


4am in Hell's Kitchen

by Jans_Methyd



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Adoption, Anxiety, Crystal is baby, Cute, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/F, Family Drama, First Day of School, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gigi is sweet, Heidi is baby, Jackie is oblivious, Jealousy, Lesbian AU, New York Wives, Nicky and Jaida are the cool aunts, Nicky is petty, Oblivious, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, School, Sickfic, get dusted girls, playdate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:34:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 84,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24813160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jans_Methyd/pseuds/Jans_Methyd
Summary: If you asked Jackie what she'd expected to be doing at 4am the last thing she would have told you is watching a kid Jan brought home of the street. She loves her wife but she swears the girls big heart is too big for her own good.It can't be too bad though, its only one night with a baby right? Right?
Relationships: Jackie Cox/Jan Sport, Nicky Doll/Jaida Essence Hall
Comments: 57
Kudos: 221





	1. Jan its 4 am.

**Author's Note:**

> First Fic! please be kind, open to criticism!
> 
> This was originally intended to be a one shot but I've written more for this AU if people like it let me know and I'll definitely upload more! ^_^

If you'd asked Jackie at age 30 what she'd be doing it wouldn't be watching a strange kid doodle on Jan's notebook. Where the fuck Jan had picked up the little shit Jackie had no idea. "She's lost and sad" was all Jan said when she plopped the small child down on the floor of their Hell's Kitchen Apartment. Crystal. The girl was named Crystal that's all she knew. Jackie sighed, rubbing her eyes behind her glasses. "So, let me get this straight Jan, you leave your gig at 4am in the fucking morning, you see a kid alone and your first thought is to bring it home?!" She yelled, kicking her feet up onto the ottoman. "Yeah. She looked cold Jacks CPS closed for the night anyways." Jan said casually as she ruffled the girl’s unruly curls. Jackie had to admit Crystal was ridiculously cute, soft auburn-brown curls, freckles all over her cheeks and wild green eyes. The little girl had hardly spoken except answering her name and telling them her parents weren't around. "Cryssie want some juice, pumpkin?" Jan cooed, the girl pausing her colouring to nod. "Janice, do not get attached. First thing tomorrow she goes to CPS." Jan nodded fetching a coffee cup full of orange juice and passing it to the little girl. Even Jackie smiled as she tried to hold it in her little hands getting frustrated when she couldn't find the hole. "She's cute Jan I'll give you that." Jackie hummed. Jackie stood back watching Jan brush the child's teeth, dress her and carry her to their bed as if it were all second nature. "Jan she can't sleep in here. No way" Jackie groaned, watching Jan's lips form a pout "why not?" she asked genuinely confused by Jackie's protests. "You're getting too close to her Jannie. I can see it." Jan shrugged and patted the bed for Jackie to climb in. The brunette clambered onto the bed, wrapping her arms round her wife's back, in the back of her mind, she admitted to herself the picture in front of her with Crystal curled up on Jan's side was beyond domestically adorable. She shook her head, no way would she ever be a parent and no way in hell could Jan convince her otherwise. She laid her head down hoping for a decent night’s rest, but her mind kept drifting back to the gremlin snoring softly in her wife’s arms. She rolled over in a huff, rationalising that one day couldn't do any harm.  
....  
Morning came and CPS were called, they were given instructions and directions of where to bring her. That’s how on a cold Tuesday morning the girls found themselves walking the child to a centre. Jackie leading the way as Jan walked with Crystal hand in hand, humming something from Aladdin. Jackie's heart swelled at the sound, but she kept them at a quick pace, hoping to have this over with by lunch time. The second they stepped in they were greeted by social workers, a tall woman, Silky took Crystal from Jan. When her hand was separated from Jan the girl began to scream, cry and kick reaching back for the blonde as she was handed to another care worker. To Jackie it felt like a punch in the gut, she glanced over at Jan who looked like her oxygen supply had been cut off. The couple gave their statements as Silky prattled on about how Crystal would be fine, even if things would be rough at first for her. "Why rough? She's an angel?" Jan piped up. Her brow was furrowed clearly bothered by Silky's attitude towards Crystal. "Well Mrs Cox I'm afraid re-homing kids like Crys isn't the easiest...she's not exactly the easiest child and her family history isn't great either. Who wants a four-year-old that runs away?" Silky tried to joke, her breathy laugh reverberating around the small office. It fell flat, Jackie wrung her hands watching Jan from the corner of her eye "Well Miss Ganache, I want her for one." Jan spoke with conviction, Jackie nearly choked on her own spit as Silky cocked an eyebrow. The corners of the woman’s mouth turning upwards into a grin "really now? Would you potentially be interested in fostering?" When Jan looked over at Jackie, the brunette froze her mind whirling and racing as she pictured the freckle faced child she had met the night before. Jackie broke the awkward silence with a "Yes. Only Crystal but yes." Silky clapped her hands smiling softly. "where do we start?" She began. Checks were done in record time, Ids taken essentials were purchased and Jan was buzzing around in excitement. Jan and Jackie had stayed up many nights talking about Jackie's own struggles. She related to the little girl, her parents loved her she had no doubts of that, but her strict upbringing was difficult. She often felt drained picturing her mothers face and picturing herself as a mother was a daunting thought. Would she be kind? Would she be able to form a connection? Would she fuck up this kid the way her mother had fucked her up? Questions raced through her head nightly, she felt lost on a sea of emotions, waves threatening to pull her under from each side. Until she saw her lighthouse, her Jan. Jan would sit beside her reassuring her, she was wonderful, there was no pressure they didn't have to do this, she would be beside her every step of the way. Jackie was conflicted on what she wanted at first until Silky had mentioned the girls history. Crystal's birth parents meant well but when her father became ill they gave her up at the age of two, Silky claims she didn't remember them. Noble enough Jackie thought, until she heard the girl had been rehomed with a meth addict, Jackie shivered thinking about the descriptions Silky gave of Crystals existence. Bruising, trust issues and a fear of fire stemming from her hellish time in a Harlem crack den. The older kids in the centre had dubbed her Crystal Methyd. And Crystal in all her innocence genuinely believed that this was her name, scaring off potential parents when introducing herself. Jackie was still unsure about fostering but nobody deserved that kind of upbringing that she was sure of. If they could help the little monster, even a little she thought it could be worthwhile. Silky was kind, motherly even, if she vouched for Crystal Jackie could trust her. Maybe it wouldn't be too bad. She thought to herself sitting up in bed. She looked over at Jan, softly sleeping beside her, delicate snores leaving her parted lips. Maybe domesticity wasn't too bad of a thing.  
...  
A month had passed between the day Jan brought Crystal home and the day Jackie brought Crystal back. She had picked up the little girl from Silky's that morning embracing the woman with a soft "thank you wonderful" before they left. The three of them had stopped at a store to buy the child some toys, clothes and other essentials for her new room. Jan carried Crystal around the toy store, the little girl watching the brightly coloured objects pass by her glassy eyes. Not once did she try to touch or play with anything, which confused Jackie, what kind of kid cried in a toy store? Crystal jolted Jackie out of her thoughts with a loud noise, the girl was squirming in Jan’s arms reaching for perhaps the ugliest toy Jackie had ever seen. A questionably stuffed blue bird, misshapen and lumpy with strange red beady eyes. But Crystal seemed enthralled by the creature. A pinata plush joined their cart next followed by, a toy tool set, some costume necklaces, colouring books, crayons, brightly coloured children’s stories and blue skinned off brand barbie. Crystals taste cheap and simple, it almost broke Jackie's heart that the most expensive thing Crystal had considered was the lumpy bird, Jackie rationalised that Crystal couldn't understand prices and that these toys were just things she genuinely found joy in. Jan on the other hand encouraged Crystal to pick up whatever she was feeling, as the child reached for a dinosaur egg. Clothes shopping was much and the same, Crystal hardly touched anything offered to her. Jackie focused on the essentials; Jan focused on fun colourful clothes the girl seemed to gravitate towards. For the second time that day Jackie had to rationalise that Crystal didn't know that she was picking up one-dollar items and shying away from more expensive things. She didn't want to think of the implications. That was until the girl’s face lit up, Jan had walked them to a costume isle and Crystal was hooked. The girl stood in front of a queen of hearts inspired piece, rubbing the fake velvet between her fingers. As Jan went to pick up the dress Crystal looked away yelling "no" defensively. "What’s the matter baby?" Jan cooed "I thought you liked this dress?" The mop of soft curly hair before them shook as Crystal cried "It’s to esspensav, 'm sorry I like the other clothes I promise." Jan shushed the child holding her close "Cryssy? Crys nobody said it was too expensive baby we wanna get you the dress okay pretty girl?" she soothed, brushing the curly red locks back behind her ear. Crystal fought until she was blue in the face but they got her the dress anyway. On the ride home Jackie noticed in the rear view, a little smile and a small hand running fingers over a faux velvet.  
....  
Jackie did not understand children at the best of times but Crystal she did not understand at all. The girl was vibrant, her boisterous giggles filling the apartment as she wreaked havoc over the living room. She was imaginative often drawing psychedelic masterpieces that ended up pinned to the fridge or playing her imaginary games in far off places with three horned goats and purple people eaters. These were all qualities Jackie had come to love about the girl, but her moods shifted quickly. When Jackie came home from work, she often found Jan cradling Crystal whispering what she assumed were sweet things to her, rubbing her back and crying along with the child. How could one little girl cause so much joy but so much sadness? She didn't understand. But Jan would reassure her Crystal was adjusting well, she just needed a lot of love and some time. Jackie wished she could join in more, but she doubted herself. Her mind often raced jumping to the worst possible conclusions at any given moment. Pictures of her dropping the girl or making her cry raced through her mind. When Crystal would try to play with her Jackie felt guilty answering with gentle a "maybe later sweetie," but later never came.  
So, when Jan was called in for a late-night show Jackie wasn't surprised that on her first night home alone with Crystal the girl hardly spoke. She looked sad, no more confused and Jackie couldn't really blame her. Jan had quickly become Mama, Crystal cried, and she was comforted by Jan’s soft arms and gentle voice. Jan gravitating towards Crystal's tv shows and movie choices sparking easy conversations over SpongeBob and paw patrol. She was home most days teaching singing lessons from their living room with Crystal dancing around off screen. They cooked together, Jan did bath time and sometimes Jackie would even find the girls napping in the empty bathtub together. But Jackie was more reserved never ignoring the child but never really interacting with the strange little girl as much as she'd like to. Her job at the local theatre left her with little time to relax and even less time to bond with a foster child. Jackie was sat back in her recliner, reading some inane garbage with a sweet romance scene as Crystal played with her lumpy bird plush on the floor. When the sound of thunder rattled through the apartment the small redhead moved from her spot on the floor towards Jackie's chair. "Jackie?" the little redhead whispered. "I'm scared." "What’s so scary Crys?" Jackie asked looking down over her book. Crystal's glassy eyes met her back as the girl tried to explain herself "Storm...no mama...I want...I need" she cried becoming more distressed with each puff of breath. "Jackie, Jackie uhh..Jackie.. uhh" Crystal tried. Jackie put her book down pulling the tiny body onto her lap. "What’s going on in your head Crystal? You need to use your big girl words" She soothed gently cupping the girls face. Another crash of thunder sounded as the bright flash of thunder filled the room. Crystal was gone. She screamed reaching wildly for Jackie with a cry of "MOMMY." Jackie's head couldn't wrap its self-round ‘the situation but her body was moving pulling the girl into a tight embrace rubbing little circles onto the small child’s back "Cryssy baby shh" she cooed "it’s just a storm it can't hurt you." The hysterical child wriggling and writhing in her arms covering her ears. Jackie took a minute to recognise the girl’s actions. "Is it too noisy baby? Do you want mommy’s headphones?" She soothed, stopping dead as she realised what she'd said. Mommy. She'd called herself mommy. She often felt distant when talking about Crystal but for the first time her rational mind had shut off. She took her earphones from her pocket playing the first song her phone provided. Crystal calmed quickly gripping onto Jackie nuzzling into the older woman’s sweater. She was sweet Jackie thought. Such a soft baby. Her baby her mind had supplied. Crystal pulled out her earphones with a soft smile, Jackie sighed realising she'd played a Pitbull song to a four-year-old. Mortified when the child sung "back it up like a tonka truck dalé" out of key giggling in hysterics. Oops. Hopefully Jan allowed her to keep her head she thought. Crystal had settled herself on Jackie's knee, swinging her legs against the couch her back turned. Jackie went to put the girl back on the floor before she spoke "Jackie.....I...can..you...are you my mommy?" wild green eyes met deep brown as Jackie stared down. "Crystal Elizabeth, I am your only mommy" she said picking the girl up and swinging her round. "Don't you ever forget it baby." she cooed as Crystal laughed cuddling closer to Jackie. That night was a night of firsts. Jackie's first attempt at bath time duty ended up with a very bubbly bathroom and a drenched Jackie but at least Crystal's hair was washed. Getting Crystal dressed was also difficult, she refused all pyjamas, standing around in her underwear until Jackie reached for a purple monster onesie. Crystal practically dove into the garment running round the bedroom pulling faces and making monster noises. Jackie gave up and filmed her for Jan even she had to admit the chaos was endearing, even if a potted plant was sacrificed for Crystal's monster moment. It turned out Jackie made a mistake of bathing Crystal first; she ordered a pizza as the girls waited Crystal found her way into her colouring pens. She'd drawn the most beautiful cat Jackie had seen from a child’s drawing. But half of the pen ended up on Crystals hands and face. Jackie washed her up again pulling the little girl into a tight squeeze. Jan wandered through the door holding a pizza box and ice cream not long after "picked these up outside guessing these belong to you two?" She grinned. Jackie nodded trading the pizza box for Crystal, smiling as Jan pulled her into her chest smothering the child with kisses. She leaned over to Jackie planting a tender kiss on the taller woman relishing in the dusting of blush that fell over Jackie's cheeks. The three ate quietly until Crystal dropped a slice into her lap. She froze tears forming instantly as she tried to brush the sauce off of her pyjamas. "M sorry please don't be mad" she sniffled, relaxing into Jan's touch as she lifted the girl. "Nobody's mad birdy. Mama's gotcha." she said carrying her into the bedroom. When the girls came back Crystal was in fits of tears now dressed in a big bird onesie her tears flowed down her cheeks in fat steady streams. Jackie wrapped her arms round both girls waiting for her tears to subside. "Hey hey Cryssy honey tell mommy what’s wrong?" Jackie whispered softly stroking the girls cheek. Crystal softly mumbled an incoherent string of words before huffing and trying again." No hitting please....m' sorry...Papa...hit me if I got dirty...or I sayed I wanted....or...or if touch things....m sorry" she mumbled. After months of wondering things clicked into place, so that’s why the empty bathtub became a bed she mused. Jackie looked at Jan who much like Crystal had tears flowing down her cheeks, Jackie guessed she too was crying, wrapping her arms tightly round them both. The clock ticked stubbornly trying to fill the silence until Jan piped up "Crystal Elizabeth nobody will ever hit you again on my watch baby girl. Never ever ever mama promises." Jackie's arms tightened round her girls, tearily she looked down at Crystal's face "baby girl, nobody is gonna hurt you ever again not with us mama and mommy love you so very much." The girl had burrowed her way into Jan's lap, her sobs slowing, her hands gripping onto the fabric of both women's clothing. "Baby we love you so much we could never hurt you" Jan cooed, Jackie nodded vigorously adding "if anyone ever tries anything just call mommy and she'll come get em birdy." Crystal's bright green eyes shone softly as she blinked away the rest of her tears. "Mama...mommy love you" she hummed. "How about we go watch Lilo and Stitch and get into that ice cream hm baby?" Jackie asked earning a whoop from both girls. They fell asleep that night curled up in front of the tv Elvis Presley songs softly playing in the background.  
....  
Five months into Fostering Crystal and Jackie couldn't imagine life without her. Crystal was perched on Jan's knee sipping a babycino Jackie had purchased for the little imp. Autumn rolled round much quicker than anyone could have expected. Autumn meant Jan's shows were shorter, people preferring daytime brunches than the cold walk home at three am. Jackie spent less time in the office and more time writing from home, leaving Crystal with free range over both of her parents. Park visits became a regular occurrence and welcome distraction in Jackie's hectic work life. She had walked Crystal down tenth to meet Jan at work before coffee and settling onto the Park bench. Jan sipped at her marshmallow flavoured monstrosity as she leant her head onto Jackie’s shoulder. Her purple gingham heathers look doing little to protect her from the cold but sending Jackie's imagination wild. Too wild she thought almost missing the little hand reaching up to snag Jan's coffee. "Nope not this time Cryssy that’s a mama drink, want a cake pop instead baby?" She tried, remembering the last time Crystal had managed to get her hands on caffeine, a shudder working its way down her spine as she fished the treat from the Starbucks bag, handing it over to her little gremlin. Jackie had never been one for domesticity she thought but couldn't tear her eyes off of her wife holding their daughter. Her wife and their daughter flew around her brain spreading warmth and comfort any time they entered her thoughts. Jackie had always been an overthinker, so much of an overthinker she often missed important details as she was spaced out. It seems once again she had missed out as she caught sight of Jan following Crystal into the playpark beckoning her over with a finger. Jan had settled Crystal down on a swing beside another girl dressed in soft yellows. Jackie smiled brightly hugging Peppermint and pinching little Widow on the cheeks. Pepper was one of her closest friends, Widow her niece. When Pepper had learnt of Crystal, she demanded they bring her over to meet Widow. The girls had hit it off straight away, Crystal following the slightly older girl around like a lost puppy. A catch up felt good and natural it gave the girls time to play and bond. Jackie and Pepper chatting about everything from Politics to work with Jan joining in at brief intervals when the girls had chosen to play close by. Widow climbing up the ladder of the pirate ship to jump straight back off and show Crystal her splits. The little red head clapping in awe hugging the older girl as they played. "Hey auntie!" Widow yelled "watch me do a flip" before jumping off the ship once again to show her trick. Pepper whooped "atta girl Widow baby" as Jan and Jackie hyped her from afar. After a while the adults had settled so deep in conversation about Pepper's upcoming show, they missed the girls sneaking off to the big kids slide. Widow hung herself upside down from the monkey bars grinning at Crystal as the shorter girl struggled to pull herself up onto a platform. "C'mon Crys you got this bitch" Widow called out as the redhead flung herself onto the metal with a small squeak. "Wassa bitch Widow?" Crystal asked smiling at her friend, Widow was the coolest in Crystal's mind nobody could be cooler. "It’s like a word you say when someone does something awesome, Aunties always like "oh bitch" if she has a cool story" Widow beamed, Crystal also thought Widow was the smartest girl she knew, so she had to be right. The girls made their way slowly to the top of the slide both a little hesitant when they saw the drop down. "M scared" Crystal murmured gripping onto Widow's hand. "I'm not scared Crys watch I can do it!" She smiled throwing herself down the slide at full force, landing gracefully at the bottom. "YES BITCH" Crystal yelled giggling after her. Catching an older woman glaring at her in disgust, Crystal shrugged it off walking over to the top of the slide. Her eyes locked on Widow. She gulped as she threw herself down, her small body propelling itself down the steep incline at full force. She landed in a heap at the bottom, scrapes adorning each elbow but a smile on her face. Crystal giggled hugging onto Widow as Widow cheered her on "we're those bitches Crys!" She whooped the redhead nodding in agreement. Both girls were giggling away when a bony hand grabbed each of them by the arm. "You disgusting little creatures don't you ever use that kind of language in my presence again you filthy little demons" a harsh voice barked. Crystal looked up at the older lady she saw from the top of the slide, her mind shutting down in fear. Widow screamed and kicked but Crystal's tummy couldn't take it she felt dizzy, she was scared, and she wanted her mommies. Jackie, Pepper and Jan ran over at the scream in time to see Crystal sink her teeth into the woman's arm, tears rolling down her cheeks. The second the woman's grip loosened both girls were running to their guardians with shrieks of "Auntie and mama." Jackie glared at the older woman, deciding she will deal with it as the other women dealt with the girls. "Excuse me ma'am can I ask why you had your hands on our children?" Jackie barked, rarely angry unless Jan or Crystal were involved. "Your brats were cussing in front of all these kids you should teach them some manners." The woman snapped. Widow pouted from Peppers arms as the older woman chastised the little girl in her arms, knowing her love of a certain newly discovered word. Jackie was about to back down and apologise to the woman, she'd scold Crystal at home the girl being a little too emotional right now to understand. When Jan piped in evidently angry by the rare scowl that graced her soft features. "So what if she cussed, why the fuck do you have your hand on my daughter you bitch" she growled. Jackie had only seen Jan mad a handful of times, it was intimidating to say the least. The woman flinched as Jan stepped closer "here’s what you do if a kid swears in front of you. You get down on her level and you tell her this" Jan started turning to Crystal in a much calmer expression, her voice softening to a gentle lilt. "Cryssy baby what you said was a bad word honey I know you didn't know but we don't use that word and we are not gonna use it again ok?" Jan cooed watching as Crystal nodded with a shy "sorry mama" Jackie melted as the little girl buried her face into Jan's chest. Jan however ignored their baby focusing her attention back onto the woman "what you do not do is touch a child you don't know you understand. Keep your hands off my baby and look after your own spawn." The woman scurried off huffing indignantly about teen moms as Jan turned back to Pepper and Jackie with a soft what? Jackie would never admit it but she'd never experienced the fear and arousal that she was experiencing currently. The girls played for a little while longer before Pepper called it a day, she had a meeting the next day and Widow had began to fuss about being sleepy. They said their goodbyes starting their journeys home. Jackie walked slightly faster than usual enjoying the cool autumn breeze, keeping her eyes on the girls behind her. Her thoughts drifting back to the woman in the park, to Jan's outburst and Crystal's teary face. Jackie usually thought things through before acting but her fingers reached for her phone before she could comprehend what she was doing she had texted Silky. As the sun set over New York Jackie sat on the balcony waiting for Jan to appear from the curtains. The blonde slipped out settling onto Jackie's lap, "she’s asleep gorge" she purred wrapping her arms round her wife. "Talk to me?" She hummed her fingers tracing Jackie's rib cage. "That old bitch....she just got to me ya know?" Jackie sighed as Jan gently rubbed her shoulders. "How'd she get you gorge?" she asked, her voice laced with a sweet concern, Jackie tensed slightly taking the smaller manicured hands into her own "that teen mom comment...you're so young Jannie, I never really pay attention to it but you're twenty three years old and I'm thirty how the fuck did we end up married baby?" Jan simply leaned her head forward to rest on Jackie's shoulder "well I met you in that little coffee shop on 5th and you wrote your number on my tip jar. The rest is history babe, our vacations, my pretty little white dress and my pretty lil something blue "she purred as Jackie visibly relaxed "I do have the prettiest wife even when she's pissed I mean at the Park..I never see you mad Jan. I never get mad...only if someone hurts you. But I got mad. I got so mad the second she touched Crys. I can't even explain it." Jan kissed her way along Jackie's jaw soothing the brunette "she’s our baby damn right you got mad." Jan hummed, waiting for Jackie to respond. "Not yet. She's not ours yet Jan. I called Silky and I got it sent over so if you think we should, we can sign tomorrow." Jackie mused as Jan nodded grinning. The blonde kissed her way along Jackie's throat and up to her lips with gentle whispers of I love you. They kissed melting into each other’s touch as the sun set over the city. Tomorrow would be a good day Jackie thought.  
...  
If you asked Jackie how she would be spending her 31st birthday a year ago, she'd tell you it'd be with her wife and nobody else. But now Jackie had an ecstatic five-year-old bouncing in her lap singing happy birthday off key "Crystal Elizabeth Cox Methyd, you're lovely baby but we need to get you some singing lessons" Jackie laughed. Crystal poked her tongue out singing louder, ramming a poorly wrapped box into Jackie's hand. "Birthday gif mommy" she grinned. The brunette gently unwrapped the box, careful to preserve the cute drawings Crystal had done all over the paper. Jackie squealed pulling the little girl close "Oh sweetheart, a star trek mug how did you know you clever girl?" she exclaimed kissing the girls forehead, tilting her head to wink at Jan. "Mommy can we watch the Spock man tonight?" Crystal asked excitedly bouncing on Jackie's knee. Jan groaned internally of course Crystal would be a massive nerd too, like mother like daughter. The blonde walked up behind them kissing each on the cheek. It was moments like this that Jackie relished in. Her heart felt full, her body warm and her life complete. If you asked Jackie where she'd be at 32, she'd tell you right where she is now with her wife wrapped round her and their daughter in her arms.


	2. Its 7am Jackie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jan is always considered the calm one, but when her mother is involved she freaks out. Jan's morning is turned on its head with anxiety and Crystal just wants a snack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the positive comments on the first chapter! I think I'm going to try and make this into a series. hope everyone is safe and well. Hopefully chapter 3 will be finished soon! ^_^

Jan was a morning person, she loved being up to watch the sun rise, the cool morning air refreshing to her overheated body. She adored watching the sky fade from hues of orange through to blue, her stress melting as he veils of night lifted from over the city, revealing the Manhattan skyline. She stood on the balcony watching the traffic below, morning commuters rushing on their way to work while she idly gazed on. Her mornings were her quiet times, her moment to relax before the stressful long day ahead. She wandered back into the bedroom grabbing her laptop, deciding she may as well get some emails sent out before Crystal woke up. Jan smiled to herself, enamoured by the figure laying balled up in the covers with an arm hanging over the bed. She sauntered over kissing Jackie's forehead, gazing momentarily at her soft features. Her lips hung open as she snored, her hair tangled in every possible direction framing her face and to Jan she couldn't look more beautiful. She pulled herself away from the bedroom, padding her way down the hall towards the balcony. Stopping by the kitchen for coffee, she wasn't inhuman enough to wake up without caffeine, despite what Jaida lead others to believe, robot barbie-cheerleader branding be damned. While pouring her usual marshmallow flavoured drink she noticed soft footsteps coming from the hallway. "Morning birdy baby" she chirped as a tangled mass of red hair came into view. Crystal stood rubbing her eyes, reaching her arms out huffing "Mama... 'm sleepy." The blonde scooped her up into her arms working her fingers through Crystal's matted hair. She carried her out onto the balcony, settling the girl down on her lap. "Comfy baby?" She cooed softly, wrapping her blanket round the small girl. Crystal snuggled up into her mother’s lap without a response quickly drifting back into sleep. Jan petted her hair as she worked, quickly getting through her emails, planning a few singing lessons and checking in on her social medias before Jackie eventually came out to drag the blonde inside. "Jannie how long where you out there? You're freezing" she chuckled pressing soft kisses onto her frozen cheeks. Jackie barely registered the rustling blanket pile in Jan's arms until a sleepy Crystal popped her head out, causing the brunette to fall backwards with a yelp. "Morning mommy" the redhead said, oblivious as ever, she turned her attention back to the blonde with a gentle "mama I want maple today." Jan kissed her forehead in affirmation between fits of hysterical laughter, leaving Jackie to pull herself up, snatching Crystal from Jan's arms. "What have I got here? A blanket burrito? or a snuggle monster" Jackie cried playfully tickling her through the blankets much to Crystal's disgust. The girl flailing, squealing and slapping at Jackie's chest playfully until she was placed down on the chair. Breakfast was a quiet affair, Jackie talking about her plans for the day, while Jan listened attentively wiping Crystal's sticky hands before she could cause any further damage to the furniture. Jackie went on to describe how Bri had planned an entire run-through of Anastasia tomorrow, but told Jackie she wouldn’t be needed despite her job as production manager demanding she attend all rehearsals. Jan waited patiently for Jackie to finish her passionate rant, loving the fire that filled her eyes as she spoke, when the brunette seemed to finish Jan offered a simple "Jacks...when do you finish tonight? You know tomorrows the tenth, right?" Jan asked gently, watching the colour momentarily drain from Jackie's face with her impending realisation. The tenth of each month meant one thing. Alexis was coming. Jan's family was sweet, sure but Alexis Michelle was a formidable woman. She doted on her children at any given chance, despising anyone who upset her babies instantly. This possessive streak combined with the fact Jan was her youngest and their seven-year age gap, meant Alexis often entered their apartment on the warpath, scrutinising Jackie at any given opportunity. "We did mention miss Cryssy here right?" Jackie blanched as Jan chuckled "yes she knows Jacks I'm not gonna spring a grandchild on my mom like that. But could you imagine her face if I did?" Jan giggled. "That evil Janice and you know it" she chuckled, gently pinching the blonde on the shoulder, relishing in the loud squeak it earned her. The brunette pulled herself up from the table kissing her girls hastily, knowing if she didn't head to work now, she'd be late again. She couldn't deal with another lecture from Monet today, not with "her monster in law coming to ruin her weekend," she'd tell her friend hoping for a bit of sympathy. She grabbed her bag lingering in the doorway to watch Jan wrestle to get a syrupy Crystal cleaned up. She sighed peacefully; she'd gone soft she knew but who could blame her?  
...  
Jan seemed cool on the outside but internally she was worried. She'd taken Crystal out to clear her head, work could wait until Monday. Walking the girl to the coffee shop with promises of cookies if she didn't run off on busy street corners. Her mother terrified her, she loved her dearly, but she would find any little detail she could to pick on Jackie and the thought of her mother turning any of that negative attention onto Crystal broke her heart. A loud whistle quickly snapped her out of her thoughts, she was enveloped in a soft hug, the smell of Jasmine overpowered the air calming her instantly "hey sweets" she chuckled wrapping her arms round Jaida. Nicky stood close by holding Crystal in her arms, the girl staring up at Nicky's perfectly beat face in awe. They walked inside settling into a booth while Jaida got their drinks. "She'll be a while, Dida's on cash today you know how they talk." Nicky fawned, occasionally glancing over at her girlfriend. Jan laughed gently "Nicks stop checking her out she'll be here soon enough gorge" she teased, smirking as the Parisian flushed red. "Anyway, Janice what do we owe the pleasure?" Nicky asked pointedly, never one to shy away from drama. Jan's smile faltered as she sighed deeply, "Mom's coming to visit tomorrow, I should be excited but I'm not what if she bullies Jacks in front of Cryssy. I don't wanna put up with any more fights. I know she's my mom, but like what if she hates Crys, or pulls her mother knows best shit on us again." she exclaimed. Nicky leaned back in her seat "then call your mother a bitch, tell her to get used to it and move on simple" she laughed. Jan chuckled, her megawatt smile returning quicker than it had left her face, mumbling "you're a poet Nicky, a master of language." Jaida placed their drinks down on the table abruptly taking her spot beside Nicky. "I heard it all baby, fuck your mom, the girls come first right baby?" she cooed, reaching over the table to boop Crystal's nose. Jan smiled softly, they talked for hours, Jaida excitedly showing her new designs for her next brand launch and Nicky planning her next party aloud, careful to shy away from specifics while Crystal listened in. The girl in all honesty seemed too busy drawing her aunties to notice or care. Only paying attention when Jaida offered her sweets or helped her add glitter to her pictures. After their third coffee, Nicky stood reaching for her jacket. "As lovely as this was Jannie I have to go back to the office, Jaida you are coming if I leave you two alone for too long you'll get baby fever ma belle, I can feel it." she said wrapping her arms around her girlfriend who screamed in indignation, "you're just jealous I'm her favourite auntie!" Nicky scoffed as her girlfriend held her arms out for Crystal to jump into. "Not true, right Cryssy? Tell auntie Jaida you love me more." Nicky huffed, the tiny redhead looked up her innocent green eyes almost sparkling as she spoke "but auntie Jaida gives me glitter and tells the best stories." The three adults stared for a moment, Jan and Jaida laughing as Nicky pouted. In that moment Jan relaxed. She realised if anything happened, she always had her friends. Her chosen family were fiercely protective of each other if one feels the others were there to lift her back up. Jaida, Nicky, Pepper, Monet, Bob, Bri and hell even little Widow, were all the support she and Jackie needed. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but Crystal was lucky, she had half of Manhattan.  
....  
The rest of the day was a whirlwind of cleaning, organising and hiding photos. Jan hardly slept that night, her mind raced with every possible situation her mother could put her into. She leaned against the railing in the chilly morning air, scrolling through Instagram to ease her mind. She'd dressed herself in five different outfits restarted her makeup twice and kept pulling her hair out of its ponytail only to restyle it five minutes later. "Penny for your thoughts Mrs Cox? I can hear your brain ticking from the bedroom." Jackie called from behind her, pulling the blonde down onto her lap. "I'm nervous what if she hates her, what if she tries to take over, what if she tries to turn Cryssy against you? What if-" she was cut off by a soft pair of lips, their kiss was sweet, supportive. Jan felt herself melting into Jackie's touch. "Then she can go fuck herself baby, we're perfect how we are she can take us or leave us." Jackie said, running her hands through the loose blonde strands "keep your hair down today, it looks pretty princess." She mused, standing up and carrying the blonde back inside bridal style. Both paused in their conversation, staring at Crystal sat on the counter. She had chosen her outfit for today all by herself, and it showed. She wore a bright yellow printed dress and as many necklaces by the looks of things, that she could find. A smattering of pink glittery eyeshadow over each eyelid and what Jackie suspected to be Jan's peach lip gloss around her mouth. Jackie dropped Jan unceremoniously, helping her up with an apologetic smile. "Cryssy babe how did you get up there?" she cooed helping the girl down, letting her choose her cereal for the morning. "Mommy, I cannot tell you it’s a magic trick" she said sweetly grinning like the Cheshire cat, running off to the couch to eat before Jackie could utter another word. "I'll clean her up, you go get dressed gorge" Jan declared with a peck on the cheek, running after the gremlin, kitchen towel in hand. The doorbell rang at 11am, Jan answered swallowing her nerves. Alexis greeted her daughter with a warm hug, tight enough to cut off all circulation, Jan wondering if her face had turned the same shade of purple as her outfit. "Jan angel, how have you been? Have you been eating well? you look a little skinny dear" she greeted enthusiastically, smiling gently at Jackie as Jan reassured her with equal enthusiasm. Jackie couldn’t help but notice how similar the women were whenever they shared a space, opening her arms for the elder women as she strode past the entrance to hug her too. “And you Jacqueline, how have you been? Well I hope." She asked, Jackie nodded "the theatre's been treating me well thanks Alexis, I'll put in a word for you next time we do Evita." she chuckled earning an approving smile from the older woman. "So where is little Kristen?" She asked, Jan tensing at the blunder. "Crystal mom, her name's Crystal. Cryssy baby come to mama!" she called holding her arms out expectantly as the girl launched herself from her bedroom into the blonde’s arms. The redhead stared up at the strange woman towering over her, taking in the sight. She was tall, with long perfectly styled red hair, she was beautiful like her mama and wore pretty dress with necklaces that sparkled and very, very tall shoes. Crystal's mouth opened slightly as she gazed up at the older woman "she has red hair? Mama she has red hair like me!" Crystal yelled as she bounced up and down excitedly. Alexis knelt in front of them, reaching a manicured hand out for Crystal "yes Crystal? or do you like Cryssy? We have red hair and that makes us very special baby do you know why?" she cooed, an amused smile tugged at her lips as the little girl shook her head "because only fairies have red hair" she half whispered winking at Jan. Jackie wrapped her wife up in her arms kissing her cheek as Alexis fawned over the girl. "See? She loves her no need to worry anymore feel your Jantasy and relax babe" Jackie mumbled against her hair. Jan let out a breath she didn’t realise she was holding, relaxing into Jackie’s arms as the sound of familiar fairy stories drifted through their apartment. Maybe things wouldn't be that bad after all she though.  
.....  
"Are you really a fairy?" Crystal asked, her eyes not leaving Alexis for a moment. The girl expected someone with bright hair, wings or a magic wand like in sleeping beauty not a lady in a buisness suit to be claiming to be a fairy. "Oh yes baby, I'm a fairy. Fairies never lie" she said gently sipping her coffee. Crystal squinted looking her up and down once more nodding approvingly mumbling "Okay fairy lady." Alexis looked down at the girl endearingly, studying her face "Crystal dear you can call me grandma if you like." Green eyes met hazel as she stared back, "gramma?" she tried the word foreign on her tongue, it felt strange, but she liked it. She got to her feet walking over to the older woman, sitting close enough to smell her rose scented perfume. "You smell like flowers." she said eyeing Alexis suspiciously "fairy dust sweetie, it’s a very sweet smell isn't it." the older woman replied. She reached down into her bag pulling out something Crystal could not see. Alexis handed her a small box wrapped in pink glittery paper "what's this?" she asked running her fingers across the glistening surface, delighted to find it covered her fingers with sparkles. "It’s a present baby open it if you like" the older woman encouraged, flinching slightly as the girl tore into it with vigour. Crystal shrieked in delight at the glittery brightly coloured bottles before her "thanks gramma I love painting!" she yelled bouncing in her seat. "They're paints for your nails Cryssy dear like mine" she cooed gesturing to her deep green manicured fingers. Alexis leaned in closer to the girl "its real magic baby because it won't come off if you wash your hands." Crystal's tiny world seemed to explode in that moment if her face was any indication, Jackie nudged Jan from their spot in the kitchen "Maybe your mom has a new favourite" she teased. The blonde pouted pressing a flour covered hand to Jackie's butt, quickly retreating to their bedroom laughing. Jackie paused, rationalising the adult thing to do would be to walk away especially considering Crystal might be watching. But today rational Jackie was nowhere to be seen, the brunette grabbed the flour running to the bedroom, Alexis had Crystal she would be fine, the only thing Jackie cared about was revenge.  
...  
Alexis had spent the rest of her morning chatting with Crystal, showing her old photos and watching the Wizard of Oz. Alexis' motherly nature made her a natural Grandma, neither Jan or Jackie had seen Crystal warm up to a stranger that quickly besides Widow. Crystal sat beside Alexis on the couch mumbling nonsense as she let the older woman paint her nails a sparkly pink. "Jan, Jackie. You're not getting out of this we're all having our nails done" Alexis proclaimed as Crystal whooped in agreement. Jan sat beside her mother letting her take her hand "Jan baby, you can tell me anything you know what right?" Alexis said tentatively, swiping lavender nail varnish across her fingers. "Yeah mom I know, why?" she asked, puzzled at the change in atmosphere "you looked so nervous this morning, like I'd eat you or something." she chuckled, watching Jan's hazel eyes for reassurance. "It was stupid mom, I just wanted to make sure everything was perfect....and that you liked her." Alexis stopping painting for a second, capping the nail varnish and setting the bottle aside. She placed her hands on her daughter’s shoulders, glancing over at Jackie and Crystal who were very much occupied. Crystal's tongue poking out from her mouth as she tried to paint red stripes on Jackie's nails. "Janice Marcia, look at me. Are you happy?" she whispered, Jan nodding instantly "then my love, I'm happy. I don't care who you married or what you do as long as you're safe and happy I'm happy too." Jan blinked away tears, a smile spreading across her face "thanks mom, I'm stupid, I love you." Alexis shook her head replying, "No problem baby you are, and I love you too." Jan was a lucky woman; she knew it deep down. Even if her daughter couldn't keep her hands clean for more than five minutes or her wife snored like a foghorn. Nothing possibly could ruin her mood, she discovered quickly however that the same could not be said for their couch. "Crystal not again" she sighed running for the cleaning wipes, Alexis sat laughing pulling the toddler into her lap. "Come here little pixie let mama work her human magic with the paint, we're getting chocolate milk." Crystal squealed snuggling up to Alexis, brushing her fingers through the long red waves flowing over her shoulder as it glittered in the sunlight. Maybe her grandma really was magic, she made all the bad feelings in their home vanish really fast. Crystal rested her head against Alexis' shoulder watching her mommies clean the couch, giggling as they worked. Yes, she had decided, Grandma had to be magic after all.


	3. It's 9am Crystal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystal's first day of school has Jackie panicking, as usual. but Crystal seems okay. Follow Crystal through her first real step into the big wide. Maybe Jackie doesn't have anything to worry about after all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kind comments I hope people are enjoying this little universe.  
> I have a few more chapters planned but if anyone has any scenarios they would like to see requested let me know!  
> Hope you are safe and well.

To say Jackie was prone to meltdowns was an understatement. She panicked her way through school, she panicked her way through work and now she was once again panicking in a school parking lot. Crystal seemed much calmer than her mother, surprisingly the little girl was too busy taking in her surroundings to notice the fear on Jackie’s face. Just a week ago they had been school shopping, Jan grabbing as many glittery school supplies as she could to keep Crystal happy and everything had seemed fine. But Jan wasn't here, Jackie's human safety blanket was called into cover for Rosé as a wedding singer and Jackie was spiralling fast. She felt a gentle squeeze on her hand, a pair of sweet green eyes staring back at her. Crystal may not be a mind reader, but the little girl was more emotionally intelligent at five years old than Jackie was at thirty-one. Crystal dragged them towards the doors leaving Jackie grimacing, her sequined green backpack reflecting light into Jackie's eyes. Cursing slightly under her breath, she made a mental note to never let Jan buy school supplies again. They walked inside the classroom Jackie clinging to her little hand for dear life, she'd been fine, she knew Crystal's magnetic personality would make her friends easily, but Jackie couldn't help but worry, it was second nature. "Mommy look at all the pictures!" Crystal squealed pointing at the brightly coloured posters decorating the classroom, Jackie nodded smiling endearingly at the little redhead "you wanna draw baby? Look there’s crayons on that table over their" she encouraged trying her best to hide the quivering of her voice. She stood back watching the redhead tear off into the corner, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "Hey mama it’s okay" a voice soothed from her left, the brunette jumped slightly, quickly composing herself as she turned to the woman. "Sorry for the scare, I'm Miss West I'll be watching your little one today. Would she happen to be Roxanne, Crystal or Aquaria?" she asked gently. Jackie blinked confused for a second, her eyes zeroing in on the paper register the woman was holding "Oh sorry, I'm a little out of my depth here that’s Crystal. She's a good kid I promise." Miss West smiled patting Jackie's shoulder comfortingly, "She'll be fine with me no need to be nervous, I'm sure she's lovely I look forward to teaching her" she said. Jackie nodded quickly making her way to Crystal's table. She knelt down taking a deep breathe, speaking slowly and calmly trying her best not to frighten the child "Cryssy, mama's gonna come pick you up later okay? You be a good girl for Miss West mommy loves you lots and she'll see you later." She leaned in to hug her, feeling the little arms wrap around her squeezing tight "okay mommy I'll be good promise." Crystal replied, a smiled played on her lips, Jackie rubbed her freckled cheek with her palm hoping to whatever deity was listening school wouldn't ruin her little Crystal's optimistic view of the world. She stood waving leaving quickly, tears flowing down her cheeks on her way to work. As she entered the office Monet greeted her open arms "hey lady, guessing it didn't go well?" she soothed, nudging her side gently. Jackie shook her head slightly "she's fine Mo, she didn't cry or anything I'm just so scared she'll get picked on kids are evil you know." Monet nodded sympathetically running a hand through her loose curls, "girl she'll be fine, your Crys is a fighter I'd be more scared for the other kids" she chuckled. Jackie howling beside her "yeah I guess so, come on the cast's waiting and Bri will have your neck if you keep her any longer."  
....  
Crystal was not fine. She was sad, she sat at the table coloring a dinosaur watching from the corner of her teary eye as the other kids played together. She was scared and didn't want to talk, other kids in big groups made her tummy feel funny she was okay alone she thought. Miss West had tried to talk to her but she couldn't find her words, answering questions with a nod or shaking her head. She promised mama she'd be brave but being brave was really hard she just wanted to cry with ugly birdy and eat ice cream. She heard the screech of the chair beside her and looked over to see a little girl with long brunette hair take the seat. The other girl looked pretty, she had a pretty green dress and a headband on, Crystal looked down at her own leopard print shorts and pink t-shirt wondering if the pretty girl thought she was weird. She had heard Dahlia call her weird earlier, whoever Dahlia was. She didn't look up, but she'd heard it and Miss West scolding her, Crystal had never been called weird before but she quickly realised that weird meant bad and she felt horrible. A small voice caught her attention as the girl on her left smiled at her "Good morning I'm Gigi and I like your dinosaur." The girl's voice was pretty too Crystal thought as she smiled for the first time since her mother left. "I'm Crystal I like your dress it looks like Daphne." Gigi gasped; Crystal was about to cry thinking she'd messed up as the girl screamed "I love Scooby Doo!" The pair giggled, latching onto each other Crystal was so happy she'd made a friend. By the time Miss West called them over for story time Crystal and Gigi had decided they were soul mates. She was about to sit down as she saw a dark-haired girl, she assumed was Dahlia screaming "gap face" at a little girl with cute pigtails crying on the floor. She walked over holding Gigi's hand ignoring Dahlia's whiney voice as she approached. "Hi I'm Crystal and I think you're really pretty do you want to sit with me and Gigi?" she asked politely using her words just like mama said. The smaller girl looked up at them as she wiped her tears away. "Uhuh please, 'm Heidi" she whispered letting Crystal take her hand. Heidi was funny, really funny and Crystal loved her for it, her gap whistled when she spoke which made Heidi even cooler because nobody else could do that. Crystal thought it sound just like her mama's singing, tuneful and full of soul. Gigi sat with her head on Crystal's shoulder, Heidi's hand found the redheads giving her a gentle squeeze when she got scared of the monsters in Miss West's story. Crystal sat content to listen imagining herself as the brave knight saving the princesses from the mean Dh-Monster. If school was like this, she couldn't wait to keep coming back  
....  
At lunchtime Crystal learnt that school was much harder than she thought. The playground was overwhelming, kids of all sizes running around, shoving and "playing" roughly. Her eyes drawn to boys pelting each-other with red balls, the high-pitched whoosh of it slicing the air and the resounding smack as it made contact with its victim left her shuddering. She kept her hand in Gigi's holding onto the brunette for dear life as they walked to the picnic benches, their class got to eat outside today and that scared Crystal even more. She hated dirt, paint and glitter were great, flour and cake batter were fine, but mud, dirt or dust made her feel ill. The girls sat together with Heidi and Rock, sharing their lunches and giggling about the games they would play. Rock, Roxanne but she hated the name, animatedly told them about her Pokémon cards she had taken from her brother. Explaining why Jiggly puff was the best one but Crystal found it hard to keep up with all the noise around them. She mindlessly chewed at her food, swapping fruit snacks with Gigi when Heidi caught her eye "I don't like the big kids they look mean" she said with a pout. "Widow is nice, she's really cool you'll love her Heidi" Crystal beamed, grasping her friends’ hand across the table. A mantra of if Heidi was being brave, she could be brave too, playing on loop in her head as they spoke. The girls quickly scarfed down their lunches, Rock nearly choking on her orange slices much to Gigi's amusement before they were allowed to go play. Gigi dragged the girls to the jungle gym yelling "last one to the top has to go down the slide backwards!" as she clambered up the rope ladder. Crystal tried climbing but the loud noises rang even louder in her ears the higher she got. She felt like her heart was falling through her chest as she saw Rock beat her to the top podium. Heidi, Rock and then Gigi slide down the step metal slide squealing with excitement, but Crystals legs wouldn't let her move. She laid down flipping herself over, her heart pounding in her chest as she propelled herself backwards. She landed with a thud hearing soft gasps and footsteps as her friends ran closer. "Cryssy! I'm sorry that was a bad idea I'm sorry" she heard a teary Gigi yell. "Crystal are you okay? that looks owie!" A scared Rock questioned as Heidi balled unable to speak through her hiccupping. It took a moment for Crystal to figure out what they meant when she felt it, a sharp sting on her knees. She touched her kneecap, the familiar sting and sticky feeling bringing tears to her eyes "I'm bleeding? I don't like blood...its icky" she whined watching as Rock flagged down Miss West. Gigi and Heidi held her hands watching with glossy eyes as the older woman approached. "Oh no Crystal does it hurt sweetie" she asked gently helping the girl to her feet, the redhead nodded feebly keeping her eyes to the ground. "Come inside a moment dear we'll get you patched up and then you four can go back to your game." As they walked to the infirmary, Crystal felt hot tears flow down her cheeks she was embarrassed she hated it. She wanted her mommies she wanted home, she wanted Gigi and Heidi and Rock and Widow not to be sat with a stranger poking her knees. She sat in the chair as Miss Wests soothing voice reverberated around the small room "Crystal honey you're very very brave did you know that?" she asked. "'M not brave Miss I'm scared." she admitted fresh tears threatening to spill over when the antiseptic touched her knees. "What’s so scary Crystal? Your fall? It won't happen again you were very brave on the slide." she shook her head "n-no Miss, I don't...kids scare me I don't like big groups they make me uncomfy...uncomfytable. They're too noisy." she whined, looking at the older woman with fear painted all over her soft freckled features. "Crystal, when big scary noises make us feel bad do you know what I like to do?" she asked, placing a pink band-aid on her left knee and a green one on her right. The redhead shook her head, curls falling into her eyes with each movement. "I like to count from one to five and take a nice deep breath let’s try it shall we?" She tried her best to copy her teacher taking big breaths in with each number, but her tears wouldn't stop. "I-I'm sorry I'm weird. I'm okay really can I go now?" she pleaded noticing the flash of surprise that crossed the older woman's face as she spoke. "You are not weird sweetheart, where did you hear that from?" the teacher soothed letting the child catch her breath. She shook her head biting at her lips in case she said the wrong thing again, she didn't like these questions they were hard. "Now, you are you, and you are the best thing you could be Crystal do you understand?" She nodded wiping her eyes, she still felt horrible, but that was okay she just wanted to be out of the room. When she noticed a taller girl with bright green braids run over to her, the redhead nearly fell out of her seat with a panicked cry of "WIDOW." Widow wrapped her friend into a tight hug rubbing her back until the tears stopped "Heidi told me you fell Crys did you wash your hands yet?" She shook her head, Miss West giving Widow a nod of approval as the girl helped her clean up in the sink. "Better?" she asked with a grin, Crystal nodded holding onto Widow's hand as Miss West held the door. Recess was nearly over but she wanted to make sure the others were all okay. She didn't want to make her friends cry again not on the first day! Heidi ran towards them first yelling "Widow is a superhero! See she found her" as she jumped up and down excitedly. "Heidi you're the Robin to my Batman, we're gonna kick butt together for real!" Widow chuckled, the girls pulling stupid superhero poses as the other three grinned. Their last few minutes were spent playing Batman, Crystal made the best Mr Freeze as she kidnapped Batgirl dragging her round the jungle gym by her hand as the heroes chased behind them. Gigi didn't let her go even when the bell went, she held her hand until the day ended. Maybe school was okay, if Gigi, Widow, Heidi and Rock were there every day she'd like it a whole lot more.  
.....  
Crystal stood in the yard nervously waiting for her mama. The bell had rung nearly ten minutes ago, Heidi had gone with her mother already and Rock's dad had scooped her up promising to take her to Goode's for ice cream. Her and Gigi waited hand in hand talking about their day and the friendship bracelets they were going to make at craft time tomorrow. When a familiar head of blonde hair rounded the corner, Crystal jumped squealing with delight as Jan walked over kneeling to her level. The redhead latched onto her chest snuggling into the pretty purple velvet of her dress. It was soft and Jan was warm, she felt like home. "Ready to go home baby, tell mama all about your day?" Crystal nodded eagerly but hesitated when she heard a sniffle from behind her. "Mama can we wait with Gigi please? I don't wanna leave her all alone." she pleaded batting her eyelashes and standing on her tip toes. Jan could not deny her anything when she acted up, ruffling her hair as she turned her attention to the little brunette. "Hi Gigi, are you Crystal's friend. I'm her mama but you can call me Jan sweetie." she said, making sure to keep her tone soft as she greeted the teary child. "Hi Crystal is my best friend" she replied, pouting until the redhead intertwined their fingers. They sat on the bench for ten minutes, the girls begging Jan to sing them Disney songs. The blonde belted her way through be our guest just to watch the girls smile. She couldn't be happier Crystal had made a friend, she knew she would her baby was too kind to ignore if she said so herself. Briefly wondering if she was conceited until she watched Crystal take her favourite strawberry hair slide and clip it in Gigi's bangs. Nope her girl was the sweetest and you could not convince her otherwise. The clacking of stilettos against asphalt caught the trio’s attention, Gigi bolted from the seat towards the stylish woman in her tailored suit. Jan smiled nudging Crystal to get her bag and say her goodbyes. "Hello, sorry I'm Genevieve’s mother you must be Crystal's? Thank you for waiting with her." the woman said, sounding slightly out of breath as she spoke. "Oh, it’s no problem, gotta make sure Gigi stays safe right?" she awkwardly replied, keeping her attention fixed on the two girls hugging as the other woman blabbered on. Jan loved people but she hated small talk, if she wasn't being paid, she craved real conversation over vapidity, for the sake of politeness she grinned and bared it. "Well just Jan, we better be going, Genevieve has piano at five, but we'll have to arrange a play date soon. Come on dear we can't be late" she cooed dragging the little girl off towards the car. Jan shook her head, taking Crystal by the hand as they ran through the park on their way home. Crystal excitedly telling her about her day in all its gory details. Jan stopped walking, flinching at the word weird. "Birdy" she began "you are not weird okay. Different for sure but different is a magical, wonderful, beautiful thing okay? I wanna hear you say different is good. Can you do that for me?" The redhead nodded confused by her mother’s sudden severity, but she chirped "different is good" quickly hoping it meant she'd get a treat from the cafe nearby. Her wish granted when Jan bought them both milkshakes for the walk home. Crystal sipped her drink happily, skipping the rest of the way to the apartment her sneakers squeaking against the tiles as she went. She wondered why her mommy cried when she came home giving her tighter squeezes than usual. She didn't complain when they let her choose dinner and she certainly didn't complain when Jackie gave her brownie's for dessert. Snuggled up in her bed with ugly birdy she could hear her mommies talking. She listened in making out mama's voice "Jackie, she'll be fine she made friends already one bad kid won't ruin it for her I promise gorge. Now shut your brain off and come kiss me." She craned her head listening out for mommy between the gross kissy noises she'd grown to hate "You're right. I just can't bear the thought of her crying like that. It makes me mad Jan what if I...okay I get it no more brain talk tonight okay princess." She laid back against her pillow a soft sleepy smile on her face, her mommies would not let Dahlia hurt her. She wasn't scared anymore she was excited to spend another day with her friends. She burrowed into the covers slipping into dreams of fighting the evil Dh-monster with the mighty lady Widow to save the three princesses from the tower. When Jackie checked in on her, she felt her heart melt at the soft smile playing on her lips. Monet was right she'd be more than okay.  
....  
Two weeks after starting school Crystal ran to the playground tackling Heidi into the tightest hug. Miss West could hardly believe her eyes that the crying little thing sniffling in the sick bay had grown so confident so quickly. Crystal wheezed as she felt Widow, Rock and Gigi jump on top of them screeching "dog pile" at the top of their lungs. Widow's friends Vixen and Monique occasionally joining in much to Crystal's dismay. She lay on her back her friends giggling around her as she looked up at the sky. "Hey Rock?" She turned to her friend "yeah?" "Tell us the orange joke again" she said earning groans from the older girls as the youngest three crowded Rock cheering her on with bated breath. "Knock knock" "whose there?!" "Orange" "Orange who?!" "Orange you glad I didn't say banana!" she chirped smiling brightly as her friends fell to the floor in fits of laughter. Crystal was happy. She was really happy she still didn't like big groups, she still found kids scary but with Gigi, Rock, Widow and Heidi by her side the world seemed much better. As she gazed up at the sky the sun seemed to glimmer brighter, as if nodding its head. The universe almost stilled for a moment, basking the Manhattan skyline in a rich golden glow. The girls below played in harmony, tackling each other to the ground playfully as the clouds drifted by. Crystal couldn't help but remember what her Auntie Pepper had told her, that as long as people were kind the sun would always shine brighter.


	4. Jackie what the hell It's 2am?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie gets called into work, dragging Jan with her for a night. Nicky and Jaida get to babysit but Nicky is seriously jealous of a five year-old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments updates might be a little slower but I'm still working on it!

It was two in the morning when Jackie's phone rang, waking her from her pleasant dream. She had been about to shake Spock's hand as Captain Kirk introduced her to the Crew when Madonna's Like a Virgin blared through the apartment. She tried to ignore it, but the caller seemed to be persistent relentlessly calling until she felt a pillow whack her across the face. A gruff sounding Jan groaning "Get up and answer it I wanna sleep Jacqueline." from beside her. Jackie reluctantly answered wishing she hadn't. It was Dusty her friend from Staten Island the woman frantically apologising as Jackie tried to wake herself up enough to pay attention. "Dusty say it again?" she sighed "Acid's got laryngitis Jackie and her Understudy is stuck in Delaware for a wedding. Could you maybe convince Jan to stand in for a night? It'd only be one night, and you know she plays Audrey well. I'll throw in a cocktail party and a honeymoon suit if you do it." Jackie rubbed her eyes mumbling "I'll try it but no promises" hanging up quickly, wrapping her long limbs back round her wife. Snuggling into her shoulder as the blissful grip of sleep took hold of her once again. When she woke the second time at a much more reasonable hour she leaned against the doorway explaining the situation to Jan. "Jacks I'd love to but what would we do with birdy gorge?" she asked gesturing to the girl balancing her barbies on the balcony ledge singing what sounded to be off key Britney Spears. Jackie pondered for a moment "ask in the group chat maybe Pepper will take her" she mused. It was Friday so it was unlikely, but she'd hate to leave Dusty hanging like this, she'd helped her fill her own cast before the least she could do was to return the favour. Jan typed on her phone, acrylics tapping at the screen as she packed Crystal's backpack with her free hand.   
Over breakfast they watched the messages pour in, chuckling at their friend’s antics.

7:45 living in a Janisty land: Good morning bitches! last minute I know but can anyone take Crys tonight me and Jacks had something come up x  
7:46 Oh, the FrAcKinG: Sorry bb Trinity's got me booked up tonight.  
SpongeBoobSquareBitch: Bob's taking us out sorry girl!   
7:54: Look Over there: ME I WANT THE BABY GIVE ME THE BABY  
7:55: Salope: She's rolling around on the bed screaming. Smh :*   
7:59 Daddy Cox: We have a winner Jaida message me later I'll fill you in.  
8:01 Salope: Bring wine as payment.  
Jackie huffed "She better not drink around baby Cox here." Knowing full well Crystal had a habit of stealing drinks, anything colourful finding its way into her little hands the second your head was turned. It had taken three disappearing smoothies to magically migrate to the kid's bedroom before she realised it was intentional. "Jackie relax your brain is stressing me out it'll all be okay" Jan simpered, kicking the brunette gently under the table. Her foot resting on her thigh, tracing little circles on the exposed skin. Jackie nearly choked on her coffee; Jan ignored her but the coy smile on her lips confirmed she knew exactly what she was doing. Jackie chose to ignore her wife focusing her attention on Crystal, "baby are you excited for your sleepover at Auntie Jaida's?" she asked, wincing slightly as she pulled a chunk of melon from the girl’s curls. "Yeah! Can I bring Vodka mommy?" Jan burst into fits of hysterics while Jackie cursed Nicky under her breath. The girl had grown attached to an oversized sheep toy her aunts had gotten her, and Nicky unceremoniously named the thing after the first item she saw. Vodka turned heads in many awkward situations, Miss West had even emailed home concerned leaving Jackie once again to clear up the mess. "Vodka can come with baby, Auntie Nicky's sheep would love a friend for the night" Jan cooed, pulling the girl onto her lap as she worked her way through her hair. Jackie grabbed her backpack, kissing Jan goodbye and scooping Crystal up into a princess carry "C'mon birdy you have school and mama should be getting ready for her vocal lessons" she teased tickling the redhead as she carried her to the door. Jan watched them leave shaking her head slightly. Nicky was responsible sometimes and Jaida was great with Crystal she didn't know what Jackie could possibly be worrying about when they'd have a room all to themselves. She squealed at the thought, it was a win win, Crys got bonding time with her favourite aunties and Jan got bonding time with her favourite lady. She slinked to the bedroom looking through her dresses, daydreaming about the fun she'd have later as she hummed her way through Suddenly Seymour. Tonight, would be great she could feel it in her bones.  
....  
Jackie was feeling much less confident standing outside Jaida's apartment. She held Jan's hand tightly with her left and Crystal's with her right. She couldn't help but stare at the blonde as they waited, her hair perfectly curled in a 60's updo, her makeup flawless and the little cheetah print dress clung perfectly to her figure. Maybe Jan was right, she needed to relax and Dusty had been kind enough to give them an all expenses night-out. Letting her hair down once in a while couldn't be too bad surely, right? The door swung open revealing a tired looking Nicky, leaned against the doorframe "hello babies, you coming in or just the little queen?" she cooed, raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at Jackie. "We're good thanks for the offer though Nicky" Jackie said watching Jan hand her the wine bottle they'd promised. "You got my text earlier? She's a real gremlin Nicky don't feed her too late" Jackie joked awkwardly, kissing the girl goodbye as the redhead launched herself onto Nicky's leg. "Be good baby mama loves you kitten, thanks again Nicky!" Jan called dragging Jackie away quickly before she could change her mind. "Ready gorge?" she teased kissing Jackie's throat, leaving a cherry red stain against her golden skin. Jackie hesitated stepping into the car, pondering for a moment as Jan's hand rubbed gently at her thigh "ah fuck it, Let’s do this angel." The couple grinned, laughing and flirting for the entire journey Jackie needed this but she didn't realise how much until now. She wondered for a second how the girls were fairing but lost her train of thought as she gazed into her wife's stormy blue eyes.  
....  
Nicky loved Crystal she really did but watching Jaida interact with the girl made her want to puke, rip her heart and hair out all at the same time. They were cute sickeningly so, her partner pressing fake tattoos gently against the girl’s skin whispering about the glittery patterns that hid beneath the paper. She looked so very happy, but Nicky felt awful, she was jealous of a five-year-old. She craved attention, Jaida had been fawning over the girl all day to her friends, giving Nicky less attention than she would have wanted. Nicky shook her head watching the girls from her spot in the kitchen, Jaida's beautiful smile holding her thoughts captive. "Baby girl, you ready to see your awesome new tattoo?" she asked, her voice honey sweet as her eyes sparkled with glee. "Yeah! I wanna see auntie please!" she turned her attention to the tiny creature sat before her, bouncing excitedly with a grin so bright it threatened the stars. She padded over behind Jaida, pouncing onto her shoulders with a loud "boo." Jaida screamed, slapping her playfully "see she bullies me Cryssy what a meanie" she pouted, kissing Nicky softly on the lips. "I'm not a meanie don't you listen to the pretty lady birdy she's making up stories again" she teased poking her tongue out, enamoured as Jaida's smile grew wider. She delighted in every little wrinkle that appeared by her eyes, the smile lines in her cheek and the overall radiance of the girl when she was happy. The three ended up tickling each-other, smothered in glittery fake tattoos. They settled on the couch watching Jaida's favourite Mandalorian episodes, the girl squealing at baby Yoda whenever he appeared. Her long hair tickling Nicky's shoulder as she laughed. They'd ordered pizza and devoured most of it, Crystal begging her aunties for dessert with puppy dog eyes. "Alright sweetie dessert then we're gonna read your story okay?" Jaida soothed, booping her niece on the nose. She nodded, curling up into her aunts’ side, Nicky once again felt a pang of jealousy. Jaida was too loveable for her own good she was hers and she didn't want to share. Nicky hated sweets but the fondant Jaida had chosen was her favourite, she appreciated it greatly. "See baby when you're old enough you can come visit France with us. Me and auntie Nicky go every year and its very pretty" she said, brushing the curls back from Crystal's face. "Not quite as pretty as you but still very nice" Nicky added, placing a quick kiss on her shoulder. "Now you're sweet talking me? Cute baby real cute" she grinned kissing Nicky back. Crystal sat watching them for a moment, listening to their banter quietly until she heard her favourite word uttered. "Bitch?" she said innocently, green eyes meeting shocked grey and amber. The room grew silent for a moment filling quickly with laughter "Crys you can't say that baby at least not in front of your mama she'll kill me" Jaida wheezed pinching the girls cheeks as she grinned up at the older woman. The night began to wind down, Jaida reading Howls moving Castle in the dim lamp light had them drifting in and out of sleep. By midnight, all three were sleeping draped over the couch, Nicky's arms possessively braced around Jaida and Crystal tucked into Jaida's embrace. The starlight from the windows basking them in a sickly-sweet yellow glow as the world slowly drifted by.  
.....  
Nicky woke at three in the morning to an unintelligible noise. She gently untangled herself from Jaida, grabbing for a weapon her hands finding an ashtray as she approached the sound. She was about to throw it as her eyes were adjusting, stopping as she noticed the huddled outline of a small human backed up into the corner. "Crystal?" she whispered, nearing the girl as her sobs became clearer. She dropped the tray quickly scooping the girl up into a tight squeeze. She fumbled her way through the dark to the balcony careful not to wake Jaida with her movements. "Why are you crying my love?" she asked, gently rubbing small circles around the girls back. "'M scared auntie. My tummy hurts" she whined snuggling into the French woman's embrace. "Do you need the bathroom baby" she frantically asked, hoping the girl wouldn't vomit anywhere. She relaxed when she shook her head, turning her face towards the blonde her eyes clouding with tears. "N-no my ...tummy hurts...my uh...um I wan....mommy" she pleaded, crying harder into her chest. Nicky paused for a second, hoping her morning brain would kick in already. She was about to call Jackie when it dawned on her, Crystal truly was a Cox she thought fondly shaking her head. "Crystal take some deep breathes for me, lets get Vodka and we can cuddle out here okay?" Nicky quickly grabbed the sheep from the coffee table cringing slightly as Jaida stirred. She ran back outside careful to make as little noise as she could. She sat on the battered box turned seat cradling the child in her arms, guilt panging at her chest as she cried. "Angel it’s okay, it’s okay nothing’s going to happen you're fine" she pleaded hoping Crystal would calm down soon. The girl stared up at Nicky her cries turning to little hiccups as she clung to her chest. "Love you auntie" she sniffled burying her head into the Parisian’s chest, the woman couldn't help the smile that spread across her cheeks. A wicked idea forming in her brain as she held her "I love you biiiiiiitch I'm never gonna stop loving you biiiiiiiitch" she sang watching the redheads face light up. They stayed in their seat singing terribly until the sun came up. Neither could be bothered to move so they slept in the warm summer heat. Nicky's arms protectively braced around her niece as the girl rest her head on Nicky's shoulder.  
.....  
"Nicky you moron get up you're fucking cooking out here" Jaida snickered, the blonde waking up in a start as she felt water splash onto her face. "What the hell Jaida?!" she yelled launching herself at her partner, wiping the water off onto her pyjama's in the process. The pair laughing softly, sharing kisses in each other’s embrace. "Good morning to you too" Nicky simpered leaving trails of kisses up the girl’s neck. Jaida's soft brown eyes resting on her nose and kissing the freckles that peppered her cheeks. "C'mon get dressed I'm gonna spook Jackie, Jan said I could." she grinned mischievously. Nicky led the way back into the apartment, staring at toddler before her. The girl was wearing one of Jaida's creations a cute paisley swing dress tied with a green bow. She looked precious and she knew that meant Jaida was scheming. "Whatever it is I'm in" she yelled rushing to get dressed. One of Jaida and Nicky's favourite pastimes was annoying Jackie, she never failed to rise to their taunts making the payoff even more fun. She hummed in delight kneeling down in front of the girl, picking up a dinosaur and making t-rex noises. "Hey Cryssy" she said in a stupid cartoony voice that made Nicky screech from the bedroom. "How do you feel about earrings?"   
.....  
Jackie and Jan came to collect the girl at 3:30 Nicky having pleaded for extra time with the girl and Jan pleading for extra time with her wife. Their night was magical and for once Jackie felt at ease, leaning her head on the shorter girl’s shoulder listening to presumably Nicky fumble the lock and whine for assistance. The couple stood at the door greeting them warmly asking if they wanted to hang out. Jackie politely declined, she was still tired and the four were due to go clubbing on Thursday anyway. Pepper was taking the girls out bowling for Widow's birthday. They handed Crystal to her parents with a soppy goodbye Jaida promising to bring the girl out shopping again in the near future while Nicky hummed their new special song. The walk back was quiet for the most part until Jackie caught a glimpse of metal sparkling in the sunlight. She pushed Crystal's curls back from her face, almost swallowing her tongue when she spotted a little daisy shaped stud staring back at her. "Oh my god baby please tell me those are fake" she pleaded glancing at Jan who flashed her a shit eating grin. "No mommy they're real it hurt for a bit but Auntie Jadia got me ice cream and auntie Nicky got me gummy bears so it’s okay" she squealed. Jackie took in the information slowly, sighing knowing a sugar rush was imminent, she kept her eyes on the road tutting her friends fondly. She’d talked about piercings with Jan before knowing the blonde wanted to get their daughters ears pierced. Jackie had a sneaky suspicion Jan was behind it but shrugged it off it could wait until later. She noticed the small girl humming something she hadn't heard before wondering if Nicky had played her something French. The blonde however seemed to recognise it trying her hardest not to crack up. "Cryssy what are you singing?" She asked before Jan could stop her. Jackie's face fell as the loud, high pitched voice carried through the streets of Hell’s Kitchen "I love you biiiiiiiiitch I'm never gonna stop loving you biiiiiiitch." As Jan caved into hysterics Jackie made a mental note to murder her best friends later. They loved her daughter sure, but their cool aunt status might have to be demoted to cool idiot friends. She couldn't be made though she thought, joining in with the laughter as the trio walked hand in hand. The bitch song reverberating through the streets as they went.


	5. Jan honey, its 3am.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie is the pessimist, Jan is the optimist. But nobody can be sunshine and rainbows all the time. Jan has a reflective moment in the early morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and to those leaving comments really glad to see people are enjoying this little AU I've created. More coming soon, stay safe.

Jackie and Jan were polar opposites, but they worked well together. Jackie is an over thinker, Jan is impulsive, Jackie is a bit of a pessimist whereas Jan is an optimist, Jackie hated winter and Jan adored it. It was simple enough for their friends to label Jan as the happy one, but people are never simple. Jan prided herself in her happy go lucky image, living to make her friends and family smile, their smiles brought her joy, but she’d be lying I she didn’t have her sad moments. Tonight, was one of those nights, she sat on the balcony, her feet pulled up to her chest as she looked out onto the quiet streets below. The streetlights illuminating the shadowy corners almost mimicked her own mind. It was her birthday, she was happy really, but birthdays were a time of reflection for Jan. She liked to sit and think about her past, bad memories seeming to float across the surface of her mind trickling down into happier ones. She let her hair down from its ponytail, the cool night air calming against her overheated skin. she stood up padding softly across the living room towards the bedroom, standing in the doorway. She looked over at Jackie sleeping softly, the older woman curled on her side hugging a pillow with a severe expression. The sight brought a smile to her face, even in sleep her Jacqueline could look so serious, it was endearing really. She’d never admit it but Jackie grounded her as much as she grounded Jackie, her gentle words and soft touches guided the racing thoughts that floated around her head and invited them to settle into cohesive ideas. She stepped towards the bed until a small squeak caught her attention, she quickly turned on her heels padding softly towards the yellow room at the end of the hall. She peeked her head round finding Crystal sound asleep, the girl squirming fitfully with her eyes shut. She hoped it wasn’t a nightmare, Crystal hadn’t had those in such a long time. Jan sat gently at the foot of the girl’s bed, running her fingers through the auburn strands. Jan scanned her eyes across the girl’s face, the soft freckles, the tiny little dimples in her cheeks to her cute button nose. Sometimes she wondered what her birth parents looked like, how they could possibly give away such a sweet angel. But she checked herself, it was judgemental of her to assume they wanted to, and she should be glad she had the opportunity to meet her. Crystal was her baby, hers, hers and Jackie’s and nobody could take that from her she reminded herself. The girl had grown so much in the short time they’d known her, and Jan couldn’t be prouder, but her thoughts did sometimes wander to the skittish child she’d met the year before. She shook her head shutting her eyes and letting her fingers card through the sift tresses. She felt her mind wander, but was too tired to care, she stood up before she could fall asleep, seating herself on the couch with a clear view of her daughter’s room. She slumped back against the pillows hoping sleep would come soon.  
….  
Jan rarely worked middle slots, they annoyed her. A late slot let her sleep and be back for breakfast with Jackie and an early slot let her sleep the night away. But the middle was garbage, sure the tips were slightly better but she Lagoona and Rose always got the best money. She leaned against the bar, watching the blue haired goddess chat up another boy and Rose flirt with the bartender. She loved her girls but in that moment, she loved her bed more. “Alright babes I’m gonna head out, love you!” Jan called across the music, Lagoona grabbing her hand and practically dragging her to the smoking area. Rose trotted behind her heels tapping against the sticky club floor her hips swaying to the upbeat music as she walked. Lagoona pulled the shorter woman in for a tight hug “Jannie do you need an uber? Please don’t walk if you don’t have to.” the eldest pleaded. “That’s expensive Goona I’ll be fine let me walk!” she chuckled playfully hitting the blue haired woman on the shoulder as Rose draped herself around their shoulders. “She’ll be good Goona! Let the girl walk, I wanna walk back in that club and get me that boy.” She chuckled earning her a slap on the ass from the eldest. “Get your mind out of the gutter for two seconds please Ro!” she said laughing and blowing kisses as she dragged the pink haired girl back inside. Jan slung her bag over her shoulder setting off on her walk, she’d regret not bringing lats in the morning but in that moment she didn’t care. She loved New York at night, in the darkness the city really came to life, the dim twinkling lights of the theatres shining down on the pavement, the smell of fresh coffee from the late night diners and the sound of drunken girls singing brought her peace. She crossed the road jumping at the sound of horns blaring and incoherent yelling. She would have kept walking if it wasn’t for the high-pitch yelp that followed. She walked towards the cab were it had stopped to find an older man yelling at what looked to be his kid. “Hey buddy don’t yell at her like that she’s a little kid the fuck is your problem?” she hissed, looking him up and down. “This little shit just ran out into the road I nearly killed the little SOB” he huffed angrily getting back into the car and driving away, his tires screeching against the road as he sped off. Jan froze, lifting the crying girl from her place on the road and walking her gently over to the sidewalk. She placed the girl down keeping her hands on her shoulder’s and hoping some bastard cop didn’t pass by to give her grief. “Hi sweetie, are you lost?” she cooed, surprised when the child flinched at the sound of her voice. She shook her head, looking up at the blonde, her eyes brimming with tears. “Where’s your mommy baby? Or daddy?” she tried, rubbing little circles on the child’s back in an effort to get her to stop crying. Jan could pinpoint the second her heart broke, when the girl mumbled “I don’t have,” tilting her head down to look at her beat up sneakers. Jackie always told her, “her heart was too big”, she never really questioned it until she scooped up a kid she’d known for all of ten seconds and held her in her arms. She comforted the girl until the tears stopped, breaking the comfortable silence with a soft “oh angel I’m so sorry honey, where do you live baby?” The girl shook her head mumbling “mean house” under her breath. She knew she should have stopped; she knew she should have called the police but her legs carried her before her brain could rationalise what she was doing. “Angel do you want to stay with me for tonight?” she asked, feeling the trembles that wracked through her tiny body as she carried her. The little red head nodded, snuggling up to the blonde to steal whatever body heat she provided. “Do you have a name cutie? I’m Jan” she asked hurrying her pace, eager to get the little thing out of the cold. She knew she was in way too deep when she caught sight of the kid’s deep forest green eyes and heard the sweet little voice mumble “Crystal.” The kid was cute, she couldn’t blame herself but she knew Jackie would go nuts when she saw her. She pulled her keys from her pocket opening the door and placing the girl down on the heated wood floor. She paused trying to figure out what she should do, call the police, CPS? She quickly googled the numbers finding CPS to be closed and trusting her gut more than she trusted the cops, she decided the girl would stay here. That was until she heard the unmistakably gruff voice of her wife yelling “Janice Mantione Cox what the ever-loving fuck?” She’d make it up to Jackie in the morning she swore it but for that moment she didn’t care what the world thought she knew she had done the right thing. Her heart swelled watching the girl as she recounted the events, hoping somewhere in the back of her mind everything could work out. She knew getting her hopes up was a bad idea at the time, but Jan also was aware once she had her eyes set on something she would never let it go.  
…..  
She woke up looking over at the clock, it was only four in the morning she sighed as she leaned back once again. Her mind was once again racing, reliving every small detail from her dream. She knew in her heart it was stupid to dwell on things, it was a year ago and the Crystal, her Crystal she had now was nothing like the scared little baby she brought through the threshold. Instead her girl was bright, sunny, seemingly a perfect mixture between Jan and Jackie without even trying to be. Their goofy little baby brought her such joy, so why was she crying? Noticing the small tear drops staining her shirt she turned to the mirror, were they sad tears? Happy? Would life always be this sweet to her or would it torment her by taking away something she loved this year? Her birthday had a habit of being one of her best moments or one of her worst, her mind flashing through, breakups, heartbreak, finding the love of her life, the proposal, that one time she went swimming with dolphins for her fifteenth to her father’s unfortunate passing on her seventeenth. Her birthday had a way of messing with her brain, she feared loss, she feared rejection and she had come to fear the day of her birth as it coincided with so man cases of both. She leaned back on the couch hoping her tears wouldn’t wake her girls, falling back into a fit-fall sleep and praying to whatever deity would listen that this birthday would treat her well. She woke for a second time that morning with a start, jolting forward only to be restrained by strong arms, she nearly panicked until she noticed the soft smell of Jasmine and deep breaths that could only belong to Jackie. She looked up finding herself in the brunettes’ arms, the older woman carrying her a dopey smile spread across her face. “Jannifer if you didn’t want to sleep with me you could have just told me angel.” She teased, pulling the girl upright. Jan sat in her wife’s arms, subconsciously wrapping her legs around the older woman’s waist, she breathed in her wife’s scent pressing her head into Jackie’s shoulder. The older woman tangled her hands through the blonde strands, she knew how much Jan dreaded June 11th just as much as she welcomed it. She tightened her grip on the blonde, peppering kisses down her neck “Baby, twenty four is going to be great don’t you worry one little bit I promise” she whispered, pressing the shorter woman’s back against the wall as she kissed her passionately. Their tongues danced, fighting occasionally but the kiss was tender, reassuring, like the orange hued light that bathed the room. She pulled away Jan squeaking out a quick “thanks gorge” as the brunette let her down. She wrapped her arms round the blonde’s waist again, biting her earlobe and whispering, “I got you cheesecake factory for breakfast don’t argue go enjoy your pancakes.” The blonde’s face lit up as she bounced excitedly on her heels, Jackie swore between her and Crystal she may as well have two puppies living with her. They walked over to the table, where Crystal sat waiting, the little red head dressed nicely in one of Jaida’s constructions, a poorly wrapped purple object sitting in front of her. She bolted from her seat at the sight of her parents, launching herself onto the blonde squealing “Happy birthday mama, Happy birthday!” as she wrapped her little arms around the blonde’s neck. “They ate happily, Jan sat on Jackie’s lap with Crystal in her own, it was too hot for it really and their thighs stuck together with sweat, but none of them cared. Jan opened her presents in comfortable silence, a purple glittery backpack from Crystal and a set of earrings from Jackie. She smiled, sitting on the couch answering as many dm’s as she could with well wishes until Jackie took the phone from her hand. Jan’s breath hitched as she looked at her wife, dressed it a tight-fitting maroon A-line, she was the picture of beauty, she wanted to comment but all her brain could supply in that moment was “wow.” Jackie chuckled pushing the girl to the bedroom “open the box on the bed and put it on baby, no questions just put it on, keep your hair down.” she simpered pressing a quick kiss to the blondes shoulders. When Jan re-emerged from their bedroom it was Jackie’s turn to choke. The blonde looked divine in the little white bodycon, her long hair falling in waves like honey against her neck, she wore the earrings Jackie had given her this morning with her makeup perfect as usual. Jackie’s heart swelled when she noticed the tacky little rainbow bead necklace adorning her throat, Crystal had made them one each at school, it looked cheap as hell to the outside world but Jan made the little plastic beads look like they belonged on the cover of Vogue. “Wow” Jackie said pulling her wife into a hug, ushering the girl out the door as Crystal trailed behind humming and kicking her feet. The drive was short, Jackie covering the girl’s eyes with her hands until they were inside. When she removed her hands Jan swore she would have cried if it hadn’t been for the eyeliner she spent too damn long perfecting. Her friends and family crowded round the table of her favourite karaoke place, a cute handmade purple sign reading “Happy Birthday Jan” in the centre. She hugged them all in turn, earning slaps on the shoulders from Jaida and Rose, slaps on the ass from Bob, Lagoona and Nicky and an accidental kick in the shin from an over excited Widow. She gazed around at the faces that meant the world to her before settling on her mother. Alexis pulled the blonde into a tight squeeze, signalling to Jackie to start the others off. She waited until Pepper, Monet and Nicky were screaming bang bang into the mic before she turned to face the blonde. “Jannie baby, I’m so proud of you angel, so-so proud promise me you won’t cry and I’ll give you your extra gift, before you ask baby no it can’t wait.” she said softly gripping her daughters’ hand. Jan nodded, expecting the cream coloured envelope with the familiar writing on the front, tears pricked the corner’s but she wouldn’t let them fall. She opened the letter pressing into her mother’s side as she read, holding the smaller pink envelope in her hands with a smile.

Dear Jannie-bee,  
Congratulations baby if you’re reading this, you’re a mommy now! Maybe you have been for a whole year, but I told momma to save it for your birthday since I know you love presents. My angel you have nothing to fear, you are so kind and caring any little girl would be lucky to have you for a mom. Don’t ask me how I know you have a girl, dad’s intuition, if it’s a boy than again dad’s intuition the power of dad-ness is never knowing if you’re right or not but playing it off with confidence. I pass this off to you my only girl as the power to torment your own baby. Rest your mind and follow your dreams Janice, I know you’ll be fine trust me on that one. Now I’d be a terrible dad if I didn’t give you any advice so here are Daddy’s top three tips on great parenthood (At least I hope so):  
1.) Spend time with your baby, whether its teaching them to ride a bike or singing in the rain. Make sure you create memories like the ones we have that baby sport will appreciate forever.  
2.) Let them cry and hold them tight when they do. Emotions are wonderful things Jan, I know you might well be crying please don’t smudge that pretty makeup of yours.  
3.) Have fun kiddo, I know I did every day I had you.  
So happy birthday Jan my doll, know that I will always love you and always be with you. I’ve written a letter for little baby too with a blank space for whatever name you picked. I hope your mom didn’t pressure you into Alexis II, if she tries I hope your girl has a better sense than to let her.  
Big kisses love you forever and a day, Dad

The blonde wrapped her arms around her mother smiling softly, “Mom I love you so much, I miss him.” She whispered. The ginger woman patted her back quickly “I love you too Jannie I miss him as well, now no more tears on your special day. Why don’t we sing that one Liza song your momma loves, give an old woman a good time?” she chuckled dragging the blonde up to the microphones. As they sung Jan gazed round at her friends smiling faces, her eyes landing on Jackie and Crystal as she beamed. This birthday was a good one, she’d remember forever. She leaned forward hitting a high note as her friends cheered her on, the sounds carrying out into the streets of Hell’s Kitchen. They drank and sang into the late evening, the adults screeching until their voices were hoarse. Crystal and Widow had set up camp under the table, coming out to sing the occasional Disney song before retreating back to their den with snacks they had stolen from the table. As the sun started to set, Nicky came forward bringing out a lavender tinted cake teeming with candles in all shades of purple. The sound of a somewhat in tune happy birthday filled the air as all eyes turned to the short blonde with the brightest smile in New York. Jan closed her eyes and blew out the candle, if you ask her what she wished for she’d never tell you, but she wished to have many more birthdays just like this one.


	6. Cryssy baby, its 6pm.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystal, Heidi, Gigi and Rock climb trees in a park. Te girls get a day out but Jan can't help felling that something's gonna go wrong. Either her gut is trying to tell her something or that ice coffee had way too much milk. in it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and Kudos guys! Hope you're safe and enjoying the fic!  
> Next chapter expect oblivious Jackie and jealous Jan ^-^

It was early Saturday afternoon as they walked through Central Park, Jackie offering to buy cold drinks as the sun bore down on the three of them. Crystal loved Central Park, she loved the lush grass, the big trees and she loved the Diana Ross playground the most. Jackie played her music anytime they actually drove; the little girl was fascinated from the first time she heard endless love. She bounced on her toes humming the tune looking across the grass hoping to spot her friends. She watched the little birds flit around the trees, chasing each-others tails listening to the soft sounds of people round her for once completely calm. “Cryssy baby come to mommy” Jackie called holding her hand out for the redhead, the girl ran full pelt into her mother gripping onto the hand uttering a polite “Yes mommy?” Jackie rolled her eyes, catching Jan snickering from the corners of her vision, Crystal was her most polite when she wanted something. Jackie could not fault the girl, she was very rarely bad, just loud, much like her mother. She ruffled the redhead’s curls asking, “what milkshake do you want baby, no coffee.” The girl paused, her face screwed up as she thought, Jan quickly pulled her phone out to take a photo, she loved Crystal’s thinking face more than most things in the world. Jackie bit her tongue as sweet green eyes met her own hazel, “hmm Chocolate with sprinkles please mommy” the girl cooed Jackie was going to tease her, but the barista cut her off “Aren’t you the cutest little thing, let me get you a cookie on the house!” Jackie rolled her eyes slightly thanking the girl, paying quickly dragging the girls out behind her. “Crys usually we don’t take things from strangers’ sweetie, remember that okay? But the nice lady wouldn’t put anything mean in a cookie I’m sure.” Jackie chuckled, holding the little hand in her won as they walked.   
The playground was full, kids climbing all over every possible surface, screaming and yelling. Jan knelt to squeeze Crystal’s shoulders reassuringly, a smile flickering across her lips as she felt her small shoulders relax against her palm. “Honey if you get scared what do you do?” she asked brushing the soft girls from her face. “I yell for you or wave my hands if my voice doesn’t want to work.” She replied squeezing Jackie’s arms gently, for a moment Jackie swore it was Crystal comforting her and not the other way around. She brushed it off kissing the girl gently on the head, watching her tear of in Gigi’s direction. The little brunette sat on the swing, kicking her legs awkwardly to get height. Crystal against her better judgement ran up behind the girl and began to push her swing singing her name off key. Gigi’s terrified scream quickly became hysterical laughter as she soared through the air in her mind. She pleaded with Crystal to stop, the redhead falling back quickly waiting for her friend to come to a halt. Gigi hoped off the swing wrapping her arms tightly round the shorter girl “Cryssy you’re here” she squealed, squeezing the girl tighter in her excitement. Both flinched as second pair of arms wrapped themselves around them, Crystal squealed quickly noticing the orange flower perfume Heidi would steal from her mother’s table. “Heidi’s here!” she yelled, the girls shifting to hug each-other properly, ignoring the world around them. They played on the jungle-gym, in the sandbox and on the see-saw before Rock made an appearance. It was Rock, dressed in her favourite neon pink sailor moon hoodie who suggested they sneak off to the big park. Heidi and Gigi nodded quickly agreeing that a big adventure would be fun but Crystal hesitated. “I gotta tell mommy guys, she’ll get scared if she doesn’t know where I am.” She mumbled, scared her friends would take her to be a spoil sport, usually it was Widow who convinced her to break rules, she felt safe knowing the older girl was there. Heidi’s gentle pats, Gigi’s promises of “Nothing will happen, and we can tell your mommy we’re gonna play by the trees? She won’t mind right?” and Rock convincing her that it wasn’t lying because they didn’t say what trees it would be.   
Crystal nodded sauntering back over to her parents on the bench with her sweetest smile plastered on her lips. “What do you want baby I know that look” Jan asked, cocking an eyebrow in amusement. “Mama can we play by the trees please?” she asked pointing to the closest trees she could find. Jan was about to object but Jackie beat her too it squeezing her knee as she spoke. “Crystal, you’re a big girl now you can play in the trees but stay very close where me and Mama can see you okay?” The redhead nodded, about to run off towards her friends, she let a gentle manicured hand wrap around her arm before she could go. “Baby girl, take this with you please? If anything, bad or scary happens press the red button and you can talk to me or mommy” Jan pleaded, her voice sweet as molasses but dripping in fear. Crystal nodded, taking the pink glittery walkie talkie with glee and strapping it to her belt “I’ll be real good I promise mama!” The couple watched her go, Jan’s breath hitched as Jackie rubbed her shoulders “She’ll be fine babe, we have to let her grow a little, look how brave she is.” She soothed. Jan nodded pressing herself into Jackie’s side, trying to ignore her gut. Something told her that this was a bad idea, that something bad might happen but she chalked it up to too much coffee and not enough food as she snuggled into Jackie’s side, listening to the gentle heartbeat.  
……..  
The girls wandered through the park, talking amongst themselves as the trudged through grass. Gigi was doing cartwheels to impress the others grinning as they cheered her on. Crystal was having fun laughing and giggling with the others, but she refused to let go of Heidi’s hand. Heidi was the brightest of the group, her sweet soul and unique personality were perfect in every way. Crystal bent down to collect daisies as they went, expertly weaving them into a flower crown. “Heidi close your eyes” she giggled, “You’re not gonna be mean right? Widow put a bug in my hair last time” the shorter girl whined her sweet eyes wide with fear. Crystal promised her, waiting for the shorter girl to close her eyes as she carefully placed the crown on her head, making sure to avoid knocking the girl’s bun out of place. Heidi quickly opened her eyes reaching up to swat away any gross things until she felt the soft petals of the daisy brush against her little fingers. “Crys! Flowers?” she beamed, pulling the redhead in for a hug, “flowers for the prettiest girl in the world Heidi!” she giggled, dragging the beaming girl behind her to catch up with the others. Crystal vowed to tell Heidi she was beautiful every day she saw her, she knew Gigi had called her ugly once as a joke. The brunette didn’t mean to be nasty, but Crystal noticed it, it had stuck with Heidi swirling around her head like a serpent. It was her job as the brave lady knight to stop all bad thoughts from ever reaching any of her three pretty princesses, she told herself. Her mothers called it “en-deer-ing” whatever that meant.   
The two quickly caught up to their faster friends, Rock suggesting they climb one of the trees. Bouncing on her toes as she inspected the branches for the best one. Her dad took her out rock climbing on the weekends, she loved the feel of the wind in her hair and the adrenaline rush she got from the height. She told her friends about it most lunchtimes, the other three hooked on every word. Gigi jumped at a chance to experience the feeling herself, keeping hot on Rock’s heels. She held Crystal’s hand tightly in her own as she dragged her and subsequently Heidi behind her. Rock pointed at a tall oak, her hands resting proudly on her hips “This one is the best one! It has lots of holes for your feet!” she said triumphantly, starting to climb the knotted trunk. Gigi followed in Rock’s lead her little sandals slipping against the wood, but she managed to climb pretty high with no trouble. Next came Heidi, a little more fearful than Gigi but she was brave, and she was gonna show them! She clambered her way up the tree quickly, he was the shortest, so it took the most work, but Heidi was no quitter. She made her way up the tree in record speed sitting on a branch above Rock. The three called for Crystal to come up, the girl staring up at her friends with a blank expression. Crystal was scared, she could do it, even if she’d never done it before. She quickly pressed the button on her walkie-talkie “Mama? Mama its Cryssy” she said quietly, a crackly voice replying through the speaker made her jump a little “baby, mommy’s here are you okay?” Jackie’s voice soothing even in its distorted state “Yeah but we’re climbing trees, I’m going up now if I fall will you come get me?” she said. There was a brie pause before Jackie’s vice came through again “Of course baby, be careful.” She said, Crystal quickly clipped the walkie-talkie back to her belt, placing her hands on the scratchy bark in front of her.   
She climbed quickly, her feet finding their way up he gnarled branches easily, soon enough she sat just below Gigi giggling with her friends as Rock yelled “What took so long?!” The view from their spot was beautiful, she could see all the people down below, the flowers, the playpark and the birds as they swooped high in the sky. She relaxed against the branch, listening to Rock and Heidi fight about the best cartoon characters. The girls stayed in the tree for a while, talking, picking leaves and playing with each-other’s hair until a strong voice called out. Heidi’s mother was waiting at the bottom of the tree for the girl, Heidi clambered down first finding her way into her mother’s arms. The two embraced, Heidi’s mother gently calling “girls come on down your parents after waiting for you.” Rock sped down the tree, Crystal turned to climb down when she looked up at Gigi, tears falling down her flushed cheeks. “Geege? What’s wrong?” she asked holding her hand out for the taller girl. “’m scared Cryssy I don’t wanna look down ‘s scary.” She sobbed, covering her eyes with her hands. Crystal thought for a moment, turning her back to Gigi and smiling. “Hop on! Hang on tight and shut your eyes trust me Gigi!” she said, feeling the brunette’s warm hands wrap around her shoulders. Crystal climbed down quickly humming quietly to keep the girl on her back calm. They reached the bottom and Crystal gently placed her down on the floor. Gigi hugged her tightly whispering little thank yous in her ear, Crystal’s cheeks flared bright red as Gigi placed a friendly kiss on her cheek. The girls started walking back towards where their parents stood in the distance, some picking up speed, Crystal trailing behind. Unfortunately for her, the little redhead didn’t see the branch sticking out of the ground. She tried to catch herself, but her arms failed her as she fell flat on her face.  
…..  
Jackie stood with her hands round Jan’s hips watching the girls climb down the tree one by one, giggling as she noticed Gigi climbing down with Crystal’s sunflower print dress poking out from behind her. She kissed Jan’s head whispering softly “see, she’s fine baby. She’s coming then we can go get gelato and go home okay?” The blonde nodded kissing the brunette on the cheek as she watched the girls, then Crystal fell. The screech that pierced the air broke Jackie’s heart, she paused for a moment before running after the blonde towards their daughter. When she reached them, the blonde was cradling the little girl in her arms, hot tears streaming down her cheeks and kissing her forehead. Jackie bent down behind them placing her hand on Jan’s back when she heard it “no baby, open your mouth let mama see please.” Jackie looked on in horror as the girl opened her mouth a thick stream of blood pouring into Jan’s hand. Jan calmed, her tears stopped as she wiped her hand on her jeans, she scooped the redhead onto her lap as their friends approached. “Cryssy look, your baby tooth came out! Its okay, its okay, I promise it must have been a little wobbly honey.” Jackie relaxed slightly, staring down at the little white tooth in Jan’s palm. Crystal calmed down, snuggling into her mama as her friends patted her back and rubbed her arms. The girls went off to play for a little bit, but Crystal was still upset, even her favourite chocolate gelato didn’t cheer her up on the way home.   
At bedtime Crystal was still sniffly, she sat by her mirror looking at the gap in her mouth. Jan sat down on the edge of her bed as Jackie brought the girl over, dressed in her favourite purple monster onesie. Jackie sat down beside her wife, the redhead crawled into her lap, sniffling and burying her head into her t-shirt. “Hey birdy, what’s got you so sad hm? Jackie soothed, brushing through the curls with her fingers. The familiar teary green eyes staring up at her before a quivery little voice said, “I lost a tooth mommy I’m ugly.” Jan visibly tensed, wrapping her arms round the girl as Jackie held her close, sandwiching the little body between the pair of them. “Honey no way in hell are you ugly you’re so beautiful, you’re perfect angel, absolutely beautiful.” Jan said gently, almost humming as she spoke, the girl looked up at her a little smile quickly spread across her cheeks but fell just as fast. Jackie smiled, holding the little tooth in Crystal’s eyeline “you know baby you’re a lucky, lucky girl, you’re gonna get a visit from the tooth fairy.” The girl’s eyes lit up, her mouth falling into a perfect o as she breathed out “tooth fairy?” “yeah, the tooth fairy, she visits every good kid who brushes their teeth and brings them a present. She’ll take your tooth to her airy castle to help build the walls and leave you a dollar or two in its place” she said, her acting skills superseding her, the kid in her arms seemed hooked. “I’m gonna get a fairy visit?” the redhead yelled squirming in Jackie’s arms. “Gorge, you gotta go to sleep so the fairy can come” Jan added, “We put your tooth in a special bag under your pillow and then she’ll come overnight to take your tooth, that’s what grandma told me and you know she knows aaaaaaaaaaaall the fairies.” Crystal nodded climbing into bed as Jackie fished a jewellery bag out of her pocket placing the tooth inside before tucking it under her pillow. They kissed her good night, telling her she was beautiful, watching as their daughter yawned and shut her eyes. They left the room hand in hand, smiles on both of their faces. Their Crystal was just too sweet for the outside world.  
The next morning Jackie was awoken by a flash of purple jumping in and out of her line of sight. “Mommy she came she came!” a little voice yelled, waving a five-dollar bill in the air. Jackie smiled hugging her little gremlin and dragging her to the kitchen, her love of the girl only just beating out her desire for coffee. Before school Jan helped Crystal into one of her prettiest blue dresses, combing her hair into a ponytail and letting the girl throw on four necklaces. Her mothers swooned, telling her repeatedly she was beautiful until the girl told them to stop because she knew it. In class, Crystal’s fears were put to rest, nobody called her names (except Dahlia, but that always happened anyway) some of the kids telling her how cool her gap was. Aquaria in the year above even calling it chic. She was on top of the world, not even another tree branch could bring her mood down she told herself. She was the bravest night in all the kingdom who sacrificed her precious tooth to the fairy queen to make sure her favourite princesses stayed safe. As she chased Heidi around the jungle gym, she knew her princesses loved their knight just as much. They sat on the platform drinking their juice cartons, the sun shining down on them as they played. Crystal sighed contently; their castle was once again at peace.


	7. 8pm in Hell's Kitchen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie is an oblivious queen, especially when it comes to flirting. But Jan? Jan is hyper aware and jealous. Meanwhile Crystal just wants cake and to watch a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos! A quicker update than expected I'm working on the next chapter but it might take a while.  
> Hope you're all safe and well. sorry I don't reply to comments I want to say thank you for every comment they make my day but I'm just really awkward with replying ^-^

School dances were a big deal for Jackie. Her own mother never really let her go to dances, she never got to dress up, she never got to hang out with her friends and she never had that special moment she had dreamed of. She had decided therefore to live vicariously through Crystal, she was going to make sure Crystal had as many chances to enjoy herself as possible. Her schools first dance for the kindergarteners had come round quickly and she was just as excited to go as Crystal. The three of them had been dress shopping, picking out the cutest green taffeta dress for the little redhead and something nice for both herself and Jan. She finished fixing her hair and walked to Crystal’s room finding Jan pressing glittery green kids’ makeup onto Crystal’s eyelids. The little redhead looked stunning, her hair styled half up like her favourite princess belle, necklaces clacking around her neck and tiny little pumps covered in green glitter. She was a picture, if Jackie wasn’t so morally against pageantry she swore in that moment if she entered Crystal she would win. “All done” Jan chirped capping the cherry lip gloss, stepping away so Crystal could see herself in the mirror. “I’m pretty!” she yelled twirling in circles until she got dizzy, Jackie holding her shoulders in an attempt to stop the girl falling. She grabbed her bag and motioned to the door her heart swelling as she watched her beautiful girls walk hand in hand before her.  
They arrived at the dance promptly, Crystal squealing at the balloons and streamers that adorned the walls. Twisting herself as she held onto Jan’s hand, dragging her off to find Gigi and her mother. Jackie stood gracefully by the wall, enjoying the scene before her. The smiling faces of the children, the soft lights and the distant giggles she knew belonged to Crystal and her friends. She was lost in her own world until a soft cough caught her attention. “Sorry Jackie, thought you saw me there.” A male voice said, she turned to see Ray smiling down at her. Ray was James’s father, a boy from Crystal’s class she sometimes played with. The kids weren’t close but Ray liked to talk to her as they waited for the kids to come out. “Sorry, I was in my own world.” She chuckled, greeting him warmly as she always did. “Your little Crys looks a million dollars tonight Miss Cox, almost as nice as her mother.” He said, subtly gesturing at Jackie. Her mid-length black halter neck was flattering, accentuating her figure in a tasteful way but Jackie would never admit it. She assumed he meant Jan, the blonde looking radiant in her own lilac mini dress, a smile crept over her face as she thought about how lovely the dress would look on the floor that night. “She sure does, she sure does” she smiled, catching the man by surprise, he moved a little closer as they watched the kids dance. Crystal was swinging Gigi round in little circles in one hand and Rock in the other. Her heart almost burst at the sight of Heidi dancing with her father, her little feet planted on-top of his as they swayed to the music. They talked for a while, Jackie enjoyed the company, oblivious to the distance between the pair until Ray was right next to her.  
….  
From the other side of the room Jan bit her lip, she had been talking to Kate watching the girls dance, making sure to stop them for water every now and again. Until her eyes met Jackie’s and the man beside her. He was leaned up against the wall practically drooling over her and Jan suddenly felt sick. She grit her teeth and bared it knowing Jackie would never do that to her. At least she very much hoped so. Her eyes locked on the man as he got closer to her, Jan clenched her fists hoping in that moment that looks would kill. She anted him gone, Kate chuckled rom beside her resting her hand on the blondes shoulder “Seems like the other Mrs Cox has her hands full honey, does he realise she’s gay?” Jan clamed up slightly at the joke and Kate noticed quickly adding “Oh no honey I didn’t mean it like that you know I love and support you both I.-” Jan cut her off shaking her head “She’s bi Kate, I’m the lesbian” she sighed with a soft smile. “Oh sweetie, she loves you to pieces she’d never ever in a million years I promise.” Kate said hugging her gently, they pulled apart as two miniature sets of manicured nails tugged on their skirts. Jan knelt down to Crystal ruffling her hair, careful not to dislodge any curls. “Mama can we get cupcakes pretty please?” she asked, looking over for Kate who was heading over to the bathroom Gigi in tow. “Sure baby lets go say hi to mommy as well” she said ushering the redhead over. “Mommy! Let’s get cupcakes!” the girl screamed barging past the older man whose own son seemed to be approaching. “Of course, baby lets go” Jackie cooed, taking the girls hand in her own, she swore she saw Ray look up and down but brushed of the strange feeling. Crystal walked between her mothers, squeezing her mama’s hand she felt angry, but she couldn’t figure out why.  
Jackie leant against the wall smiling at the blonde sitting on the floor feeding Crystal in her lap. Before long, Gigi and Heidi had made their way over, crawling into the blonde’s lap besides Crystal. Rock stood to the side pouting, feeling left out for a moment. She was about to cry but Jan cooed her softly, lifting the three girls as she plopped herself down on the bench, giving herself a bit more lap space. “Rock baby wanna sit? They have Pikachu cupcakes up here” said asked helping the girl onto her knee beside Crystal the four giggling and sharing sweets. Jackie was deep in thought, she loved how much the kids gravitated to Jan, as she scanned the room it hit her Jan was probably one of if not the youngest one there. Her girlish face standing out against the older faces, wrinkles and more conservatively dressed parents in their late twenties and early thirties. Her brain kicked into high gear, to be quickly silenced by Jan’s sweet laugh. No, she wasn’t perverse she was lucky, she was lucky that a beautiful woman like Jan chose to marry her. That her wife was the hottest person in the room, she convinced herself. She was about to walk over to them when she felt a calloused hand on her shoulder. The man once again struck up a conversation, his son swinging from his arms. From her seat on the bench Jan couldn’t hear them, but she could guess what he was saying and I made her blood boil. A small sharp tug on her hair got her attention, looking down at her daughter staring up at her grinning like the Cheshire cat. “Mama are you jealous?” she giggled snuggling into her mother as the other girls went off to dance. “Baby, where did you hear that don’t you wanna go dance with Gigi?” she cooed, but Crystal was persistent. “Mama are you jealous?” she sung swinging her legs, almost challenging the blonde to deny it. Jan sighed pinching her cheek fondly “Yes baby mama’s ticked, mommy is mine and yours nobody else’s.” she huffed. Crystal grinned cuddling up tighter, truth be told she loved fights as long as she never had to join in and nobody she liked got hurt. It was like WWE but with words, she looked up at her mama mumbling about a title match. Jan smiled softly kissing the girls head with a soft “chose your fighter.” 

As the night progressed Jackie spent her time with Jan and Crystal, taking Crystal’s hands for the first mommy daughter dance while Jan thought it’d be fun to do the daddy dance with the girl. The three were thoroughly enjoying themselves, dancing, laughing and spending time with their friends. But anytime she was alone Ray seemed to locate her, Jan had noticed grinding her teeth any time he got into view. Crystal however was loving her mama’s frustrations yelling “round one, ding! ding! ding!” any time she thought Jan would pounce. The blonde seethed, holding herself back from marching over to Jackie and taking her in front of the guy to prove her point. She calmed herself quickly though knowing that the kids present might not take kindly to her beating up another parent. The final straw came when Jackie was walking back from the bathroom, she turned the corner again finding Ray. Jared was off with a young brunette, she assumed was the boy’s sister, leaving the two alone. “Jackie their going to be doing the parents dance in a moment, would you like to dance with me?” he asked. His smile sickly sweet as he looked into her eyes, Jackie felt uncomfortable twiddling the ring on her finger. “Uh well I’m flattered but I have someone to dance with thanks.” she said as cordially as she could muster, her eyes flicking to the blonde whose own icy blue eyes were fixed on the man beside her. “Jacks, c’mon its alright I don’t bite” he chuckled “leave Cryssie with the babysitter for a moment and come dance with me, it’ll be nice for both of us haven’t seen you with a man since little Crys started school. Let lose for once.” Jackie stared blankly at him trying to process the words that came out of his mouth. She was about to say something when she felt a familiar soft pair of arms wrap around her waist and the lavender perfume, she adored fill her nose. “Are you okay Jacks? You look tense” she asked, her voice sweet as honey as she spoke. Crystal held onto Jackie’s skirt leaning her head against her mother’s leg, she gazed between the man and her confused clinging tightly to the taffeta. “Sorry little miss is that appropriate to touch your boss like that?” Ray huffed indignantly. The blonde paused, stepping out from behind Jackie narrowing her eyes. At 5”3 Jan was hardly the most intimidating person in stature, but her aura was menacing, her ice blue eyes fixed on the man. “Excuse me? Who are you calling little miss? And why are you talking to my wife?” she spat, holding her hand up close to the mans face. He stepped back slightly chuckling “good joke princes, Jenny? Was it? You’ve gotta be like 20? No way the lovely Mrs Cox here would marry a baby like you” he scorned. Jackie stood back watching in horror biting her finger nails as Crystal whooped and cheered Jan on. “Sir I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but I’m Jan Cox. Her wife and Crystal’s mama. Yes, I’m a lesbian we do exist.” She huffed indignantly, watching as a look of realisation crossed over the man’s face. “Oh…oh sorry I just thought that…well I’d never seen her husband around and you look so young I just assumed you were like Macie over there..” he said pointing to the brunette with his son. “Nope, you really think a woman this beautiful would still be on the market. Now step the fuck back and let me dance with my wife.” She snarled, turning away, her blonde ponytail flicking dangerously like a snake’s tail. The venom in her voice turned to sweetness as she held her hands out for Jackie “My queen can we dance?” she purred, pulling the brunette in for a tasteful but very public kiss. The pair turned to Crystal, expecting tears but were shocked to see excited clapping. “Mama you’re that bitch! I wish you beat him up thought that was so cool!” she squealed hugging the blonde’s leg in her excitement.  
  
Jan laughed a little awkwardly, bending down to kiss the redhead’s forehead scooping her up and dragging Jackie onto the dance floor. Diana Ross’ All of my Love played through the speakers as they swayed. Jackie’s hands firmly placed on Jan’s hips, their eyes met, the electricity that coursed through their bodies joined them together. As cliché as it sounded when they danced, Jackie felt like their bodies joined, their two worlds becoming one beautiful moment she wished would last a lifetime. Jan rested her head on Jackie’s shoulder as they swayed, her soft breath tickling the back of Jackie’s neck. Her little world was perfect when she had the woman of her dreams in her arms and their precious little girl beside her. The rest of the night went smoothly besides Crystal boasting to her friends about how cool Jan was for nearly sucker punching a guy. They entered the apartment at about 9, tucked a worn-out Crystal into bed by ten and curled up on the couch. Jackie’s thoughts were once again racing, what if she as too old for her, what if what Ray had said was true was she taking advantage of the girl she thought? A brush of soft skin against her own, drew her back to reality, Jan had seated herself on Jackie’s lap, kissing and nipping at her neck. “Mine, shut your brain up I want you I love you, you’re mine Jackie all mine” she whined possessively pressing herself as close to the brunette as she could. That was all Jackie needed to be convinced, she carried the blonde to their room marvelling at how gorgeous they looked together, at how perfectly they fit together and how delicious she felt when she had Jan’s small hand in her own. Jackie had no regrets that night, proud of herself for stepping out of the box and making sure everyone she cared for had a wonderful evening. That was at least until the next morning. She sat down at the dinner table to eat, noticing the eyes on her neck from both Jan and Crystal, the little redhead blurting out “Mommy you got something on your neck.” Causing her to groan and Jan to giggle, she loved her she really did she told herself, but she filed a mental note to get the blonde back soon enough. Stepping out of the door that morning would be hard, but she convinced herself it’d be worth it to see their smiling faces when she returned.


	8. 8am in Soho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Widow and Crystal do amateur dramatics, Jackie has a terrible feeling.   
> Yes in this universe Crystal can sing. Yes she can still sing badly like the icon she is.   
> Crys gets bullied, she feels awful and its up to her friends to help her feel better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, a bit of a longer chapter here! Might take some time with the next update thanks for the Kudos hope you're all great and safe. Until next time, bye! ^_^

When people asked her who her best friend was Crystal never hesitated, Widow was one of her favourite people. The older girl was the bravest, the kindest and the most unashamedly herself. Crystal always trailed around after her like a puppy with its tail wagging given half a chance. So, when Peppermint had asked Jackie and Jan if they wanted to come with her and Widow to a dance and acting workshop her heart soared. Jan instantly agreed and after a week of Crystal pleading Jackie herself gave in. It wasn’t that Jackie didn’t want Crystal to act, if she wanted to go into drama like her parents, she was more than thrilled to teach her. She was more scared of the children themselves; the company were known for their snobbishness and Jackie wasn’t sure if she was comfortable exposing her daughter to that level of pretentiousness at a young age. Jan kissed away her worries reminding her that “if Widow’s there she’ll have a friend gorge, no way in hell is Widow gonna hang around with bad kids.” It was true, she knew it but she couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt? Perhaps shame? That overcame her as they drove to the theatre. If she knew it was in Hoboken she’d have reconsidered, she hated driving preferring to walk or catch the metro but Crystal was way to fast for the metro, if she ran they’d never catch her in the crowds. She leaned against the window listening intently to the little girl’s ramblings and the blonde’s sweet encouragement. She shut her eyes for a moment, tired of the city passing her by and sighed deeply.  
Upon entering the theatre Crystal spotted Widow and Monique running towards the other girls to meet them with enthusiasm. Monique was sweet as sugar, wearing her heart on her sleeve. She had energy like no other and was born to be a star, Widow like her friend had star potential her dancing was impeccable, and her personality shone through with every small movement of her body. Jackie wondered where Crystal would fit in, knowing the girl despite her quirkiness was shy around large groups, emitting a nervous energy that Jan often compared to Jackie’s own. She greeted Pepper with a hug easily lowing into conversation as the kids started a warmup exercise. “How have you been Pep?” she whispered, with her arm wrapped around the older woman. “Jackie nobody cares if you talk here, I’ve been good, fine and dandy.” She chuckled “I’m working my way through got an audition for Grisabella next week bitch.” Jackie grinned nudging her friend’s side her infectious positivity never failed to rub of on the brunette. “Finally, they’d be blind not to cast you” she praised, pulling the girl in for another hug. She looked over for Jan, noticing the girl was missing. She scanned the room spotting her wife next to a familiar head of bubble-gum pink hair. “Oh Aja’s here?” she mused turning her head back to Pep, “Yeah her little sister comes here, she’s stuck on babysitting. Good to know Jannifer has some company other than Miss Brita.” Jackie rolled her eyes. Brita, Aja and Jan had gone to school together, all ending up in different parts of the arts sphere, Brita was running the class that day and could usually be found teaching dramatic arts classes across New York’s Universities. Aja found themselves falling into the rap scene as an up and coming artist quite successfully, their dancing putting them on the map and their musical talent making them a force to be reckoned with. And then there was Jan, Jan was queen of the cabarets. Her little girl next door with so much more show soon earning her the title of Hell’s Kitchen’s sweetheart. She smiled to herself, glad that Jan would be preoccupied. Jackie fixed her eyes on the kids, they were making windmills with their arms to Brita’s encouragement, the woman’s hearty laugh filling the space. They loved her, her personality was infectious, even Jackie found a grin settling on her lips. She turned her head looking at Crystal, she was swinging her arms like the others but the tell-tale fear in her eyes had her biting the inside of her lip. She had promised to let the girl try feel things out for herself and encourage her to power through any discomfort, but it didn’t mean it would be easy. 

After the warm up, the kids were allowed to run around for a bit, they would be auditioning them for a junior production of the Wizard of Oz. Jackie couldn’t believe Brita’s ambitiousness, five to seven year-olds weren’t exactly thespians nether the less she couldn’t wait to see what her friend had put together. She took her seat between Jan and Pepper watching as the kids came on one by one to audition. Widow delivered a brilliant performance; she was assured the role of the Scarecrow in Jackie’s eyes. The parents had cheered and applauded, Pepper whistling and Jan whooping as the girl exited the stage making her way down to her auntie with a triumphant grin. “I’m gonna win auntie!” she told Pepper, the older woman nodding in agreement pulling the girl onto her lap. Next came Monique, the girl singing her heart out for Glinda, her voice was soft, smooth and gentle. Her soulful personality travelling through the theatre rafters with each note. She too ran over to Widow, hugging her friend as Pepper turned to her “Wonderful Mo! Absolutely wonderful I’m sure your grandma’s really proud sweetheart.” She gushed patting the girl on the back. Roles were announced and auditions continued, the tin man, the lion, the wizard, the flying monkeys all came and went. Jackie got more and more nervous as she realised Crystal would either be auditioning for the witch or Dorothy. When her name was called for Dorothy Jackie choked, her eyes focusing in on Jan quickly spluttering “we can’t let her do this Jan, she’s gonna make a fool o herself. She can’t do this.” The blonde turned her head to Jackie indignantly, “She’s a Cox and a Mantione. She’s got this babe. Get ready for broadways own Miss Crystal Methyd.” She said, rubbing Jackie’s hand with her own, tracing patterns upon the soft skin with her fingers. Jackie swore she would vomit until to her surprise Crystal started, usually the girl warbled out of tune, but it dawned on Jackie. She had never tried. The girl sung for fun, but she never tried until now. Her voice was soft, surprisingly deep for someone her age and strong, somewhere over the rainbow had never sounded as beautiful in her ears as it did in that moment. The audience hung onto their seats, Jackie’s eyes flicked over to Jan, the shorter woman leaned back smiling softly, recording the girl on her phone. She knew. Jackie would kill her later for letting her worry. The redhead finished her song, hoping of the stage and skipping up to her parents snuggling into Jackie’s arm as she peppered her face with purposefully wet kisses. Watching in amusement as the girl pouted, swatting her away and scrubbing at her cheeks. When the cast was announced she was floored, her Crystal was Dorothy. She couldn’t be prouder in that moment, but the feeling of dread still ebbed away at her stomach. She held her tightly in her arms hoping for once, her gut might be wrong.   
…  
Weeks passed as rehearsals went on. Crystal loved acting; she loved the play, but she didn’t like how mean some of the others were to her. She sat on the stage floor, Dahlia above her hazel eyes boring into her own forest green. “Ugly. I should be Dorothy” she huffed, flicking her pigtails as she spoke. “You’d be a good Dorothy Dahlia.” Crystal told her trying her best to be nice like her mothers taught her. “Then give me the part” she huffed, “They only gave it to you because you’re adopted!” she yelled. Crystal’s breath hitched; she hated the word. No matter how many times her mama told her adoption was great Crystal hated hearing it. She was Jan and Jackie’s daughter, she knew that but she was scared that the world viewed her differently. She stood on wobbly legs only to be pushed back down, she gulped as a foot jammed into her side. Her mind whirring trying to comprehend that Dahlia had kicked her, she’d never been kicked before, and it hurt. Chants of adopted roused from the kids, finger pointing in her direction leaving her feeling small, angry and very very scared. The girl got to her feet and ran as fast as her feet would carry her; she ran to the back of the room settling in the corner in tears. Her mama wouldn’t be there until pick up time and Miss Brita was busy helping Monique with her songs. She buried her face in her knees hoping the second hand would tick faster. She cried into her knees for what felt like hours until a small pair of arms wrapped themselves around her frame. “Cryssy? You know they’re dumb right?” Widow said rubbing her friend’s arm. Crystal nodded, snuggling up to the girl “she’s so mean Widow, why is she so mean?” she sniffled. Widow cuddled up closer to the shorter girl, her voice wobbly as she spoke “She’s jealous Crys.” Crystal didn’t understand why Dahlia could be jealous of her, everyone loved Dahlia, Dahlia was pretty and she had lots and lots of friends. Why would she ever want to be like Crystal? The girl just nodded, curling herself into her friend. Widow hated to see the girl cry, she held her friend tight, Monique coming over and snuggling up to the other two after her session with Brita. She hugged Widow’s back encouraging humming softly, “Widow Widow Widow Widow Widow” she said poking the girls side each time until she looked up at the shorter girl with a gruff “what?” Monique’s dazzling smile greeted hr as she chirped out “hi”, the girls chuckled Widow pulling Mo into her arms, even Crystal was giggling at the exchange. “Crys why don’t we tell Brita?” Monique asked, the oldest girl was the most rational, both of the younger girls trusted her judgement usually but Crystal shook her head with a weak smile. “I’ll be okay Monique, thanks Widow” she said softly, launching herself at the girl properly tackling her into a hug. Monique threw herself on top of the other two the girls laying in a pile giggling, Crystal plastered her smile on she would be okay as long as she had her friends she’d be fine, right?  
She went through the motions, only speaking when spoken to, putting in as little effort as possible and clinging onto Widow’s hand at any given moment. When Jan came to get her, the sadness had washed over her face, her usual smile vanished, and the tear tracks dried on her cheeks had her worried out of her mind. They walked home in near silence, Crystal’s fear had her questioning what to tell her mama, would the truth make things worse? Would Dahlia get in trouble she didn’t want that. She was surprised when they walked through the park, down the backroads as the leaves fell around them. Swirls of oranges, browns and amber collecting at their feet, Crystal savouring the crunch even in her saddened sate. Jan sat on a swing, Crystal took the seat behind her. She studied her mama’s face, she looked sad too, maybe it was her fault she thought. A soft hand placed itself on her back, rubbing it gently before giving her a gentle push. “Kids are really mean baby, they say nasty things but they don’t normally mean it.” She said, Crystal focusing in on the stormy blue irises as she spoke. “Sometimes they sad really hurtful things but we have to remember words make us feel bad but they won’t hurt us. But baby you have something they want but don’t know how to find, that’s why they’re mean.” Crystal felt a soft hand push her hair back behind her ear, she leant into the warmth seeking comfort. “Its okay to feel sad, its okay to feel hurt baby, we all get sad, especially when people are mean. If you don’t wanna tell mama right now that’s fine but mama’s always here okay?” she cooed. Crystal nodded climbing off her swing and onto Jan’s lap. “mama swing please?” she pleaded clinging to the blonde’s tiny waist. Jan smiled kicking herself off the floor holding Crystal tightly with one arm, her other hand wrapped firmly around the chain. “Crystal watched the clouds over her shoulder as they swung, she felt better, calmer, the soft humming from her mama’s throat always made things better. She cuddled up tighter singing along to I’m like a bird as they swung. Maybe she could fly away too? Leave all the sad things behind her.   
……  
The second time Dahlia was mean Widow was there, she flinched herself at the word “adopted” just like Crystal. The word was fine but the way she spoke was dripping in venom. Widow herself for once in her life let her eyes roll to the floor, she felt tears well up. Words never usually hurt her, but that one struck a nerve. She dragged Crystal away by the hand over to Peppermint. The woman was sat in the audience running over her lines for cats. She dropped the book the second she heard the girls approach standing up to grab them both the second she spotted the tears. “Baby girls why are you crying shh now come sit on aunties lap.2 she soothed pulling both into her chest. She kissed Widow’s head letting the girl tell her story, patting her back and cooing her when she choked up. “Widow Von’Du, listen to me carefully okay? Yes you are adopted. You are my adopted baby. But you know what? That’s amazing. You’re my niece by blood sure, but you’re MY WIDOW. I got to pick you out of all the little girls in the world I picked you.” She said pressing a kiss to Widow’s nose, earning her a giggle and swat to the cheek. “That’s so special Widow, magical because you’re the best kid in the world, Crystal little baby you’re number two okay? But you’re your mama and mommy’s number one. If anyone ever uses that word like that again you tell them their parents got stuck with their shitty ass.” Widow wiped her tears cuddling up tightly to her aunt, she gazed up at her in awe, Pepper was the best person in the entire world and nobody could tell her shit. “auntie can I really cuss her out?” she said grinning, Pepper nodded “call her a bitch too if you like.” The girl beamed up at her aunt “I love you auntie” she whispered, Pepper felt her heart swell at the words “love you too baby” she cooed pulling her closer.   
The auditions continued Widow in high spirits calling Dahlia out for every mean thing she said but Crystal still felt low. The small girl hiding behind her taller friend at any opportunity. Until it was just her and Dahlia on stage. Dahlia once again calling her ugly and stupid. This time Crystal ignored her walking towards the dark haired girl. “Dahlia can we be friends?” she asked holding her hand out to her. This time it was Dahlia who stopped dead, nobody had ever asked her that before. Her friends were Aja’s friends’ kids, or her mom’s friends kids. She’d never really made a friend on her own and she didn’t know what to do. “Um…I like…I like that. Please?” she almost whispered. The redhead grinned pulling her into a tight embrace, Pepper in the audience felt her jaw drop. How the hell was any kid that nice? She thought, shaking her head softly Jan really knew how to pick them didn’t she? Crystal and Dahlia’s reactions were somewhat strained for the rest of the day but Crystal telling her how pretty she was really softened Dahlia up. Dahlia was surprisingly sweet, she told Crystal about her mom, her sister and how she felt lonely at home so she made herself popular everywhere else. The little redhead shook her hand promising she’d never let Dahlia be lonely again. Dahlia wanted ot believe her but how could she? She felt a tap on her shoulder looking over at Kandy, her best friend in the whole wide world “Why are you talking to her?” the girl asked, not maliciously just slightly confused but in Dahlia’s mind all she heard were threats. She was scared, scared Kandy wouldn’t want to be her friend so she trotted off behind her saying “I’m not talking to her.” Leaving a confused Crystal in her wake.   
This time, it wasn’t Jan or Jackie picking her up. Much to her surprise it was Alexis, the older woman bending down for her as she sprinted towards her fairy-grandmother. “My sweet little Dorothy how are we today?” the older woman asked, letting Crystal sit on her hip. “I’m good grandma, can we leave please?” she asked, she was careful not to plead but Alexis wasn’t stupid. She knew a sad kid when she saw one, Jan had the same habit when she was Crystal’s age of letting her eyes betray her. She nodded softly, turning on her heels and whisking the girl away. “Baby grandma’s taking you somewhere very special today okay?” she cooed, walking down the boulevard, careful not to speed walk and leave her granddaughter in the dust. They walked into a shop Crystal had never seen before, bright lights and glittery fabrics on every wall. It was magical, like something out of a story book. She noticed the short woman with long black hair intricately syled greet her grandma and stood back to look at her. She was spooky, her eyes were catlike and her pale face was gaunt but she was smiling so she had to be nice, maybe she was an imp? The lady bent down to her smiling softly, “And you must be the little fairy, Crystal is it?” she asked softly. The redhead nodded vigorously, she had to be an imp Crystal thought. “Now these are for you, you can put them on in the mirror over there if you like” she said softly, handing Crystal a small white box, wrapped with a pretty red ribbon. Crystal nodded opening the box, her mouth fell open into a perfect o as she tore at the crepe paper. “Grandma are these for me?” she cried, Alexis tapped her nose grinning with a soft “only the best for my Dorothy.” The girl ran her finger alongside the ruby red slipper, they had heels, bows and glitter as far as the eye could see, her name was written inside the shoe as well. She quickly kicked off her sandals and placed them on her feet, standing effortlessly in the little heels she looked in the mirror. She felt special, magical she’d never really felt like a Dorothy until now. She thanked the shop lady as Alexis paid, taking the girl by the hand. “I’ll come by for the dress next week Aiden, tell Brita hi for me” she said as they left. The clip-clop of her heels as they walked made Crystal smile. She was a real Dorothy, that meant she was strong and kind and she’d beat the wicked witch no matter what. Alexis scooped the girl into her arms and held her close. “This time next week little bird the whole city will be screaming your name. Just you wait.” Crystal nodded, she went to speak but a yawn escaped her lips, she curled into her grandma’s arms letting the soft sounds of the city lull her into a blissful sleep.  
……  
The opening night was phenomenal, Brita couldn’t be prouder of the kids. Widow was a sensational scarecrow, the audience laughing along with her at every joke. Monique was the most beautiful Glinda, Aiden had really outdone herself on the dress sure but the girl’s own smile, enthusiasm and the makeup she’d applied all by herself really sold it. And Crystal? Crystal had received a standing ovation, her little pigtails bouncing from side to side as she took her bow. After the show she ran through the clouds in her little heels looking for her parents, her aunties, grandma well anyone. But she was stopped by Dahlia, the other girls face painted a bright green. She gulped hoping she wasn’t going to be mean again, to her surprise Dahlia wrapped her arms around her shoulders. “I’m sorry Crystal, can we be friends for real this time? I’m really, really sorry” she said, Crystal noted how watery her voice was almost as if it was dripping in regrets. She nodded pulling the girl into her side. “I’d like that Dahlia, I’d really like that.” She said smiling, her hands clasped Dahlia’s own a soft smile spreading across the dark haired girl’s perfect lips. They walked hand in hand to their families, Crystal’s ruby red slippers clacking across the tile as they went. She’d beaten the wicked witch, but she knew deep down the witch wasn’t wicked all the way down. Maybe she was scared? On the walk from the Uber to their apartment she animatedly told her mothers all about it, Jackie beaming proudly down at her and Jan pinching her cheek softly in approval. “Jackie we’re gonna have to book tickets for Wicked aren’t we” she chuckled. Jackie rolled her eyes nodding, she’d do anything for them but Jan knew how much she loathed that specific musical. Not one to be outdone she turned to Crystal, “Hey baby? Wanna watch the Spock man tonight?” she asked, taking pleasure in Jan’s soft groan as Crystal yelled in delight. Jan chuckled as they entered the apartment, she lived with two nerds and she was fine with that. Maybe for once she’d even sit down and watch an episode with them, she thought, snuggling up on the couch beside Jackie. She fell asleep halfway through the first episode but hey she tried. Jackie softly ran her fingers through Jan’s hair sighing softly, she hated domesticity in theory but for once. Just for once she’d admit that her gay domestic life wasn’t all that bad.


	9. 1am on the couch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jan works hard, too hard and now she's sick. Now its up to Jackie and Crystal to take care of her!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys hope you are enjoying, the next chapter is underway! I'm very excited about the next one. If you have any suggestions of things you'd like to see me write in this universe feel free to send them to me. Stay safe and drink water ^-^

Changing seasons always brought around changes in schedule for Jan, as the summer started to fade into autumn the girl’s schedule filled up. More and more gigs meant less sleep and more nights working until 5am, singing her heart out into the microphone, the crowds loved her and tipped her well but as the days went by the sparkle in her eye started to fade. Lagoona, Rose, Nicky, Jaida and Jackie had all warned her she needed to slow down and take a minute to breathe or she’d regret it. But Jan knew herself, she had performing in her veins it was her lifeblood, her passion she desired the stage just as much as she desired her home life. She left the apartment that night, Jackie warning her to take it easy with a soft kiss, Jan brushing her off gently grabbing he bag and walking out into the cool evening air.  
But with every rise comes a fall, and as predicted Jan existed the bar on Thursday morning groggy. She made her way through Ariana tracks, but her stomach was shaking as she moved. Her smile stayed plastered across her face but beneath it was agony, her head was swimming, pulsing along to the beat of the songs as she collected money. She hadn’t drunk anything all night, so it wasn’t the alcohol, Rose had even commented that she looked tired. Her voice held up, but her stomach was in knots, every high note her stomach almost dared her to try again see if she’d throw up. After her last number she quickly gathered her things, not bothering to change she needed to leave the club, the stuffy air making everything feel worse. She decided to walk home hoping the cool night air would help her feel better. Lagoona stopped her at the door, “Jannie get an uber please girl you look awful you need to get home now and go to bed.” She soothed, holding her defiant friend’s hand tightly. Once again Jan brushed off her concerns with a soft “I’ll be fine gorge I just need some fresh air.” She walked home in the dim lamp light, but her legs were weak, shaky, her usual thirty-minute walk took almost an hour. The rain had started to pour, the girls soft flannel bodysuit doing little to help her. When she finally entered the apartment at 1am she was exhausted, half tempted to lay in the doorway to sleep there. She took a few steps before the nausea hit her, she sprinted to the bathroom her heals clattering on the tile as she threw herself at the toilet to vomit. Tears streamed down her face, she tired to stop but the vomit kept on coming. After what felt like an age she leaned back against the floor, she heard the soft padding of feet make their way towards the bathroom.  
Jackie gasped from the doorway, dropping behind Jan to pull her up “Oh my god Jannifer, you’ve done it this time” she said, placing her hand against her wife’s forehead. She felt like she was on fire, Jackie sighed, grabbing a makeup wipe from the counter, she cleaned the blonde’s face, carefully noting the wincing when she touched Jan’s forehead. She ran a bath, helping the blonde to stand. “strip.” She commanded, watching in horror as the blonde’s skinny frame wracked with shivers, she didn’t have the energy. Jackie gently undressed her, placing her into the warm water. “Baby you need to warm up, then we’ll get you in bed hmm? You’ve burnt yourself out again, looks like a fever Janice.” She soothed, washing the blonde’s back as she sniffled. Jan didn’t fear much, but sickness, sickness scared her. It was irrational but after watching her father deteriorate as quickly as he had any form of illness, from a sniffle to a full-blown migraine left her panicked. Jackie noticed the tears, she wiped her eyes with long languid fingers, letting out the water and lifting the blonde into a towel. She carried her to their bedroom in silence, Jan’s sniffles he only sound filling the apartment. She dressed her in her softest pyjamas laid her down on the bed and held her close. “Jan, I love you, you’re safe, it’ll go quickly I promise. Let’s get some sleep hmm?” she whispered, grimacing as the human furnace cuddled up into her. Jackie held her close, kissing her forehead and whispering sweet nothings into her ear, hoping the girl would feel at least a little better but she still marked a note in her calendar to call in sick for the next few days. She went to stand up, the blonde gripping onto her shirt in fear “Jacks where…” she started her throat giving out on her part way through her sentence. “I want you to drink something before you sleep Jannie” she told her softly, rushing to the kitchen to grab her water bottle, running through the apartment and snuggling up to her wife once more. “take a few sips, you don’t have to drink it all” she commanded, her eyes following Jan’s throat, watching as the girl drank. Jan laid her head down on Jackie’s chest, the brunette embracing her. Jackie felt herself drifting of into sleep, mildly annoyed her Friday night had ended in such a way, quickly brushing the feeling off at the visual of Jan’s tired face. She pulled the blonde tighter, her nerves calming as she breathed in the scent of lavender, the scent pervading her mind as she slowly drifted off.  
……  
Jackie woke to a crash; she rubbed her eyes sitting up in bed looking over to her side to find the blonde missing. She grabbed her glasses off the nightstand, her brain kicking into gear, quickly remembering the shaky blonde, the loud bang, it took her about half a minute to figure out what had happened. “Jan!” she yelled, rushing out of the bedroom she found the blonde on the floor near the bathroom, tears streaming down her face. Quickly made her way over to the girl, pulling her close, Jan swatting her hands away shaking her head. “Jacks..need to pee.. I can’t get up” she croaked, her voice heavy with sleep, fear and what Jackie suspected to be overuse. The brunette nodded kissing her forehead, hooking her arms under her legs and lifting her she quickly helped her into the bathroom leaving her for a moment. “yell if you need me baby, I’m waiting outside” she said, propping herself up against the door. When the blonde opened the door, Jackie held her face, the cheeks were flushed, hot, her eyes were watery, and her lips were quivering. “Angel, this is why you need to slow down, we’re going back to bed okay? I’ll stay with you, but you need to go to bed baby.” She told her guiding the girl back towards the room, the blonde shaking her head “you can’t…Cryssy” she whined. Jackie paused for a moment nodding “how about mama stays on the couch all day hm? You can sleep and I’ll watch Crys today? We’ll be fine angel I promise. Does your head still hurt?” she asked softly helping her down onto the couch. “mm a little I’m sleepy Jacks” she whined. “sleep then angel, I’ll go get Crys up and we’ll wake you for breakfast, do you think you can hold anything down?” She blinked and shrugged cuddling up into the pillows on the couch, her mind to foggy to think things through. Jackie covered her in blankets, petting her hair as the shorter girl fell back into sleep. She placed a cold flannel on her forehead, kissing the blonde’s cheek endearingly, even when she was sick Jan was adorable, her pretty cheeks flushed pink made her look almost doll like. She was definitely frail like a rag doll right now.  
When Jackie stood and looked at the kitchen, she realised how much Jan had to do in the mornings. Laundry laid on the couch unfolded, the dishes still stacked in the sink from last night, Crystal’s little homework packet sat on the table unfinished. Jackie groaned, she’d do it, she had to but how did Jan do all of this before ten? Jan rarely got sick, it was usually Jackie in bed with Jan taking care of her, Jan’s natural caring disposition let her slip easily into a nurse role. Jackie relished the ends of her illnesses where she would cuddle with her wife, soft kisses flowing and naked thighs touching, Jackie would always sweat through clothes and whining enough always got Jan out of her own pants. But Jackie was not the best at dealing with sick people, she’d try damnit she would make herself the best nurse she could be if the bubbly blonde would be back on her feet quicker. Jackie stood lost in thought barely noticing the sound of small feet padding towards her. Crystal latched herself onto Jackie’s leg sleepily, rubbing her eye with one hand and grabbing onto Jackie’s pant leg with the other. “Mommy, why’s mama sleeping? she hates sleeping.” She asked confused, worry spreading across her little brow. Jackie leaned down, wiping the little creases off her forehead, carding her gentle fingers through her soft curls “Mama’s sick baby, she’ll be okay, but we need to be quiet and let her sleep.” Before Jackie could stop her Crystal had ran off to her room, she came out seconds later holding something that she couldn’t quite recognise, her heart breaking in two when she finally understood what Crystal was holding. She carried her tiny pillow in her hands walking over to Jan and tucking the little pillow under her. Crystal’s little pillow was one of the few things she’d brought with her from Silky’s. The little pillow was worn but Crystal would never let it go, she told Jackie she wanted to keep it forever in her first week home, Jackie intended to make sure that happened. Jan sewed tiny holes and patches anytime there was damage to the little fabric sack. Her little pillow meant the world to her and here she was sharing her precious treasure with her mother. Jackie still found it hard to believe the girl was human sometimes and not a perfect little woodland creature sent to make their lives better. “Cryssy come to mommy sweetie” she cooed, pulling the girl into her arms. “I wanna stay with mama, I wanna make sure she’s okay.” Jackie held her daughter closer, “angel why don’t we play nurses today? You can help mommy look after mama and we’ll get pizza for dinner and watch Disney movies tonight. How does that sound?” Crystal nodded excitedly, sleepily snuggling into her mommy’s side, Jackie chuckled like mother like daughter she thought carrying the girl into the kitchen. It was Saturday there was no need for clothes today they’d all stay in pyjamas she thought.  
The morning passed quickly, Jackie and Crystal worked through the laundry Jackie folding it and Crystal putting items into little piles, carrying them to the rooms and placing them on the beds. They’d cleaned the house, done the dishes put things away and were currently making breakfast. Jackie never liked cooking really but cooking with the little girl was more than enjoyable, both were smothered in flour and powdered sugar. Crystal was decorating their pancakes as Jackie made coffee and “coffee” (Chocolate milk she’d put through the coffee machine to warm up.) for them. Jan’s stirring from the couch caught her attention, she quickly washed her hands and sat beside the blonde, Crystal trailing behind carrying a plate of toast. “Mama you woke up” Crystal said uncharacteristically softly, handing the blonde a plate of toast. Jan smiled weakly taking it and patting Crystal’s head in thanks. She still felt awful, her head wasn’t pounding anymore but her stomach was still doing flips and she was pretty sure she’d sweat through her clothes. “Jacks... Cryssy thank you” she sighed, pulling both girls close to her. They ate in silence, Jan miraculously keeping it down. Jackie pressed her to go back to sleep, but she refused. Jackie nudged the little girl, waiting for her to return with her wife’s purple water bottle. “Jan drink please then cuddles.” she said authoritatively, letting the redhead place the bottle onto her lap. “I can’t Jacks..” she mumbled, catching sight of the deep green eyes beneath her “please mama drink you need to get better.” She begged. Jan sighed, there was no way she could resist the puppy dog eyes, she huffed taking a few sips from the bottle, laying her head back against Jackie when she felt her stomach couldn’t take anymore. The blonde was content cuddling with her girls and Jackie couldn’t really complain herself. She held the blonde in her lap, keeping her wrapped in heavy blankets petting her hair watching her drift back into sleep.  
The day passed slowly, She and Crystal played nurse, taking Jan’s temperature, giving her soup, Jackie carrying her to the bathroom and Crystal reading her stories to make her sleepy. The girls laid on the floor, Crystal painting in her nails a pastel yellow. Jackie smiled, listening as Crystal told her about Gigi’s birthday party plans, they were going to build-a-bear and they’d get matching bears. Jackie kept glancing over at the blonde who looked much better already. Maybe by tomorrow she’d be up and walking again. Jackie wasn’t going to let her start work again until at least Monday though she thought. She turned her attention back to the little redhead who had finished her paint job. “Thank you sweetie they look lovely” she cooed, pulling her onto her lap. “Now what colour for Cryssy” she said in her best monster voice blowing raspberries on the girls skin and tickling her. The girl giggling and squealing in her lap “Mommy no stop! I’ll do the falcon thingy!” she yelled. Jackie stood up fake gasping “Not the falcon grip oh no, you wouldn’t dare Miss Methyd” she grinned, backing away letting the little girl chase her around the apartment. She genuinely hadn’t had this much fun in a while, letting her hair down every once in a while, felt amazing. She needed to take a pyjama day more often she’d decided. She slowed down, letting the girl catch up with her and put her into a loose falcon grip, Jackie making a groan of defeat and throwing herself to the floor as Crystal giggled. She sat up cuddling the small girl for a moment “Live long and prosper” she said, placing her hand out in with her fingers spread apart, Crystal copied her as they pressed their hands together. It was their little thing, nerdy as it was, it made Jackie’s heart swell with pride.  
Jan woke up again about 8pm, she was hungry, her head for the first time in a few days wasn’t hurting but her throat felt scratchy and irritated. She sat up watching with fond eyes, the girls in the kitchen. Jackie was cooking noddle soup, standing behind Crystal holding her hands on the knife as they cut up cooked chicken chunks. Crystal added it to the broth, high fiving her mother with soft praise from Jackie. She felt so lucky, leaning back against the pillows she pretended to be asleep until the soft sounds of footstep got close. “Jan, I know you’re awake sit up love you’ve got to eat.” She pushed herself up back against the pillows taking the bowl from Crystal’s hands. She ate slowly, her hands shaking slightly as she spooned the soup into her mouth. The other two ate beside her, the smell of the pizza making Jan’s stomach flip slightly, but she endured. She shut her eyes for a moment, calming warmth on either side. She felt hands take the bowl from her own, she felt a little body flop onto her lap and a larger body pull her close. She once again slipped into a warm sleep.  
When she awoke, she felt much better, she was still rough, but she could move her arms without shaking anymore, she looked from side to side grinning at her wife on her left and her daughter in her lap. She hated being sick she hated anything that made her feel weak but if she had Jackie and Crystal maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t all that bad.


	10. Memories of 5am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystal has a little school project: Interview your parents. Jackie is taken down a trip on memory lane. Very fluffy a little sad but I promise there will be less tears/no tears in the next one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're all enjoying the story thank you for any kudos or comments!   
> I think I'm aiming to do a chapter for each hour of the day so a fair bit more to come!  
> Stay safe, healthy and well. ^-^  
> Until next time.

Crystal hated homework normally, she couldn’t sit still and do a worksheet when her bedroom was so warm and inviting. She hated math she found it too hard, she got frustrated when she couldn’t do the sums. The only thing she liked to do at home was her art and English work. She adored writing, Jackie nudging Jan anytime it was brought up boasting that she would follow in her footsteps. Deep down Jan knew better. Crystal was an art prodigy, it was easy for anyone to see, it was just a question of which artistic option she would follow. She was five years old, she’d tell Jackie she’d figure it out in the way-off future. Crystal came home one evening with her little homework packet nearly empty, Jackie emailing miss West just to check she wasn’t hiding things again. She sat down with her daughter reading the assignment over blushing with a gentle smile. “Read this for me birdy” she asked, letting the girl snatch the sheet. “in-ta-inner- interview your parents about their past, it could be how they met or what they liked to do as kids or any questions you can think of.” The girl said, proud of herself for only stumbling once, Jackie chuckling at the girl’s puffed out chest. She looked up at Jackie wide eyed mumbling “Mommy…whatsa interview?” curiously, her legs swinging against the chair as she spoke. “An interview is where you ask someone questions baby, you write down their answers so everyone else can read it” she answered, replying to her own emails as they talked. Jackie found working with Crystal helped her focus, giving her quick little breaks stopped her from tearing her hair out. She knew homework was the one thing she couldn’t trust Jan with, one pout and the blonde would cave, letting Crystal join in her singing lessons leaving her schoolwork half done for Jackie to pick up on later. Crystal read her sheet over again, Jackie watching amused as the girl wrote down a few questions in sparkly pink ink at the top of her notebook.   
She turned to Jackie bright eyes gleaming, “mommy can I intaview you?” she asked, leaning forward in her seat giving her best puppy face. Jackie rolled her eyes, booping her nose and nodding “its interview baby, and of course you can ask away my little reporter.” The kid giggled, swatting at Jackie’s finger, she chewed on the end of her pen before speaking again, quickly removing it from her mouth when Jackie gave her “the look.” “What’s your favourite colour?” she asked “its red Cryssy you know that” Jackie mumbled, playfully pushing the girl on the shoulder, “What’s your favourite thing you have from when you were a kid?” she went on. Jackie paused for a second, not expecting that question, she placed her hand on her head dramatically humming and ahhing, a smile spreading across her cheeks as Crystal giggled. “It’s my boa, the one mommy keeps it the wardrobe” she said, her voice just above a whisper, remembering her childhood was always painful She never really spoke about her parents, she loved them she really did but they had never really accepted her. She never felt good enough, never smart enough or well adapted, she still wondered if her mother could ever be proud of her. She’d never even told them the truth about Jan, to them Jan was her “roommate,” let alone Crystal. To them Crystal was just Jan’s niece, she’d even greeted them once on Skype to be met with rude comments about how unruly her hair was. She wondered how they would react if she chose to tell them. She could almost picture her father holding Crystal in his arms, telling her stories about Canada, she liked to picture her mother holding the girl on her hip as she played with her. Telling her stories and teaching her about the world, about Iran, about the wonders of being a woman. She shook the thoughts out of her head, taking Crystal into her arms much to the girls surprise, the redhead about to whine before catching sight of the tears in her mommy’s eyes. She snuggled deep into her arms, burying her head into her, “mommy don’t be sad, please, ‘m sorry don’t cry” she pleaded, her own voice watery, betraying her. “baby shh no don’t be sorry, lets keep going, I get a little sad sometimes thinking about my mommy and daddy that’s all baby, ask away” she soothed, holding her closer.  
Sometimes she wondered if she relied on the girl too much she babied her for sure, but how could she not? Besides Heidi, Crystal was the smallest child she’d ever seen. No matter how much she ate, she stayed tiny and frail, her arms and legs almost twig like, when she jumped Jackie always feared her appendages would give way beneath her, snapping in two. They never did the girl was tough. She took the girls tiny sniffles as a sign she wasn’t ready to give up on her baby status just yet, instead choosing to rub her back, waiting for her to write down her answer. “mommy, what are your mommy and daddy like?” she asked, her little face betraying her curiosity. Alexis was one of her favourite people, she adored her, she knew everything about her grandpa too through stories, she’d even kiss the photo on Alexis’ wall hello when she visited. Jackie sighed, it was only natural Crystal would want to know more about her parents, her side of the family. “well, your grandpa is from Canada, he’s a great man, he loves to fish, he likes the stars and he told me when I was a little bit bigger than you are know that there wasn’t anything in this world I couldn’t do if I tried. And guess what birdy? He was right. Your grandma... no that doesn’t seem right Alexis is grandma isn’t she ... your granny is a very special lady. She’s very kind, very strict, but she always wants what is best for me, she worked very very hard when we were little. She is from Iran, she has the kindest eyes, she’s super smart and she made the best sweets, she’d always come out and play with us in the snow too. And she is the prettiest lady ever.”   
She looked down at the little girl in her arms, her face was lit up with the biggest smile, Jackie couldn’t be prouder she cupped her face smiling right back down at her. Crystal wrote her answers down in her notebook, her left hand resting on her mother’s larger one. “They sound really nice mommy, is granny pretty like you?” she asked, Jackie almost choked. Despite Jan telling her daily she still struggled to see herself as beautiful, she quickly glanced over at the mirror, studying her features, picturing her mother’s stern face in her head. “Yes baby, she looks like me but she doesn’t smile quite as much” she chuckled, ruffling the girl’s soft auburn curls. She couldn’t help in the moment but to study Crystal’s face, she’d been told once by unaware parents she looked like her, or how much she looked like Jan. She never saw it in the physical features why would she, Crystal was uniquely Crystal not to mention the fact the little Latina was in no way related by biology. But in her mannerism, Jackie couldn’t help but agree, she had her anxious ticks, her bad habit of chewing on things when she concentrated and her mischievous grin but Jan’s soft gentleness in her actions, her general demeanour oozed with comfort just like her wife and not to mention the girl’s endless energy supply. She was snapped out of her thoughts when Crystal pulled at her sleeves. “Mommy… why did you adopted me?” she asked, the question written in bold pink across the page made Jackie’s heart skip a beat. “because we love you, we loved you the second you walked into our lives sweetie, even if mommy spent a little too long as just Jackie hmm? Your mama, your mama talked about babies, but we never thought we’d ever have one. But then you came along, and you birdy were so sweet and loving we couldn’t imagine life without our Crystal Elizabeth.” She said, determined that the girl write down every word correctly, Jackie pointed out spelling mistakes as she wrote. This assignment would be a permanent reminder of her special talks with the girl. She’d never felt quite as close as she did in that moment to the child on her knee. Crystal nodded as she wrote, mumbling a quiet I love you before quickly moving onto the next question. She felt funny, she hated serious things and wanted the fun back.  
She wiggled her way out of Jackie’s arm running across the apartment, to Jackie’s amusement stopping at the bookshelf. “This. Help me get this please.” She begged, waiting as Jackie sauntered across the room, deliberately taking her time, chuckling at the pout Crystal wore. She poked the girl’s forehead playfully pulling down the double picture frame from the shelf, running her finger across the glass. “This?” she questioned, handing the frame to the girl. The redhead nodded looking at the photo intensely as she directed Jackie back to the table, settling beside her. “Mommy when did you meet mama?” she asked, writing a note about how her mother shut her eyes and smiled as she waited for Jackie to recount her story.  
…..  
For Jackie’s twenty eighth birthday Monet, Pepper and Chelsea were determined to push her out there. They opened the doors for her, Bob and Bri waiting for them at the bar of the burlesque house. Bob ordered her a jack and coke before she could think, the women around her obnoxiously yelling and singing happy birthday at the top of their lungs much to Jackie’s annoyance. She hugged Pepper, thanking them as they partied. Jackie started to loosen up after her first drink grinding jokingly against Monet, until the music stopped, Monet dragged her by the hand to the stage. Jackie loved it, she screamed and hollered as the women danced and sung, until a girl with lavender hair took the stage and her heart stopped. She sat in the centre, leaning against the piano, her body glistening as the spotlight shone down. Monet nudged her “Jacks close your mouth and tip your dream girl” she chuckled, handing the brunette a twenty “Mo shut it” she mumbled giving her a half-hearted shove. She held the money out, not expecting the singer to pay much attention, her heart stopping a second time when the stormy blue eyes fell upon her own almond, a perfectly manicured hand took the bill, her soft voice flowing through Jackie’s ears. “thank you beautiful, can I ask your name?” she simpered, her voice almost angelic in Jackie’s ears. “Jackie” her friends yelled before she had time to speak. The lavender goddess in front of her giggled softly, brushing her fingers over Jackie’s palm, she swore she felt sparks fly as cliché as it sounded. “Well Jackie, happy birthday sweets this one is for you.” With that the girl walked back to the centre of the stage, placing the microphone back in the stand. As hopelessly devoted filled the bar, Jackie’s world stopped spinning, all she could focus on was the sweet, powerful voice, the soft waves of her hair and the sweet lingering smell of the lavender perfume she guessed the girl wore.   
She could hardly believe her own disappointment as the girl left the stage, she tried to forget her turning her attention back to her friends and dancing but the girl ran through her mind. Hopelessly devoted playing on repeat as she danced, out of the corner of her eyes, she caught a glimpse of purple. She shook her head until Bob grabbed her by both shoulders “Get the girl Jack’s” she screamed, pushing the brunette forward. She froze in place, the girl walking away, along with any hope Jackie had. Ah well she thought until Briana, her short saviour yelled across the bar “Janistasia over here girl!” Janistasia, an odd name Jackie thought. Hardly believing her eyes as the lavender haired woman from the stage walked towards them, just as beautiful in her jean shorts and converse as she was on stage. She embraced the tiny blonde talking animatedly before turning her attention to Jackie. “Hi Jackie? Happy birthday gorge! I didn’t know you where Bri’s friend. I’m Jan!” she said, holding her arm out. Without thinking and to the surprise of everyone in the room, Jackie, the usual moral control of the group launched forward and pulled the girl into a hug. “Its wonderful to meet you Jan. thank you. You sing wonderfully by the way.” She said, hoping her voice didn’t betray her desire. It turned out Jan wasn’t one to shy away either, much to Jackie’s surprise the girl chucked “you better not be a straight girl Jacqueline you’re too pretty for boys. I have to go now but call me tomorrow?” she cooed, writing her number onto a napkin and slipping it into Jackie’s breast pocket. Jackie without thinking turned the lavender haired girl and kissed her, her friends screeching. Jackie’s nickname in all group chats was changed to gay panic by the next morning. She feared she’d screwed up until a notification popped up. She read the text smiling widely “Hey Bri told me you’re a pussy and gave e your number its Jan. I wasn’t expecting a kiss Miss Jackie but I want another one if you’re down. Coffee xoxox?” Jackie held her phone close to her chest. She knew it was cliché to get her hopes up but this girl was different, special. Little did she know how much her lie would change in the next few years, even she couldn’t have predicted the lavender girl would become so much more.  
….  
Crystal wrote down the story in her notebook giggling and pointing to the photo beside it. “tell me about this day mommy. You look so pretty here” she squealed. Jackie took the photo from her hands, glancing down at it fondly. It was from their wedding day, Jackie’s dress falling just below her knees in pale ivory, her hair pulled back into a ponytail. Her arm was protectively wrapped around Jan, the blonde’s honey waves swirling round her face. Jan’s dress unlike Jackie’s was a warm purple, falling across the floor like the princess she was, Jackie smiled down at Crystal pulling the girl onto her lap. “This one here is auntie Nicky, she used to have red hair, and this is Jaida, Bri, Pepper, Bob, Grandma is here. Chelsea, that’s mama’s friends Rose and Lagoona and this, this is Brita and that’s Aiden.” Jackie told her as she pointed at the faces in the photo. “We got married outside the theatre up the street baby, it was a very special day for me and your mama. One of the best days of my life actually.”   
……  
Jackie stood on the stage, nervous, her palms were sweaty, and her knees were shaking. She looked out into the seats, her friends and family sat waiting as their bridesmaids walked down the isle arm in arm. As Nicky and Jaida approaching the front, she felt Pepper gently tap her arm, she leaned her head back careful not to draw too much attention to herself. “relax Jacks, it’ll be fine your girl is coming you don’t wanna sweat off your makeup before she gets to see your pretty face” she whispered patting the bride’s back. Jackie had opted not to wear a veil, instead she wore flowers in her hair, she toyed nervously with the silk rose petals as the party stood. The soft sound of the violins floated through the theatre as the doors opened. Jackie craned her head, her eyes fixed on the two women walking towards her; Alexis walked along right of the isle holding her daughter by the arm, the veil obscured her face but by the way Alexis was leaning in to whisper she guessed her bride to be might be crying. As she climbed the stairs Jackie felt the butterflies, she thought she had quelled take flight around her stomach, only to be calmed by the soft scent of lavender and vanilla. Jan pushed the veil back out of her face and Jackie released a breath she didn’t realise she was holding. She was beautiful, there were no tear marks much to Jackie’s delight but she did notice a glassiness to the blondes azure eyes. She took her soft palm in her own intertwining her fingers with Jan’s, she blushed slightly feeling giddy, the sparks from their first meeting never seemed to fade. The service was a blur until she reached her vows, fumbling her way through with little grace. Jan’s soft giggles made the embarrassment worth it, Jan as usual got through her own vows with grace, poise and excitement her voice vibrating of the walls as she spoke. They exchanged rings and languid glances, their fingers brushing against the soft skin. “You may now kiss the bride” echoed through Jackie’s skull as she leaned in soft lips meeting her own, the kiss was long, tender, needy if Alexis hadn’t have coughed she doubted she’d have been able to stop. Walking hand in hand with her wife down the isle seared into her mind, Jan leaning her head on her shoulder humming hopelessly devoted as they walked, the train of her dress swishing against Jackie’s ankles. Jackie shut her eyes as the sunlight hit her face, in that moment she seared the images into her memory, the light working as her camera flash. She promised herself she would remember this moment as long as she lived, pressing a soft kiss on the blonde’s temple as she dragged her off to get a real photo taken.  
……  
Crystal nodded along to her story jotting everything down in her glittery book, slamming it shut and tackling Jackie into a hug. The brunette held her close, kissing her forehead and petting her hair. “Mommy one day I’m gonna marry a pretty girl too” Jackie smiled petting her hair and hummed “maybe a boy Crys, either way I hope you grow up happy whatever you do.” “Eww! Mommy no boys are gross!” she huffed, giggling as Jackie pulled her in closer laughing herself.   
Jan came home in the evening to find her girls curled up on the couch arm in arm, she kicked off her heels sitting beside them still in her costume. “Jan, you’re as beautiful as the day I met you did I ever tell you that?” Jackie greeted her, smiling as she noticed the red flush across the blonde’s ears. “every other day gorge” she chuckled, kissing her softly, opening her arms for the little girl as she felt her arms wrap around her. “Mama, I did a interview and mommy told me about how you met!” she yelled beaming. Jan’s face fell, she looked at Jackie in horror her voiced raised to dangerously high pitch as she calmly asked “Jackie.. did you tell my baby about me strip…dancing?” Jackie burst out laughing pulling her close “I left out the gory bits babe don’t worry, just how pretty you were and our little song” she soothed, peppering the blonde’s shoulders with kisses. She realised her mistake when the redhead looked up with an excited “there’s more?!” Jan groaned and Jackie sighed both yelling an exasperated “this is your fault.” Jackie chuckled, pulling them both close, hoping she could butter Jan up before the lights went out. She pulled Jan close, whispering sweet nothings as Ratatouille played in the background. A small relived smile spreading across her lips as the blonde relaxed into her touch mumbling a muffled “we’ll talk when she’s asleep.” Jackie was a lucky woman she thought. She would personally mark this momentous day down in the history books if she could manage the impossible: get their daughter to do her homework and avoid sleeping on the couch. She glanced out the window wishing for luck as the stars shone brightly down upon the quiet streets of Hell’s kitchen.


	11. 1pm Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie hates the cold, Jackie hates winter, Jackie hates Christmas. But Jan loves it, opposites attract she guesses.  
> Jackie and Jan try to plan a perfect Christmas: Alternative title Jackie sucks at feelings but she tries her best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I write a Christmas chapter in July? Yes, Yes I did.  
> Thanks for all the Kudos and comments hope you guys are enjoying this so far!  
> Looking forward to writing the next chapter maybe MAYBE I'll add the get dusted girls.  
> Drink water and stay safe!

Jan loved winter, she loved the snow, she loved the twinkling of the lights and she loved her memories of winter’s past. Christmas was her favourite holiday; she adored every little tradition her parents had created and handed down. Jackie meanwhile hated the cold winter month, she couldn’t stand the frigid weather, her mood dropping with the temperature preferring to be snuggled up in blankets more than anything else. Since meeting Jan, her hatred for the winter months had somewhat subsided, watching the sparkle in Jan’s eyes or the soft flush of her cheeks almost made winter bearable. This year however, things were different, they had Crystal, her first Christmas with them was nothing special, the girl had a panic attack, they had spent the day in bed no celebration whatsoever, just cuddles and comfort. It was worth it Jackie was able to bond with her and after that day Crys would follow. This year, Jan had made Jackie swear they’d make the biggest effort possible for their little girl. The determination in her eyes and her puppy dog face combined held her hostage, there was no way she could say no. 

That is how Jackie found herself out in the cold, wrapped up in three sweaters a coat and scarf watching her wife and daughter wonder round a lot full of trees. Crystal would be the one to pick the tree they had decided, Jackie watched in amusement as she ran from tree to tree, wrapping her arms around the trunk before declaring “no this one is mean” or “this one feels too cold.” She surely was a special girl, Jackie thought. The little redhead’s yellow coat disappeared for a moment Jan sped up behind her, but they couldn’t spot the canary shade anywhere. Jackie was about to run to the help desk before a little cry of “Mama I found it” came from the back of the lot. They ran over to the tiny girl her hands placed on the rough bark of a short tree. Jackie chuckled, the tree was short, a little mangled on the bottom left but it looked like something out of a cartoon. She was going to protest but the blonde stopped her. “this your tree Cryssy?” she asked softly. The redhead nodded, wrapping her arms around the blonde’s neck begging to be picked up. As Jan stood up Jackie sneaked up behind them wrapping her arms round her wife. “let’s get her home then babies” Jackie cooed, earning an elbow to the ribs from Jan and a kiss on the forehead from Crystal. They walked hand in hand to the entrance, the tree would be delivered later in the day swinging Crystal by her arms. Jan begged Jackie to walk home through the snow, Jackie longing to protest, but looking down at the little gremlin holding onto her hand she had a better idea. “Cryssy lets get cocoa baby mamas gonna treat us on the way back, maybe if you’re reaaaally good she’ll buy you a cake pop too” she chuckled, grinning smugly at her wife. Jan chuckled peppering lip-gloss tainted kisses over Jackie’s face, making sure to leave a bright pink mark on her cheek. They loved to tease each other at any given opportunity, it seemed today would be one of those days where they’d annoy the living shit out of each other in the daytime and make up when Crystal went to sleep. As promised Jan brought them treats on the way home, they walked hand in hand down the icy streets until Crystal tugged on Jackie’s coat sleeve. “Birdy? Are you slipping sweetie?” she cooed, looking down at her legs, the girl was pigeon toed, almost like a baby giraffe trying to take its first steps. The sharp nod was all the confirmation she needed, the brunette hoisted her onto her hip settling her comfortably as she reached for Jan’s hand, the blonde’s fingers icy through her gloves. “girls lets pick up the pace, you’re freezing” she declared rubbing her thumb over the back of Jan’s hand. “you want your cookies” she continued tickling the girl’s side, feeling the small body shift, huddling in closer for warmth despite her mother’s torment. “And I want the blankets.” As they walked, Crystal peaked out room her safe place in Jackie’s warm arms to watch the snow fall from the sky, like glitter from the shaker, she snuggled up closer to her mother wishing winter would never end.  
….  
The lead up to Christmas was always hectic with the purple whirlwind that was Jan behind the wheel. The tree had been decorated, Crystal’s little blue barbie sat proudly on top where a star should be. They'd gone for walks through the city to look at the lights, stopping in at different cafe's if a holiday treat caught Crystal's attention; Jackie swore had never drank this much cocoa in her life. They had gone skating, much to Jackie’s delight, the ice reminding her of the winters of her childhood, of Canada and her dad. Crystal was a natural and Jan was like a calf on stilts, but she still somehow managed to have fun much to Jackie’s amusement and annoyance. She often wondered how her brain perceived the blonde’s flailing limbs as endearing. But it did, and she had kissed every bruise she gained from the rink when they’d returned home. They’d survived Christmas shopping, Jan dragging Jackie through every overpriced kid’s store to settle on the perfect gift, the brunette grumbling behind her the entire time. She carried a plethora of paper shopping bags, not because her wife asked her to but because she feared the blonde would smash the contents with her enthusiastic, unpredictable arm movements. Crystal meanwhile had spent the day with Jaida and Nicky, Jaida introducing her to a Muppet's Christmas Carol, while Nicky sneaked her “Christmas coffee” behind Jaida’s back. It was December, rum laced coffee at ten in the morning was just part of the holiday spirit in the Parisian’s books.

On Christmas Eve, Jackie watched from the couch as Jan, Alexis and Crystal baked cookies. Jackie had been banned from the kitchen the previous year for her tendency to start fires. Even if they were small and containable the Mantione women cautioned her, claiming Crystal needed to earn without a fire hazard to worry about. She couldn’t help but listen in, her eyes fixed on the oldest woman. Alexis had her hands over Crystal’s, standing behind her. “and now you squish it all together like play dough!” she encouraged, clapping her batter covered hands as the small fingers mixed the gingerbread. “Like this grandma?” she chirped, Jackie rolled her eyes, her baby would do anything for Alexis’ attention, sometimes she swore the girl believed Alexis hung the moon and farted rainbows. Her thoughts drifted to her own mother, wondering how she would be around her granddaughter. Would she be standing in Alexis’ place, teaching the girl Iranian cuisine, would she let Jan help or banish her from the kitchen to sit with Jackie. She sighed slightly at the bitter thought, catching a glimpse of blonde from the corner of her eye. “Jannie come give me attention I’m bored” she whined, making grabby hands at the younger woman. Jan scoffed placing herself down on Jackie’s lap, teasing her between kisses “what are you five? I’m here give me sugar, mommy.” Jackie almost swallowed her tongue at the words, she playfully slapped her across the ass “naughty, careful or Santa baby won’t give you any presents tomorrow.” She mused, pulling the blonde closer. 

Her phone, as usual interrupted them with its obnoxious Madonna ringtone, she sighed, her mother wanted to face time. Jan scanned the screen quickly, making a beeline for the kitchen as the brunette stayed on the couch. She quickly answered the phone with a strained “Hey mom, how are you?” smiling as her father appeared on screen beside her. The pair looked older, Jackie had never really noticed their ageing until the white hairs began to frame her father’s face and the subtle wrinkles appeared on her mother’s forehead. “we’re fine, fine. Jaqueline, how are you dear? Are you coming home this year? Maybe we could visit New York?” her mother said, her voice laced with a slight hint of sadness. She smiled, her mother’s smile forming too “sure mom, come on over maybe for New Year? You can meet my … you can meet Jan and Crys too.” Her dad chuckled, her mother clicked her tongue “Jackie…sweetheart you’re thirty-one years old, you can tell us the truth you know?” Jackie’s world span, she breathed deeply or a second. “The truth?” she asked, watching her mother’s expression soften “this Jan…Jan of yours she must be or he…your boyfriend… girlfriend?” her mother said softly, no trace of anger in her voice. Who was this woman? Where was she when Jackie came out before college, where was she when she demanded Jackie be fixed, change herself, find a nice man and get over it. No. she was in the past, Jackie reminded herself, they were making progress her grudge would hold her back. “Mom… dad… you missed a lot. She’s my wife, Cryssy... Cryssy is your granddaughter.” She stumbled, her heartbeat was strong in her throat until laughter filled the room, through the tinny speakers. “Finally,” her mother said wrapping her arms around her father’s neck “a girl, a girl. Our Jackie.” Jackie caught the tears in her eyes, a weight had been lifted, it felt safer. Her father's subtle wink told her all she needed to know, they knew, of course they knew she'd always been a shitty liar. Her father shifted his eyes back to the camera “so Jackie can we see your girls?” he asked chuckling. She nodded, calling them in, Jan called back apologetically her hands still in the oven. Crystal on the other hand bounced into the room, flour on her cheeks, her curls bouncing as she ran. Jackie placed her phone on the table, propping it up so she could still be seen. “Cryssy sit on mommy’s lap granny and grandpa want to say hi.” She said, a soft smile spreading on her own lips as Crystal’s smile lit up her face, she clambered onto her mother’s lap kneeing her in the shin on her accent. “Bony legs, careful” she chuckled, trying to hide her painful groan, her parents were laughing relishing their pain. “She’s just like you were Jackie” her father cooed, “pain in the ass?” Jackie teased earning a bray of laughter from her mother. Crystal said nothing, she was focused on their faces, leaning forward on Jackie’s knee. Jackie held her steady to stop her falling. “hello pretty girl, hello, look at your hair, Jackie do you tie ribbons? She’d look so very sweet with bows and ribbons.” Her mother cooed; her eyes fixed on the girl. Crystal waved awkwardly “hi granny..grandpa” she said, turning to Jackie earning a nod. The call was awkward but by the end Crystal seemed happy snuggling up into Jackie’s sweater. “Mommy? I like em” Crystal said, nodding thoughtfully, Jackie chuckled grabbing the remote off the counter. “what shall we watch today?” she asked, flicking through the channels until Crystal pulled on her sleeve at an old planet of the apes re-run. Jan had found her way into the room, grimacing at the old re-run she cuddled up int Jackie’s side “mom’s gone home she’ll be coming round tomorrow” she said, kissing the older woman’s cheek. Jackie nodded holding her closer. Tomorrow would be Christmas. Usually Jackie loathed it but this year, things would be different she was sure.  
…..

In the morning, Jackie remembered why she hated Christmas. It was seven am and she was being woken up, Jan usually never set an alarm, she could wake up fine she assumed it was to force Jackie out of bed. She wrapped her warm robe around her body, padding her way down into the kitchen in search of coffee. She grabbed her mug, almost shooting her first cup. She thanked those nights Jan had forced her out to fire island for the practise in these moments. As she poured her second cup she took in the room before her, the colourful tree hung in the corner, decorated with reds, blues, greens and purples. Jan, sat quietly, maybe not even aware of Jackie yet arranging the presents into little piles. Crystal’s half wrapped in colourful patterned paper and half in glittery yellows. Mommies and Santa Jackie had told her when she purchased them. The blonde stood, looking over at the brunette. Jackie grinned, holding her arms open, Jackie wanted to take her there against the counter. The brunette only now realising why Jan had forced her awake, one of her favourite presents on Christmas morning was her wife. The blonde stood before her in a lacy red nightgown, barely grazing the tops of her thighs. “good morning beautiful” she greeted, kissing and biting at the blonde’s neck. Jan chuckled kissing the shell of her ear with a whispered “Happy Christmas Jacqueline.” The older woman lifted her into her arms, Jan instinctively wrapping her arms around her neck. Jackie slammed the door behind them, coffee could wait, she was certain she wouldn’t be going back to sleep anytime soon.

By ten they were both dressed, Jan’s hair and makeup done flawlessly as usual, Jackie choosing something more comfortable but still managing to look ethereal. Jan grumbled tying a cute pink scarf around her neck, checking to see if it looked out of place in the mirror, Jackie chuckled pulling her close. “you look great, sorry about the bruises” she said softly, Jan slapped her ass playfully in return “liar, come on I hear footsteps birdy must be up.” They walked to the living room finding Crystal stood in the doorway in pure shock. The little girl had dressed herself in a glittery pink monstrosity of a tea dress, puffy sleeves and beading as far as the eyes could see she suspected Alexis may have been the source of the monstrosity. But she was happy, Jackie knew she shouldn’t complain. Jan sauntered over to her, kneeling down to hug her tightly “Happy Christmas birdy! Santa left you a whole lot this year” she cooed, bopping her nose. She hugged the blonde tightly, springing from her lap over to Jackie. She stooped, holding the girl tightly in her arms. “morning birdy, Happy Christmas. Do you want to do presents first or breakfast?” she asked, brushing the curls out of Crystal’s eyes. “Presents please!” she yelled running towards a small pile, instead of her own she grabbed two badly wrapped gifts one in red and the other in purple. Jan sat herself down on the floor, Jackie preferring the couch watching as the little girl thrust them into their faces with a loud “Happy Christmas.” Jackie unwrapped her gift in silence, holding an arm out for the girl as she unwrapped a star trek necklace, gold small with a small red gem in the centre. “Baby where did you get this? Thank you its perfect.” she cried, quickly putting it on, glancing over at Jan’s gift a pair of silver microphone earrings she herself was putting in. “I did good?” she asked, looking up at her mother her green eyes sparkling in anticipation, “you did great Crys” she said, ruffling the girls hair.  
They sat on the floor opening gifts, Jackie’s mostly clothes and books, Jan’s mostly makeup and accessories and Crystal’s all brightly coloured. Alexis had arrived, pulling Crystal onto her lap where the girl had remained for most of the morning. One present stood unopened, Alexis finally letting the girl down onto the floor her, the girl ran her hand along the paper. It was big, she looked over to Jan hesitantly, Jackie could feel the nerves radiating off the little body in front of her. Jan crawled over holding the girl’s hand in her own “no baby, no tears its not too expensive let mommy and mama treat you okay? Its not often we get each other big things I promise. Just for your birthday and Christmas we want to spoil our favourite daughter.” Crystal nodded her shoulders viably relaxing at the words. Crystal had grown a lot over the year, but she still got nervous around money, Jackie understood she couldn’t imagine going through what their daughter had been through. She paused in her thoughts, so that’s why Jan wanted to make a big deal out of it, sometimes for the smart one Jackie was dense. She was a nervous wreck on legs but Jan and honestly Alexis were emotional academics, the Mantione women really did have a way with words. Jackie moved to the floor giggling as scraps of paper flew left and right, decorating the floor with yellow glitter. The redhead squealed, throwing herself at both parents with open arms, Jackie kissed her forehead lovingly who knew an easel would get them this kind of reaction. Jan helped her set it up, throwing an old blue shirt of hers over the girl’s head “you’re messy and that dress is too pretty to ruin” she reasoned. Jackie chuckled secretly wishing the dress had been left uncovered, she knew the girl loved it but it really was atrocious. Maybe she’d take her shopping before her parents came down to spare her more nagging from her mother over the girls boisterous clothing choices, she rested her hand on her chin lost in thought for a moment but Jan sitting down in her lap was enough of a distraction.

Sure, Jackie hated winter, she loathed Christmas but maybe she’d changed her mind. She glanced around the room at a sea of familiar faces, Nicky Jaida and Brita talked animatedly in the corner, Pepper Bob and Monet were mixing some kind of “cocktail” daring Bri to take a sip of their Frankenstein beverage. Alexis was sat at the table, feeding Widow and Crystal sugar cookies much to Jackie’s dismay, they’d be hyper in an hour or so; she wished she knew what her wife put in those things. Chelsea, Kizha, Rose and Lagoona singing "I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause" in the corner. She sipped on her wine, walking out on the balcony whereas expected her wife was leaning out over the city streets. “Jannie?” she cooed softly, the blonde lifted her head smiling radiantly, she held her arms out making grabby hands. “baby” Jackie teased, pulling her close, their bodies melding together. “Why’re you out here cutie?” she asked, running a finger through her honey scented tresses, Jan’s lifted her head planting a soft kiss on her lips “wanted to watch the snow and I knew you’d follow me” she simpered, wrapping her arms round Jackie’s waist. There they stayed, kissing, bodies wrapped together as the snow fell like a blanket, covering the city streets below. Sure Jackie hated Christmas but she’d be the first to admit Christmas with her wife by her side had its perks.


	12. Lost at 3pm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie is a hard-head once she has been convinced she is very hard to argue with, even if its obvious to everyone around her she is wrong. Jan's upset, Crystal is scared. How the hell do you lose a kid that loud?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments! Working on the next chapter and a little something else.  
> I know someone earlier on said they'd like to see what Jan and Jackie got up to behind close doors, so I might write a little side piece and post it separately if that's something people would want to read let me know!   
> Next chapter: Jackie's parents. 
> 
> Stay safe, stay hydrated. see you in the next one! ^-^

Jackie was hyper-focused, they would be flying to Canada for New Year. Something she hadn’t done in years, which could only mean one thing in true Jackie Cox fashion she was panicking. This meant they would need new winter clothing, a little suitcase for Crystal, physical gifts for her parents rather than the usual gift cards she’d send. She paced the bedroom writing her list out onto her phone as Jan and Crystal played Mario kart in the corner, Crystal was winning leaving the blonde pouting melodramatically. “Jackie, chill we can hear your brain from here gorge” Jan soothed, reaching out a hand to rub her wife’s leg as she passed. Anxiety radiated from Jackie, when she got anxious, she got pedantic. Jan felt in her gut the trip would end in disaster hyper focused Jackie was an endearing perfectionist, anxious Jackie an overthinker and worrier constantly looking for validation in her actions but the two combined were Jan’s worst nightmare. She loved Jackie with every fibre of her being but that didn’t mean they didn’t annoy each other sometimes. All good couples fought but made up again, for Jackie it was Jan’s nativity and rashness that gave her grief and for Jan it was Jackie’s overbearing know-it-all moments. Hoping to alleviate some of Jackie’s stress she nudged Crystal getting the girl to dress herself and grabbed her own bag and shoes, waiting by the door. She really hoped their trip to the mall would be pleasant this time, for her sanity’s sake. The shorter woman wrapped her arms around her wife as they left the house, kissing her cheeks “relax gorge we’ll be fine” she cooed. Jackie nodded, holding onto Crystal’s hand as they walked, she could do shopping she told herself repeatedly in her head. “Fake it until you make it” Monet had told her, she gathered up her courage feeling much more confident halfway through the journey, the mall would be fine; a walk in the park she could do this.   
……..  
Crystal, however, hated shopping; she hated the big crowds at the mall they made her feel nervous. She hated the way babies screamed, people yelled, and the music clashed in her ears, she hated the way her mother’s stopped for ages and ages just to pick up one thing. Most of all she hated that they wouldn’t hold her. She knew she was a big girl; she knew she could walk very well, run very fast and hold herself just fine but when she got scared, more often than not she liked to be held; it helped her calm down. Jackie unfortunately for her, had washed Ugly birdy the night before, he was still hanging out on the balcony to dry so she didn’t even have her anxiety buddy to calm her down. She anxiously tapped her foot, playing with the ends of her shirt as Jackie picked up another useless house item. Jan noticed the girl, scooping her up for a moment holding her close before Jackie shook her head “Jan come on we talked about this Cryssy is a big girl she can do it.” Jackie chided. Crystal whined as Jan put her down shooting her an apologetic look, hoping Jackie was right.   
Jan was mad, she didn’t care what Pepper said or other parents believed she cared about Crystal, she knew her daughter better than anyone else and they could stick it. But Jackie, Jackie was easy to influence, Monet innocently commented on how much they picked her up, then Aja had said Dahlia would reject all human contact, finally Heidi’s mother, while holding her had commented on how sweet it was that Crystal liked to be picked up so much. Somehow this had clicked the cogs in Jackie’s mind into gear, her rational brain concluding that Crystal shouldn’t be held so much. Earlier in the week she had told her that Jan was banned from picking her up and cuddles would become an inside thing. Both the blonde and the redhead argued it but once Jackie had her mind made up it was hard to fight her. She knelt down to soothe the girl offering her a hand, but she turned away. Jan had to pretend she didn’t see the betrayal written all over her face to stop herself from crying too. Crystal absentmindedly reached for a soft blanket on a low shelf, rubbing her hand over the fuzzy surface she turned to her mommy, about to ask for it but the woman was already at the end of the isle, calling or her to hurry up. She hesitated, dropping the source of her newfound comfort, the familiar butterflies waking in her tummy as she ran to catch up. She wrapped her arms around her body walking beside her mothers’, dejected, scared and angry. This was exactly why she hated shopping.   
They walked from store to store, Crystal closing in on herself. Jackie mistook the silence for Crystal’s complacency and independence a proud smile on her ace as she offered words of encouragement to her daughter. While the more observant Jan tried not to focus on the little shivers her daughter made, the disapproving looks from her wife and hand swats made it near impossible to comfort the girl. “Jacks…I know you think you’re helping but she’s scared, she needs me let me hold her please.” Jan hissed under her breath, begging whatever deity was watching to let Jackie see sense “Jan she’s old enough to not be babied like that all the time we’ll hurt her more later if we keep it up.” Jackie said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders for emphasis “she’s five Jackie, not twelve she needs this why can’t you get it into your head she needs this.” She fired back, the blonde visibly upset “Dahlia, Gigi and Rock don’t get carried, do they? They’re fine.” Jackie said, Jan huffing in response “so is Heidi and she gets picked up more than Cryssy does, besides none of them are Crystal. Jackie she’s different.” The couple’s hushed argument got progressively more heated, they walked, and they talked, angrily hissing bitter disagreements until Jan snapped. “For fucks sake Jacqueline I love you but you of all people should get that she has anxiety. Being held helps her cope isn’t that obvious? She gets scared she makes grabby hands, people yell, and she clings to your leg, she needs this Jackie this isn’t helping” the blonde cried, tears forming in her eyes. The brunette shook her head, pulling the blonde into a hug muttering soft apologies into her ear. “You’re right I’m sorry, you know how I get hen people are looking at me why don’t we just grab Cryssy and take her to… Janice…” she paused looking down at the empty isle behind her. “Where the fuck is Crystal?” she yelled. Panic set in and the couple frantically searched the isles, but the girl was nowhere to be seen.  
…………..  
Crystal wandered the noisy mall, her hands covering her ears as she walked, she felt scared, she needed her mama, mommy, she needed something warm, anything. She sunk down to her knees, rocking back and forth, she sniffled burying her head into her knees. She was about to burst into tears, her chest swelled, her hands felt shaky, but she was brought to her senses by a swift kick to her shin. “Ow!” she yelled, looking up at a girl standing in front of her, her long pink hair falling over her shoulders and her hands on her hips. “Oh, crap you’re not Lux” she said kneeling beside the girl, “I’m sorry I thought you were my friend I’m Daegen, I’m sorry I kicked you please don’t cry.” Crystal rubbed her eyes and stood up, her legs shaking slightly “I’m Crystal, I’m lost” she said, smiling weakly. “Lets go to the playpark Crystal find my friends and we’ll help you find your mommy and daddy” she said triumphantly dragging the redhead behind her “I don’t have a dad, just mommy and mama” she corrected, following the girl watching the soft pink hair bounce wondering if the pink was natural. She had never seen pink hair before, it looked really cool. “That’s cool, c’mon we’re nearly there.” Deagen yelled pulling Crystal faster towards the plastic climbing frame mounted in the centre of the mall. They climbed up the plastic, Deagen hollering to another two girls, one short blonde and the other a tall black-haired girl. “Crystal this is Daya and Lux, girls this is Crystal.” She said, letting the other girls dive onto the redhead. “I like your necklaces, you’re pretty, how does your hair do that” the blonde asked, rapid fire questions flowing from her lips in record speed. “Thanks, thanks and it just grows like that” she answered equally fast, the other two shocked anybody could keep up with Lux’s hyperactivity. “Deagen we’re keeping her!” Daya yelled, flopping onto the redhead and greeting her with a hug. “Crystal do you like dinosaurs?” Daya asked, the girl nodding vigorously with a smile in response. “Cool let me tell you about my Dayasaurs!” the dark-haired girl grinned as the other two yelled out in discontent. Crystal sat down on the plastic floor wondering why the other two seemed to hate the giant lizard creatures so much.  
After a while of hanging out, the girls had renamed themselves get dusted. Lux, who turned out to be the youngest of the group had slipped off the slide falling face first into a dusty mat, Daya yelling out “get dusted!” as she stood up. Crystal settled herself on Deagen’s back, the girls chasing each other around the play area playing chicken, she pushed at Lux lightly giggling as she slipped back and tumbled into the colourful balls below. She let out a soft yelp standing up in fits of giggles clinging onto Daya who had thrown Lux back behind her. She was still nervous, she didn’t know where her parents were sure but her bitter thoughts told her she was better off here with the girls. If her mother’s cared they’d come look for her. She felt guilty for a moment, remembering the feelings of Jan’s soft hands on her back but shook them off remembering Jackie’s scolding. It was dumb, she was scared, was being scared a bad thing? She thought, only to be pushed over into the balls by Deagen. She stood up shaking out her curls to tackle the pink haired girl back down falling into a hug. It must have been nearly an hour the girls had been playing until a loud voice called out “Daya! Lux! Come on girl’s we’re going home now!” Both girls whined hugging Deagen and Crystal goodbye, a tall dark-haired woman coming towards them knelt down and hugged the two girls. She greeted Deagen and looked over at Crystal “Oh, who’s this girl’s she’s new” the lady asked, Crystal stared up at her in awe. Her voice was different, strange, a high pitched with a southern twang, she’d never heard a voice like that before. “This is Crystal” Daya said “she’s our new fiend Deagen found her!” The woman turned to Deagen smiling “Deagen hun, what do you mean you found her?” she chuckled, ruffling the girls pink hair, waving to an older man Crystal assumed to be Deagen’s father sat on the bench. “She’s lost, we found her.” She replied, not realising the gravity of her words, the woman’s face fell, she knelt down to Crystal quickly reaching out and holding the girl’s arm.   
Crystal panicked, she tried to pull away “No, let go, ow no hurts.” She cried out, the grip was light but fear made her body burn, her tummy began to hurt so she wiggled, reaching out for Deagen. The woman loosened her grip but held her firm “Hey, hey, Crystal? I’m not gonna hurt you lets go find your parents. You want to find them don’t you?” she cooed trying to soothe the little redhead. Crystal looked down at the floor her tummy was doing flips inside her, she just wanted to sleep, to be held, the noises were ringing in her ears again. She knew what anxiety was, she knew how to calm down but she didn’t have mama, she didn’t have her bird and she didn’t have anything soft to hold. She breathed deeply whimpering “I…. want …..mama” between deep breaths. The woman stared at the child confused, she had never had a kid react like this with her before. She gently touched the girl’s palm, trying to figure out what was happening “Crystal? Can you talk to me? “ she asked. The girl nodded, keeping her eyes on the floor “what’s wrong hun? What’s happening right now” she asked, waiting as the girl tried to find her words “I…anxi…ang…ang-si-ee-ty…my tummy hurts..” she sniffled, she couldn’t manage anymore her throat felt scratchy, like a little cat was scrambling up her windpipe. The woman’s face softened, she understood, she called over the man whispering in his ear as Deagen held Crystal’s. Crystal’s head felt fuzzy she just wanted to sleep, so she curled up on the floor hoping for the best.  
……….  
Jan sprinted through the mall, Jackie trying to keep up, but she could not. She wasn’t as athletic, Jan on a mission was like a dog out o the gate chasing the rabbit, Jan was lean, whippet quick and light on her feet. She could tell the blonde was mad, mad at Jackie for being hard-headed, mad at herself for not holding her own and even more mad that she’d let go of the girl’s hand for even a second. “Jan slow down we won’t find her with you running around like a lunatic, we could go talk to mall security and find her there.” She rationalised, holding onto the blonde’s hand, wiping the tears from her eyes. She felt awful but held her fear in, both Jan and Crystal needed her to be strong in that moment. The blonde cried out “No, she needs us, she needs me Jackie she’s only this big” she gestured with her flailing hand “she can’t even run that far without getting tired how the fuck did we lose her?” Jackie cooed her walking hand in hand towards the centre of the mall when she heard it, that high-pitched wail she dreaded, her blood ran cold but her feet sprang into gear, Jan freeing herself from Jackie’s hand and sprinting off toward the noise yelling “Crystal” at the top of her lungs.   
Inside the playground the two adults were trying to figure out what to do with the wailing child sat in front of them when they heard a shrill yell, they whipped their head round to see a young blonde sprinting towards them. The woman smiled, leaning down to Crystal “Crystal honey? Is that your mama over there can you look up?” she asked. The redhead snapped her neck up squealing at the sight of Jan her arms swinging out as she tried to pull herself to her feet. “Mama” she cried as the blonde steadied herself kneeling in front of her and scooping her up into her arms. She shushed the girl, rocking her gently feeling the brush of the curls under her chin as the girl wept into her varsity jacket. Crystal snuggled deep into her mama’s jacket, the smell of lavender and vanilla calming her down, for the first time since entering the mall her tummy felt still, she wrapped her arms round her back whimpering apologies into the blondes shoulder. “No baby, no I’m sorry we should have been with you I should have held your hand. Crystal Elizabeth you did nothing wrong okay baby? Okay I’m sorry” she whispered sympathetically, turning to the other adults and thanking them for looking after Crystal. The older woman shook her head slightly “Hey lil thing don’t you sorry us, we lose em’ sometimes I left Daya in the clinic for an hour once she’s all good, it happens to the best of us.” She said kindly smiling. They exchanged numbers as Jackie caught up, watching the scene from a distance. Relaxing as she caught sight of Crystal in Jan’s arms where she belonged. A pang of guilt struck her as she caught sight of Crystal’s tired swollen eyes, she looked as if she’d fall asleep right there. They’d talk at home. She decided.   
…..  
That evening, Jan huddled Crystal in thick blankets, they’d eaten taco bell at Crystal’s request with extra cinnamon twists, she had been washed in bubble bath and was dressed in her softest monster onesie cuddled up to the blonde. She felt much calmer, but she wanted the comfort her mama’s warm body provided, snuggling into her, adoring the attention she was receiving. Jackie sat on the couch letting the girl settle beside her before she started. “Crystal, Jan, we need to talk.” She said, two sets of eyes shifting to her, the blue eyes seemed sympathetic but she was not expecting the hurt in her daughters’ face. She gently shifted taking the girl from her mother’s lap into her own, Crystal at first protested but quickly snuggled up into the familiar jasmine scented sweater her mother wore. “Mommy’s sorry angel, I’m so so sorry, I should have listened to you not the outside world what do they know?” kissing the girl’s forehead. “I know you’re a big girl, you can do lots of things by yourself, but mommy was a little scared we babied you too much sometimes, but I was wrong. You’re so brave Cryssy the bravest little girl in the world and if you need cuddles sometimes to get through the day that doesn’t make you any less brave.” Crystal nodded, smiling weakly at her mother burrowing her face into the soft fabric. She was too tired to move so she curled up on Jackie’s chest to sleep. The brunette petted her hair, shifting her attention to the blonde. “No Jack’s that’s not gonna work with me gorge I’m still mad at you.” She said, keeping her feelings hidden with the look on her face. She reached out and took the girls hands “You don’t listen to me sometimes Jacks I’m a big girl too I’m your wife listen to me first at least hear me out you can’t make choices for us without talking to me.” Jackie nodded kissing her apologetically “I’m sorry Jannie I really am, I promise I’ll listen more I promise” she whispered, squeezing the blonde’s hands reassuringly. They carried Crystal to her room in silence, tucking her in with Ugly birdy and Vodka by her side. Jackie even set the walkie-talkie up by the side of her bed in case her nightmares decided to rear their ugly head.   
She dragged Jan out into the hallway, taking her wrists an pulling her close “how can I make it up to you princess?” she asked, her lips finding Jan’s sweet spot on the side of her neck. Jan’s eyes fluttered shut pushing her away playfully “playing dirty, Jackie that’s mean.” She chuckled, pulling her closer, “well? How can I make it up to you my angel.” She asked, Jan chuckled wrapping her arms round Jackie’s neck. “hmm you could listen to me next time that’s what I really want but for now maybe you could pick me up, take me to the bedroom and help me relax?” she purred, kissing Jackie’s neck, playfully nipping at her jaw. “My legs hurt from all the running” she whined. Jackie rolled her eyes slapping her ass gently before bridal carrying her to the end. She laid her down on the bed, running her fingers over her sides, admiring the beauty that was her wife. As she got up to shut the door, she smiled to herself. They would talk more tomorrow, she knew they needed to but for tonight, they could just have fun.


	13. 10am hikes in Halifax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie's gone to visit her parents in Canada taking Crys and Jan along or the ride. Things are awkward but she can make it work right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter! Working on the next one and hopefully that'll be up soon.  
> The Jankie side story is also in the works (Its going to have a very different tone to this one might be a one shot maybe a three/four part who knows!)   
> Hope you are all well, safe and drinking water.  
> Until the next time!

Jackie gripped onto Jan’s shoulder as they walked through the gate, Jan’s soft skin giving her comfort. She hated flying; she was glad to be back on land again. She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, turning on her heels, she held out her hand “Jannie you don’t need to carry all of that I can take some bags.” The blonde was holding three carry-ons in one arm and had a sleeping Crystal in the other, her eyes drooping slightly. Jackie brushed her palm over the blonde’s shoulder, running her hand down her arm to take the bags. “I’m fine gorge, lead the way” Jan chirped, careful not to wake the girl in her arms. Crystal it turned out was as terrible at flying as her mother, she wasn’t scared she liked the air and the clouds, but she’d felt ill the entire flight. Jan coaxing both to relax until Crystal had fallen asleep and Jackie had cuddled up into her side. The blonde herself looked tired it was 6 in the morning, momentarily the brunette felt guilty for waking her so early to save a bit of money but shook her head. Jan was an early riser anyway, Jackie gently ran a finger through her hair tucking it behind her ear lovingly, delighting as she pressed a chaste kiss to the inside of her palm. “Okay princess, lets go my dad’ll be here soon to pick us up, we can rest when we get there.” She smiled gently, they collected their luggage, Jackie dealt with the rigmarole of the airport quickly. She hated customs, as soon as they were through, she pulled Jan close to her, the shorter woman shifting making sure she didn’t wake Crystal but wrapped herself around her wife. They were both tired, Jackie just wanted to nap but she caught a twinkle in Jan’s eye. The blonde loved to travel, Jackie wondered if she’d ever been to Canada before. She checked her phone, guiding the blonde through the maze of an airport out towards the parking lot. It was brisk, but not too cold, the sun shining down on the snow with a twinkling gleam that stole Jackie’s breath.

She caught sight of the rusted red pick up out of the corner of her eyes. Her dad was sentimental, even though the truck was beat he still drove it. Jackie sprinted across the parking lot, holding out her arms as she embraced her father he smelt like sandalwood and home, a feeling she hadn’t experienced in years. She sighed contently “Dad I missed you, how have you been?” she asked, smiling brightly at the older man. “Hey Trekkie baby, I’ve been fine missed you too. Lets get her all loaded up and get back to the house you must be exhausted.” He chuckled, ruffling her hair slightly as he took the bags from the staggering blonde. “Dad this is Jan, Jannie this is my dad, you’ll love each other I’m sure he’s soccer obsessed too babe.” Jan smiled gleefully, hugging him gently careful not to disturb the sleeping girl in her arms. “Wow what a beauty you are, my girl really knows how to pick em huh? And a sports fan too” he whistled, clapping Jan playfully across the back. “And this little munchkin must be Crystal? Such a cutie, she looks like you Janice” he cooed, kneeling down to get a better look. Crystal, now half awake waved sleepily before turning back into her mother’s soft hoodie snuggling in to steal her body heat. Jan was about to correct him but Jackie ushered her into the car with a “dad we talked about this, she’s a sweetie for sure though” sitting down beside the blonde. They fell into an easy conversation throughout the drive. Jan and her father hit it off naturally, Crystal however was much more reserved holding onto Jackie’s hand for comfort. Jackie could feel her shake slightly, she pointed at things out of the window telling her facts and stories about the great Canadian outdoors. Her face lit up as she listened snuggling into Jackie’s side as they drove towards the suburbs. Jackie glanced over at the shorter woman catching her eyes shutting, blinking open and shutting again on occasion she leaned over to kiss her cheek. “Janice, there is plenty of time to sight see let’s take a nap hm?” she asked, rubbing soft circles on her shoulders. Jan whimpered tiredly, “when we get to the room” she affirmed, laying back against the brunette much to the annoyance of her father. “Girls, come on seat-belts better to be safe than sorry.” He chided, Jackie felt like a teenager again, a normal teenager who had normal experiences like girlfriends she thought bitterly. It was strange, Jackie thought looking at the city of her childhood, quite a lot had changed in Halifax. The water was the same, always, it calmed Jackie her mind at ease as she watched the horizon. The familiar streets wove through her memory, she bit her lip would her mother be waiting outside to greet them. She wasn’t ready for the awkward conversations to come but part of her screamed with yearning. She loved her, no matter what she’d done Jackie adored her mother she just hoped, prayed that she’d show Jackie some respect this time round.  
. .......

Once settled at the house, the atmosphere was tense. Jackie and Jan had settled with her father, the pair animatedly discussing the soccer season, Jackie joined in where she could but kept a close eye on her mother as she talked to the redhead. Crystal however was enthralled, she was shy, the lady was a little scary sure, she didn’t smile much like grandma did but she was nice. “granny?” asked catching the older woman’s attention as she pointed to a photo hanging on the wall “is that mommy?” She chuckled bending down to her height, “no baby that’s me, this one is your mommy” she said, taking a photo of the shelf. Jackie cringed at Crystal’s little giggles “mommy’s pretty! The dress is funny though why is it so big?” her mother’s tongue clicking at the comment. “it’s the style of the time Crystal, things have changed a lot.” The girl nodded, wandering from picture to picture her grandmother recounting the stories behind each one. She watched her talk in awe, her stories were brilliant, like poetry they danced off her tongue around the room like a projector image. Crystal was enthralled, the reached her arms up to grab her grandmother’s skirt. Jackie was about to lunge from her seat when she saw her mother’s hand move quickly. But stopped, the woman rested her hand on Crystal’s back, embracing her. “Crystal honey, can granny do your hair? Its very pretty” she cooed. The girl nodding enthusiastically “I have glitter if that helps” she chirped, earning a laugh form the adults in the room. Jan’s hand found Jackie’s beneath the table, she squeezed, Jackie nodded. “Relax gorge, you’re doing great” she hummed, Jackie sighed again, she was right but the feeling in her gut just wouldn’t leave her be.

As dinner approached she quickly remembered why. Her mother had hardly spoken to the blonde, no matter how hard Jan tried. She doted on Crystal petting her hair, now pulled back into a ponytail with a large green bow, feeding her biscuits and telling her embracing stories from Jackie’s childhood. Crystal seemed to be arming up to her, and her father as well much to Jackie’s delight but the coldness towards her wife was unnerving. Her mother turned her sharp eyes to Jackie smiling in a sickly-sweet manner. “So Jacqueline how is the theatre business going? Have you hosted anything new?” she asked between bites. Jackie nodded smiling hopefully at her mother’s sudden interest in her passions. “Yes mom, we’re going to be running Phantom next year, I can’t wait its such a good cast.” She drawled, telling her stories with elaborate embellishments much to her parent’s delights, Jan nodded along attentively squeezing her hand under the table for reassurance. “And you Janice? Jackie told me you are a singer of sorts?” her mother said, her tone semi-condescending but she shrugged it off tuning to the blonde. “Oh yeah, I’m a singing teacher by day and a performer by night. My shows have been going really well this month thanks or asking, we’ve even got a new spot at the greenroom on Thursdays.” She chirped, her smile dazzling in Jackie’s eyes but her mother seemed less than impressed. “That’s lovely I’m sure but does it pay? Is it not dangerous for Crystal to not have her mother around at night? Are you there when she wakes up” she probed, Jan flinched but nodded graciously “I’m always there for Cryssy, right birdy? And Jacks is more than capable of taking care of her herself right gorge?” both girls nodded, Jackie wishing the floor would swallow her. She listened in slow motion, her mother’s tongue hissing and spitting like a snake in her mind until she heard the words she’d been dreading. “Oh that’s lovely, I’d always imagined Jacqueline with a doctor that’s all. Nothing personal dear, I just wish she’d be more ambitious you know settle down with a nice man and give us some grandbabies.” Jackie’s heart plummeted, she knew her mother meant well she knew her theoretical talks like the back of her hand, she was just musing but Jan looked like she’d been stabbed through the heart. He voice cracked, Jackie could pinpoint the exact moment she heard her wife’s heart shatter. “I see… well sorry I’m not a doctor… or a man but you…. You have the most b-beautiful grandchild and if its any consolation I love your daughter very much.” Jackie reached her hand under the table caressing her thigh, earning her a reprimand from her mother about PDA, the older woman continuing to ramble on about her plans for her daughter. Jan noting that none of them included anybody like her, she stood thanking them and took Crystal by the hand “I’m going for a walk. I’m taking Cryssy call me if you need me gorge” she called sadly, walking off into the snow. Jackie felt like her entire being left alongside her.  
……  
“Mom what the hell was that?” Jackie yelled frustratedly, brining her hand down on the table. “I wasn’t trying to upset her it would just be nice if-“ Jackie cut her off, holding back her screams as she spoke “Mom, she’s my wife. She’s my future I’m 31 years old its not a phase its been 15 years when are you going to accept, I’m not your perfect little Jacqueline I’m just Jackie. Jackie is a massive fucking lesbian theatre nerd with a beautiful wife and the cutest adopted baby we found on the streets at three in he morning.” She huffed. Her mother looking down at the floor in silence. “I just want what is best for you Jackie” she sighed reaching out to cup her face “you’re so grown but I feel like I hardly know you sometimes, I know the Jacqueline in my head.. not my Jackie. I’m sorry Jackie, I’m sorry.” She said, tears pricking the corner of her eyes. The taller brunette pulled her in for an embrace “mom listen, maybe we can hang out later? Go for a walk with Crys and you can really get to know us. But right now if you want that to happen you need to do two things; you need to listen to me and accept this is who I am. And you really really need to it and talk with Jan, apologise I’m a little scared she might not stay after that.” Jackie said curtly, her mother nodding in agreement “I promise Jackie I promise.” The two women sat at the table, Jackie placing her hands against the familiar old wood “can we talk? Just about you?” her mother asked, Jackie hesitated but nodded smiling after a moments contemplation “I’d like that a lot mom.” 

It was near sunset when they headed out on their walk, Crystal gripped onto her granny’s hand tightly looking up at the taller women as they talked. Her mommy looked happy, she was happy, but she felt bad. Mama was crying alone in their room she wanted to be there, but Jackie had pulled her away. She listened to her granny tell stories with glee, grinning up at the older woman. “Oh Jackie look! This dress would look darling on you.” She cooed pointing to a sixties number in a thrift shop window. Jackie shook her head laughing a little “you know what let’s try it on?” They entered the store and Crystal’s eyes widened. She was surrounded by colour, things hung from the ceiling, walls and she was pretty sure more things were hiding under the floorboards. Everything smelled weird but it was a magical place she’d never seen a bear and a dress and a blender sold in the same room. “Granny what’s this place?” she asked, pawing at her jeans. “This is a thrift store baby, its where lots of people get rid of things they don’t want anymore but a lot of the things here are very nice aren’t they?” the redhead nodded reaching out for a flowery beaded necklace. Her granny stood, grabbing it off the shelf and holding it up for her “this one? Very pretty my little maple leaf” she cooed, taking down more jewellery for the girl. They walked down the isle talking about school, work, life in Canada, Crystal’s friends in New York and more. Every few minutes her grandmother stopping to make Jackie try on another outfit, Crystal bouncing on her toes when her mommy reappeared. They were fun clothes, lots of colours and Crystal loved to see her mommy worry free. Today had been good she decided. They walked home as the sun began to go down. Crystal cuddling up to her granny’s leg. She was excited for the next day maybe they’d play in the snow or maybe grandpa would take her fishing like he promised. They stepped onto the porch Jackie pulling Crystal into a tight hug, she kissed her forehead mumbling a “thank you baby, you saved the day” under her breath. She cocked her head confused but cuddled up to her anyway. If today was bad, she thought tomorrow would get better.  
……  
Crystal and Jackie had one of the best weeks of their lives, bonding with her parents again felt right and natural. She loved seeing how they interacted with Crystal, she loved the way she fit back into their home again. She adored spending time with her father and her mother’s iciness had seemed to thaw after a few days. She patted the girl on the head reasoning they had chilled out the second time around, enjoying her daughter rather than giving in to the urge to control the child. Today they had travelled to Point Pleasant Park walking down one of the wooded trails. Crystal and her father running ahead determined to find a fairy, while she her mother and Jan tailed up the rear. She reached a hand out for her wife, the blonde gripping on awkwardly as she trailed slightly behind. Things had been tense, she couldn’t be upset with the girl behind her she just wished she would talk to her. Jackie had been busy most days and Jan had tried to keep up but often spent her time going for walks or on facetime in her room. She knew she’d messed up, but she didn’t get how. Should she have said something, done more? Kissed her? Held her? she didn’t know what to do. Her mother’s harsh voice cut the silence, Jackie shifting her gaze to meet the voice “We used to walk this trail a lot when you started high school. Remember when we moved back here? You were always trying to get up in the trees Jackie, but you could never climb up without falling down and sulking.” She chuckled; Jackie hummed slightly embarrassed turning her eyes to the blonde usually she’d be laughing along but today she was silent, a small nod the only indicator of her listening. Her mother craned her neck to look over at the blonde. “Janice? Are you okay?” she pressed, seemingly oblivious to the blonde’s mood.  
Jan froze, her head clearing as the stopped to think. Jackie and Crystal were enjoying themselves that’s why she was here right? Why should she matter. The woman’s words from the first night had been swimming around her head, she wasn’t good enough or Jackie. She’d never be good enough for Jackie, she had wracked her brains for things to do to be better to make her parents like her the way Alexis adored her wife. But she couldn’t think, so she resigned, tried to stay out of their way because every time she looked into that woman’s eyes all she could see was disappointment. She opened her mouth to speak, wishing words would fall out but she just nodded, sadly smiling at the women in front of her. “Just because you are young doesn’t mean you get to act like a teenager Janice can you tell us what is wrong if you’re sick we can call you a doctor or-“ she stopped listening the words melding together in her brain. She opened her mouth again this time words spilled from her lips like a wave, she couldn’t stop herself, she almost wished she had. “Don’t call me Janice. Its Jan. Janice was reserved for my father and my wife but he’s dead so the name goes with him. Can you please leave me alone, you don’t have to talk to me I can say I had a headache and go back to the car if its easier. I don’t want to ruin this for Jackie and C-Crystal but I’m tired. I’d l-like to go home.” Jackie pulled the blonde into her arms, wiping her eyes with her thumbs she didn’t realise she’d started crying until the tears were flowing down her cheeks. She couldn’t stop. Jackie pulled them over to a seating area, shooting her dad a quick text that they’d be a while. “Jannie babe, what’s going on up here? You don’t cry for no reason something’s on your mind isn’t it beautiful” she cooed. Brushing her fingers through the younger woman’s long tresses, Jan’s sobs reverberating through the trees. “I’m sorry I’m….I-I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you. I’m sorry I l-love you but I w-want you to be happy with your parents and I f-feel guilty go spend some time with your dad gorge I’m good to wait here.” Jackie recoiled, gripping the blonde by the shoulders. Her mother awkwardly sat behind them “Jan… is this about what I said? Oh dear I din’t mean to upset, you I shouldn’t have said those things.. look at her, she loves you very much I can see from a mile she loves you. You make her happy of course you’re enough.” She started. The blonde shook her head angrily, pushing her face down into Jackie’s sweater. “I don’t believe you…I’m sorry y-you don’t mean that y-you haven’t even talked to me how would you know?” Jackie looked down at the blonde flashing her an understanding smile, she pulled up onto her lap placing kisses around her face. Leaving a sweet chaste kiss on her lips. “Jannie look at me.” She cooed, the blonde’s stormy blue eyes tilting up to meet her own deep brown. “Mom’s sorry she is and we’re going to talk this out properly later. Mom you’ve hurt her. What you said wasn’t okay and I should have backed her up but I didn’t. Jannie, you’re so perfect and deserving you cry like a baby hippo but look at me kissing you anyway. I love you Janice, I love you so so much and your dad would be so proud of you.” She whispered the last part, kissing the girl on the head before continuing. “can we start again ladies, mom you have to be nice or I’m taking her home. Jannie we’ll have a real talk tonight about your feelings my love. Don’t give me that look they’re valid, but I think there’s a little bit more going on up here that’s just for me right?” she said placing another kiss on the blonde’s forehead. The three women sat there on the bench, listening to the chirps of birds above them.

When Crystal returned clutching her grandpa’s finger as they walked, she smiled brightly. Her mommy, her grandma and her mama were smiling. Laughing, the dimples returning to her mama’s cheeks. She jumped for joy rushing over to tackle them into a hug, her grandpa sneaking up behind granny to kiss her. The five sat n the bench talking, Crystal switching laps every few minutes until she settled on top of her mama. She snuggled into the familiar lavender scent, smiling up at the blonde. Things were weird, she thought, awkward, but she knew her mama. Things would get better because nobody could ever make Jan cry and get away with it. She shut her eyes, the cool air brushing against her reddened cheeks. Yes, she thought things would get better.


	14. 12 am tears.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: mentions of assault!  
> Jackie and Jan's relationship is improving, Crys is starting to feel good about her parents again. But Jan's had the worst day at work, her world is falling apart and its up to Jackie and Crystal to help her pick up those pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Promise this will be the last sad one for a while! The next two chapters should be much happier (The next one might even involve cats.) Thank you for all the kudos and comments, glad you are enjoying the story. Stay safe and well keep drinking water and see you in the next one!

Life is not fair, was a phrase Crystal had heard many times throughout her life. She never really understood what it meant; life was just life how could life be fair? You won or you lost was her understanding of things until life was unfair to the people she cared about. Her parents had been a little bit off since getting back from Canada, Jan her ever-cheery self but her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes and Jackie looked as if she’d been eaten alive by sadness. Guilt spreading across her face any time she heard the blonde hesitate or make a self-deprecating joke. Jackie’s face would drop, and her eyes would soften. Crystal never really understood why but she knew she was scared. She’d sat up one night on her bed listening to them talk through the walls. Wincing at how harsh some words being thrown around sounded. She shut her eyes straining to hear the conversation in the other room “Janice, she’s my mother I know she was wrong but I can’t just not call her. Please just sit with me one time while I do so we can talk it out?” “Jackie I’m tired please, I don’t want to talk to her she doesn’t like me, she made that clear. I’m happy to talk soon but right now I steal need space.” “How much time Jan? Please babe, work with me here” “Until I stop hating myself in the mirror.” “What? Don’t be silly princess what could you possibly hate you’re so gorgeous and perfect and lovely.” Crystal turned over trying to fall asleep, the soft kisses and hushed words of encouragement filled her with hope maybe things would get better after all.

The following evening Crystal learnt the meaning of the phrase life was not fair. She and Jackie were curled up in front of the TV watching a Star Trek movie, it was 2am on Friday and Jackie had decided to be lenient its not like any of them had work or school the next day anyway. Crystal sipped on her juice, listening to Jackie as she told her all the little hidden details about the show. Crystal cuddled into her side, breathing in the familiar jasmine perfume as she calmed "Mommy? can we play star wars?" she asked, looking over at the little light-sabres Jackie had brought her. "Of course we can my little Jedi, or are you Darth Vader this week?" The redhead squealed, grabbing the stick from the floor and tossing it to Jackie "I'm the bad guy!" she giggled, turning on the red flashing lights and swinging it at her mother. The girls ran around the entire apartment, Jackie making silly sound effects with each movement o her arms, Crystal giggled, landing a few hits on Jackie's thigh. The older woman backed her up into the sofa "I have you now Darth Crystal!" she yelled, picking her up and slowly placing her down amongst the pillows, tickling the little girl as she squealed in delight. "I surrender!" the redhead squealed making grabby hands for her mother, Jackie obliged holding the girl on her lap, watching her little body relax as the movie played. "Are we sleepy baby?" she asked, moving Crystal's hair out of her face. "Not sleepy" she mumbled, cuddling up into the woman's side. Jackie cooed her, placing a soft kiss on her forehead "lets finish the movie then baby" she whispered, knowing full well the girl would not make it to the end. She ran her hand through the girl’s hair watching the redhead slowly drift off when the door slammed open. Jackie whirled her head round, she gasped bolting from her seat as she ran to the hallway holing her daughter close to her chest. She felt Crystal stir muttering softly "Shh birdy its okay mommy's got you its okay" as she walked. To her horror Jan was leaning on Nicky, her face smothered in tears, the Parisian looked like she had also been crying. Jackie hesitated, gently placing the sleeping girl down on the ottoman hoping she wouldn't wake up before pulling the blonde into her arms as the incoherent sobs got louder. Nicky sniffled leaning in to talk to the older woman “Look some guy at the bar got a little handsy, baby said no but he wasn’t taking no for an answer. She’s been checked out, medically and she’s fine a few bruises and tears here and there, but a lot happened, we didn’t see all of it. She’s scared Jacks, I’ve never seen her this scared before please take care of our blondie?” Jackie let out a sharp breath holding Jan closer to her body. “Oh my god Jannie…I’ll take care of her Nicks I promise.” she whispered, hurt evident in her voice. Nicky turned to leave but a quiet voice froze her in her spot “mama?” Crystal had poked her head round the corner, tears streaming down her face. Jan cocked her head over Jackie’s shoulder, she forced a smile pushing Jackie away momentarily and dropped to the floor. She held her arms out for Crystal who ran into her open arms. “Mama don’t cry please don’t cry” she whimpered, Jan nodded softly, she could hardly speak. She rocked her rubbing her back until she’d calmed down looking up at Jackie. Jackie shot her an understanding look “Come on birdy bed time, mama’s going to be all right she just needs a nap okay?” she cooed, picking her up and carrying her to her room. She laid the girl down on the bed petting her hair, humming softly under her breath “mommy, will she really be okay?” she asked softly. “She will I promise baby, just get some sleep you’ll see her in the morning.” Crystal gripped onto Jackie's sleeve tears welling up in her eyes "Baby shh no tears, come here, do you want mommy to lay with you for a little while angel?" The girl nodded, reaching her arms out for her. Jackie sighed, er baby was precious of course she'd be upset, she was scared and tired. She climbed into the bed under the blanket, humming her lullabies until she felt her breathing even out "sleep well birdy" she whispered carefully climbing out of the bed and closing the door behind her

Jackie ran back to the hallway a note was taped on the door she read the note under her breath “Jackie she’s in the bedroom, Jaida needs me sorry I had to go take care, tell Janessa I love her xoxoxo Nicky.” Turning on her heels and running to her bedroom, She gripped onto the doorway, eyeing the girl laying on the bed. Jan had curled into herself her makeup smearing all over the pillows, she was shaking. Jackie walked towards her wrapping her arms around the girl, she caught sight of the bruises on her legs, she felt sick. “Jannie, baby girl come and talk to me angel. Can you speak?” she asked softly. The shorter girl rolled over snuggling into Jackie’s arm “...Jackie…Jackie…I’m sorry..I’m so sorry” she sobbed. The brunette held her close sitting her up “Janice you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for do you understand me? Nothing. You did nothing wrong Jan. Nothing’s changed I love you angel.” She whispered into her ear, a soft smile spreading over the blonde’s cheeks. “Jackie.. he… I feel so dirty, I’m so gross .. he put his hands up… and …” her voice cracked she couldn’t say anymore. “Oh, Jan angel no babe you’re so beautiful, so strong you’re not dirty. Do you want to take a bath? Or do you wanna try sleep?” Jan shook her head nuzzling into Jackie, “sleep” she huffed. Jackie nodded wiping her face with a makeup wipe and helping her undress. They slept that night with Jackie holding onto the blonde for dear life, fearing that in any moment she could break.  
…….  
The next morning was rough, Jan went through the motions, she played with Crystal she cooked, showered and did her lessons but there was no joy in her eyes. Jackie hated seeing her so helpless. After her third lesson of the day she pulled her aside, sitting her down on the couch beside her. “We need to talk Janice.” She said firmly, watching the blonde crumple beside her. “about what? She said, playing with her hair, avoiding eye contact by staring at the clock. “Jan, what do you need from me right now? I’m tired of all the fighting what do you need from me as a wife?” she turned her head to look at her, “love me?” she said. Jackie’s heart twisted in her chest “Always and forever what else beautiful?” “take care of me…. Stand up for me please? I’m tired of feeling small I want to feel big again. I want to feel pretty. Can you tell me I’m pretty? A-and maybe when… when I’m sad you could give me kisses?” Jackie nodded, holding her closer. “Angel you are too good for this world, I’ll give you all the kisses in the world if I need to just to see that pretty smile.” She cooed. Running her fingers through the blonde’s hair. “I need therapy Jacks….I think I do? Nicky said I should get it.” Jackie nodded, rubbing the back of her neck “Of course angel, we’ll find you a place.” She turned her eyes to the brunette, her soft blue eyes glassy as she asked “Jackie…am I still pretty? Do you still love me?” “Janice Marcia Cox” she yelled, pulling the blonde onto her lap and kissing her passionately, wrapping her arms around her “You’re so beautiful, god Jan you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen” she kissed her way softly down Jan’s shoulders as she spoke “I love you more than anything in this world, I love you so, so much, my angel. I’m gonna make it up to you, all the hurt all the fighting I’m going to try my best to listen next time we fight. You’re so strong angel this doesn’t change us do you hear me?” she nodded, flopping backwards onto Jackie relishing in her warm arms around her waist. “I love you too Jackie.” She whispered, flipping herself over and snuggling into Jackie’s chest. Jackie looked down at her raking her eyes over her face. She kissed her forehead hoping things would get better, it was a start she thought shutting her eyes for a second breathing in the soft lavender scent of her hair.  
………..  
Weeks went by, and Crystal was frustrated. She had noticed Jan’s change, she’d noticed the little touches between her mothers, she’d noticed Jan’s eyes dull and lifeless and she felt awful. She dropped her sheep on the couch, she was feeling bad, scared. She did not know where Jackie was, probably out and Jan was in the bathroom, so she wandered to her room looking for her little pillow. But she could not find it, she ran to her parent’s room diving onto the bed wiggling around beneath the covers until she found it. She snuggled into the soft fabric breathing in the soft comforting scent the pillow held. She heard footsteps, so she wiggled her way to the bottom of the bed, poking her head out from under the sheets. She gasped, dropping the pillow with a soft thud. Jan turned to the sound, her hand shook as she stared at Crystal icy blue eyes meeting forest green. “Baby… come to mama” she cooed, Crystal leapt out from under the sheets running to her and hugging her tightly. Jan had been careful to wear jeans and sleeved t-shirts, but it was hot today, so she’d chosen to brave shorts and a t-shirt, her bruises had faded but the heavy purple and yellow blotches on her legs and arms were still visible, even from a distance. Crystal touched her arm softly, “Mama how? Does it hurt? Can we still cuddle do you need a bandage? Gigi told me if you kiss bruises, they get better real quick I can kiss them for you.” She rambled, rubbing her hand over one of the darker bruises. “Birdy, one question at a time angel. Let’s go sit out on the balcony, mama needs some fresh air and we can talk.” Crys nodded, refusing to let go of Jan’s hand, they took a seat on the bench Crystal clambering into Jan’s lap. “Baby, please try not to get too upset, okay? Mama is fine, I’m okay baby but this is not a happy story okay.” She said gently, running her fingers through the girl’s soft curls. “yes, mama I’ll try.” She chirped, looking up at her with a soft smile plastered across her cheeks. Jan playfully poked her dimples, tickling her under the chin and took a deep breath. “Life isn’t fair baby, I wish it was but its not. We deserve nice things but sometimes bad things happen to us, even if we try our best to be nice. So mama was at work and a man tried to get friendly, I said no because I have you and mommy at home I don’t need anyone else. But he didn’t like that so he kept trying and when I said no he hit me. That’s where the bruises came from baby. I’m all okay though these bruises are just icky and I don’t like looking at them. So mama keeps them covered, but I promise I’m okay birdy, mama’s gonna be alright.” Crystal latched onto her snuggling into her chest, “mama you’re brave” she sniffled. Why would anyone hit her? Crystal thought she was so nice! She pulled her face away, looking up at the blonde, her eyes were shiny again, her smile looked real and Crystal was happy. She stood up on her lap, wrapping her arms around her neck “mama can we watch Mamma Mia tonight? When I’m sad we watch my movies its your turn!” she giggled.

Jan looked down at her daughter, placing her hand on her cheek, Crystal was so sweet. She may not understand the world and its hardships yet but she was kind, Jan was proud, they’d helped her to be kind. She kissed her forehead “Yes baby we can watch Mamma Mia, if we’re having a mama Cryssy day you know what that means right?” The redhead bounced on her heels, digging her claw like toes into Jan’s thighs, she winced laughing off the pain snatching the redhead up and spinning her around. “Spa Day” she squealed, giggling as they spun. Jan nodded, letting her down to get her jacket, throwing on her own jean jacket and texting Jackie. Jan hadn’t felt this good in a long time, Crystal’s small hand in her own as they shopped, they’d hit a few thrift stores, avoiding the big shops to keep the little girl more comfortable. Crystal picking up glittery things and thrusting them at Jan to try on, people were looking at her, staring at the bruises but she couldn’t find it in her to care. Admiring herself in the cute garments the redhead thrust into her hands. They had gotten their nails done, Crystal babbling to the nail tech about her love of colours and painting as they worked. Jan’s purple acrylics shone in the sunlight, clashing with Crystal’s neon green glittery nails as they walked home hand in hand. As they entered the apartment the smell of Indian food wafted through the air.

Jackie, she thought, following Crystal into the living room where Jackie had set the table. She’d stopped off at Jan’s favourite restaurant on the way home after reading the text, she’d have to thank Crystal later for dragging Jan outside. She scooped the redhead up blowing a raspberry on her cheek and dropped her down onto her seat. “Hi babies, lets eat shall we tell me all about your day” Jackie chuckled, kissing Jan softly pulling out the chair so she could sit. They sat eating Crystal rambling on about their day out with Jan filling in the gaps, Jackie talked about her own day in the theatre, catching the little sparkle in Jan’s eyes as she listened. “Cryssy baby can you go into the kitchen and get the pink box for me?” Jackie asked the girl nodding and running off quickly. Jackie reached her hand over the table, squeezing Jan’s hand “How are you feeling today beautiful?” she asked, Jackie had been following the therapist’s advice, asking her direct questions to help Jan feel comfortable again. The blonde smiled, squeezing the hand back “I feel good gorge, really good. Didn’t even wear pants today, shorts legs out and everything” she smiled proudly. Jackie grinned, leaning over to kiss her temple “so proud of you angel” she hummed, turning her head to the sound of incoming footsteps as a pink box was placed on the table with a thud. “Mama open” Crystal giggled, climbing onto Jackie’s chair the brunette scooping her up sitting back down and placing her onto her lap. “Seat snatcher” she chuckled, tickling the girl as Jan carefully opened the box. “Jackie what the fuck? A whole fucking cake gorge these are really expensive you didn’t have to do that” she cried staring down at the chocolate cheesecake sat before her. “Nope it’s a Jannie day, mama day, that means cake and Mamma Mia I don’t make the rules.” She sing-songed scooping the blonde up into her left arm carrying Crystal under her right. “Wow my big strong wife” Jan chuckled, placing kisses on Jackie’s cheeks as she sauntered over to the couch dumping them down on the plush pillows.

Jan had tears in her eyes, happy tears as she snuggled down into the blankets, Jackie behind her falling asleep and Crystal passed out snoring to her left. “Jackie, thank you so much for today babe... I needed this” she whispered. The older woman smiled brightly, pressing a kiss into her soft hair, “Anything for you princess. I love you Janice” she cooed, her heart racing as the girl pushed her head against Jackie’s chest, listening to the soft heartbeat. “I love you too” she said, placing her hands softly onto her shoulders. Within the hour they were asleep, safe, wrapped up in a blanket cocoon safe from the world outside them. The world wasn’t fair, life wasn’t fair, but the world kept on turning. As long as they had each other to pick up the pieces their world would keep on turning and happiness would prevail. In their own little world, nothing could tear them apart, they were safe.


	15. Camping at 11am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie gets some time off and decides to spend it with Crystal.  
> Mommy daughter day overly fluffy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments! Hope you guys are enjoying the story. I'll be posting the Jankie side piece next week so look out for that. Stay safe, hydrated and well! ^-^  
> Next Chapter: Tic-Tac the cat  
> I have about ten more chapters planned for this fic! But if people really enjoy the universe I'd be happy to drop back in to write more every now and again.

Jackie sat in the doorway of Crystal’s room watching the girl play, she had just closed another show and had some time to herself for once. It wasn’t often she was home in the day, Jan had even taken a day shift to give Jackie some time to herself. She knelt down by her side, surprising her with a soft “boo!” Crystal leaped up screaming tackling Jackie into a hug and tickling her mother, Jackie flailed beneath her laughing, careful not to clip the small body with her arms, after a few minutes pulling her close “that’s enough birdy” she chuckled holding her tightly. It was rare they got time alone, rare she’d be able to play with Crystal and even rarer the girl would come to her first. Sometimes she got a little overwhelmed with the loud girl in her lap, but she loved her dearly and it hurt her how close the little redhead was with Jan but how distant she felt with her own daughter. She ruffled Crystal’s soft curls, looking down at the Lego kit half opened to her side “Why are all your Legos all over the floor baby girl? Were you building?” she asked softly, smiling as the redhead nodded enthusiastically. “I wanna build a city I can knock down when I play monsters!” she gushed, pointing to the half finished houses she’d started. Jackie paused, usually this is where she’d get up and wish her luck but decided today would be different, she didn’t have work until next week anyway so why not she thought? 

“Do you want Mommy to help you build angel?” She swore Crystal would hit the ceiling if she jumped any higher, the girl danced round her yelling “yes.” Jackie laughed taking hold of some of the bricks letting Crystal guide her in how to place them. She did not look at the clock she just listened, talked and built. She’d learn so much about the girl beside her in the last hour, its not like they’d never played before its not like she didn’t spend time with her daughter, but alone time was something she craved. Her favourite colour was not yellow but in fact orange, she didn’t like pasta at all and she wasn’t scared of the dark but she was scared of the monsters who lived in her closet. That’s why she kept glitter in there because grandma told her it fights bad monsters. Jackie listened intently, occasionally glancing over at the girl beside her, Crystal’s bright green eyes focused on Jackie. “Hey Cryssy?” she asked, letting the girl flop onto her lap, the redhead had changed into her monster onesie ready to wreak havoc on their newly founded city. “Yes mommy?” she asked, pouting worried she’d be told off for making a mess. “How about just you and I do something special this weekend? What would you like to do? She asked?” 

The little redhead’s jaw hit the floor; her stomach was leaping but in a good way a whole weekend where her mommy wasn’t working? That had not happened since Canada she thought. She scooted closer to her, wrapping her arms around the brunette, the familiar jasmine perfume filling her senses. “Can we see the tigers?” she asked, Jackie smiled pulling her up into a soft hug. “Baby we can see all the tigers, how about we go to the zoo and then we can go camping in the woods, maybe we can even search for monsters?” she whispered playfully. The girl throwing herself against Jackie excitedly. “Please mommy please!” she squealed. Jackie lifted her up grabbing her phone and placing her on the bed with a gentle kiss to the forehead. “Alright little monster mommy wants this on camera just like Godzilla. Go crazy” she chuckled, a smile spreading across her face as Crystal sprang across the room making her best monster noises knocking down the towers they’d spent the afternoon creating. She’d not had this much fun in a while, she thought posting the video to her story with the caption “my baby, destroyer of worlds and hearts.” Jackie took a seat on the bed, cheering her on as she broke down the Legos. Sure, there was a mess they’d have to clear up but that bright smile on her face was worth it.  
….  
She’d texted Jan her plans earning an enthusiastic “Take her out and send me cute photos” text chain in response. Jackie sat up from her place on the floor, noticing a quiet Crystal hanging around the kitchen. “Crys? Is something wrong sweetie?” she cooed, holding her arms open noting the girl’s practical sprint at her as she latched onto her neck. “I’m lonely mommy” she said almost inaduibly, Jackie feeling a pang of guilt hit her in the chest “oh birdy, why do you feel lonely?” she asked, mildly dreading the answer “I’m on my own a lot, when mama is here we play all the time” she whispers, a scared look flashing across her face “Oh baby girl” she whispered, guilt washing over her “I’m sorry baby, how about we play? Hmm, when its me and you little birdy just come tell me and we’ll go play okay? Mommy just needs a little push sometimes okay?” she cooed, Crystal’s face lighting up with an enthusiastic nod. Jackie sighed, her own childhood was shit, it was the main reason she was conflicted on having children in the first place and now she had one she was messing up just as bad. No not as bad, she loved her, she tried, she was there she just needed a little push that all. The temptation to spiral and shut off reared its head but Jackie stopped her brain. No. not again she thought, she’d listen learn and move on things would be great she thought. “How about we play chefs and make dinner then we can play for real after?” she chuckled, Crystal grinning and clapping her hands excitedly. “what should we make Cryssy something easy because you know mommy’s not great.” She whispered, earning a loud guffaw from the girl. “hm…we can make that?” she asked, pointing to a picture on the front of a recipe book. “burritos? Sure, sweetie we can make those” she encouraged.   
By the time Jan got home from work the kitchen was a disaster zone, she winced slightly at the mess on the sides until she caught sight of Jackie and Crystal. They were laying down on the floor eating, Crystal rambling on about how much she liked the food but she didn’t like the colour because it looked bad. Jackie nodded along attentively; Jan secretly snapped a photo before joining them on the floor. Pleasantly surprised after they’d finished eating when Crystal grabbed a book from the shelf and plopped down on Jackie’s lap. “Mommy’s doing story tonight birdy?” Jan asked, Crystal nodding enthusiastically in response. “That’s great!” she smiled, kissing both girls on the head, she gave Jackie a knowing wink and walked to the bathroom. Jan decided for the first time in months to treat herself to a bath, listening to her wife’s distinct laugh and Crystal’s soft giggles from the other room while she enjoyed her bath bomb and her impromptu Gaga mini-concert was domestically blissful.  
….  
On Saturday morning, Jan woke up early kissing Jackie softly on the lips for support, she was nervous in true Jackie fashion. “Gorge, you’ll be fine its bonding and she’ll love it even if it goes really, really bad.” She soothed, rubbing her arms up and down the brunette’s arms. Jackie nodded, sighing slightly “I know I know, but I’m scared I’ll hurt her or I’ll mess her up or something. I know its unfair but that’s why I send her to you because you’re so good with her.” She bit down on her lip, worrying it with her teeth until Jan placed a soft kiss on her lips. “I fuck up all the time gorge its parenting; I make her cry sometimes too its nature. If she cries just scoop her up and talk it out, she’s real easy Jackie and believe it or not you’re really good with her.” Jan sat down at her vanity, quickly applying her face, Jackie raised an eyebrow “going somewhere babe?” she chuckled, Jan nodded smiling “Me and Jaida are having a girl’s night Nicky’s in Paris this weekend so we’re gonna go party” she smiled. Jackie nodded kissing her forehead careful not to smudge her makeup, “You deserve a break angel have fun yeah?” Jan nodded smiling, picking up her bag “I’m gonna go say bye to birdy gorge I’ll see you on Sunday?” Jackie hummed in affirmation, watching as the blonde slinked down the hall, she overheard the muffled conversation, painting her own face slowly as the small footsteps ran towards the bedroom. “Cryssy?” Jackie questioned, smiling as the small hands pressed against her leg, Crystal pulling herself up onto the bench beside her. “Jackie finished her makeup quickly, turning her attention to the girl on her left. She reached over the table silently picking up one of Jan’s glittery eyeshadow palettes opening it where the girl could see. “Which colour today baby?” she cooed? Crystal paused, her eyes raking over the soft colours before she pointed at an orangey gold, shutting her eyes silently asking for her mother to apply it. Jackie swiped the brush lightly over the girls eyelids, taking a little lip balm from her own makeup bag and placed a layer on the girl’s lips. “its blueberry?” Crystal asked, licking her lips and scrunching her nose. “Got it in one birdy. Shall we get ready? We can get breakfast out today” she smiled. The girl nodded running to her room to pack a bag as Jackie double checked her own bags. She stood by the doorway waiting for the little girl, pleasantly surprised when the girl ran to her holding her hairbrush and a hair tie. She scooped the girl up lovingly patting her back, walking to the couch humming softly in the sunlight. The New York sun beating down from the window, Jackie took this as a blessing for the day.  
……..  
Walking through the zoo with the small hand in her own was cathartic for Jackie. She lifted the redhead up onto the guard rail, the girl reaching her arm forward as she watched the elephants stamp around their enclosure. “Having fun birdy?” She asked, Crystal nodding pointing at a large elephant near the back “Why are its teeth like that mommy?” she asked, gesturing to the tasks. “Well baby, they’re plant eaters and they’re really big but sometimes they need to fight so the big ones have tusks to fight with.” Crystal’s eyes gleamed, a small squeal falling from her lips “That’s so cool! I want fighting teeth!” she giggled, placing her hands at the corner of her lips to emulate the elephants. “Oh no, not the fighting teeth” Jackie chuckled, pulling the girl close when the elephants got closer. Crystal cuddled into Jackie’s chest, mumbling quietly. Crystal’s small hands drifted up towards her ears and Jackie knew. She held the girl closer, craning her neck down and walking past the approaching group of kids, she hummed softly in her ear watching the girl relax, she brought her hand through the girl’s curly mane shushing her gently. “Where should we go next baby? The tigers?” Crystal nodded, wiping her eyes and clinging to Jackie tighter. Jackie carried her through the rest of the zoo, the tigers, the monkeys, the lions, wolves and more had Crystal giggling cuddling in close or leaning out to get a better look. “I like the tigers the most!” she exclaimed, Jackie nodding as she brought her to the gift shop “I liked the gorillas myself” she replied. Crys giggled, looking around at the brightly coloured merchandise her eyes falling on a plush tiger. Jackie noticed reaching out to pluck the stuffed toy from its basket. “Do you want this one birdy?” Crystal nodded her head “Please mommy, he looks fluffy” “The fluffiest” Jackie replied, grabbing a tiny gorilla keyring for herself, they walked to the cash register as Jackie caught sight of a little photo-booth in the corner. Butterflies and glittery flamingos made the backdrop, she paid quickly, placing the tiger into her daughter’s arms. “Cryssy should we take a photo for mama?” she asked, pointing over to the bright backdrop, before she could reply the girl was off sprinting towards the glittery cut outs. 

Jackie talked with the camera woman briefly greeting her, she walked over to Crystal placing the girl down on a flamingo as she stood beside her both smiled for the flash. Crystal wasn’t looking at the camera though he was looking up at her mother pulling faces, Jackie snickered pulling faces right back at her. The cameraman chuckled himself, calling them over, Jackie paid quickly the man leaned on the camera attempting to flirt. “You two ladies are very cute, she looks like you” he said gesturing to the small girl, playing with her tiger. “She doesn’t really, she’s much to pretty for that but thanks, we better be off have a nice day.” She said coldly, holding onto Crystal’s hand walking towards the door ignoring the man behind her. “Mommy that was so cool!” she cried, pulling at Jackie’s pant leg “what was angel?” she cooed, “You! That guy was weird, but you just told him off like really easy!” Jackie knelt down in front of her, taking the small hands into her own “Crystal, men are yucky sometimes, not all men but some of them. If they ever make you feel icky, tell them off and walk away baby, okay?” the girl nodded, squeezing Jackie’s hand in response. “Now let’s go get lunch baby, Mommy wants pizza.”  
…….  
The began sun set over Harriman State Park, Jackie had set up the tent near to the river allowing the girls to play in the water. Crystal stood in her water wings, biting her lips as Jackie held her arms open. “Baby come on you can do this, come to Mommy, I’ll catch you if you fall don’t worry birdy” she called out. Crystal took a deep breath and kicked her legs off the floor like Jackie had showed her, she cupped her hands and swung her arms kicking her little legs behind her. She was swimming! Jackie cheered and hollered as the little hands touched her arms, she pulled Crystal close to her lifting her out of the water in triumph. “Wow, I have a little mermaid!” she cheered, spinning Crystal round as she giggled. “wanna keep swimming baby or are you hungry?” Crystal shook her head “swim!” she yelled, splashing Jackie with a smug grin. They squealed and yelled, their voices carrying through the trees as they splashed and dove under the water. As the sun went down, Jackie swim to the river’s edge placing the redhead down on the towel and drying her off. She climbed out of the water drying herself off and ducked behind the tent to change. “Cryssy put your pjs on birdy you’ll get sick if you stay wet” she called out, surprised to see a sullen look cross the little redhead’s face. “Cryssy baby what’s wrong? Tummy ache? Come to mommy.” Jackie wrapped her arms around her fragile shoulders, settling down beside the campfire. “Crys? Wanna tell me what’s up?” she pressed careful not to upset the girl further, if she wanted to talk, she would. “Mommy …. I don’t wanna go back to before, I don’t want today to end” she whined, Jackie’s tense shoulders dropping with each word. “Oh honey, are you sacred mommy won’t have time for you?” The redhead nodded, climbing into the brunette’s lap. Jackie wrapped her arms tightly around the small body “never again baby, never ever. Mommy has work for sure, but we will make a special mommy Cryssy day once a week promise? It might not always be as special as camping, but we’ll go out or play monsters or do art. Whatever you want baby.” Crystal lifted her head, daringly staring her mother down, her hand shot up extending her pinkie. “Promise?” she whispered; the older woman nodded wrapping her finger around the smaller girls with a smile. “Promise.” They stayed cuddled up by the fire for a while, the flames flickering over their faces. Jackie hummed down to Crystal telling her stories as the girl drifted off to sleep. Jackie felt a lump in her throat and tears prick her eyes, she like Crystal did not want the night to end.

Morning cam quicker than Jackie imagined, she rolled over in her sleeping bag panicking to see the girl missing from her blanket pile. Her little tiger gone with her, she tore out of the tent laughing as she spotted the girl sitting outside playing in the dirt. “Cryssy! You scared me I though you hated mud!” Jackie giggled. Crystal looked down at her hands disgusted, “Mommy I do hate mud, but I was bored and you were sleepy.” Jackie guided her down to the river, washing of her hands. “Birdy, come on we need to start getting back, Mama’s waiting at home for us.” Crystal nodded, pawing at Jackie’s pyjama pants. “mommy….can we get pancakes on the way home?” Jackie chuckled, playfully patting the girl on the back “Only if you let mommy have a bite of yours.” “Deal! The girl squealed, running off into the tent to get dressed. “Honestly Jackie chuckled, cleaning up around the tent area. She noticed the little fluffy tiger sitting in the mud and picked him up, little footsteps approaching behind her “You found Purrtha!” Crystal yelled making the older woman jump. “Purrtha? Not Purrtha Kitt baby?” Jackie chuckled, Crystal burst into laughter nodding beside her, they cuddled up on the floor, Jackie placing Purrtha onto Crystal’s lap. “c’mon baby pancake times. Help mommy take down the tent.”   
……..  
Jan had noticed the changes slowly, she couldn’t be prouder. Jackie had seemed more relaxed and Crystal hadn’t had a nightmare in weeks, things were looking up for all of them. Jackie and Crystal talked much more, she noticed their little conversations when she cooked or when she’d come home from work finding them in a pillow fort or curled up in her bed, making her heart swell every time. Jan looked out from her seat on the balcony, she was curled up under thick blankets in the icy morning. She typed out emails listening as New York sprung to life. The sun rose painting the city in hues of reds, yellows and soft pinks, Jan closed her eyes, opening them when she felt a heavy weight on her knee. Her eyes flickered open, Jackie had her hand placed on her knee and Crystal balled up in her arms. “Morning Princess” Jackie whispered, kissing the blonde curling up in the blankets beside her. “Morning Gorge” she said, cuddling into her wife’s side. The soft morning light of New York calm, the streets quiet Crystal had woken up, but she stayed silent, snuggling deeper into her mommy’s lap hoping she wouldn’t notice, in that moment nothing else mattered but the warm arms around her. Between her mother’s, In Jackie’s arms she felt safe.


	16. Tic Tac came home at 5pm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystal's birthday is coming around and there's only one thing she really wants: A cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and Kudos, hope you guys are enjoying the story.  
> A chapter of the Jankie side story will be posted on Monday (Very different vibe a lot more mature. Kinda works as a stand alone but ties into this universe.) Next chapter for this one will be posted soon.  
> Stay well, stay safe and stay hydrated ^-^

Crystal sat down on the balcony, slotting her legs between the bars, letting them swing over the street below. She had grown bored of the SpongeBob reruns playing on tv deciding to people watch instead. When she saw it, a beautiful black and white cat perched on the neighbouring balcony. She reached her arm out making noises to attract its attention, her fingers brushed against the cat’s soft fur for a moment, she smiled. The cat ran back onto the balcony as quick as it had appeared leaving Crystal alone again. She huffed, laying back on the balcony her boredom returning. She’d done all her school work, she was out of paints, Jackie was on a call meeting in the master bedroom meaning Crystal couldn’t play in the halls either. She pulled herself up, gasping with a scream when she heard a snap. Frantic footsteps ran towards her, Jan’s arms wrapping around her torso and pulling her back from the edge “Cryssy baby talk to me are you hurt did it hit you?” she cooed, checking her body over for any signs of injury. “no mama I’m fine it spooked me” she whined holding onto the blonde, the laundry line had snapped falling down and smashing a pot in the corner. Jan chucked letting her go as she cleaned up. She ran to the bedroom as fast as her feet would carry her waving to Jackie as she passed. Her mother muted herself quickly to greet the girl patting her back before turning back to the screen. Crystal just sat by the window watching the animals running around the street below thinking about the little furry friend she’d met minutes before.   
At dinner time, she was quiet. Jan had made pizza; her favourite and Jackie was telling them work but Cry was thinking about the cat next door. Jackie noticed and lightly kicked her under the table “what’s on your mind birdy?” she asked. “Thinking about cats mommy” she mumbled playfully kicking her back. Jackie chuckled “cats?” “yeah there was a cat on the balcony, he was soft I like him.” She said wistfully, biting down on another slice, Jan smiled softly, and Jackie shook her head endearingly, waiting she knew what was coming next. She’d remembered her own pet fight with her parents. She’d begged and begged for a dog, but they’d never let her have one, she was determined to make sure her girl never experienced the same thing. “Mommy, mama can we get a cat, please?” she asked, leaning onto the edge of her seat. “maybe birdy” “we need to talk more first baby” came from either end of the table. Both women raised an eyebrow, Jan holding Crystal’s hand for a moment “we’ll talk later baby, do you wanna help mama pick desert? We have ice cream sandwiches.” The redhead jumped down from her seat following her mother into the kitchen. Jackie quickly pulled out her phone looking up the nearest shelter, if Crystal wanted a cat, a cat she would get. The brunette smiled to herself scrolling through the pictures of little kittens she would talk to Jan later and smooth everything out. She cocked her head watching the girls from her seat, placing her phone down and sneaking up behind the little redhead. “Boo” she whispered, tickling the girl, careful not to make her drop her treat. Jan smiled down at them, leaning back on the counter shutting her eyes for a moment until they pounced tickling her too.  
…..  
Jan sat on the bed listening to Jackie fawn over cats, showing her phone under her nose every few minutes with a different kitten. “Jacks….gorge…babe….” she tried to interrupt. She smiled endearingly, loving how Jackie’s eyes crinkled with each kitten, the sweet smile lines spreading across her cheeks. She waited, but quickly realised Jackie wouldn’t stop gushing and chose to take matters into her own hands. She rolled over, looking the brunette dead in the eye “daddy” she said her voice soft and sultry reeling as Jackie choked on her own spit. “Babe not now Crys is probably still awake” Jackie chuckled, flopping down onto the bed beside her wife “got your attention though gorge” she chuckled. Jackie rolled her eyes placing a soft kiss on Jan’s temple “Please tell me you’re not against the cat” she whined, pouting. Jan giggled, poking her cheeks and leaned in to kiss the pout off her lips “that’s Cryssy’s gig babe. No I’m not against a cat but not a kitten.” She looked up into Jackie’s eyes, scanning for hesitation before she continued. “If this is gonna be a gift for Cryssy… maybe we should take her to a shelter on the big day let her pick her own kitty. That way we save a little fuzzball too.” Jackie placed one hand on her chin in a thoughtful expression before flopping onto the blonde, “sounds perfect Jannifer, another stray for the Cox house, kitty would fit right in.” Jan cuddled up into her side kissing her cheek “we’re all strays here doll” she sighed softly, resting her head on Jackie’s chest. The older woman’s hand instinctively found its way to Jan’s hair, running her fingers through the blonde locks. “Is she really going to be six next week babe?” Jackie asked, her voice shaking slightly. Jan nodded kissing her hair “she’s growing up gorge, she’s really growing up” she said, her fingers drifting to rub Jackie’s shoulder. “she’s so little though” Jackie whispered, Jan kissed away the tears pricking the corner of her eyes. “Babe she’ll be fine, you’re just freaking out because you just aged.” Jackie sighed, rolling Jan onto the bed and kissing her passionately “Hey I may be old but I still got it” Jan giggled, wrapping her arms round Jackie’s back “thirty two is the new twenty two gorge” she simpered cuddling up into her strong arms. They stayed up talking for hours, Jackie Knew she’d regret it tomorrow but wouldn’t change her choice for the world.   
Jackie woke up first for a change, stretching and rolling out of bed, careful not to stir the blonde. She padded her way down to the living room sitting down at the table. She sleepily rubbed her eyes catching sight of Crystal’s markers on the side, an idea popping into her head as she reached for them. By the time the blonde woke she was finished. Jan made her way into the living room settling down beside the brunette, kissing her temple “morning gorge, what you up to?” she hummed. “Take a look, for Cryssy’s birthday” she said pulling the blonde close kissing her cheeks. Jan read the sheet a smile spreading across her chees, in glitter pen Jackie had written: Crystal’s Cat agreement list. “Happy birthday birdy, mommy and mama have decided we can get you a little furry friend today but you have to promise to do the following things. 1.) You have to feed kitty every morning before school and before we have dinner, mama and mommy will help you out but you have to do it. 2.) Kitty isn’t allowed on the balcony in case they fall and get hurt. 3.) You have to promise to love your kitty forever and ever. Happy birthday again baby girl lots of love from Mommy and Mama.” Jan looked up into Jackie’s deep brown eyes kissing her forehead “Jackie this is so cute she’s gonna love it!” she cried nuzzling her neck. Jackie held her close looking over to Crystal’s bedroom whispering “I hope so Jannie I really hope so”   
…..  
The 16th came round quicker than Jackie was ready for, she woke to the patter of small feet and a pressure on her stomach. Her eyes snapped open to find Crystal sitting on her stomach grinning “morning mommy! Wake up, wake up!” Jackie groaned pulling the redhead into a hug and shutting her eyes a teasing smirk playing on her lips. “Noooo mommy get up.” She cried giggling and squirming in the brunettes eyes. “Shhh nooooo birdy birthday sleepy cuddles first, mommy’s tired.” She cooed smiling down at her daughter, the girl nuzzled into her arms grinning up at her. “Okay ten minutes, mama’s making pancakes and strawberry milk.” Jackie hummed, oohing and ahhing the girl “strawberry milk for breakfast aren’t you lucky?” Crystal nodded, burying her face into Jackie’s chest. It turned out ten minutes in Crystal’s world was two, as the girl sprang up dragging her mother behind her. Jackie scooped her up humming happy birthday into her ear, sitting her down at the table that overflowed with glittery presents, Jan placing pancakes in front of the little girl. “happy birthday Crystal!” both her parents yelled, encouraging her to eat before she opened her presents. Alexis, Nicky and Jaida filtered into the apartment before breakfast finished, Crystal receiving in her mind, well deserved attention and presents from each. She opened each in tears, happily crying and hugging each object close to her chest. She still felt guilty for every item she received; she’d gotten much better but it took five encouraging voices to get her to accept the gifts. She reached for the last envelope on the table her little hands covered in glitter. “open it baby, this one is from me and mama” Jackie cooed, the little redhead gently opening the envelope in response careful to avoid ripping it. She read the words gasping before bursting into tears “mommy…mama.. a kitty you mean it?” she wailed, reaching her arms out into the air begging to be held. “Of course, baby we’re gonna go down to the shelter after school okay?” Crystal nodded leaning into both her parents embrace. She could not believe it a cat of her very own she thought before running off after her aunts to play.  
She wouldn’t stop talking about the cat on the way to school, before class at break and at lunch. She gushed to Gigi about how cute her kitty would be, to Rock about all the collar she was going to decorate for the cat, promising Heidi she would be the first one of her friends to pet it. She even told Dahlia about her kitty, brushing her off when the dark haired girl rolled her eyes claiming dogs were better. At lunch she sat on top of the climbing frame with Widow and Gigi, Rock, Dahlia and Heidi chasing each other around below. “Widow I’m so excited” she said, turning to the dark haired girl, Widow nodded wrapping her arm around Crystal’s shoulder “Yeah we know Crys, but its YOUR birthday not the cats we should talk about YOU” she said, poking her playfully for emphasis. Gigi nodded enthusiastically “I haven’t even given you your present yet!” she whined catching the redheads attention. “Oh no not presents please guys I just wanna play with you! That’s my present” she said, Widow shaking her head chuckling. “Me and auntie got you something real cool we’ll give it to you at the party later.” She said, nudging her softly. Crystal cuddled her wrapping her arms tightly around Widow’s frame “love you Widow” she whispered Widow replying with a quick “love you too clown face.” “I wanna give you part of mine now” Gigi chirped, standing up and holding out her hand “in secret, no o-fences Widow.” The older girl laughed, “its offense Geege and none taken go play with clowny” she said, darting off to the swing set to play with Monique. “Close your eyes” the brunette sang, Crystal nodded shutting her eyes and scrunching up her nose, she felt her heart stop when Gigi’s lips touched her own. “Her eyes sprang open “Gigi…did you?” she stammered, the brunette nodded “Birthday kiss! I always get kisses for my birthday and you’re one of my bestest friends Cryssy so you get one too” she giggled. “Thanks Gigi” she said softly, hugging the brunette tightly. Gigi giggled running off towards the slide leaving Crystal speechless for the first time ever.   
…  
After school Jan, Jackie and Crystal walked over to the local shelter, Jackie filled out the paperwork the day before so they could look around with ease. The little redhead was in heaven running through the isles looking into the cages at each of the cats, Jackie though her smile would break her face if it got any bigger. Crystal squealed bouncing from cat to cat trying to figure out which of them to take home, she would ask for them all but Jan had very clearly said she could only have one. Crystal learnt the hard way once if mama said no she meant it, a whole week without tv was the worst she wasn’t gonna repeat that again. She stared at a black and white cat, thinking hard about the little cat on the balcony when she saw it. A ginger coughing up a hairball, the cat turned barfed and proceeded to lick itself. Crystal stared at it in awe, how did such a little thing coughed up something that big and didn’t choke? The cat had to be a superhero or something she decided, she turned quickly on her heel stumbling slightly, falling onto Jackie’s leg. Jackie shot her arms out to steady her, “careful birdy” she cooed, helping the girl upright “I want that one please mommy!” she yelled, bouncing up and down pointing at the little ginger. Jackie cringed slightly of course Crystal would pick the one licking its butthole while all of the others played so sweetly. “Are you sure baby?” she asked, smiling as the redhead nodded enthusiastically. “Lets tell the lady then birdy” Jan replied, taking hold of the girl’s left hand as Jackie took the right. Paper work bored Crystal, she sat on the bench, carrier in hand, peering down through the holes at her new friend. She pushed her finger through the hole, squealing in delight as a rough tongue licked her finger. “I like you already mademoiselle” she whispered, Jan blinking in surprise when she heard the little girl, “where did you hear that word birdy, that’s a big big word you’re so clever.” The redhead looked up “Auntie Nicky said it mama” she said indifferently, turning her attention back to the cat in her lap.   
They walked home in content silence Crystal occasionally muttering names under her breath for her new fluffy friend. “Tomato….Cola……Durex….Apple” she read off the street signs as she passed them. Jackie prayed to whatever entity was listening that Crystal wouldn’t pick something rude, she could deal with something stupid like water bottle but she was not going to put up with any more phone calls home from Nina. She bitterly thought back to the sheep plush, whispering cute names to Crystal hoping she’d pick up on something semi normal. Jan chuckled, filming the pair on her phone to send over to Alexis later, she nearly dropped the phone when the small girl yelled out “Tic Tac!” Jackie smiled and Jan chuckled lightly, “Tic Tac baby?” Crystal nodded “kitty is called Tic Tac now and I love her she’s the best puppy ever.” She declared proudly, strutting her way down the street holding the carrier carefully. The couple stared at each other for a second, bursting into laughter, running to catch up with the girl. Sometimes, Jackie thought, Crystal was a little weirdo but she wouldn’t have it any other way.  
The Party that night was a success, Crystal had never been happier. The girls had played games, watched movies and played in the public pool. Even Heidi crying didn’t ruin the night, the other eight girls crowding round her and helping her up when she slipped and fell. The redhead sat on her bed looking at the photo Jackie had taken; she was going to pin it up on her wall so she could look at it forever. She ran her finger across each of her friends’ face, Rock, Heidi, Widow, Dahlia, Gigi, Lux Daya and Deagen had made her birthday really special. She’d never felt as loved, looking out across the room where her friends, aunties and family stood around her wishing her a happy day. She’d cried a lot that evening, but no sad tears just happy. She placed the photo down rolling onto her stomach, setting her eyes on Tic Tac. The little fuzzball had attached herself to Crystal’s hip the second she’d gotten out of the crate following the girl around the house. Crystal petted her soft fur smiling brightly, today she’d been given three of the best gifts she could ever hope for, a big party with all of her favourite people, a kiss from her super pretty bestest friend and her very own kitty. She shut her eyes yawning slightly, snuggling down into her blankets contently as the soft purrs from the cat beside her sent her off to sleep.


	17. 2pm in the Hampton's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gigi's Parent have a beach house in the Hampton's and they've invited the girl's and their parents out for the summer.  
> Lets go to the beach, beach!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the notes comments and Kudos! Hope you are enjoying the story so far, big plans for the next one I'm very excited to work on it.  
> Stay safe, well and Hydrated.  
> Next Chapter: Jaida and Nicky have something very special planned for Jan and Jackie's anniversary. Crystal's on a mission: help her aunties in any way possible.

Summer’s were blissful for Jackie; she was never happier than when the sun was out. She loved to lounge and bask in the warm rays, she enjoyed the cool treats she got to eat without judgement from her friends and she adored the bright flowers that bloomed across the city. She hummed to herself quietly as she packed her summer bags, this year they would be off to the Hamptons curtesy of the Goodes. Gigi’s mother had invited the girls and their families up to their beach house for a week so Gigi wouldn’t be alone in a sea of boys. Jackie turned on her heels amused to see Crystal chasing Tic-Tac through the halls, the cat clambering up the bookshelf as the girl sat below her arms stretched to catch any falling objects. She was excited to show the little girl the beach, take her swimming maybe she could even convince Jan to teach her how to do handstands in the pool. Jackie turned to her wife, laughing as she found her on her hands and knees digging through her wardrobe looking for a swimsuit. She snuck up behind the blonde, wrapping her arms round her waist playfully biting down on her shoulder “Jannifer its right there” she chuckled lifting the swimsuit rom the bottom of the wardrobe, amused by Jan’s grunt of annoyance as she puled herself out of the wooden box. “I’m so blind its not even funny” she whined nuzzling the brunette quickly, she stood throwing her swimsuit into the nearest open suitcase. Jan was never one for organisation much to Jackie’s chagrin. The couple stood arms wrapped around each other playfully teasing in the warm summer sun, oblivious to their daughter’s destruction in the adjacent room.

“Bad cat! Get off of Tic-Tac! Go away!” caught their attention, Jan groaned wiggling herself underneath Jackie as the taller woman pulled herself off. Jackie ran ahead standing in the living room doorway to find the redhead holding up their cat, scratch marks on her legs as a neighbouring Tom hissed at her. Jackie shooed the cat away, wincing as she inspected the skinny legs Crystal presented to her “Oh baby, did the boy cat scratch you or is Tic-Tac going in time out?” she questioned, leading the girl to the couch by the hand, careful not to let any blood drip onto the carpets. “Mommy he jumped her and bit her! She ran behind me, so I picked her up and he scratched me.” She pouted, whining as Jan applied anti-sceptic to the scratches. Jackie sat behind her cooing and shushing the girl, whispering little reassurances as Crystal held onto her hands. “Mommy it hurts. Mama I don’t like it make it stop.” She whined, tears pricking the corner of her eyes, “oh birdy mama’s nearly done brave girl we just gotta stick some band aids on then we’re all good.” Jan soothed, rubbing her leg soothingly, as she reached for the packages “Elmo, flowers or Scooby baby doll?” Crystal pointed through bleary eyes, smiling at the bright paw prints adorning her legs. “Gigi likes scooby mama I hope she likes them.” She rambled, Jan and Jackie eyeing each other with a knowing smile. She was too little to be sure, but both women thought Crystal’s potential little baby crush was the sweetest, making a mental note to tease her later.  
…..  
The journey to the beach house was long and Crystal was bored. She sat up in her car seat peaking out of the window, watching as they passed by the expensive houses. The streets were beautiful, but her eyes were drawn to the water, the glimmering blue on the horizon captivating her. She turned her head to her parents in the front seat “Mama? Mommy?” she asked. “Yes birdy?” Jackie replied, “How much longer?” keeping her eyes on the road she huffed “not long now baby okay?” smiling as she caught sight of the girl nodding in her rear view with a quick “okay.” The redhead rested her head against the window, wondering how Tic-Tac was doing with her aunts. She hoped she didn’t scratch up too many of Aunt Nicky’s little sheep. When the car stopped, she jolted forward wiggling impatiently as Jan unclipped her from her car seat. “Thanks mama!” she chirped, dropping down running towards the house barefoot before either of her mothers could catch her. She stopped, looking up at the house in awe, it was huge. She’d never seen so many windows, Jan giggled, scooping her up, carrying her towards the front door “Gigi’s house is nice huh baby?” She nodded, wrapping her arms around the blonde, her mother rubbing her back as they walked. Crystal relaxed into the touch, resting her head on the shoulders relishing in the temporary quiet her mothers gave her before the chaos began.  
Jackie took the girl as Jan reached for the doorbell “Baby look at mommy one minute.” She said, careful to keep her voice both light but firm “I know you’re a big girl now but if things get too scary, too loud or your tummy goes funny you know me and mama are here for you don’t you baby? Just come tell us or pull on our legs and we’ll be with you in a heartbeat. Remember what mommy told you?” The redhead nodded, her blinding smile flashing in the sunlight reciting Jackie’s favourite pep talk: “Even grownups get scared and its okay to need help!” Jackie smiled, tucking her curls back behind her ears “brilliant angel” she whispered lowering the child as the door opened. Kate greeted them happily, wrapping her arms around the three of them guiding them inside. Crystal wandered slightly ahead looking around the walls, she smiled at the photos of Gigi hanging on the wall, the pretty dress drawings hanging in the frames and the expensive vases lining the hallways. She’d never been in a place like this, her own house had a few photos here and there, but her mothers liked to keep things minimal minus the fridge where her drawings hung. She followed the noises into the living room, shaking slightly when she saw the number of people crammed into a small space. She was about to run out of the room until she felt the soft hands on her shoulders. “Cryssy! I missed you” Heidi cried, throwing herself onto the girl, the redhead let out a shaky breath hugging the girl back tightly “missed you too Heidi, wow wow you look so pretty!” She spun the girl in circles giggling, she took out one of her butterfly clips, gently offering it to her. Crystal and Heidi had a special bond, they would swap an accessory every time they saw each other. Crystal loved to remind Heidi she was pretty and giving her pretty things to help her feel better. 

The girls sat on the floor together, cuddling and talking about their summer so far, Crystal giggling as Heidi told her about her “leprosy print dress” she’d spent hours shopping for. “I got a puppy dog too Crys! He’s super cute maybe him and Tic-Tac can be friends” she squealed, the redhead nodding excitedly, screaming as she felt a pair of cold hands on her sides. “Roxanne! cold!” she cried, giggling as the bubble gum pink hair fell into her face, collapsing back on the floor. “Cryssy Crys missed you! Look at my hair isn’t it cool daddy brought me hair dyes!” she giggled excitedly. Crystal nodded, running her fingers through the soft pink hair with coos of pretty, huffing as Heidi flopped on top of them. Crystal whined as she felt three more bodies quickly fall on top of her. She guessed it was Gigi, Dahlia and Widow, greeting them as they climbed off her. The girls sat in a circle talking, Widow sharing her stories of Missouri, Dahlia telling them about her and her twins’ vacation and Rock talking about her Disneyland trip and newfound love of manic panic. Gigi stayed mostly quiet, resting her head on Crystal’s shoulder, the brunette telling her cute stories about her own summer in hushed whispers, like their own little secrets. Crystal listened playing around with the bracelets on her wrists excited for the week to come, she loved her friends, she loved hearing their voices and couldn’t wait to make cute memories of her own with them.

……..

The next morning the girls were up bright and early running across the sandy beach to the rock pools. Their parents had scouted the evening before, Jackie stumbling across a man-made pool for the younger children in the sea while the older kids would be free to play in the sea close by. Crystal ran as fast has her feet would carry her, a floaty in hand. Its not like she couldn’t swim but Jackie had reminded her safety first as she handed the girl the device. Rock and Widow had dived into the water already and Heidi and Dahlia were animatedly talking sitting happily on a donut ring being pulled around by Aja. Crystal stood by the waters edge, dipping a toe in before shrugging off her cover up, she took a few steps in, the cool water brushing against her knees. The sound of the waves was deafening, she lifted her hands to her ears as her stomach began its signature churning, she went to turn around, but Gigi stood beside her offering out her hands. “Cryssy its okay the sharks live in the big water” she told her pulling her in by the arms. Crystal gulped, nodding softly; of the two Crystal loved to be the brave one, getting rid of the bugs that spooked Gigi, kissing her bruises better and helping her over the mud so she didn’t get in trouble for ruining her shoes. Cry baby Crystal as Dahlia called her, always put on a brave face for Gigi, knowing the girl needed constant support as she doubted herself. But this time she didn’t think she could do it. The waves sounded louder, crashing against her eardrums as they stepped further in, she felt her knees shaking and looked up at Gigi hoping the girl would notice. The tall brunette stopped, wrapping her arms around her friends shoulders, “Crystal are you scared or is your tummy doing the big bad?” she asked her face expressionless. “My tummy..” she mumbled, determined not to cry, “”Gigi my tummy hurts.” The brunette smiled softly, helping her friend back out towards the shallow waters “what’s making your tummy monster hungry?” she asked, poking the girl teasingly, enjoying how Crystal squirmed a smile playing on the Latina’s lips. “I don’t know Geege…can we try swim over there?” she asked pointing to the quieter edge of the pool. The brunette nodded pulling the shorter girl behind her. After a few minutes of back and forth the girls were splashing around, giggling much to their parents’ delights. Crystal was even giving chase to Widow and Rock the sounds of the children echoing across the sand under the sun.

By lunch time they were tired, they sat on the hot sand wrapped in towels munching on the food Gigi’s parents had cooked. Crystal sat beside Jan, letting the blonde reapply sunscreen to her shoulders as she ate. Her food was yummy, she shared bites with her friends, refusing to eat any of theirs, she didn’t want the meat options when her tummy was on edge. They made her want to be sick, she reasoned. As they finished the girls wandered off to play in the sand, Crystal opted to build a sandcastle with Dahlia as the others buried Rock in the sand. “What if we put the big shell on the pointy bit?” Dahlia asked, between carefully placing seaweed around the base of their creation. “Yeah! We can use the big one for a door here” the redhead mused, smiling as she let her friend decorate. The girls giggled and worked away until a shadow loomed over them. Crystal looked up to find Gigi’s older brother staring at them “Hi?” she said timidly, smiling up at the older boy. “Your castle is pretty ladies, but you guys look too cool for baby things do you wanna come play with us? We’re gonna play kick ball.” Dahlia nodded excitedly, running over to the other group but Crystal hesitated, the boys looked a lot taller than her, she didn’t want to fall but she didn’t want Gigi to think she wasn’t cool either. Against her better judgement she nodded, following behind Dahlia.

The game turned out to be fun, Crystal discovered she was a lot faster than the older boys, every time she landed a kick, she could zoom round the bases before anyone could catch her. She Dahlia and a boy called Max formed the winning team, the three cheering and hollering as Max rounded the final base securing their win. Crystal squealed throwing herself into Dahlia’s arms as the girl’s cheered. “Max chuckled pulling both girls close to him, pointing at his cheeks “I think I deserve a victory kiss” he chuckled, smiling as Dahlia leaned in to kiss his cheek. The dark-haired girl running circles round the losing boys to taunt them happily. Crystal however froze in his arms, she was uncomfortable, the butterflies in her tummy began flapping their wings angrily, more like a swarm of bees as she stood. “Come on Christie give me a kiss Dolly did it.” He chuckled, Crystal shaking her head as he got closer “No please, no no, I’m happy we won but I am un-un-uncomfy-table” she said, remembering her mother’s advice to use her big girl words. “Lame!” the boy huffed, dropping her as he ran off to join Dahlia. Crystal stood dejected, tears pricking the corner of her eyes as she walked back to her parents, she felt stupid, sad and ugly. Why did he call her a name, she was just telling the truth? She didn’t want Gigi to think she was lame, or Widow, or even Dahlia she wanted to be cool too, but it wasn’t worth her discomfort.

The redhead plopped herself down on the edge of Jan’s towel, looking down at her parents, Jackie had fallen asleep in the sun tanning contently before she was due to swap out with Heidi’s mother on kids watch. Jan had just returned from watching the girls in the sand, choosing to sit up and read, a pastime she rarely indulged in. The blonde caught sight of the girl over the corner of her book frowning at the sad look passing her face. “Cryssy? Birdy? What happened baby?” she cooed, holding her arm out for the little girl to snuggle in. The redhead launched herself into her arms, resting her head on the warmed skin, hiding her face as she felt a hot flush her cheeks. “Oh baby, look at mama, what’s got you upset birdy?” Crystal took in a deep breath, relaying the story to the blonde, enjoying thee soft fingers running through her hair as she spoke. Jackie had woken up, listening in to the girl’s story and rubbing her back soothingly, nodding along to the girl’s retelling. Both women looked at each other Jan nodding for Jackie to speak first. “Crystal what you did there wasn’t lame it was really cool, you know why? You used your big girl words and that so so cool.” Jan nodded, leaning into Jackie as she added “and nobody should ever be allowed to make you feel uncomfy like that birdy, you did the right thing by saying no. always say no if you don’t want to you don’t have to.” Crystal nodded, taking a spot between her parents, snuggling into the sun kissed skin of Jan’s arm. To her surprise she looked up to see Gigi in tears running their way, holding her arms out to Jan as she blubbered. Jan pulled the brunette close settling her down on her lap as she whispered soothing nothings in the girl’s ear, telling her how beautiful she was, how it was okay to cry and how she didn’t need to worry about her mom being mean. Crystal looked over, a feeling of pity rising in her chest, Gigi loved her mom and Kate loved her daughter, but she was a perfectionist. It almost seemed like Gigi would never be able to win with her even if she was perfect. It always broke Crystal’s heart to see Gigi so sad, she thought as she rubbed her friend’s shoulders. Secretly though it made her realise how lucky she was to have parents like hers, they loved her and never ever made her feel bad like that. She was glad Gigi felt comfortable enough around them to come to them. She stood in Jackie’s lap wrapping her arms around the brunette’s neck, seeking comfort and secretly hoping the strange feeling in her tummy would leave her be long enough to relax.

…….

The week flew by quickly the girls spending most of their time on the beach or exploring the shops nearby. Widow and Heidi lead the group through the streets, Widow pulling a little wagon for Heidi to sit in. The shorter girl had fallen scraping her knees earlier in he day, Widow, being the ever generous friend she was wanted to do anything to make the girl feel better. Rock and Dahlia trailed behind sharing a shaved ice Dahlia had gotten Aja to pay for, the strawberry syrup painting their tongues a bright red much to Dahlia’s delight. “It matches your hair Rocky!” she giggled, Rock chirping happily back in response. Aja trailed up the back with their friend Farrah stuck on babysitting duty much to their chagrin but Farrah’s bubbly personality made everything that little bit more bearable, even if it was just because Aja liked to stare at the freckles on her cheeks. Gigi and Crystal wandered behind the older girls hand in hand, Gigi excitedly rambling about all the things they would buy as souvenirs as the redhead scanned the mall in silence. She stopped her tugging at her sleeve as she pointed excitedly “Geege! Geege! Look we can make bracelets lets make eachother bracelets!” she shrieked bouncing up and down in circles. “Cryssy you’re such a weirdo” she giggled, ruffling her hair when she noticed a pout on the shorter girl’s freckled face “no pouting lets go make pretty bracelets.” The girls ran ahead to the stall, Aja yelling behind as they dragged the rest over. Each girl squealing at the chance to make their own bracelets. It was decided they would all build their own, even Farrah and Aja joined in giggling along with the younger girls. Crystal admired the pretty beads her friends had chosen, each choosing to write their own name on the string. 

Crystal sat on her stool, contemplating her choices as she selected a bead for each of the girls. Pink for Rock, Black for Widow, Purple for Heidi, Green for Gigi, blue for Dahlia and orange for herself. She checked her spellings, added her glitter and politely asked the shop woman to tie her bracelet for her. A large grin spreading across her cheeks as she paid, admiring the glistening plastic adorning her own wrist. Holding her arm up high as Farrah snapped a picture of the girls, wrapping her arm around Gigi for balance and security. Their trip to the mall was fun and for the first time in her life Crystal could say she wasn’t panicked. But good things, as her auntie Pepper warned her, never last forever. On the walk back her tummy was in knots again, Dahlia and Widow were fighting over who would sit in the wagon, Rock was whining hungrily, Heidi had fallen asleep in Aja’s arms and Gigi had ran ahead to catch a look at a dog. She stood alone, her body felt heavy and her ears rang. She suddenly regretted not eating her snack earlier, wishing she hadn’t given it to Heidi when the girl asked. Her tummy rumbled uncomfortably as she walked, the warm summer heat beating down on her back made her feel dizzy. She just wanted to curl up in the wagon take a nap or eat something to make the feeling go away but she didn’t ant her friends to worry, she was the strong one the brave Knight Crystal. Right hand woman to Queen Widow and protector of the princesses tamer of the Dah-ragon, she had her reputation to think of. But her heavy feet begged her to reconsider. The walk was agonising, she kept up her façade joking along with her friends until they hit the front door. The door swung wide open and the change in pressure made her feel ill, her hands wrapped round her waist hoping she wouldn’t be sick right there on the floor. 

Jackie greeted the girls enthusiastically, her eyes drawing to Crystal, hands wrapped round the waist as she walked. She stopped her daughter, stooping down to her level, cringing as she heard the strained groans of her stomach. “Crys sweetie, do you feel okay?” she asked, feeling her forehead to check for fever, relieved when the girl’s head felt normal. “Tummy…” she whined, letting Jackie lead her to the bathroom by the hand. “Scary tummy, icky tummy or gotta go tummy birdy?” she asked, shutting the door too behind them. “Icky…..hungry…Icky” she whispered, leaning her back against the toilet. “Hungry? Sweetie didn’t you eat? Kate did give you a snack didn’t she?” she questioned concerned, she reached out gently pressing on Crystal’s tummy, watching the girl squirm in discomfort sadly. “Alright birdy, you’re not gonna be sick so let’s not worry about that. We can go to the kitchen and find you something to eat, maybe some ginger ale to make your tummy feel less icky too.” The redhead nodded, reaching her arms out for the older woman, resting her head in the crook of Jackie’s shoulder as she focused hard on not being ill. When Jackie placed her down she didn’t expect to find Gigi sat beside her munching on a pb&j. “Crys? You don’t look so good” she said, placing her hand on Crystal’s forehead, a concerned look on her face. “My tummy hurts Geege” she whispered, not wanting the others to hear her. “Your tummy is a bully, leave Cryssy alone tummy!” Crystal smiled, resting her head on the table as Jackie set down a sandwich and ginger ale in front of her “If you can eat it all you can have some fruit snacks later too baby” she soothed, ruffling the girl’s hair as the redhead chomped down on her food. 

It turned out, food was a great cure for almost all of Crystal’s problems in life she thought. She sat by the pool firing water guns at Rock from across the edge, the girls squealing in delight as they played. She’d never felt this happy, without a care in the world she was surrounded by the people she loved the most. She made her way over to Gigi who sat on top of the Wendy house, climbing up beside her as she pulled out the packet of fruit snacks from her overalls pocket. They laid together, chatting about the good things in life, their hands brushing against each other as they dipped into the packet feeding each other fruit snacks. “Crys?” the brunette asked, sitting up to look down at her shorter friend “Yeah Geege?” she replied, pulling herself up to match her friend. “can we stay like this forever?” she said, her eyes glistening in the soft moonlight. Crystal had never seen anything more beautiful than Gigi’s soft chocolate eyes, she loved them, she found comfort in her friends smile and love in her eyes even when the skies were grey. She pondered for a moment, words flashing through her brain as she reached for her hand, taking the soft palm into her own she grinned. “Yeah Geege, as long as there are stars in the sky, we’ll sit together and share fruit snacks I promise.” The girls laid back content, specs in the universe under the stary New York skies, in that moment nothing seemed to matter but each other. Their trip had brought them closer together, cementing their strong bond in iron cladding, their stars had crossed paths and for that Crystal couldn’t be more grateful.


	18. 12pm in Central Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaida and Nicky plan a surprise for Jan and Jackie's upcoming anniversary. They enlist Crystal to help them but did they mess up asking the worlds loudest six year old to keep a secret?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, thanks for all the Kudos and Comments! glad you are enjoying the story! gonna post the side story later today, it can be read as a stand alone so it doesn;t really add much to this story but if you want some more Jankie fixes that'll be up soon. This fic is coming to an end soon I have about six chapters left to write I think but if you enjoy this universe I'll happily write more for it. I've got a new fic planned soon too (more Jankie for sure with maybe a side of NickyxJanxJackie)   
> Stay safe, healthy and hydrated see you in the next one!
> 
> Net chapter: Halloween chaos with hyperactive six year olds what could possibly go wrong?

Jaida was the essence of life, as her friends told her. The kindest, sweetest and most thoughtful friend anyone could ask for. Nicky was a little shit, devious, kind to a fault but headstrong often running her mouth for Jaida to come pick up the pieces after. But as a pair they were perfect, beyond perfect. The couple lived vicariously through their friends often, stealing Widow and Crystal for weekends at a time to have their parental experience while never taking on full responsibility, as to quote Jaida “fuck that.” Stealing Bri’s dogs, Bob’s cats and Monet’s car on occasion too. The pair loved their friends deeply and knew exactly how to treat them. Nicky and Jaida were “ride or dies” for their group adoring the girls but keeping a safe distance to avoid drama. Well Jaida did, she often had to pull Nicky away before things got heated. The couple sat on their couch, wine in hand and Nicky sprawled across Jaida’s lap planning their gift for the “double J” anniversary. After watching the car crash and revival of their best friend’s marriage over the last few months, they decided something big had to be done. They remembered their wedding bitter-sweetly, talking through ideas as the wine flowed. Nicky was always resentful Jan wore a thrift store dress she’d altered herself to save money, Jaida mad that Jackie wouldn’t let herself splash out on that horse drawn carriage moment she wanted to experience because the money could be used elsewhere. They were right of course, but the girls still wanted better for their respective best friends. As they talked, Jaida spilled her guts, Nicky grinning along as the two hatched their plan reaching simultaneously for their phones. The couple laughing and texting into the early hours of the morning until Jaida pulled Nicky to her senses reminding her they were babysitting tomorrow.

Over brunch the next day, with their friends they called a meeting, having secured Crystal for the afternoon while Jackie worked Broadway Jan had a gig in Jersey, they planned their attack. In a cute French restaurant Nicky had selected, they’d sat down to eat, the girls confused as to the occasion but enjoying themselves anyway. Crystal had never been to a place this fancy, her eyes darted around the baroque décor beaming as she pointed things out to Widow who sat across from her. She love being in a room surrounded by her aunts and she loved Widow even more at that moment as they swapped foods they didn’t like. Nicky sat her down on her lap, feeding her fondants affectionately cooing “sweeties for my sheepie” every now and again grinning back as the girl giggled. Gentle clinking of metal against glass quietened the room as a voice filled the air. “So bitches, as you know, the J’s anniversary is coming up this year and it’s a miracle they’ve lasted this long.” Jaida proclaimed, standing at the head of the table wine glass in hand. The women surrounding her nodded, Monet and Bri giggling as they passed a betting slip under the table, Monet owed her a twenty in three weeks if they made it to three years. Nicky piped up hugging Crystal tight “They got this one, Jannie saved our asses collectively more than once, Jackie works damn hard at all our shows and what do we have to show for it? That ugly ass photo of them in hand-me down dresses and an after party on Westside where Brianna’s vomiting on the table is the most vivid memory. The day was lovely gals don’t get me wrong but we could do more… so me and Miss Hall here have been thinking.” Jaida slammed her hands down on the table grinning wildly “surprise wedding!” Crystal peeked up from her place in Nicky’s lap not fully understanding what was going on but judging by the hollering, whooping and laughter this was going to be good. They ate and drank discussing their plans for the rest of the meal as the girls began to filter out. Leaving just Jaida, Nicky and Crystal behind.

They walked through the streets, Nicky swinging Crystal round in circles as they stopped at a park. Jaida buying them iced coffee, Nicky whooping at the mocha frappe she’d purchased for Crystal. “Its not an auntie day without real coffee is it sheepie?” she chuckled, Crystal grinning nodding in approval. “Baby, can we have a big girl talk really quick?” Jaida asked, holding the girl’s hand as she sat down beside her. The redhead looked up at her seemingly lost in thought as she nodded, sitting with her legs crossed, putting on her favourite “Crystal is listening” expression. “Baby, me and aunty Nicky are gonna plan a wedding for your mom’s do you know what a wedding is?” Jaida started, Crystal nodded “its when two people love each other, and they give their love partner big promises and rings right?” Jaida nodded with a thumbs up, Nicky ruffling the girl’s hair affectionately. “she’s a smart one. Yes baby, now mommy and mama had a very pretty little wedding before you were here, but they didn’t have a lotta money. We know mama and mommy wanted a few special things they couldn’t get and now they can because they got us. But we all know what your parents are like baby, they’d never let us pay for it so we gotta do it in secret. Think you can help us keep it a secret?” Crystal nodded happily bouncing in her seat in excitement, she loved parties and she loved surprises this would be fun she thought as she turned to Nicky. “Now baby auntie Nicky has some little missions for my favourite sheepie spy. think you can pull them off?” “I’m the bestest spy they’ll never catch me auntie” she boasted puffing out her chest to her aunts’ amusements. “Okay angel we’ll give you your mission list when we get you back, not a word of any of this including dinner it was just you me, Jaida, Pepper and Widow okay?” Jaida beamed down at the pair, wrapping her long arms round Nicky’s neck, she loved planning, she loved weddings she’d never get married herself her and Nicky had discussed it but she was gonna get a wedding somehow damn it even if it wasn’t hers. When Jackie came to pick Crystal up that night, Jaida slipped the list into her backpack, turning to Nicky as the door shut behind them. “Did we fuck up trusting the loudest kid in the world with our secret?” she questioned, leaning into her partners soft touches. “No my beautiful, beautiful lady, now give me some love and I’ll show you the loudest baby in the world.” She simpered, running as Jaida chased her with a pillow, she would die for that comment, but it was worth it to see the look on her girl’s perfect face.

……

Crystal’s missions quickly became her favourite game, Nicky had given her a bright new walkie talkie, orange and smothered in glitter she kept hidden in her Lego box. She’d read her list daily looking for an opportunity to complete a mission. She re-read her list again speaking through each mission in whispers to ugly birdy “1.) steal a dress from mommy and mama’s wardrobe one each, pick something pretty and tight.” She dragged a finger over the little drawings Jaida had left for her. “2.) ask mama her favourite cake flavour, mommy picked last time. 3.) Ask mommy about her dream cars, horses, bikes anything like that – this mission will be the hardest. And 4.) Get mommy and mama to talk about flowers, find out which ones they like.” She smiled to herself, tucking the paper under her pillow hoping today would be the day she could start. She got her opportunity when Jan was in the shower, leaving Crystal by herself. She dived into their bedroom climbing into Jan’s wardrobe first, her mama was easier to steal from she had lots of pretty fitted dresses, she reached for a slinky red dress carefully pulling it from the hanger and running back to her room to hide it in her backpack quickly. She snuck back to the room, trying to figure out how to go about stealing from Jackie’s wardrobe. Her mommy loved pants, occasionally skirts found her way into the wardrobe, but she lived in jeans. This meant much to Crystal’s dismay only three dresses hung in the back of the wardrobe, she sat on the floor thinking for a second, quickly making a discussion as she heard the water shut off. She grabbed a black dress from Jan’s wardrobe hanging it in Jackie’s as she took the dress diving under the bed. She held her breath trying to not make a noise as Jan’s humming filled the room. Every single second felt like hours until she heard the soft footsteps move towards the bedroom. She crawled back to her bedroom throwing the dress into her backpack, quickly running out of her room as Jan called. She’s even grabbed her paint brushes on the way out to make it look “believable.” “Birdy baby, is that paint on your face?” Jan chuckled, leaning down to wipe it off Crystal nodded giggling, secretly smug she’d completed her first task without a hitch.  
She worked harder over the next coming weeks, secretly relaying any information she’d found back to her aunts through her walkie talkie with promises of candy every time she got something right. She’d sat on the floor with Jackie, playing with her Legos and trying to build cars when she started the conversation. “Mommy we should build something pretty!” she cooed, flipping her legs as she laid down on her stomach “what’s the prettiest way batman could get to Gotham?” she asked. Jackie chuckled at he girl’s presumed antics thinking as she touched the pieces, “well baby, I don’t know if we have all the pieces but I think the horses in central park with the white carriages are beautiful” she hummed, tickling the little redhead and blowing a raspberry on her cheek. Crystal nodded grinning as they played, her other missions had been just as easy. Getting her parents talking about flowers as a piece of cake, she just pointed a few out in the park, making a game of who could spot the prettiest flower. For the cake question she begged Jan to make cupcakes, letting her mama pick the flavour, delighting in the fact that red velvet was her favourite. She’s stored her little notebook under her pillow each night handing it off to Nicky with a triumphant grin. She’s miss her spy game but the secret wedding quickly replaced it in her mind, she’d never seen a wedding before and was curious. Why was one day so much fuss she wondered, guessing she’d find out soon enough. In the meantime, she had decided to pester Nicky for candy, hoping her auntie would pull through on her promise. 

…….

To say Jackie wasn’t suspicious was an understatement, even Jan, her loveable oblivious Jan was suspicious how could she not be. Random meetups with her friends more often, Nicky and Jaida asking to take Crystal more often. Something was clearly going on. So when the week before the anniversary she got a text telling her not to plan anything there was a surprise coming she wasn’t suspicious. What did surprise her was the morning of her anniversary Jaida and Nicky stood in the doorway, Nicky running to the room to grab Jan while Jaida pulled her to the bathroom door. “You’re coming with me today Jackie girl, you’ll see your lady in a little bit buuut we gotta get you ready.” Jaida sat her on the toilet giving her a makeover the two talking amicably as she worked her soft hands. Jackie peered at her reflection in the mirror every few steps swearing she’d never looked this beautiful. “Jackie, do you trust me?” Jaida asked as she fixed the older woman’s hair into a set curl. “I trust you Jaida… why what have you done?” she chuckled, secretly hoping Jaida wouldn’t pull another look over their moment on her, having not forgiven her for the last one. “Nothing girl nothing but just trust me yeah? Put this on and come with me to the car your Jannie girl will meet us there I promise.” Jackie hesitated, reaching for the garment bag Jaida held in front of her, gapsing as she pulled the cream fabric out from its wrapping. “Jaida…. this is way too much” she mumbled hardly having time to take it in as she was pulled to the door, the soft taffeta fabric brushing against her shins. “Nothing’s too much for my Jackie girl” she cried pushing her out the door hoping to not interrupt Nicky in the bedroom.

The drive was awkward, Jackie leaning into Jaida’s side as they spoke, the brunette’s eyes resting on her friend’s face. “Jaida I’m not an idiot, this is a wedding dress did you really plan us a ceremony?” she beamed, squeezing her dear friend in reassurance. “Jaqueline, girl you deserve it, its just an itty bitty blessing ceremony from the local LGBTQ bar but you deserve that big old party, pretty dress, your Cinderella moment. We even got your parents in for this one doll. You really really deserve it and Jannie too.” Jackie tilted her head back hoping to stop the tears from falling, hugging Jaida tightly “Thanks Jai, really, thank you we don’t deserve you sometimes” she mumbled, earning a slap on the shoulder from the taller woman “chile, no, you deserve us we deserve you you’re not getting rid of us now aunt Jackie” she giggled, smoothing the brunettes hair down. “There now lets go get you set up looks like we’re here!” she cried, pulling her from the car, careful not to mess up her dress or shoes. Jackie couldn’t believe her eyes, “Jaida… the ladies pavilion are you kidding me?!” she yelled, her mouth falling into a perfect o, much t the amusement of her friends seated before her. Whoops, whistles and yells of encouragement roared from her friends, Monet, Pepper, Bri and Chelsea standing at the foot of the steps in matching burgundy dresses, similar in style to Jaida’s own waiting for her. Bob stood in the pavilion notes in hand, she was to officiate the ceremony. Jackie walked towards the front arm in arm with Jaida when she noticed them, there beside Bob were her parents. “Jaida you didn’t..” she warned, panic taking over as they walked. “Not me baby, Alexis did it and she’s chewed them out already if they start shit I’m pretty sure your mother in law will murder them in cold blood.” Jackie chuckled slightly, gripping onto Jaida’s arm for dear life. She stood beside Bob squeezing her hand gently as she waited. Her father gently touching her shoulders “wow Jackie girl, you look beautiful, absolutely beautiful my angel.” He said, his eyes glowing with pride, “thanks dad, love you too” she smiled hugging her father close. Turning to her mother, she froze, the older woman’s eyes were soft, she held her hand placing a gold chain in her hand “Jacqueline, you look beautiful, so beautiful dearest I’m so proud really I am.” She cooed, running the palm of her hand through Jackie’s hair. Jackie couldn’t believe her ears, happily catching up with her parents as she waited for her wife, butterflies swarming around her stomach as she waited.

The soft orchestral music startled Jackie rom her thoughts, she beamed as Brita, Nicky, Aiden, Lagoona and Rose walked down towards her. Each was dressed in a deep purple, the cuts of their dresses flattering them perfectly. The women slotted between Jackie’s own friends clashing burgundy and purple, the colours shouldn’t have worked in theory but in practise they looked stunning. Jackie mused, thinking of hers and Jan’s own relationship, burgundy and purple, day and night, but melding together so perfectly she couldn’t help but smile when she thought about it. The music shifted, Jackie letting out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding as hopelessly devoted floated through the park. Jackie swore the world slowed down in that moment. Jan walked towards her, her face obscured by a lace veil, she looked radiant, Alexis walked to her let smiling brightly holding her daughters hand, Jackie could almost hear the words of encouragement being directed not only to her partner but to her as well. To her left was Crystal, walking hand in hand with her mother, the girl dressed in a pale yellow, holding a bouquet of roses and lavender in her tiny hands. Jackie’s heart melted as three of the most important women in her life approached. When Jan stopped before her she swore her heart stopped, Alexis stooped picking up Crystal and let her pull the veil back, revealing Jan’s smiling face. Jackie’s whole world gravitated towards the light in her eyes, she’d never felt more complete than in that moment.

…….

Crystal watched the ceremony from Alexis’s arms, listening to her mothers, exchange pretty words. Mommy looked a little lost, mama sounded like she was gonna cry but they were good tears. She listened to auntie Bob’s speech happily, shooting looks at Widow every time friendship was brought up. She decided weddings were boring pretty quickly into the ceremony, but they were very very pretty and if they made her mothers this happy they were worth it. She watched on as they exchanged rings, Jan’s a soft silver and Jackie’s a soft gold. She cringed as they kissed, covering her eyes earning a chuckle of amusement from Alexis. When the music began to play again, she was lowered to the floor, where both her mothers held their arms out for her. She ran to them holding a hand each as they walked towards the horse and marriage wating at the end of the isle. “Mommy, mama, it’s a princess carriage, they know you’re princesses!” she squealed, Jackie chuckling as she lifted her onto the seat climbing n beside her. Jan pulled herself up snuggling into her side. “My girls” Jan whispered affectionately, kissing Crystal’s forehead and leaning in to kiss Jackie deeply. Crystal poked her tongue out, she’d never admit it but she loved watching her parents kiss, it was icky but it meant they loved each other and to her that was beautiful. 

The night came quickly, they partied into the early hour, Jan and Jackie dancing to Madonna tracks for their couple’s dance, feeding each other cake and talking to their friends. Jaida and Nicky sat perched by the window of the reception hall, cuddled up into each other’s side. “did we do good baby?” Jaida asked, kissing her girlfriend’s cheeks. “We did great baby,” she simpered pulling her closer and kissing her deeply, “you know Jai, mon petit chou, I have been thinking, maybe the whole wedding thing wouldn’t be too bad, not any time soon but maybe one day.” Jaida gasped, settling herself onto her partners thighs, kissing her quickly “you mean it Nicks, like really?” the Parisian nodded, laughing contently into her partners neck. The night would be one to remember a day of love for all in attendance, Jaida thought, sighing contently as she breathed in the scent of her girlfriend. She smelt like safety, comfort and most importantly, she smelt like home.


	19. 9pm in the Haunted House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystal's new found love of Halloween is really sweet. Jackie loves to see her passionate, so does Jan but sugar and an already hyperactive six-year-old is not a great combination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and Kudos! Glad you guys are enjoying the story so far! Working on the next chapter already, I'm a little sad this fic will be coming to a close soon but I'm really happy with it and how its going.  
> Stay Healthy, safe and Hydrated
> 
> Next Chapter: Crystal's first real sleepover

Halloween had become Crystal’s favourite holiday very quickly. The girl was obsessed with monsters and scary things gravitating to old horror movie’s after Aiden accidently played Nightmare on Elm Street while babysitting. Widow had cried, screamed and begged for the TV to be shut off but Crystal watched in awe as Freddy descended on the helpless teens. Aiden had been chewed out but secretly began to show the girl more age appropriate scary movies, Coraline, nightmare before Christmas, the corpse bride and Beetlejuice quickly becoming her go to favourites. Jackie had almost fainted when she heard the girl singing the Halloween theme song, phoning Aiden immediately who swore she’d just played the soundtrack nothing more. She decorated her room with spooky glow in the dark cobwebs and a pair of devil horns she hung on her bed secretly counting down through October. As the days grew nearer her excitement grew, animatedly telling her mother’s about her costume plans, she was gonna be the spookiest this year and not even Gigi Goode would out do her.

Jan was placed in charge of Halloween costumes after losing a coin toss, taking Crystal out to the nearest goodwill to help her make her choice. The redhead bounded through the isles picking up pre-made costumes and placing them back down just as quickly. Jan giggled, bending down to her daughter, patting her gently on the back “what costume are you thinking baby? Scooby Doo? Elsa?” she questioned, smiling sweetly as she waited for her daughter’s reply. “I wanna be Freddy mama, please, please!” she begged, holding her hands up for the blonde, putting on her best puppy dog face. The blonde scooped her up, contemplating for a moment, she was honestly more concerned with what other parents would think but ultimately decided she didn’t fucking care. “Okay birdy, lets make a deal, you can be Freddy but no knife gloves. You don’t wanna make Heidi cry do you?” Crystal shook her head, remembering how much the girl had screamed the year before at the fake swords in the haunted house, to this day Heidi refused to touch anything that even remotely resembled a knife claiming it’d give her nightmares. After searching for a while Jan had struck gold, snatching up a small men’s green and red stripped sweater she could cut up to fit her baby. Crystal ran around the store with a large fedora placed on her head, picking up pumpkins, necklaces and anything else spooky she could find. “Baby, come to mama! I got it!” she cooed, pulling the girl in close. “Now help mama pick a costume, sweets, what do you think for me?” she asked, brushing her curls back out of her eyes. Crystal hummed thinking things over before a grin spread over her face “That’s easy mama! Sandy!” Jan cooed her nodding affirmatively taking her hand to stop her from running off. They walked home in the dusk, the orange glow hanging over the buildings much to Crystal’s delight, she sang the pumpkin king as she walked ahead, leaving Jan to carry the bags behind her.

………..

Halloween night rolled round quicker than the pumpkin Jackie dropped off the counter. She grimaced picking up the orange menace continuing to carve her Hocus Pocus design into its flesh. Crystal sat beside her decorating a smaller pumpkin with stickers, humming loudly as she swung her legs. “where do you wanna put your jack-o-lantern birdy? The window the door or the balcony she hummed. Placing her tealight into the pumpkin lighting it quickly as she placed the electric light into Crystal’s. “Door!” she squealed carrying her precious pumpkin over to the doorway, Tic-Tac winding round her legs with each step. “No Tic-Tac not for you.” Jackie scooped up the girl in one arm, carrying her over to the door letting her arrange the pumpkins to her liking, “well done Cryssy it looks great baby, high five?” She smiled as the girl slapped her small palm against her own. She held her hand tightly, leading the girl inside. Crystal sat by the entrance way looking up at her mother with pleading eyes, the brunette taking a seat beside her “What is it pumpkin?” she asked softly, watching as the smaller body turned to the bookshelf, rifling through the older more worn texts. “Mommy… can you read me this one I’m big now I can handle it!” she begged. In her hands laid Jackie’s worn college copy of Dracula, her little notes marking every margin with soft hearts surrounding Mina’s passages. She took the book into her own hands, waiting for the girl to settle into their story time beanbag, propping herself up against the ottoman. “she flicked through the pages, the story flashing through her mind as she told a watered-down version of the classic. Making her signature Jackie Cox story voices for each character. The green eyes sparkled with excitement, widening as Lucy was killed off and narrowing at any suspicious detail she picked up on. She loved scary stories, she loved romance and she loved Vampires the most, she lost herself in thought imagining Gigi and Heidi being stalked by a Vampire and how much better she’d be at protecting her friends than dumb Jonathan was. She smiled brightly as Jackie finished the story hugging her tightly with a soft “thanks mommy.” Jackie held her, looking over her fondly “you know sweetie, one year before I met your mama I wanted to dress up as Mina so bad for Halloween I made auntie Jaida help me sew a table cloth into a dress.” She leaned close to the girl’s ear purposefully elongating her pause to annoy her “and it was the ugliest dress ever” she said. Both laughing, leaning against the wall, Tic Tac climbing up onto the bean bag above them settling over them unbothered. The clack of heels against the floor caught Jackie’s attention, the brunette looking up her mouth falling open. 

She hoped she wasn’t actually drooling, Jan stood above them both, a sweet smile on her red painted lips. “Having fun dolls, baby Gigi’s mommy called, she said Geege could come trick or treating with us Rock, Dahlia and Heidi, would you like that sweetie?” Crystal whooped animatedly talking about their plans, Jackie tried to focus but Jan’s skin-tight Sandy costume had her brain melting, she looked stunning, perfect, her soft blonde curls scrunched up into tighter messy waves falling around her face. “Jannie baby, is she dropping baby Geege off or are we picking her up.” The blonde smiled, helping the brunette up “She’s bringing Gigi and pizza as a thank you, she even got you pineapple you weirdo.” She giggled, placing a soft kiss on Jackie’s lips. “Now Baby Cox, you need to get ready want mama to do your makeup?” Crystal squealed excitedly running to her room to get dressed, the brunette pulling the blonde to the bedroom placing kisses on her shoulders, careful not to leave a mark “so pretty babe, you’re wearing this next time we’re alone.” Jan hummed, kissing Jackie’s nose “I wanna see you in yours gorge, please? I’ll do your hair if you like.” She sing-songed, sitting down on the bed, contently watching Jackie change into her leather and denim. The brunette sat between her legs on the bed sighing as the gentle fingers worked through her tresses, styling a curled quaffed 1950’s style updo. She shut her eyes blissfully, her favourite place in the entire universe was sat with Jan’s hands in her hair, it was euphoric she could fall asleep right there if Jan let her. “My Jackie Zuko T-bird beauty” the blonde hummed, pulling her hands back from her hair, placing a soft kiss on her cheek, knowing Jackie would limit them once she did her makeup. She laid the blonde back on the bed, reaching for her phone, posing stupidly for her Instagram story. Jan squealed at the cute photo kissing her face, chuckling as the redhead bounded into the room flopping on the bed beside her. “Guess you better start your makeup gorge, Birdy needs me to do hers.” 

Crystal watched in awe as her mother finished her makeup, Jan had painted a creepy black and red eye shadow with a big black lip, glitter strewn across her face. She placed the hat on her head, jumping down off the stool twirling in the mirror, “Mommy am I scary?” Jackie turned from her seat at the mirror smiling brightly “Oh she’s so spooky!” she crowed, Jan whistling at the brunette “and she’s the coolest!” Crystal stared up at her parents, her face deadpan “Mommy, mama you look good but that’s icky!” she said, bursting into a fit of giggles, squealing as they both piled on top of her tickling her. “Meanie” Jackie chuckled, kissing her forehead, helping the girl up. They sat on the floor, Jan taking a quick selfie on her phone, sending it off to Nicky and Alexis when the doorbell rang. Crystal bolted spooking Tic-Tac in the process, opening the door with a loud “boo!” Gigi squealed launching herself into the redhead’s arms “Cryssy! Happy Halloween! You look so scary I missed you” she said quickly her words jumbling together in typical Geege fashion. The shorter girl hugged her tightly, looking at her costume, “Wow, wow, wow, Gigi you’re the prettiest pirate ever!” she squealed, swinging the girl in circles as Kate watched them from behind. She awkwardly greeted Jackie handing of the pizza and Gigi’s backpack over “thanks for tonight Jackie sweetheart, you too Jannie! Genevieve darling mommy will pick you up from Heidi’s at ten, okay? Have a fun night with Cryssy! Bye girls, Cryssy you look so cute in your little costume. Bye muffin!” she cooed, quickly waving and quickly leaving for work. Gigi stared up at Jackie, reaching her arms up, Jackie stooped hugging the girl tightly “hello baby Geege, that’s such a cool costume!” she greeted enthusiastically. Gigi deadpanned momentarily “Jackie this isn’t a costume this is a look” she said, Jackie blinking and giggling patting her head “Whatever you say Gigi, pizza?” Both girls whooped climbing onto the couch. Their evening was pleasant, eating pizza and pumpkin pie, cuddling and watching Hocus Pocus. The girls laid under a blanket gossiping and giggling, Jackie wondering I she’d already fed them too much sugar. They ran around the apartment playing monsters, screeching and tumbling until Jan’s phone went off. The blonde announced the others were waiting, checking their makeup and ushering them over to the door, excitedly, giggling as the girls raced nearly falling over in the process. “Girls come on Heidi’s mommy called, lets go trick or treating!” she cooed, the girls grabbing their bags and running ahead leaving Jackie to do a quick clean up. She shook her head endearingly; they were in for one hell of a night.

…………..

Crystal ran ahead, the second they stepped out the car. Giggling as she rushed to Rock tackling her from behind. “Boo!” she yelled, tickling the taller girl. “No fair! Cryssy stop you’ll ruin my costume!” she cried, turning to face her. Rock wore her lumpy space princess ballgown with pride, placing her hands on her hips as she looked the other two up and down. “Nice costumes! See daddy, told you, you wouldn’t be the only one dressed up!” she yelled, pointing to Jan and Jackie. The adults greeting each other with soft laughter. Crystal looked at her friends smiling brightly, Heidi was dressed in her Pinocchio outfit bow dangling around her neck and Dahlia was dressed as a cat, her tail swinging behind her. She was so impressed with her friends, they all looked so good. She hugged each of them tightly, the girls giggling and squealing as Heidi led the girls up the street. They knocked from door to door, yelling trick or treat as the adults behind the door fawned over them. Heidi cooed pawing through her candy as they walked, trading skittles for chocolate with Rock. Crystal stayed up the back with Gigi, the girls walking hand in hand until Dahlia screamed “Haunted house! Mommy can we go?” racing off ahead, her mother following behind her. 

The haunted house was, in a word spooky. The black Victorian front smothered in spiderwebs and fake tombstones. Crystal had never been more excited, she held onto Gigi’s hand tight leading the girl towards the door turning when she felt the brunette stop. “Gigi are you scared?” she whispered, patting her on the shoulder. The brunette nodded timidly, looking down at the floor “I don’t want the others to think I’m a baby.. but its scary…” The shorter girl leaned forward, placing a hand on each shoulder, “Nobody thinks you’re a baby Geege! I think you’re the coolest, if you don’t wanna go in we don’t have to but if we do I’ll hold your hand the whole way round I promise!” she said with her signature toothy grin, Gigi’s cool blue eyes met Crystal’s warm green, flashing a quick smile she nodded leading the girl inside the house. Jackie nudged Jan’s shoulder, chuckling as they watched form the “parents station,” She leaned in whispering “Either they’re going to be sister friends or Cryssy has it real bad and doesn’t notice yet” she chuckled earning a slap on the shoulder and a wicked grin from the blonde. “Jackie they’re six! Hold the bets off until they’re like nine or something” she cooed, pressing herself against the older woman, smiling into the crook of her neck as they watched the girls through the set up camera’s provided by the home owner.

Inside the house, the girls were panicking, Heidi and Rock gripping onto Dahlia and screaming at every jump scare, laughing it off only to scream again when a plastic bat flew overhead. Crystal, much to the other girl’s annoyance giggled, clapping her hands excitedly at every jump, yelling boo back in the face of a zombie as it sprang up at them. She’d look over every few seconds to check on Gigi finding the brunette to be unbothered by the loud noises and jump scares, only flinching slightly as the actors approached. The girls pressed on walking towards the stairs where the fake lightening flashed and thunder roared. “I’m not going up there lightening brings monsters!” Heidi cried, burying her face into Rock’s shoulder. “But Heidi this was your idea!” Dahlia whined, trying to hide the panic in her voice. Crystal squeezed Gigi’s hand with her left taking Heidi’s in her right as she lead them up the stairs “Come on guys, I’m the spookiest thing in here they won’t mess with you if they see me” she boasted, running her finger’s soothingly over Heidi’s palm. She waited for each girl to consent as they climbed the stairs, the creaky wood filling them with dread. Each step seemed to take hours, as they approached the bedroom, a shadowy figure sat up on the bed staring at them, letting out a horrific shriek. Four screams echoed through the house, but Crystal stood firm, ignoring the trembling of her knees as she marched over to the candy bowl by the bedside. She took a deep breath, staring intently at the zombie woman sat up in the bed, hissing and snarling at her. For a second she thought she would faint, but she swallowed, shut her eyes quickly and held out her pumpkin, her eyes snapped open flashing her signature grin yelling trick or treat at the tip of her lungs. The zombie leaned forward, inching closer towards her as a hand shot out to ruffle her hair “aren’t you the bravest little Freddy I ever did see.” The zombie chuckled, fetching a bucket from behind her pouring candy bars into the little pumpkin the redhead clutched tightly in her shaky palms. Seeing the promised treasure each girl ran forward yelling trick or treat as the zombie poured treats into their respective bags. The girls latching onto Crystal as the zombie pointed them towards the exit. They left the house down the fireman’s pole, each giggling about how they weren’t scared really much to their parent’s amusement. 

Crystal stood by Jackie giggling when she felt Gigi’s soft hand tap her aggressively on the shoulder, she turned screaming as the brunette launched herself at the shorter girl knocking her down. They giggled, rolling around for a moment, laying on the ground beside each other contently. The brunette lent into her friend whispering “You’re my brave hero Cryssy thanks for giving me your fruit snacks.” The redhead grinned lacing her fingers through Gigi’s own, “Its cool Geege, anything for my bestest friend in the whole wide world she giggled.” The girls sighed as they were pulled upright by the parents for the trek back to Heidi’s home, they’d have happily stayed on the ground for the rest of the evening if they could. Nothing could ever be boring if Crystal had Gigi, they were simply perfect for each other, co-creators of their own perfect world as Miss West would tell them. Crystal wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but she thought it sounded pretty so she liked it, all she knew is when Gigi was by her side nothing else really mattered. Well except, Rock, Dahlia, Heidi, Widow, her parents and Tic-Tac but that went without saying of course.

……….

The rest of the evening went by quickly, the girls sitting round Heidi’s fake campfire telling scary stories. Rock ended up crying until the others built a pillow fort cuddling round the frightened girl, whispering apologies and soft words of encouragement. They tried to limit the amount of candy the girls consumed but five hyperactive six-year-olds told them they weren’t all that successful. The best part of that according to Jackie was the fact Crystal was sugar crashing by the time they carried her back to the apartment. The sleepy girl had her head tucked into the crook of Jan’s neck, face clean of makeup, Jackie had scrubbed her clean with a makeup wipe the second her head started nodding in the uber back. They changed her quickly, placing her down on her bed with ugly birdy kissing her goodnight. They weren’t sure if she heard them or not, the second her head hit the pillow the girl was out like a light. Jackie pulled the door to, backing her wife up to the couch pressing her down into the soft pillows, “She’s never having that much candy again ever” the older woman groaned. Jan nodded, humming appreciatively “at least she had fun gorge, they’re all so cute when they’re together.” She cooed, smiling brightly up at her, Jackie smiled, she was whipped, and she knew it but she couldn’t change it for the world. “Enough kid talk, I’ve got a beautiful Sandy beneath me on Halloween night and I’m pretty sure you’re the one that I want right now.” She simpered, Jan rolled her eyes scoffing lunging for a pillow to smack her with “God Jackie that was horrible, now you gotta carry me as punishment.” The brunette scooped her up effortlessly, pressing the blonde into her body kissing her deeply, “hardly a punishment babe” she said making her way towards the bedroom. Halloween may not have been her favourite holiday, but the brunette certainly would remember the night for years to come she mused as she sunk into the pillow, drifting off, the warmth of the blonde beside her grounding her. 

Jackie looked at the clock she groaned, she’d woken up at four in the morning thanks to a loud crash of lightening. She sighed, shooting daggers at the blonde next to her, wondering if she’d be able to sleep through a hurricane, the girl was dead to the world. She pulled herself up, rubbing her eyes, reaching for her glasses as she noticed the whimpers coming from across the hall. She padded across the hallway careful not to wake the blonde, although she wasn’t sure that would be possible, not expecting to find Crystal sat bolt upright in bed, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Cryssy sweetie what’s wrong? Tummy?” she soothed, sitting beside the girl, checking the sheets, thankful she hadn’t had an accident. “Mommy…storm…scary” she whimpered, between deep inhales, the thunder rumbling softly almost to torment them. “Oh baby its just a storm its okay, come to mommy baby” she cooed, holding her arms out for the redhead to snuggle in “But..but the …the monsters live in the storm mommy…that’s what Heidi said and H-Heidi doesn’t lie!” The brunette ran her fingers up and down Crystal’s spine, humming softly trying to calm her down. She wanted to tell her the monsters weren’t real that she’d be safe, looking down into the watery green eyes her bravado melted, no she didn’t need that right now. She held her closer, rocking her softly “wanna sleep in mommy’s bed tonight baby? Just this once?” The redhead nodded, curling up to Jackie as she carried her back to the bedroom. As she drifted off with her daughter in her arms Jackie couldn’t help but smile, sure she was growing up fast and sure she’d be more independent soon, but she was still her baby. That same little girl Jan had brought home who cried at storms and struggled with her orange juice cartons. She shut her eyes pondering, ultimately deciding she’d be perfectly content if Crystal never grew up, but even if she did, she’d always be her little girl.


	20. 10pm at Gigi's House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gigi's mom is letting her throw a slumber party! The girls are excited, well all but one. Crystal is scared, can she overcome her fears with a little push int he right direction from her parents?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, hope you enjoy the chapter! thank you for all the kudos and comments!  
> I've started on the next chapter and a new fic too for anyone interested. I've got an ending for this one planned for sure but if people enjoy the universe and want me to write more I'll happily set up a request one shot fic or this universe!
> 
> Stay safe, healthy and Hydrated! ^-^
> 
> Next chapter: Jackie has always been over protective sure but sometimes she needs to be. When Crystal gets hurt all hell breaks lose. Will Jackie ever forgive Nicky or will tension take the better of her. Jan's stuck in the middle and Crystal just wants a nap.

Fall quickly shifted into winter trees shed their leaves, the bare branches replacing the once beautiful umber leaves, the mild autumn winds turned icy, picking up through the city. In their Hell’s Kitchen apartment Jackie was curled up in blankets, her daughter laying over her legs, the pair playing Mario kart on the big screen. “Blue shell!” Crystal screamed, swerving her Yoshi off the track hoping to avoid it pouting as it hit her car. Jackie chuckled slightly moving up into second place, just falling behind the redhead at the finish line. Crystal giggled, smiling up at her giving a high five as Yoshi and Peach sat on the winner’s podiums. “Good job baby” Jackie praised her, ruffling her hair smiling as the girl flopped back down over her legs. Jackie smiled, letting the girl play a few solo rounds as she checked her messaged reading through a few group chats, when she spotted a new group with a Disney icon. Tapping on it she smiled reading through the messages.  
Gigi’s Slumber Party Group Chat:  
  
GoodeMom: Hi darlings, I’m letting Gigi throw a little slumber party next week as a treat for passing piano. To no surprises she wants your little ones there! It’s just be the four girls of course I’ll be supervising no problems there. It’d be next Friday night to Saturday afternoon we’ll take the girls to Build-A-Bear on the Saturday and take them to lunch if you’d like? Let me know ASAP!  
  
Heidi’snumber1fan: Heidi is excited we just asked her she’d love to come. We’ll get cookies for the girls  
  
Sinful: Dahlia’s already started packing I’ll run to the store on the day and get the girls some snacks too!  
  
DadofRockJohnson: Rocky’s excited too she’ll bring pretzels please send any allergies. see you on Saturday!  
  
Crystalized: Not home right now but Crystal will definitely wanna come. If its cool with Jackie (she can ask baby) I’ll bake any preferences? I’ll make extra for parents  
  
TeamHeidi: JANNIE MAKE YOUR BROWNIES PLEASE MY LOVE  
  
CampCrystalLake: Gonna ask Cryssy now its fine with me primitively Cryssy will be coming too see you all on Saturday!  
  
Jackie peered up over at her daughter. “Crystal?” she asked, the redhead jumping slightly placing the switch down carefully onto the table. The girl stared up at her expectantly, a slightly worried look on her face. Jackie raised an eyebrow; she’d clearly done something she shouldn’t have earlier and hidden it she knew that face. “Cryssy baby what did you do? Tell me and I’ll tell you some good news.” She questioned firmly, watching as the girls eyes darted over to her room, she let her head fall down mumbling under her breath “Tic-Tac…well…” She jumped off the couch, her skinny legs bending on impact as she ran to her room to collect the animal. Jackie wheezed, Crystal had dressed Tic-Tac in an ugly sweater Nicky had gifted her for Christmas, the cat looking up at Jackie unamused by the situation. She caught sight of the white smudges around the animal’s mouth chuckling as she clocked it. “So you stole the cream to feed Tic-Tac, is that what you’re trying to tell me baby?” Crystal nodded, a small blush creeping up onto her cheeks “just ask next time angel.” Jackie cooed, pulling her into a tight hug. Small arms wrapped around her larger frame, curls tickling her chin as she leant into the embrace. Jackie released her, watching as she climbed back onto the couch.  
  
She paused for a moment, waiting for the girl to settle, “Baby, Gigi’s invited you to a slumber party at her house next Friday, would you like to go?” Jackie was expecting a lot of reactions, jumping up and down, happy tears, excited nodding, what she wasn’t expecting was for the girl to curl in on herself, nodding awkwardly. “Cryssy….what’s going on in your head, lets talk about it.” She said, making sure to keep her voice calm and soothing. Crystal crawled over placing her head down in her mother’s lap, assuming their usual position for “mommy talk.” She stared up at the older woman resting her head in her arms, “I want to go but Dahlia will make fun of me if I bring my pillow and Gigi loves Dahlia, so she’ll be there. B-but I can’t sleep without my pillow.” Jackie carded her fingers through her curls, softly moving them out of the way, placing a soft kiss to the side of her forehead. “Crystal angel she shouldn’t be making fun of you, I thought you were friends.” The redhead snapped her neck up to look at her, tears threatening to spill “We are friends mommy, I love her but she likes to make mean jokes. A-and most of the time its okay but I don’t wanna be embarrassed. I’m not a b-baby for sleeping with my pillow…right?” she whimpered, the brunette feeling tears well up in her own eyes. “No sweetie you’re not a baby or wanting your pillow. If she says anything mean just remember even though words hurt a lot they are only words sweetie. You can use your own words to make stuff better I promise.” Crystal stared up at her, her eyes glossy with tears but her signature grin plastered on her cheeks “you’re the best mommy.” Jackie smiled back ruffling her hair, only to grimace as the redhead rolled over knees digging into Jackie’s side as she went back to her game.  
Jackie wrapped her arm around the girl, turning her attention back to the tv. She was proud of her, she was so proud of her daughter but she really didn’t want her to grow up. She held her small body in her arms, studying the girl below her, even if she didn’t want her friends to think she was a baby. She hoped, she begged, that Crystal would still be their baby for at least a little while longer. The redhead pouted, placing her head back down in Jackie’s lap, placing the switch controller on her lap. “Okay baby, one more round” she cooed, her heart swelling as Crystal smiled at her nickname. No matter what Jackie convinced herself Crystal would be her baby.  
……..  
  
Packing her bag turned out to be the hardest thing. Gigi had spent the entire week telling everyone how excited she was for her party, what pyjamas she was going to wear and what bear she was planning to get. Crystal had even begged Jan to take her shopping, dragging the blonde through isle after isle of kids pjs until she found the perfect set. She’d even let Jan convince her to buy a soft green dress she thought would look nice next to Gigi’s own green jacket she liked to wear in the wintertime. She laid on her bed one arm hanging onto Jan the other gripping her pillow. She stared up at the blonde hopefully, pleading with her eyes for Jan to understand the gesture. The blonde pulled her up onto her lap, holding her close with a soft hum “Birdy don’t worry we’ll leave enough space for your pillow I promise, you can even hide it under your pjs if you think Dahlia might see it” she said, calmly drawing patterns on her back. “I wanna wear my leopard shirt on Friday” she whispered, cuddling into the tight embrace. “Cryssy? Is your tummy hurting baby?” she asked firmly, holding her daughter by the shoulder, careful not to scare her. “My tummy…its going crazy mama…it feels icky.” Jan held her closer, rubbing her tummy softly, the girl relaxing into her arms “Baby those are your nerves, when you feel nervous or scared it’ll make your tummy flip like when you have your anxiety baby. But its different right? What do you think is making you nervous?” She thought hard, rubbing her fingers across her temples as she thought. “I am nervous about…. What if Gigi thinks I am embarrassing because I’m not cool like Dahlia.” Jan nodded, placing a hand on Crystal’s back “did Gigi ever say you’re not cool?” she asked the girl shaking her head, “has Dahlia?” she shook her head again “Not since theatre club.” Jan hummed again, pressing her fingers into the girl’s back, feeling her relax against her gentle hand “what about Rock and Heidi?” “No Heidi says I’m the coolest and Rock thinks we are all dorks.” She said decisively, Jan grinning down on her “then nobody thinks you aren’t cool then do they baby?”  
  
The bit her lip shaking her head, snuggling deeper into the blonde’s sweater, seeking comfort. “No mama, but I’m scared they’ll be mean.” She whispered, the blonde’s soft arms wrapping round her body, like a shield “Baby, if anyone is mean your friends will stand up for you, I promise. You tell them that what they said was mean and it hurt you and they’ll stop. Sometimes we think we’re joking but it hurts someone else, and when we hear the other person speak, we realise just how much we hurt them.” She soothed, smiling down at the mop of red curls moving around in her lap. “And birdy if they don’t stop tell Gigi’s mom and she’ll call us right away okay? You know mommy and me would never let anything bad happen to our little birdy.” She said, tickling her Crystal squirming in her arms giggling. “Mama we gotta finish packing lemme go” she yelled, trying to get away from Jan’s merciless tickle attack. “Okay baby, do you still wanna wear your leopard shirt today?” She nodded eagerly, pulling the garment from her wardrobe grabbing a pair of black jeans and a scarf to match “can I bring some necklaces?” she asked, bouncing on her heels. “Take three, no more or you’ll forget them silly bird” she cooed, gently pinching the girl’s cheek as she left the room letting Crystal dress herself. She walked across the hall to the couch taking Jackie’s laptop from her hands and flopping down into the awaiting arms below. “Jannie, those are some serious puppy eyes, what do you want my lovely?” Jackie chuckled, pressing a kiss on her lips “I’m sad our baby is going away to do grown up things. But we have the whole house to ourselves tonight so can you fu-” She was cut off by Jackie’s soft lips, “yes, yes I can babe but a certain someone is standing in the doorway and I don’t think she’s ready to know that yet.” She whispered with a wink. Jan stared up at the brunette smiling, fuck, she thought that woman is going to be the death of me.  
  
…..  
  
Crystal squealed and chirped the entire walk to Gigi’s house, her backpack glittering under the streetlamps as she told Jan her plans for the evening again, Jackie texting Kate to make sure they were good to come. Gigi had specifically asked Crystal to come over earlier so she could paint her nails for her. Crystal being the best painter of the group happily obliging. They approached he front door, Jackie leaned down to kiss her forehead and Jan squeezed her tightly. Crystal smiled up at them both waving her hands as the door opened. “Hi Cryssy! Hi Jackie, Jan thanks for bringing her. Gigi is so excited, she’s up in her room Cryssy if you want to see her. First door on your left.” Crystal nodded, chirping a quick goodbye and I love you to the older women, hugging them both once for luck as she pelted up the stairs. Gigi’s house was big, she wasn’t used to seeing so many rooms in one house. The girl shook her head, continuing to search until she found the pale green door with a pink GINEVIVE painted on the wood. She knocked, opening the door when she heard the brunette squeak. She’d never seen Gigi’s room before, she was shocked, everything was a pale pastel shade of blue, yellow or pink, her bed had a canopy and her toys lined both the shelves and the closet, judging by the barbie peaking its head out of the door. “Gigi your room is so pretty!” she squealed running to hug her friend. Gigi herself latched onto the redhead giggling “Crystal I missed you! Let’s do painting!” she squealed spinning the shorter redhead round by her arms.  
  
They settled on the soft rug, Gigi’s hand in Crystal’s. The smaller girl painting cute pink flowers on the brunettes fingers, listening as Gigi told her about her week. All the games she’d played with her brothers, how much she hated the piano lessons her mother made her do and how excited she was to play with them. Crystal finished her painting capping Gigi’s nail polish bottle with a smile, giggling as her friend fawned over her nails. “Crys! You did so good they’re so pretty. Just for that you get the special bed tonight!” “special bed?” she questioned, looking to where Gigi pointed at a window seat, smothered in soft pillows, easily big enough for two. “I’m sleeping in my bed, Dahlia and Rocky have the blow up mattress and you and Heidi gets the window bed” she said decisively nodding. Crystal grinned up at her, nodding tackling her friend onto the carpet below as they played. One by one the girls arrived, Gigi asking Crystal to paint their nails to match, Heidi choosing paw prints, Rock wanting bubbles (Crystal thought they looked more like blobs but Rock was happy so she didn’t say anything) and Dahlia asked for daisies.  
She sat on the rug painting Dahlia’s fingers when the dark-haired girl spoke “I wanna do your hair Crys, you never do stuff to it.” Crystal looked over at the mirror, poking one of her curls, watching the ringlet spring back into place. “They don’t like to move but you can try” she said softly, Dahlia grinning waving her hands to dry her nails faster. She sat on the floor joining in conversations as Heidi braided Gigi’s hair and Dahlia grabbed a brush dragging it through her own. “Wow they really don’t move,” Dahlia pouted looking over at Gigi, “do you have a straightener Geege?” Crystal panicked, it felt like a rock dropped into her stomach “don’t those burn? Dahlia I’m scared.” Dahlia shushed her taking a straightener off of Gigi’s bedstand, Gigi murmuring “Dahlia mommy said I can’t use that in case I burn… maybe you should leave Cryssy’s hair alone.” Dahlia rolled her eyes, “I do Aja’s hair all the time and theirs always looks nice right?” all four nodded, Crystal gulping slightly her hands shaking. “Dahlia…I’m really scared please don’t burn my hair. Please?” the dark hair girl sat down in front of her hugging her tight “I won’t burn you don’t be scared I promise Crys it’ll look really, really pretty, let me try? If it hurts tell me and I’ll stop.” The redhead gulped looking up into the dark eyes, ignoring the other three girls staring at them, Heidi dropping Gigi’s hair mid plait. “Okay but promise you’ll stop if I say so?” Dahlia nodded, smiling brightly hugging her tight to reassure her “its gonna look so pretty I promise!”  
  
They sat continuing to talk, Rock talking about her new favourite show. Twirling around a barbie in her fingers while she spoke. Crystal leaned back slightly shutting her eyes, the warm flat iron running through her hair. They played barbie, Dahlia telling her to sit still every now and again. “Okay, done Cryssy it looks so pretty. I’m a genius I should be a Youtuber or something” she grinned. Gigi, Heidi and Rock cooed, running their hands through her hair. Crystal followed their fingers shocked when it past her shoulders, her hair always sat above her shoulder. She stood up walking over to the mirror, shocked that her hair hit her mid back, she ran a finger through it, looking over at Dahlia with a smile “its so long” she hummed, running her fingers through the much loser curls. She hugged Dahlia tightly, the taller girl resting her hand on her head “your welcome Cryssy, you look super cute, we could be sisters now” she giggled, rolling on the floor, pulling the girl with her. Gigi flopped on top of them, curling her arms round the smaller girl, Rock and Heidi flopping on top. Heidi sitting on top giggling “I win I’m the queen.” The other four whooping in agreement, before pushing her off to let Dahlia breathe.  
  
The girls spent the rest of their evening playing, watching Disney movies and eating the pizza Gigi’s mom had gotten them. Gigi’s mom came in to shut off the light encouraging the girl to sleep before midnight, each of them clambering into their beds. Rock decided truth or dare in the dark was the best course of action encouraging the others to join in “Okay my idea so I start! Gigi truth or dare?” she shout whispered, cupping a hand over her mouth when Dahlia shushed her. “dare” the brunette said proudly, Rock smirking from across the room “I dare you to lick the floor” she giggled, surprised when Gigi clambered off the end to lick the carpet, complaining about the perfumed taste of her moms detergent. They circled round each girl doing dare after are, Dahlia having to drink coke mixed with chocolate, Heidi having to stand on her head for a minute. Crystal still felt slightly ill as she let Rock lick her arm, shed managed to avoid being picked on, only having to put her tongue against the window so far. It was Dahlia’s turn to pick, the girl’s eyes darting around the dimly lit room, Gigi’s power puff girl nightlight casting the room into a sickly pink hue. “Crystal, truth or dare?” She smiled at Dahlia, almost challenging her with an assertive “dare.” A wicked grin spread across Dahlia’s face “I dare you to drink this” she said holding out a drink she’d been mixing behind her back. “what is in it?” she asked, staring down at the fizzing cup “stuff and things, it’s not poison honest.” Dahlia retorted, all eyes falling on Crystal as she lifted the cup to her mouth. She drank it screwing her eyes shut, it was biter and spicy, she wanted to stop but she wanted to be cool, so she kept drinking. Placing the empty cup down on the floor “that was icky. Dahlia what was in it my mouth is burning” she whimpered, Heidi moving to pat her back comfortingly “it sure smelled bad Crys, you’re brave” she commented, cuddling up to the taller girl sleepily. “It was coke, hot sauce, lemon, cookie and ketchup” she said, patting Crystal’s shoulder “and you drank it all that was so badass” she giggled, praising the girl in front of her.  
  
She went to sleep feeling on top of the world, her friends all praising her for her bravery. Rock even calling her the coolest at one point, they had enjoyed their evening falling asleep one by one. Crystal sat up staring at the clock, it was 3am, she wondered why she was awake until she felt a familiar churning in her tummy, she didn’t feel good. Not one bit, she ran to the door, clapping a hand over her mouth just in case, making her way to the bathroom. She curled up against the toilet tears streaming down her cheeks as she waited for her tummy to stop. The pain seemed to be getting worse, her body angrily fighting against her as she cried. She drifted into a tumultuous sleep, shocked to be woken up again. This time Gigi’s mother stood above her, gently pulling her up into a sitting position “Crystal honey, why are you sleeping in the bathroom?” she chuckled, looking down at the redhead’s sad eyes. “I felt sick… I’m sorry I didn’t throw up I-I promise. I-I feel better now” She stuttered, lowering her head to avoid eye contact. Kate scooped up the little girl into her arms shushing her gently “Oh Crys its okay sweetheart it happens, do you want to try go back to sleep or do you want to ait for the other girls downstairs I can make you some ginger ale to stop your tummy ache” she soothed, noticing the girl’s small winces at their movements. “Can I wait downstairs please?” she asked her voice quiet, trying to hide herself from Kate’s watchful gaze. The older woman carried her downstairs, finding Heidi sitting on the couch crying reaching out for the redhead in tears. “Crystal! I thought you got kidnapped!” she wailed, Kate lowering the girl to the floor, so she could hug her. “I’m okay Heidi just my tummy being mean again” she chuckled, hugging her close. They stayed curled up until Heidi’s tears subsided, settling on watching SpongeBob reruns until the others woke up. Each girl joining the cuddle pile as the descended. Gigi choosing to rest her head on Crystal’s shoulder, whispering stupid secrets as they giggled. Her tummy ache seemed to disappear the second Gigi joined her, the ginger ale helping a lot too. She felt brighter, happier, curled up with her friends, she was super brave and nobody made fun of her pillow not even once.  
  
Any worries Crystal had about the day ebbed away as they stepped into build-a-bear each girl creating a new friend. Crystal took the longest selecting a bear, choosing the cheapest plain brown skin, stuffing it modestly and adding her heart. She watched the others dress their bears, Gigi picking a princess dress while Heidi debated between a cute disco look or a pretty snow dress for her rabbit. Crystal looked through the racks, spotting a cute blue suit, pressed with a little flower. She checked the price and checked her little purse refusing to late Kate pay for more than the bear. She had enough and even paired her bears outfit with some matching high heels. The redhead ran over to her friends showing off her creation. Gigi’s mother stood by watching the girls laugh and play snapping photos, she could hardly believe how sweet they looked. Especially her Gigi with her arms wrapped around Crystal’s shoulders an ear splitting grin spreading across her cheeks. At the naming station Gigi suggested their bears have matching names, listing off her ideas. Crystal shook her head “Gigi my bear is a girl too, what about Daphne and Velma?” she suggested, Gigi nodding eagerly, placing her Daphne under her arm. Crystal smiled holding Gigi’s hand as they waited for check out. For the rest of the trip, Gigi refused to let her hand go, not even on the car ride back. They gazed at each other whispering and giggling. Jan and Jackie would be there to take her away in less than an hour, but Crystal could happily spend her whole life with her hand between Gigi’s fingers.  
  
………  
  
The walk back home was cold, Jan having brought Crystal a spare jacket, wrapping it round her shoulders as she said goodbye to her friends. Jackie had been speechless for most of the walk, staring down at the girl’s softly styled hair, she looked so grown up. The brunette was conflicted, she looked so happy and so confident walking beside Jan rambling on about her day but she wondered if this could be the turning point. That Crystal’s attention would shift away from the fun things she liked to do to boys and makeup, she wasn’t ready to deal with a toddler going on teenager just yet. A small hand tugging on her coat snapped her back out of her thoughts, the red head making grabby hands “mommy please, my legs hurt.” She whimpered, pulling her best puppy dog face. Jackie scooped her up happily holding her close. “Love you baby” she cooed, running her fingers through the girls soft tresses. “I love you too mommy” Crystal sighed, happily resting her head on Jackie’s shoulder. Jackie hummed, smiling knowingly at Jan, she pulled the blonde close pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. chuckling as they turned the corner onto the quiet street, the sun shining down on the icy road below them. Sure, the girl in her arms may look a little grown up but she was still the same whiny gremlin they’d left at Gigi’s house the day before. In all honestly, Jackie thought, she wouldn’t want it any other way.


	21. 7pm is the perfect time for an internal fight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie has trouble relaxing at the best of times. the second she lets her guard down all hell brakes lose, when Crystal get's hurt her demons resurface. will she be able to forgive Nicky or will her demons consume her.  
> Jan and Jaida are stuck in the middle and Crystal, well Crystal just wants a nap and some glitter.  
> Trigger warning: mild reference to past abuse.
> 
> Next Chapter: "Mommy, I think I'm a lesbian." Crystal comes to terms with what being part of an LGBTQ+ might mean for her the good bits and the sad bits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, hope you enjoyed the chapter. I have three chapters let planned for this fic. I might open a request page after the story and continue little one shots in this universe from time to time. Its definitely something I want to come back to!  
> Anyway thank you for the kudos and comments! Stay safe, healthy and hydrated.  
> see you in the next one!

Relaxation had always been a difficult concept for Jackie to grasp. She’d grown up only knowing hard word and efficiency leaving her little time to practise self care. It didn’t help that her relaxing looked different from her friends either; she hated bubble baths, spa days and face masks. Much preferring to curl up in front of the tv and watch a classic movie or murder mystery show. Books were her main form of relaxation. Books, fluffy blankets and a warm pair of arms wrapped round her waist, preferably Jan’s or Crystals. So when Pepper told her about the relaxing girls trip she’d planned for the weekend Jackie grew anxious. She paced around the room, rambling to Jan about how much she couldn’t stand the idea. “what if it’s a spa? I can’t sit in my own dirty mud water for an hour and pretend to be happy Jannie.” She huffed, the blonde opening her arms for her wife to snuggle in “Babe it won’t be a spa. Do you really think Pepper would invite Crys and Widow to a spa? We both know Widow would dare Crys to eat a facial and she’d do it.” She chuckled, Jackie humming against her shoulder, trying to contain a snort laugh. “I guess you’re right there beautiful” she said, pulling the blonde closer, breathing in the scent of her vanilla shower gel. “Jackie, trust me?” she asked, staring up into the brunette’s deep brown eyes. “Always” she whispered. A sigh escaping her lips as the blonde ran her fingers over her shoulder’s working out the knots. “If it’s really bad, we can curl up on the couch and watch that Hitchcock movie you wanted to see.” Jackie gasped slapping her ass playfully “its called Rebecca and you’ll love it, its got lesbians.” Jan giggled, throwing herself against the taller woman, placing kisses on her cheeks “you know I love lesbians.” Jackie felt herself relax, happily holding the blonde enjoying their quiet morning moment, in the cool spring air. 

Packing was the easy part, getting the girls out of the door was when things became difficult. Jan leaned on the counter, brewing coffee, hoping to coax Jackie out of their room. Crystal laid on the couch half asleep, shoving toast into her mouth. Beauty and the beast played on the tv, but she was too sleepy to pay attention. Jan sat beside her giggling as the redhead crawled into her lap, elbowing her in the stomach in the process. “ouch birdy morning arms, still sleepy?” Crystal nodded, resting her head on Jan’s shoulder trying to get a few more minutes sleep. Jackie wandered into the kitchen dragging her feet behind her, pouring herself a coffee. She wandered over to the couch, leaning into her wife. “Babies, you’re not going to like this, but we need to leave in half an hour.” She tried, encouraging Crystal to drink her juice. “Mama, can I wear my leopard shorts?” she pleaded, batting her eyelids. “yes birdy, but you’ve gotta bring spares in case you get dirty.” The girl nodded, running to her room to get dressed. Jan turned her attention to the brunette, laying half asleep in her arms. She smiled, moving the dark ringlets from her face, “gorge you gotta get dressed too.” Jackie whined, kissing Jan’s shoulder “no, I’m relaxing like you told me to.” Jan giggled, kissing her forehead “just go with the flow this weekend Jacks and you’ll be fine.”

…………………

Just go with the flow became a mantra for Jackie over the following days. She repeated it in her mind whenever anything was suggested, often ending up nodding along and joining in despite her initial reservations. Pepper had booked an Airbnb up near Inwood Lake Park, planning hikes, trails and a party by the river. Jackie loved the hiking, hanging around by the Hudson and sightseeing in the lesser seen areas. She’d never visited the park before, surprised when Jan dragged her away to some of her favourite spots. The couple settling down by the river for a make out session every now and again. She felt like a teenager, giddily sneaking off from her family to enjoy a moment alone. She felt like she could finally unwind, walking up the trails in the warm fresh air with her favourite people. She adored how quickly Crystal and Widow got into the spirit running ahead to find a new flower or bug to ask the others about. Rafting and Kayaking were fun, Jan nearly falling out of the boat, screaming every time. Jackie tried ziplining for the first time, the thrill of her body flying through the air was exhilarating. She’d even managed to convince Crystal to face her fears and take the leap. She’d even managed to put up with a soccer game, surprising herself by joining in and actually scoring. Their weekend away had been perfect, their adult conversations in the evenings were just as fun. Wine flowing, games of beer pong and dancing into the early hours of the morning. They took it in turns as to who would take care of the children. Jan sat curled up with the girl’s upstairs while Jackie got to hang out with their friends. They’d swap the next night, she promised but for now Jackie got to enjoy herself 

She found herself sat under a tree with both girls on her lap and Pepper by her side, the four talking about the creepy story Jaida had told them. “Mommy are ghosts real? Mama said they were, but Auntie Nicky said they’re not.” Crystal asked, her eyes gleaming in excitement. “Nu-uh Auntie said that ghosts aren’t real right Auntie?” Widow exclaimed crossing her arms in triumph when Pepper nodded. “Well girls, ghosts are one of those things some people think they can see them, and some people don’t. Mama see’s ghosts sometimes, she talks to your grandpa baby. Maybe their real maybe they aren’t but I think ghosts are real.” She said, ruffling Crystal’s hair, smiling down at her. “Ghosts ARE real Widow! Mommy is always right… well not always but almost always.” Crystal whooped, Jackie and Pepper both laughing at the girl’s antics. “Cryssy baby your mommy is almost never right she just thinks she is.” Pepper cooed, going into her bag to get them both some fruit snacks. “Thanks Auntie!” Widow yelled dragging Crystal off to play. Pepper clapped her hands down on Jackie’s shoulder, drawing her into animated conversation. She felt her heart swell, her mind usually on edge finally quietening. She felt happy, relaxed, she was going with the flow.

……………….

Sunday morning rolled round much faster than the brunette would have wanted. She woke to a kick in her side. She grimaced, removing Crystal’s foot from where it sat lodged into her hip. She grumbled rolling over hoping to catch a few more minutes but the music from downstairs prevented her. She sat up putting on her glasses, surprised to find her wife still in bed. Jan sat up reading in the soft day light, blocked from the curtains “Jan, I’m not paying for a second round of Lasik if you fuck your eyes up beautiful.” She purred, leaning in to kiss her good morning. “Morning to you too angel” she said, wrapping her arms lazily around Jackie’s midriff dragging her back down against the mattress. “Do we wake birdy or let her sleep.” Jackie pondered aloud, wishing they could get closer to each other, but their sweet little gremlin had sprawled herself out across most of the bed. “Leave her we can sit by the window if you wanna cuddle, or we could step out onto the balcony for other things.” The brunette raised an eyebrow following her out onto the balcony, she pressed her against the wall, leaning in to kiss her. A loud whistle and bray of laughter pulled them from the moment, over on the opposite balcony Bob and Monet sat drinking coffee smirking with glee as they made kissy faces. Jackie thought she’d burst in to flames if it weren’t for Jan. Her shameless sweet Jan. Who leaned over the railing to start a conversation to save her from her own embarrassment. 

Bob gave her a knowing look, almost challenging her, but Jackie couldn’t deny it. At the ripe old age of thirty-three she’d entirely gone soft.  
The morning was chaotic, voices filled every corner of the house as the women scrambled to get packed and cook. Jackie was watching the girl’s play anxiously bouncing her leg. Wondering if Jan would be okay balancing packing and cleaning at the same time. A soft hand falling on her shoulder made her jump, she whipped her head round to find Nicky smiling down at her. “Hey mama, go take a break Ill watch them for a bit. The girls can help out in the kitchen.” Jackie hesitated, looking into the steel grey eyes before her, “I don’t know Nick, their a handful when they’re together.” Nicky swatted her, a pout playing on her lips “I can watch my nieces for ten minutes no problem. They’ll be fine with me, go take a break.” Jackie sighed, hugging her gratefully “Thanks babe, you have no idea how much I need this.” Nicky held her tightly smiling sweetly back “its what friends do Cherie, now go take that break before I change my mind.” The brunette turned towards the stairs, craning her neck to see Nicky leading the girls by the hand towards the kitchen. Finding a quiet couch in the hallway, she curled up under one of the blankets, cracking open her book where she had left off. She sank back into her mystery world grateful for a moment’s peace, an air of calm washing over her as her mind drifted back into the story.

An ear-piercing scream filled Jackie’s ears, she rushed forward pushing through the crowd of her friends to find Crystal laying on the floor gripping at her arms. Nicky sat beside her trying to comfort her; but the girl continued to scream. “What the fuck Nicky? You had her for ten minutes, what the fuck happened?” She barked, carefully lifting the kid up into her arms careful not to disturb her. She gently pried the girl’s hand away from her arm, anger and hurt creeping over her face when she saw it. Crystal’s arm was doused in water, the pan from the stove laying on the floor beside her. Red angry burns covered her once perfect skin. Jackie felt the panic rise in her chest but pushed it back down, holding Crystal closer. “Baby deep breaths for mommy, we’re going to see the doctor, okay? I know it hurts sweetie, but you must be brave for me. Can you do that?” she comforted rocking the little girl back and forth pushing concerned friends out of the way. Nicky tried to talk to her, but Jackie whirled round with a glare “not now Nicky, you’ve done enough” she growled. She turned her back on the guilty blonde, missing the tears springing to the Parisian’s eyes as Bri tried to comfort her. She made her way upstairs yelling, “Janice get your things we have to go now.” Jan poked her head out from the bedroom where she was sitting with Jaida, horrified at the noises coming from Crystal. “What the fuck happened? Oh my god is she okay?” Jaida cried, Jackie nodding apprehensively “I think she’ll be alright, but we have to go, now.” Jan came back with her purse in hand “I’ll sort the rest girls, go make sure my favourite little niece isn’t broken please.” Jaida said, softly squeezing Jan’s shoulder. The blonde muttering a quick thank you as she ran. She stood in the doorway watching them leave with a conflicted look on her face. Nicky snaked her arms round her waist, surprising the girl, but the tears streaming down the Parisian’s face scared her even more. “Jai… I think I fucked up” she whispered, the older woman bringing her in for a hug, wincing at the screeching sound of the car pulling away.  
Jackie raced to the car; thankful she had chosen to drive. Jan settling in the back besides Crystal placing a cool towel on her arm and whispering comforting words in her ears. “Cryssy baby, you’re so brave, so so brave keep your arm nice and still for mama please?” The girl nodded through her tears, screams dying down into painful wailing. Jackie offered comfort from the front seat feeling helpless as she drove. She wished she would have been there with her, wishing she too was in the back beside her daughter, wishing on any star in the sky that Crystal would be okay. She raced to the ER, slamming down on the breaks as the took the girl inside. The doctors visit with quick fortunately but torturous, Crystal’s cries filling the room as the doctor worked. Nothing seemed to console her even her favourite candy on the way out wouldn’t stop her tears. Jan managed to calm her down, singing Disney songs in the back seat as she clipped her seatbelt in. The blonde sat beside Jackie in the front, holding her hand, shooting her a comforting look. They were all hurting, Jan was confused, Crystal in pain and Jackie felt that familiar guilt eating her alive.

Crystal’s sniffles the only sound that filled the car on the drive home, luckily her burn wasn’t too bad, but it would leave a nasty scar. A permanent reminder to all of them of Crystal’s pain. Jackie however, thought of it as a permanent reminder of her mistake. Something that wracked her with guilt and anger. “Mommy? I-I’m sorry I scared you.” The little voice whispered, Jackie quickly unbuckling her from her car seat and pulling her tightly into a hug. “No baby, its not your fault, mommy just gets scared when you get hurt. I’m sorry I scared you sweetheart, how is your arm feeling?” The redhead lifter her arm so her mother could see wincing slightly as she moved. She carried her inside, careful not to touch her arm. “hurts, mommy its really really painful.” She sniffled, burying her head into Jackie’s shoulder. “Would ice cream help a little baby? And maybe taco bell and a movie?” Crystal nodded, staring up at her through bleary eyes “can we watch the muppets?” Jackie groaned internally; she hated that movie with her entire existence but nodded humming softly in affirmation. Anything to put a smile back on her daughter’s face. She lead her into the apartment, turning off her phone in an attempt to avoid the influx of concerned texts from her friends.

………………….

The week since her accident had been hard for Crystal, she’d taken a couple of days of school. She spent most of those days laid in bed or on the couch drawing with her good hand, thankful that the water had landed on her left side. She spent more time with Jan, joining in on her singing lessons, eating cookies and cuddling up to her mama at any chance she got. Delighted at the extra attention she received. Jaida and Nicky would face time her every day, Nicky spluttering apologies to the girl as they talked. Crystal was confused, it was the water that hurt her not her auntie. But she made sure to tell her it was okay, and that she missed her. Smiling brightly knowing she’d made her auntie’s day a little better. Even Tic-Tac had been less mean, the cat curling up in her bed every night almost to check that she would be okay when she slept. At school Gigi had signed her bandages, Heidi drew pretty hearts and Rock drew a very crude Pikachu. Crystal thought it looked like a foot, but she liked it. Widow was more protective than ever, snapping at anyone who got too close to her left side. The redhead thanking her and calming her down when she got upset. “I just hate seeing any of you guys get hurt, and like you’re my best friend I hate seeing you get hurt the most.” The shorter girl wrapped her good arm around her friend “Widow its okay, it doesn’t hurt much anymore I get my bandages off this weekend too. I’m all good I promise. Can we play dragons now?” The older girl smiled, pushing her lightly making dragon noises, squealing as the girl ran. Everything was good again for Crystal, everything that was except her mommy.

Jackie had been off since the accident, unable to forgive either herself or Nicky. She refused all contact with the Parisian, ignoring text messages from both her and Jaida. In all honesty, she wasn’t sure how to respond. She was mad at Nicky, mad at herself, all the apologising in the world wouldn’t fox the scar on her baby’s arm. She blamed herself and she felt horrible, but she couldn’t ignore Nicky’s part in it. How the fuck could she have been so careless? Leaving a six-year-old alone with scalding hot water. She sat up in her chair, rubbing her temples. She checked through Crystal’s school work while the girl sat on the floor playing with her barbies. Her eyes fixating on the neon pink bandages wrapped round her forearm. “Cryssy birdy, have you finished all your homework?” she cooed, chuckling as the girl scooted towards her nodding. “I did it all mommy, can we play now?” she asked, grinning as the taller woman got down on her knees taking a barbie from her daughters’ hand. “What are we playing baby?” she questioned softly, letting Crystal explain her game. She listened attentively, oohing and ahhing at the girl’s story; she was always amazed at what her daughter’s mind would come up with. However, she faltered the smile falling from her lips. Her keen ears picking up on the redhead’s hesitation. “And then the fi-fire people are gonna help Betty save the kitty!” Jackie patted her lap, pulling her into a tight hug as she crawled in. She picked her up placing her on her shoulders, Crystal’s surprised squeal quickly turning to whooping and cheering as her mother yelled “Let’s save the kitty baby.” They played for hours, Crystal seeming to be back to her usual happy go lucky self, but Jackie’s mind was preoccupied. Of all the possible ways she could have gotten hurt, why did it have to be a burn, she thought. She tried her hardest to focus, but memories of Crystal’s first few months with them flashing into the forefront of her mind.

………..

She recalled how cooking had been a near impossible task if Crystal was in the room. The small girl loved to be with her mother’s grabbing onto her mama’s leg, helping her find the ingredients she needed from the lower shelves. Jackie watched them from her usual spot on the couch, usually filming them for her story or sending the videos off to their friends. All would be well and good until Jan needed to use the oven. The clicking sound put the girl on edge, but the second she saw fire she would burst into tears, wailing, demanding to be held. Jackie would take her, holding her tightly as the small girl cried in her arms burying her head into her chest as she sobbed. “Mommy ‘m scared, the fi..fir…its gonna get me…” she wailed, resulting in Jackie taking her outside and whispering words of comfort until Jan called them in for food. Crystals nightmares always involved heat, flames and burning. She’d wake in the middle of the night screaming in terror about the fires. Jan would take her into the bathroom holding her close, often ending up asleep in the bathtub with the redhead on her chest. 

Jackie’s first night dealing with a nightmare had taught her why, as she held the girl close, Jan would tell her to rub her arms. Jackie never pried, but one night while sat in the bathtub Crystal herself provided the answers. “Mommy… in-in my dreams the m-monster.. he put his fire sticks on my arms… and it was so owwie it woke me up.” She stammered, Jackie’s psychoanalytical mind whirring at full capacity, hoping the dreams didn’t suggest what she thought it did. She tilted the child’s face upwards, wiping her tears, leaning in to whisper “baby, there are no monsters here right now. Crystal look at me baby. There are no big bad monsters coming for you that me and mama can’t beat up I promise.” The redhead sniffled, wrapping her tiny fingers around Jackie’s hand, “e-even the fire monsters?” Jackie hummed, putting her fists up and boxing with the air. The girl rolling around on her lap giggling, cheering her on made her mild embarrassment worth it. “Especially those pesky fire monsters. We’ll beat them up, nobody hurts our Cryssy.” The night marked the first of many spent in the bathtub, coaxing Crystal out of her shell, her fears slowly ebbing away. The first time Crystal helped them put cookies into the oven, she cried. No matter how much she’d grown, no matter how strong she got sometimes Jackie’s mind would drift back to the tiny creature in the bathtub. The image swirling around her brain and dragging her under.

………

She was brought out of her thoughts by a mildly irritated Crystal flopping down onto her lap, Tic-Tac in hand. “Mommy, mama’s home and you didn’t even say hi!” she teased, flicking her forehead, running off to the kitchen as fast as her legs could carry her. The brunette pulled herself from the floor, the blonde standing right in front of her, arms on her hips. “Damn Jackie I know I’m cute but your brain really short circuited huh?” The brunette chuckled, bringing her in for a kiss. They pulled apart trying not to laugh as a loud “Ewww!” came from behind them. Crystal stood with her arms folded pointing “spit swapping!” Jan wheezed, swatting her gently with a pillow “someone has been talking to auntie Jaida, a bit too much I think.” Jackie brushed the comment off, the family settling into their usual night-time routine. Jackie sat at the kitchen island, testing Crystal on her spelling while Jan cooked. The kid eagerly running off to play the second Jackie allowed her. Jan leaned against the island, speaking in her usual high-pitched worried tone “So I talked to Nicky today babe..” Jackie clammed up, “Jan please, I don’t wanna have this conversation right now.” Jan sighed sitting down beside her “then lets not talk about her, tell me how you’re feeling?” A weight seemed to lift from her shoulder as she spoke, once she started speaking it seemed she could not stop. She laid out her thoughts, her worried and her insecurities, Jan’s gentle eyes guiding her through the darkness. 

The soft squeeze of her hand grounded her, brown eyes met blue as Jan broke the comfortable silence. “Gorge it wasn’t your fault. You hear me it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Cryssy is doing just great we even made cookies yesterday. She’ll bounce back in no time. You know birdy she’ll be showing her scar off in no time.” The brunette sighed, leaning into her touch “If only Nicky were watching her properly, I left her alone for five minutes, she fucking promised nothing would happen Janice.” The shorter woman rubbed soft circles on her wife’s back, tentatively replying “accidents happen babe, it could have happened with me. it could have happened with Pepper; the pot fell it’s not like she put her hand in the oven. It sucks and she shouldn’t have promised you that, but accidents happen.” “Jackie… gorge please, Nicky made a mistake but she’s sorry please don’t do this.” Jan begged, holding her wife’s hand. “Janice I can’t believe you’d side with her on this she hurt our daughter and..” Jan leaned in the doorway shooting her a pointed look “I’m not siding with anyone babe.” Nicky didn’t hurt anyone it was an accident. My dad split my lip with a shovel once but I still love him. Cryssy misses them like crazy gorge. She said she’s sorry, she even offered to pay for the fucking medical bills. An accident isn’t worth ending a five-year friendship over Jackie. At least not to me. I get you’re angry, but you need to at least talk to her hear her out.” She said, calmly approaching the bed, slotting herself between the brunette’s waiting arms. “I’ll hear her out but no guarantees we’ll be best friends after this Jan.” The blonde leaned in to kiss her jaw, calm spreading over the brunette’s body as her hands traced patterns over her shoulders. “That’s all I’ll ever ask for babe, thanks for listening Jacqueline. I love you.” She purred, the older woman kissing her cheek mumbling “I love you too” in return. Jackie hardly slept that night playing the scenarios over and over in her head. She laid her head down on Jan’s chest, finding comfort in the rhythmic breathing, finally letting her eyes drift closed. 

………………

They met up for coffee the next day, much to Crystal’s annoyance. The girl was half asleep curling up on her chair grumbling, only opening her eyes when Jan asked her what she wanted to drink. Jackie smiled endearingly, ruffling her curls careful not to knock them out of their ponytail or she’d face Jan’s wrath. When Jaida and Nicky entered the store she felt awkward, greeting Jaida warmly and offering Nicky a cordial hello. Crystal whined, reaching her arms out for the blonde immediately as she heard the voice. “Auntie its to early mommy won’t let me have coffee she’s being mean.” She fell into the hug dramatically, the three adult’s chuckling labelling her a drama queen. “Baby mommy might kill me but if we go catch your mama now maybe we can get you an iced coffee or something” Jaida cooed turning her head to mouth “I’ll get her a cooler” to Jackie with a wink. The pair bolted from their seats running to greet the blonde in the queue leaving Jackie and Nicky alone at the table. “Jackie…I’m so sorry it slipped I didn’t even see the pan. I feel so guilty. I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for her to get hurt I should have..” she rambled, Jackie cutting her off with a raise of her hand. “Nicky relax, I know you didn’t mean it. I guess, I just didn’t want to admit it. I felt like I messed up, you felt like you messed up and I don’t want to deal with the emotions.” Nicky nodded, holding Jackie’s hand across the table “You’re a brilliant mother you know that right? You did everything right and look at her she’s doing so good. You’d never guess she was the same little kid screaming her head off a few days ago.” 

Jackie smiled a wash of relief coming over her, Nicky was right, she messed up, but she fixed it quickly, she did everything right. She wasn’t a fuck up, she hadn’t ruined Crystal. She sheepishly closed her hands around Nicky’s “I’m sorry I blamed you Nick it was unfair.” Nicky shrugged it off, hugging her tightly, Jackie felt the tremble in her voice and rubbed her back as the Parisian spoke. “Its okay Jacks, I just don’t want to lose you. We’re still friends, right?” Jackie hummed, wiping a stray tear, saving Nicky’s makeup in the process. “Oh yeah you’d have to do a lot worse to get rid of me.” She chuckled. They sat catching up for ten minutes, Jackie ridiculing herself for even considering getting rid of her friend. The other girls came back, settling into an easy conversation. Jaida feeding Nicky little cakes, cuddling up to her as they spoke. Jan and Jackie curled up to each other the friends animatedly discussing their plans for the day. When Crystal had woken up enough to join it she started showing off her scar calling it her “battle wound,” much to Jaida’s amusement. An aura of ease surrounded the group, from the outside looking in everything seemed perfect. And from the inside, the scars and marks were beginning to fade, healing over. Jackie sighed, leaning into Jan’s touch, maybe, just maybe relaxing with her friends wasn’t that bad after all


	22. At 4pm we take to the streets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystal learns what it means to be LGBTQ+, the goode bits, the sad bits and the down right ugly bits.  
> Trigger warning mild homophobia and bullying.
> 
> Next chapter: Crystal's feeling down on herself. Jackie tries her best to make her feel better bbut struggles with her own self doubt. Jan wins parent of the year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! thanks for all the kudos and support!  
> I'll update this soon, with the next chapter!  
> Just two chapters left for this fic now.  
> Stay safe, healthy and hydrated see you in the next one!

Crystal had always known she was different. She knew she was adopted, and she knew most people had a mom and a dad. But she had started to feel like it was something else. Since Widow’s birthday party, her friends had begun to talk about boys. Singers, Youtubers and actors, they thought were cute or handsome. Whenever they talked about their futures Heidi would plan her wedding to the green power ranger and Rock would plan hers to Finn the Human. But Crystal always felt weird, she did think boys were pretty, Harry Styles was beautiful to her, but she would never want to marry him. Instead she wanted to marry Gigi, but she’d never ever tell anyone that, so she’d say she didn’t like anyone. Or she’d talk about how much she liked Poppy. She’d sit down and think about it sometimes, not understanding why she felt so different. Her parents liked girls and her aunties liked girls, so why did it have to be a big deal? Did she even like girls or was she just broken? She stared at herself in the mirror, sitting at her mama’s dressing table. She looked at every little freckle, mark and scar on her face. From the tiny scar running through her eyebrow that she didn’t remember getting to the most prominent freckle on her face Heidi had named Bertha. She huffed, scrubbing her face with her hands and smiling. Her face was the same as before but somehow, she just felt different.

The redhead left her parents room in search of Tic-Tac hoping her favourite little friend hadn’t got into her glitter again. She ran down the hallway head down when crashed into something soft, yelping and falling backward. “Woah Birdy, you gotta watch where you’re going are you okay sweetie?” Jan said, turning to help the girl up. Crystal sat dazed for a second, grabbing her mama’s hand as she heaved herself up. She stared for a moment, looking up at her. To Crystal, her mother was the most confident woman on the planet. Her smile was always the brightest, her eyes were the kindest and her energy was infectious. She wondered if Jan ever felt self-conscious. Jan knelt in front of her, a knowing look on her face. She placed the laundry basket on the floor beside them, taking a deep breath. “Baby, are you okay? Did you hurt yourself when you fell, or do you want to have a balcony talk?” The redhead gulped, looking up into the kind eyes she relaxed, deep down she knew her mother would never judge her and always answer honestly but she was still scared. “Balcony talk please mama” she murmured, smiling as Jan got to her feet. “Okay Cryssy mama’s phone is on the table; you can order us something to eat but don’t go crazy baby. Forty dollars absolute max okay? and yes that includes desserts” she said with a soft laugh. Walking to her room to quickly sort the laundry.

…………….

Balcony talks were some of Crystal’s favourite memories. In her short time with her parents she’d come to love her one on one moments with both of them. Jackie and Crystal had their book corner sessions, reading, watching nerdy things and having their heart to hearts. She almost always ended up getting emotional and sleeping in Jackie’s warm embrace. She cherished all of her memories there, even hanging up a cute photo Jan had sneaked of the pair in her room. But balcony talks were different. Jan would always let her order something yummy, they’d sit in the sun or the rain and watch the world go by until Crystal was ready to talk. It was an unwritten rule that balcony talks were strictly reserved for Crystal and her needs and in those moments nothing else in the world mattered. They sat under the warm summer sun, eating pizza and gazing down at the hustle and bustle of the streets below. Crystal swinging her legs against the newly installed glass panels. The redhead turned herself to face Jan, scanning her mother’s face trying to build up the courage to speak. “Mama? How did you know you liked girls?” she asked, screwing her eyes shut. She did not dare open them until she felt a warm hand cup her face. She opened one eye, finding her mother’s thumb rubbing comforting circles on her cheek as she smiled. Crystal seized the moment to climb into her lap, snuggling up into her favourite position. She secretly knew she might be a little too big but until her mama told her otherwise, she wasn’t going to stop.

“Well baby” she started, her soft voice lilting as it was carried on the breeze. “Mama kind of always knew. When I was really little I never wanted to look at boys because I thought they were gross and smelly. Hey don’t laugh!” she chuckled, tickling the girl quickly. Any tension easing as they teased each other, only giving up after Crystal had managed to poke Jan’s rib cage enough to make her yelp. “But when I was about your age, maybe a little older I found Jojo. She’s a singer angel, and I thought she was the prettiest. Then as I grew up I realised, I only found girls pretty, sure boys looked pretty but girls were really pretty. You know? Like I never ever wanted to kiss a boy but I sure wanted to kiss a girl. I told grandma when I went to middle school and she laughed at me because she already knew. Grandpa was a little shocked, but he loved me no matter what. And do you know what sweetie? I was so happy after I told them because I could just be me.” Crystal was gripped, listening to every word. She felt like she’d been punched in the tummy, gripping onto it instinctively, but as the words sunk in she started to relax. Cuddling tighter into her mother’s embrace. “Baby, there’s no pressure at all you’re only little but have you maybe been thinking about girls?” she asked tentatively. The last thing she wanted to do was put pressure on a seven-year-old, even if in her heart of hearts she suspected as such. “Uh-uh. Everyone keeps talking about dumb smelly boys and that they wanna kiss them. But I don’t wanna kiss them mama. I don’t wanna touch them. I wanna kiss Poppy. I wanna kiss Gigi.” She whined tears falling from her eyes.

She felt frustrated, like a giant weight had lifted off her chest, each word knocking a pebble off of the heavy pile. “Shh baby, its okay cry all you want, let it all out. Mama’s got you.” The blonde cooed, cradling the kid in her arms. She held her tightly as she wept, like a precious vase about to break. “Mama, I don’t get it. I don’t get it! I-I just wanna be like everyone else.” She whined, gasping slightly as the arms around her tightened. “Crystal Elizabeth Methyd Cox. You listen to me right now. You might feel different and that’s okay baby. But you are no different from any strai- girl who likes boys okay? Its okay to be different. Its okay to like girls. In fact its really great to like girls. Lesbian’s are the best I would know.” She chuckled, smiling as the girl in her arms seemed to calm. Her signature Crystal grin spreading across her cheeks. She opened her mouth to speak, but her voice came out quietly as she proudly said “Mama, I think I’m gay.” Jan placed her hand on her back, proudly smiling down at her daughter “Crystal sweetheart, welcome to the club baby. If you’re gay, straight, bi or anything else on the spectrum mama’s gonna love you just the same forever and ever okay?” “Okay” she said, biting into a slice of pizza as they relaxed. The world seeming much brighter, almost rose tinted, as the sun began to set.

…………

Weeks had passed since her talk with her mama and she felt guilty. She made her promise not to tell Jackie, no matter what. Hiding her newly discovered secret from her mommy made her feel guilty, but she wanted to talk to her all by herself. She knew Jackie wasn’t as confident in herself and she knew her mother would have trouble finding the right words to say. So she kept it quiet, preferring to talk to her mama about it when they were alone. She planned how she would talk to her over and over again in her head, until her brain felt like it would melt. But no matter how much she planned it she’d always chicken out at the last minute. That was until things got rough. 

They were walking home from school together through the park, her hand in her mom’s when she heard an older man yelling. As they walked past, his voice got louder and louder filling her ears. The words burnt, he stood on a soap box, signs next to him with angry hurtful words sprayed across them. She’d heard them before but never really understood what they meant except they were bad. That was until his finger extended landing on Jackie as he screamed “dykes like this one burn in hell. Its unnatural for a woman like that to exist, and she even has a child, the poor thing will be corrupted with sin.” Crystal didn’t listen to the rest, she covered her ears, matching Jackie’s speedy pace as they left the area. They settled on a bench Crystal in tears as Jackie pulled her up onto her knee holding her close as she cried. “I’m so sorry birdy. I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have to hear those words. Nothing that man said is true not at all. None of it.” She whispered, rubbing her back as the redhead calmed herself. “Mommy… why did he say those mean things? I wanna go kick him! He can’t say stuff like that its not fair” she cried, her fists balled angrily by her side. Jackie held her closer, tilting her face up to look at her. “Baby, I’m really sorry sweetheart. But mommy’s gonna tell you something and it might hurt but you need to hear it. Sometimes life isn’t fair. People are mean, they’re nasty and they’re rude because you are different. Some people are mean to others because of the colour of their skin, some people are mean to others because of who they love, and some people are mean to others because of their gender. And its really sad, but there will always be people like that sweetheart. So we have to fight back and use our voices to tell the world they are wrong.” She said, wiping the tears from her daughter’s cheeks.

Crystal sat in awe, thinking through her mother’s words as she nodded. “Mommy, you know you’re the smartest right?” she asked, her eyes filled with admiration. Crystal stared at Jackie, really taking her in. She’d always known Jackie was smart, she was smart and beautiful, but she was kind too. The soft smile lines etched into her face told her, no matter how hard she worried, she would always smile. She was brought back from her thoughts by Jackie’s soft laugh. “No baby, not the smartest just a lady trying to do her best. Even if she gets yelled at for a rainbow bag.” She chuckled, glad the redhead was taking things in her stride. “Your bag is the coolest. I want one too!” she squealed, resting her head on Jackie’s shoulder. “Darling maybe one day we’ll get you a cute rainbow bag. We can even take you out to pride now you’re a little bigger. Show the world you know what’s right, since your mama and I did such a good job raising you. Even if you are a little weird.” Crystal huffed, pushing her mother with a fake pout “that’s cause you’re weird too!” she giggled. The brunette smiled brightly laughing as all the sadness seemed to leave them. She held her for a moment, enjoying a tender minute with her favourite little human, when she felt Crystal shift, her shoulder’s seeming to tense against Jackie’s hand. “Mommy ... I gotta tell you something” she whispered, Jackie froze up, all the worst-case scenarios running through her head, as she calmly said, “you can tell me anything sweetheart.” Crystal gulped, staring her up into the deep brown eyes. “Mommy I think I’m a lesbian” she said, a little too loud as people turned their heads.  
Jackie visibly relaxed pulling her into the tightest hug she’d given, placing soft kisses on her forehead as she cried. “Oh Crystal, honey I’m so proud of you thank you for telling me. You know mommy’s gonna love you no matter what right? Welcome to the club baby Cox.” The girl grinned, holding tightly to Jackie’s hand as they stood, walking towards the park exit. Jackie even treated them to cupcakes on the way home, Crystal’s covered in rainbow sprinkles. They talked all the way home about Crystal’s day at school, her little confirmed crush on Gigi and her plan to make Tic-Tac a new glitter collar when they got back. Jackie joined in animatedly, her thoughts whirling in the back of her mind. She couldn’t have been prouder than she was in that moment. Sure, labels could change later but Crystal always had her support, she silently vowed in that moment to be the best parent a gay kid could ever want. She squeezed Crystal’s hand tightly as they ran the last few blocks. It had started raining and neither had brought anything to protect themselves against the cool water. They laughed in the doorway, waiting for the elevator. Jackie smiling brightly when they got inside, she’d set up Netflix, pick a movie and collect her thirty dollars from Jan. Wondering if the blonde would ever realise how horrible she was at betting.

………………….

It took months before Crystal had the courage to even think about telling her friends. Scared that they wouldn’t love her anymore. She didn’t think they were homophobic, not by a long shot. But Dahlia and Gigi were so popular, everyone loved them. If Crystal ended up being labelled as weird, she feared they wouldn’t want to hang out with her ever again. The only one who knew was Widow, the older girl swearing herself to secrecy. They’d hugged, turned back to their game and talked about her Aunt Pepper’s crush on her new friend Trinity for a while. Making kissy noises when she passed by. Her aunts loved her more than ever, Pepper giving her a long talk about what it meant to be LGBTQ+. She’d even told her about stonewall and the scary parts. Nicky and Jaida made her a promise they’d never let the world mess with her right then and there. Nicky had cried, holding her niece as she sobbed, praising her and kissing her forehead. Her auntie had always been honest that she couldn’t be herself when she was younger. And Nicky, was just proud Jackie and Jan had made an environment comfortable enough for Crystal to come to her own conclusions. Jaida had sat her down, telling her if things ever changed that was cool, and that her liking anyone or nobody at all was awesome. She’d even begun sketching outfit ideas for the girl’s first pride demanding Jackie bring her on their trip this year.

From her seat on top of the jungle gym she was lost in thought. Heidi sat beside her yelling boo and making her jump. They talked, Heidi’s fingers making their way into Crystal’s hair. She braided the curls, animatedly talking about the movie she’d be seeing with her dad later that night. The others joined them at the top, giggling and playing with each other’s hair until Miss West called their five minute warning. Crystal missed her, her knew teacher Miss Hytes was kind but she scared her a little. They climbed down lining up as they waited to go inside. Crystal was a good student, she always tried her best not to get in to trouble. But that didn’t mean the kids around her did. Some of the boys were yelling and screaming running around calling people names. As they got closer she heard what they were yelling and saw red. “You’re gay!” “Homo” “Ugly” “Fat” “Ew, Gay” flashed through her mind. She stood still her face contracting into an angry scowl. Her friends hadn’t seemed to notice, except Gigi who was about to ask when Crystal yelled “Hey! That’s not an insult, stop saying it like that!” through gritted teeth. The boys turned to her shocked, one stammering trying to recover his image, the entire class had their eyes on them “Yeah it is, what are you gonna do about it ugly?” he sneered. Crystal walked forward calmly, trying her best to stay composed. She remembered what her auntie had told her, anger doesn’t help. She stood before him, telling him “its not. Its not an insult.” “Yeah well you’re just gay AND ugly,” he yelled. Her classmates bursting into fits of laughter as she turned her heads. Some kids weren’t laughing, her friends weren’t but a lot of them were. She felt that awful churning in her stomach she’d felt so accustomed to, turning on her heel, she raised her palm to hit him and stopped. Her hand an inch away from his face. “No I’m not gonna do that. I’m not like you” she said quietly. Walking back to her position in line when the boy threw a punch, landing square in the centre of her back.

She saw red, panic raising in her throat as she kicked, she couldn’t think, she couldn’t see. She was scared, her mind had shut off, the only thing calming her down were Heidi’s cries of “Cryssy stop! You hurt her dummy! Cryssy!” Mrs Hytes angry voice carried across the playground scaring her more, she curled into herself, her breathing quickening as the sound of high heels clacking across the floor got deafeningly close. “What is going on back here? Michael are you bleeding? Crystal why are you on the floor? Heidi are you okay?” she asked, looking down at the kids before her. Two boys stood behind Michael lips quivering as they pointed at Crystal “she’s evil! She kicked him and went all psycho!” one yelled, the other nodding in affirmation. “No way” Gigi yelled, surprising the group. “They called Cryssy names!” Rock whined, “Thy hit her first right in the back” Gigi added. Heidi stared up at her teacher “She was just trying to get em to stop then he called her a mean name, she was gonna hit him but she didn’t cause Cryssy ain’t like that. But he hit her and now she’s gonna have a tummy ache.” Gigi and Rock patted Heidi on the back, they thought she did a great job of explaining but Miss Hytes looked lost. “Right well, lets all go inside. Michael and Crystal, I’ll be calling your parents in after school. Hopefully then we can get to the bottom of it.”

……………………

The rest of the day flew by, Crystal was completely out of it. Her friends tried to comfort her, she’d spent the entire period curled up between Gigi and Heidi, Rock playing bodyguard in front of them. She was shaky and she could not focus, her tummy was doing flips right up until the last bell sounded. She waited by the gate for her mama, tears in her eyes as her friends began to leave. Mrs Hytes watched them both quietly, surprised to see how scared the little girl looked. She couldn’t reward her in case she started it, but she’d never seen a child shake like that before. She hadn’t met the girls parents before but judging by her reaction perhaps that was or the best. Michael however was calm, happily hugging his father’s leg as the man greeted his teacher. He snapped his neck towards the redhead angrily yelling “I hope this little girl learns her place. She should be expelled for hitting my boy.” Brooke Lynn cut him off quickly “nobody is going to be expelled. I would appreciate you not talking to Crystal until her mother has arrived thank you. I will not have you yelling at a child like that in my presence.” Crystal was about to cry, she felt tears prick her eyes when she heard her mama’s voice. She ran bounding into both her mother’s arms as she cried. “Shh birdy, hey now its okay. Lets go talk to Miss Hytes then we’ll go home its okay. Jan did you bring her a snack? She looks like she’s gonna be sick.” 

Brooke Lynn smiled, watching as the brunette dried her eyes while the blonde stooped to carry her. The six of them walked inside, taking their tiny seats. Jackie had t try not to laugh as the man perched himself on a child sized seat. “Now I’m sure you know why you’re here. These two got into a fight at lunch. Both have bruises so we know they at least hit each other once. We have a few other kids’ testimonies but they don’t match up so I’d like to get to the bottom of it.” She said calmly. “I was playing, and she yelled at me. then she hit me and ran away so I hit her back! Then she went all weird and started kicking!” the boy wailed, fat crocodile tears slipping down his cheeks. His father angrily berated them, Brooke for not stepping in, Crystal for hitting and her parents for not raising her better. “Enough” Brooke warned, “sir one more outburst like that and I’ll ask you to leave.” She turned her head to the redhead “Now Crystal is that true?” she asked, her voice softening. “N-no. He was calling people names … and he was using gay like a bad word ... so I told him its not a bad word. But he kept doing it and he called me ugly, but that’s okay. But I got so mad he called me gay like a bad thing and I wanted to hit him. But I didn’t I stopped myself I was gonna hit his face but I stopped and turned away. Then something hit my back and I don’t remember the rest.” She said, tilting her head down in shame. Jackie rubbed her back, soothing her, anger spreading through her body. She placed her hand on the seething blonde’s knee and calmly spoke. “Miss Hytes, Crystal has anxiety as I’m sure you are aware. If she gets very scared, she’ll black out and lash out. Its something we’ve worked very hard with her on and this hasn’t happened in years.” Jan nodded, holding her daughter’s hand soothing her gently. “Well, I’d say both kids have to apologise for hitting but its very clear who started the fight. Sir I suggest you discipline your son properly for his blatant homophobia. Michael I’ll talk to you tomorrow, we’ll be having a very special lesson just you me and your friends. You aren’t in big trouble don’t worry we might even have candy if you’re good.” She said dismissing the boy and his father first. “Mrs Cox I’d really like if we could have a chat for a moment, both of you.” She said.  
When the boy and his father left, Brooke sighed with relief. “I’m so sorry you had to hear that I had no idea that’s what he was saying. I’m sorry to you too Crystal if they ever say mean things about your mommies again you come and tell me okay?” the redhead nodded smiling up at her teacher “But he didn’t say mean things about them, he said mean things about me” she replied. Brooke paused for a moment, surprised how honest the little girl had been. “Alright sweetie we don’t tolerate homophobia in my classroom okay?” she assured her. Jan smiled, ruffling Crystal’s hair as she got her to the door, waiting for the others to leave as she shot Brooke a shit eating grin. “Hey Brooke? Tell Vanessa I said hi” she chuckled, the taller blonde laughing as she flipped her off “So you are that Jan! I’ll tell her. Give Crystal some candy on me” she chuckled. Watching contently as the family left the room. Crystal smiled up at her mother, reaching for her hand. Maybe Miss Hytes wasn’t that scary after all.

The next day at recess the girls were sitting round talking about their crushes. Going around the circle each girl squealed about the boy they wanted to marry “I’m gonna wear the prettiest dress in the whole world and he’s gonna have my doggie give me my ring!” Heidi said triumphantly. Leaning her head back against the tree. “Your turn Cryssy” Gigi prompted, nudging the redhead. She took a deep breath, keeping her eyes on the ground “I’m gonna marry Poppy. She’s gonna wear the prettiest big pink floofy dress and I’m gonna have a blue glitter suit with lots of ribbons on it. Mommy’s gonna walk me down the isle and she’ll cry. You guys are gonna be my bridesmaids and it’ll be the best party ever” she said. Looking up at the four sets of eyes around her, waiting. She was so relived when the others smiled, adding their own ideas to her imaginary wedding. Nobody cared, nobody was mean. Her friends had her back and she finally felt at ease.

…………

June rolled around quicker than they’d expected. Jackie planning their annual pride trip down to a fine art. Nicky sat on her bed painting cute rainbows onto Jan’s cheeks while Jaida occupied the vanity, helping Crystal tie a large bow in her hair. She was always the first to be ready, leaning against the door careful not to smear body glitter over the frame as she watched. Jan was a vision in pink, the lesbian colours clashing beautifully with the rainbow pride bralette she’d sewn a few weeks before. Nicky was fashionable as ever, minimally adding bright colours to her look. Jaida was a vision in orange, pink, purple white and amber beads threaded onto her hair to complete the look. Then there was Crystal, for her first pride she’d begged Jaida to make her a pretty rainbow dress. Nicky surprised them further by customising her little matching heeled boots. “Oh so cute! Sheepie come climb on my lap so auntie can take a group photo” Nicky squealed. Beckoning the others over. Squished up on the bed they smiled, Jackie prompting Nicky to send her the photo later. 

Heading out into the streets was surreal for Crystal. Right colours filled every space, the loud music and screams of excitement filling the air. Her nerves for once had calmed, she was screaming and yelling along with them. Dancing next to her parents as she watched the parade. The bright colours, confetti glitter and cool outfits were dazzling. She squealed as the floats passed them, clutching onto Nicky’s shoulders careful to make sure she didn’t slip. She’d even joined in with the chants, her mama teaching her the songs and her mommy teaching her why each was said. They walked in the hot summer sun, Jackie carefully trying to avoid the big crowds to find a spot. The group finally settled down in Central Park, laying on the grass as they caught up with their friends. Pepper and her new friend Trinity joined them. Widow running into Crystal’s embrace the second she saw her. The girl’s giggled pointing up at the clouds and picking out the shapes. The redhead felt relaxed, wonderful. She knew she was different; she knew most people weren’t like her. But that was okay, in Crystal’s eyes, her life was perfect just the way it was.


	23. Breakdowns and Self-Doubt at 6am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystal discovers self-doubt and its horrible. Jackie tries her best to help but will her won self-doubt get the better of her?  
> AKA the one where Jan wins parent of the year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! One more chapter to go for the main story. I've really had fun writing this one and I'm glad so many of you like it. thanks once again for all the comments and Kudos. I'm really bad with words (Ironically) So sorry that I don't respond.   
> Stay safe, healthy and Hydrated!   
> See you in the next one

Crystal loved off season. Jan’s off season had come early this year, gigs being sparser and singing lessons taking place after work hours giving her more time to spend with Crystal. The redhead begged her mother to take her to the parks most days. Running off to play with her friends whenever they were around. She sat on top of the jungle gym with Widow, seeing who could throw a ball higher into the air. They giggled, throwing the ball until Widow launched it over towards the swing set. “I’ll get it!” Crystal yelled, throwing herself down the slide as she ran towards the ball. Passing a group of older boys, one of them scooping down to pick up the ball. She blinked, staring up at the older boy, smiling politely “Hi, that’s my ball can I have it back please?” She said, swinging on her heels. The boy glared shaking his head “No way ugly, finders keepers.” She felt her face fall as the boys laughed at her pointing and calling her names, the smile falling off her lips. “Aww is baby gonna cry. Ugly baby go away” he hissed. Crystal sighed, remembering her aunt’s words, “No I’m not going to cry. I want my ball back please. Its mine it has my name on it.” She placed her hands on her hips, looking over towards the adults, holding herself strongly. “Fine. Now go away girl.” He threw the ball leaving the redhead to chase after it. 

She ran up to meet Widow falling easily back into their game, but the words stuck in her head. Spinning on repeat. It wasn’t the first time she had been called ugly, but it hurt none the less. When they walked home, she gripped a little harder onto Jan’s hand, the blonde asking her what was wrong but she chose not to tell. “Mama please? I’m okay lets just go home please.” She begged, shooting a look to the older woman nodding softly. “Okay sweetheart, my big girl being all brave. Just remember mama’s here when you wanna talk okay?” She nodded smiling brightly up at her, she felt a little better already. “Yeah I’m a grown woman I got this!” she giggled, mimicking Trinity, her new favourite aunt to mimic. “Okay grown lady Crystal, got it gorge. But is my grown woman daughter too big for a piggyback?” Jan asked, cocking her eyebrow. “No! Never! Mama Piggyback please, I’m still light I promise!” she yelled, jumping up and down on the floor. “Of course birdy” she chuckled, kneeling down huffing as the girl climbed on. Pretending to run slowly before speeding up, leaving the girl on her back laughing wildly. “You know Crys, you might think you’re a grown up, but you’ll always be my baby” the blonde whispered. Crystal smiled happily, leaning onto her mother’s back, “I know mama I know.” They walked home happily, Crystal starting to feel better, her mind wandering off to her Mariokart party her mama had promised on the way back. She’d grown up a lot and words couldn’t hurt her anymore. 

She tried to convince herself words were just words, but she soon realised words hurt a whole lot. Crystal had gone to Gigi’s house for their bi-monthly sleepover. Rock was jumping on the bed giggling holding her plushie above her head. “Guys lets play a game!” she squealed, the other three yelling in agreement. “Lets play the ratings game!” Gigi giggled, the brunette had been obsessed with the idea since her mother had showed her “Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging,” the brunette immediately falling in love with the weird British movie. Heidi shook her head sceptically “I don’t know Geege, don’t that game hurt the girl in the movie?” Gigi sat thinking, hugging her pillow tightly. “Yeah but we’re super nice! We won’t upset each other, right?” she said, Heidi relenting snuggling down on her comforter beside Crystal. The game had started well enough, the answers were fun, silly and dumb. Until they moved onto looks, Crystal was fine at first answering fairly and kindly whenever she could. But the ratings started to take a turn when hers came back low. She knew the rules 10 was good and 1 was bad, her own scores being under 5 started to make her feel horrible. She knew they didn’t mean it or she hoped they didn’t. Heidi noticed Crystal’s shift, holding her hand under the comforter.

Fun questions like “Rate my loudness,” “How dumb am I”, “How cool am I” and “How good are my cartwheels” came back round. Crystal starting to giggle and join in smiling again, until Rock spoke up, Crystal’s heart falling into her stomach. “How pretty am I” she said, laying back on the bed. Gigi received all tens, Rock scored highly with 8’s and 10’s. Heidi got 10’s across the board as well, Crystal even leaning in to cuddle her and call her pretty. She bounced her knee hoping she too would get high scores, her smile spreading across her cheeks. “Ten duh!” Heidi said, cuddling up to the redhead. “I say an eight!” said Rock, smiling at her turning to Gigi, “Well I say three, you’ve got a pretty face, but your clothes can be really ugly sometimes.” She said deadpan, before giggling and yelling “Just kidding definitely a nine! It would be a ten, but you do have that muppet dress.” The three giggled, hugging Crystal, but quickly gasped as the redhead burst into tears. “Cryssy please don’t cry. I’m sorry that joke was so mean! I didn’t mean to upset you I’m sorry you’re so pretty” she babbled, a horrified look spreading across her face. The redhead tried to listen, but the word ugly circled around her brain, her stomach beginning to churn.

She stood up running to the toilet to lock herself in. Her sniffles attracting Kate from her spot on the couch, the older woman running over immediately. “Oh, Crystal honey what happened? Are you hurt darling?” she asked, leaning down to the girl. “N-no I’m o-okay I-I’m sorry for crying” she sniffled, Gigi running down to comfort her. She held her close snuggling up to her and apologising on repeat, telling her how beautiful she was. Kate knelt down, separating them “Gigi, did you call her a name?” she questioned sternly, Gigi nodding guilty. “That’s not okay I’m glad you’re sorry but that’s mean Geege. Cryssy honey do you need a moment? Would you like me to call your mommy?” The redhead shook her head sadly, cuddling Gigi “I’m be-being silly. Gigi is sorry I’m okay.” Kate nodded hesitantly, running her hand through each girl’s hair. Noticing the other two pop their heads out of the doorway. “Okay girls, lets get some ice cream shall we?” she said, the four yelling happily. The rest of the night was fun and Crystal really enjoyed herself. But the words still cycled in the back of her head, slithering their way into her subconscious. When she passed the mirror on the way out her face fell, the girl turning away and walked away, as far away from the reflection as she could.

………… 

As the autumn months rolled round, Jackie got more time off work. The Broadway season was coming to an end, giving her a few weeks before moving onto the next show. She loved autumn, spending time with her girls, sitting on the balcony reading and exploring the parts took up a large chunk of her time. The more time she spent at home the happier she tended to be, singing and humming around the house gleefully. However, this year something was different. Jackie had noticed a change in her daughter recently. The vibrant girl began to hide. Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes anymore, she shied away from her favourite colourful clothes, she hid in the background of photos. She was lost. She felt awful. That afternoon it was just the two of them alone in the apartment, curled up in blankets watching tv. Jackie leaned over her shoulder, careful not to scare her to see what the girl was doing. Smiling as she caught sight of the girls bright psychedelic drawing. “that’s such a good drawing Cryssy! Well done baby, we’ll put it up on the wall when you’re finished.” She cooed, happy to see the girl grinning back. “Mommy can we put it up there?” she pointed, towards the line of photos and artwork Jan had hung up during their annual spring clean. “We certainly can my little doll, we certainly can.” she mused, pulling her into a tight hug.

Crystal shifted staring up at her, Jackie was about to comment when she noticed the girl’s expression change. The green eyes scanned her face and a frown tugged at the corner of her lips. “Woah, nope. Baby come here something’s upsetting you and I want you to tell me what it is.” She said, gesturing over to their book corner. Crystal ran diving into the bean bags, holding her arms up for her mother. She latched onto her, staring up at the older woman as she spoke. “Mommy did anyone ever call you mean names at school?” she asked tentatively. “Baby, are they calling you mean names?” she asked, raising an eyebrow “I asked first!” the redhead whined. “Yes baby, they called me names and they used to take my glasses. Even mama got called mean names sometimes, I know she said the boys liked to call her piggy.” She ran her fingers through Crystal’s curls, watching as her daughter began to curl in on herself. “They call me ugly mommy…. And dirty. A-and they call me freaky …. they said my hair is weird and my arms are too skinny. And I’m chunky and I have an ugly face…. And I think… I think they are right.” Jackie pulled her close, kissing her forehead “Baby you are not ugly or dirty or freaky or chunky. Your arms are not too skinny, and your face is very, very pretty. Your hair is not weird its so lovely, remember what Grandma told you about red hair. It’s so special baby.” She cooed, feeling the girl relax into her arms “But you gotta say that because you’re my mommy. I’m not pretty mommy I’m weird.” 

Jackie sighed, holding her close. She thought back to her own young self, about how she’d wanted to change everything. How she wished her nose was different, how she wished her eyes were brighter, her hair more vibrant. It’d taken her years to look in the mirror and say she was beautiful. At thirty three she was stunning, she knew she had a good face, high cheekbones, legs to die for. That and if Jan called her beautiful, she had to believe her. But looking down at the girl in her arms she’d give that all way to see the girl smile. She wished nothing but positivity for her angel. Jackie felt her heart begin to break, listening to her bright confident Crystal feel so vulnerable. “Baby I’m telling you right now. And I’m telling you the truth you are very pretty.” She cooed, kissing the girl’s forehead. Crystal mumbled, cuddling into her mother with a sniffle. Jackie wracking her brains for ideas when she spotted Jan’s skin care from the bathroom sink, an idea forming in her mind. “Who calls you mean names baby?” she asked, pulling her hair away from her face. “Boys at school… and Gigi called me ugly once.” She sniffled. Jackie felt her eyes widen and stared down at her daughter sympathetically “She said it was a joke mommy, but it hurt a lot.” “Mean jokes can hurt a lot baby, even if it was a joke it was still mean. Now I’m sure Geege didn’t mean to hurt you but it still did. Have you forgiven Gigi?” The redhead nodded, wiping her eyes, no tears had fallen yet but she really, really didn’t want to cry. 

Crystal squealed as her mother lifted her, leading them to her bedroom. “How about we get dressed, put on your favourite outfit and we go get our nails done baby?” she asked, Crystal humming happily in agreement. She waited outside, glad to see Crystal coming out in her rainbow sweater. She leant down to hug her spinning her in circles “wow, cover girl material right here. Come on pretty girl lets go get you’re nails done.” She said, walking towards the door. Crystal shook her head, pulling on her mother’s blouse. “Mommy do my hair please?” she pleaded, placing herself down on the ottoman. Jackie sat behind her, running her fingers through her hair humming softly. She worked the hair through her fingers, plaiting the strands. She thought back to her own mother doing her own hair, thinking of how she’d berate her. “Jacqueline you need to take more care of yourself, you need to do better. Jaqueline please at least try to keep your hair nice” being a couple she remembered vividly. She stopped mid plait, leaning down to kiss Crystal’s forehead “tell me about your day sweetie” she tried. Smiling brightly as Crystal told her story giggling happily over how Widow had climbed up a tree and scared Pepper. Jackie laughed along finishing the braid. “Baby, anytime you want me to do your hair let me know. I’m not as good as mama but I love our new hair talks.”   
Crystal turned grinning, looking at herself in the mirror happily swinging herself round in circles. “It looks nice! You did good!” she yelled, sending her a thumbs up and jumping up for a high five. They left the house quickly, Jackie running after her down the streets of hells kitchen. She didn’t care what others thought, she didn’t care about anything except her daughter in that moment. They giggled and yelled, Jackie swinging her round in circles as they went to the salon. She beamed listening as the nail tech praised her, calling the girl beautiful. Jackie instantly joining in to compliment her. The girl smiling brightly, bouncing in her seat as the glitter was applied. They walked home through the park, taking a longer way home to look for birds and fairies. Crystal running as fast as her legs would carry her as she pointed out the cute birds hiding in the trees. On their way back to the apartment Jackie had her on her shoulders, careful not to let the sleepy child fall. She lifted her don onto the couch fixing them a hot cocoa each. The redhead burrowing her way into her arms “How are you feeling birdy?” Jackie cooed, rubbing her back. “Better but still ugly” she murmured, relaxing into her touch stifling a yawn. The brunette sighed holding her tightly, kissing her forehead “go to sleep my little beauty” she whispered. Glad Crystal couldn’t see the tears that flowed down her cheeks.

………………..

When Jan came home from a gig that evening Jackie told her everything, winding her arms round the blonde with tears in her own eyes. “How the hell does she think she’s ugly. I don’t get it she’s literally beautiful. She could be a fucking child model I don’t get it.” She wailed, wondering if her actions could be classed as hysterical. “I tell you that every three weeks babe, and you don’t listen” Jan teased, kissing her nose. “It’s shitty but if Geege said it, that must have been hard to hear. Sometimes kids have their low moments this isn’t your fault you tried your best. You couldn’t have done any better. We’ll try something else tomorrow but if she still feels really bad we’ll talk to Trinity about some self-esteem counselling.” Jackie wiped her eyes, smiling up at the blonde, a watery laugh escaping her lips “How the fuck are you so good at this Janice? Like how the actual fuck.” Jan kicked her knee playfully, leaning in to whisper “Magic and an overbearing Italian mother.” Before blowing in her ear and running off. Leaving Jackie both bewildered and enamoured by the enigma that was her wife.  
When the sun began to rise over the city, Jan was already up preparing. Jackie had been sent to bed after sleepily grumbling about the time. She set up fairy lights around a mirror, painting it in all shades of yellow, pink and green. Throwing glitter onto every part of the frame as she worked. She hid the frame on the balcony, walking to the kitchen to make blueberry pancakes. Chuckling to herself when the redhead ran rubbing her eyes to the kitchen, sleepily grumbling “pancakes?” The blonde took the plate over to the couch, patting the pillows beside her “Pancakes and cartoons. Come pick.” She chuckled, placing the plate down onto the table as the redhead clambered onto her lap. “She-ra please” she mumbled snuggling into her. They ate in near silence, Crystal getting more talkative as she woke up. The blonde listening intently to her critiques of Shera joining in when she could. Jan held the girl in her arms, running her fingers through her hair, deciding to rip of the proverbial bandage. “Birdy lets have a big girl talk right now. Can you do that?” The redhead nodded, looking up at her mother. “I talked to mommy yesterday and she told me about your talk. Darling, you are very pretty. One of the prettiest girls in the world I promise. Why do you think you are ugly?”

“My hair is too big and fluffy, Gigi wears her hair in pretty ponytails and it looks nice. Heidi has her pigtails and buns and they look nice but mine is always messy. Rock’s is always so bouncy and pretty! Even Dahlia has pretty straight hair and mine is all curly and un-un-rule-able.” Jan paused, running her fingers through the soft curls “Your hair isn’t unruly baby.” Crystal pouted angrily, frustrated her parents couldn’t understand her until Jan spoke again “If you feel bad about your hair why don’t we go get you a haircut. Try something new and cool?” Crystal nodded vigorously “I like that mama! Please!” Jan held her close, motioning Jackie over from where she stood at the doorway “My doll, you are not ugly. Okay? Let’s look in the mirror.” Jackie stood behind her with her hands-on Crystal’s shoulders as they walked out onto the balcony, the redhead gasping at the bright glittery monstrosity of interior design waiting for her. “Mama! Mommy! Is this mine?” she asked excitedly, both women chuckling as she ran towards it. “Yes baby, mama and I stayed up to paint it” Jackie said, earning her a shift elbow to the ribs from Jan. “Okay mama painted it” she wheezed, kissing the blonde’s temples.   
Jackie watched confused as Jan took out a pack of sharpies from under the bench. “Baby, we’re gonna try something very special. You can write them yourself or get mommy to write them, she has the nicest handwriting.” She handed the girl the packet, the redhead taking them slightly confused. “Lets write some nice things about you around the paint. Like what do you see in the mirror that you like birdy?” she asked, Jackie slowly catching on a smile spreading across her face. Crystal stared at her face in the mirror, taking a sharpie from the packet “I like my smile.” She said decisively, writing it along the edge of the mirror. Words flowed from the three of them, making their way onto the mirror. Some in beautiful cursive, some in scrawled loopy writing and some in slightly ill formed letters. Jackie smiled, reading some of the words aloud, noticing as Crystal’s posture seemed to improve, her smile reaching her eyes once again. “I am pretty, my freckles look nice, I am kind, I am creative, I look very good in red” were just a few of the sentences scrawled around the edges. When they were done Crystal launched herself into their arms smiling brightly. “Now every time you look into the mirror there’s some little reminders of how beautiful you are baby. If you feel ugly, you feel bad, just read the words around the mirror and remember how good it feels to tell yourself that” Jan cooed. The redhead cried, happy tears falling down her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around her parents. Jackie breathing a sigh of relief, hoping and praying this was the first step towards self-confidence. 

………………….

The brunette nervously bounced her leg as they waited in the hairdressers, Jan having to place her hand on her knee to stop the floor from shaking. When the chair turned round, Jackie blanched looking at her daughter. The mullet was different, she liked it she really did. But her mind flashed forwards. She blinked, her mind’s eye picturing a tall, tanned teenager with a bright smile, heavy makeup and colourful hair. The girl had tattoos, piercings and leopard print as far as they eyes could see. She reached her hand forward, holding her own baby daughter’s hand smiling. No, she wasn’t a teenager yet, she didn’t care how Crystal looked. She didn’t care if she got piercings or tattoos, or body mods or changed herself. As long as she was happy and healthy and the platinum smile she’d grown to love stayed firmly plastered on her cheeks. “My gorgeous little bird look at you. Work those curls diva.” She chuckled, Crystal spinning in circles. “I love it mommy I feel so pretty” she giggled, holding her hands as Jackie twirled her around the shop. “You are so pretty baby. The prettiest.” Jan chimed in, whooping as she joined in with them. The three twirling around the store as the stylist looked on amusedly. Crystal giggling the entire way home, flipping her hair and spinning in circles. She’d never felt more beautiful, she’d even let her mama take photos of her again. For the first time in a long time, she felt like herself and that felt amazing.

……………….

The rest of her break went well for Crystal, she’d wake up every morning, brushing her own hair. She’d read the messages on her mirror over and over again, happily grinning as she said each word out loud. She was pretty, she did have a lovely smile and she was cute. She’d skip down to the table in her bright colours, meeting her parents who’d kiss her forehead and compliment her. She’d run into their arms cuddling up to them as she was showered with praise. When school started, she got nervous, hanging on to Jackie’s arm as they walked. Jackie knelt down to her level, placing her hands on her shoulders. “Cryssy baby you’ll be okay I promise? Remember what we said last week about nasty words.” She nodded, parroting Jackie, the brunette huffing as she imitated her voice “Mean words are just mean words, remember all the good words on your mirror and remind yourself how pretty you are.” Jackie chuckled, playfully clapping her on the back “Good girl, but don’t be a smartass darling. Okay sweetie, mommy has to go. If anything goes wrong tell Miss Hytes and me and Mama will be here to get you in a heartbeat.” She kissed her cheek quickly turning to walk away hoping the girl would be okay.

The redhead walked into the classroom, holding her breath and shutting her eyes. Happy to feel warm arms wrap round her tightly with a little squeak “Cryssy! Your hair! Its so pretty!” Heidi squealed. Spinning her round in circles she giggled, running her fingers through the shorter strands. Rock ran over joining them quickly complimenting the girl as well. “She’s a model!” Rock yelled, latching herself onto the girl, dragging her over to their desk. Crystal relaxed happily, the boys seemed to be leaving her alone, a few kids had even told her she looked nice. Her confidence went through the roof, but she felt dread as the sound of tiny heels tapped towards her. She felt Gigi’s eyes on her, the brunette making her way towards them. Her stomach churned as the girl wrapped her arms tightly around her waist. “Crystal! You look so good!” She squealed, snuggling into her friends arms. Gigi’s approval had always meant the world to Crystal, they’d promised each other the summer before that’d it would just be them against the world. To hear her call her beautiful, was like a ray of light on a rainy day. Any clouds that had swarmed in her head seemed to lift. For the first time in months, she could safely say she loved the mirror once again.


	24. It ended at 11pm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystal's going to highschool and Jackie's having a melt down. Final chapter for this one folks its been a ride!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major long time no see! I'm kinda sad to be ending this one but here it is the final chapter!  
> Thank you so much for all of the support here for this I'm so happy you've enjoyed it and thanks for those who stuck around for the ride.
> 
> I'm nowhere near done with this universe though and will be creating a compilation of one shots from this Universe titled moments. If there's anything you've wanted to see in this universe from the time they picked her up until college just write a comment either here or on the first chapter of the new fic and I'll gladly write something. I have a few ideas of different thing's I'm gonna write that just didn't fit with the flow of the main story or felt a little repetitive 
> 
> Stay safe, healthy and hydrated and catch you in the next one!

Pictures tell a thousand words.

Words can twist, turn, sting and scathe. Words can heal, hold, comfort and enamour. But pictures, encapsulate thousands of these emotions, every small smile, the placement of a hand, the flowers, skies and trees can all send memories flooding back. As Jackie stared at the photos lining her office wall, she felt thousands of emotions overcome her. Her 35th birthday photo displayed proudly among the others on the wall, almost bringing her to tears. She scanned her own face, a bright smile almost matching her wife’s spread across her cheeks. But her eyes were drawn to the ball of fluffy red curls perched on her knee and the blank space beside it. Gangly limbs hanging over her legs nearly touching the floor, her bright smile and deep-set freckles speckled over her arms. She was so tall, now Jackie knew it wouldn’t be long before she was towering over Jan. Crystal’s elementary school graduation was soon, she was terrified. Her little girl, the tiny baby in the oversized t-shirt Jan had brought into her life was eleven. She was about to start middle school and Jackie wasn’t ready.

She was proud, so, so proud of her, but growing up had always left Jackie conflicted. She missed holding her hand to cross the street, she missed the way she’d ask for help with easy tasks. Maybe she wouldn’t need Jackie anymore once she started, what the brunette considered to be big girl school. She sighed slightly, chuckling as she noticed Tic Tac in the corner of the frame trying to steal some cake from a plate. Shaking her head to remove the wretched thoughts, willing for the clouds to lift and the sunshine to fill her mind. But it didn’t, for Jackie was a natural overthinker. It was selfish and she knew it, Crystal was really coming into her own and she was proud, so proud of the young woman she was becoming. She was a brilliant artist, smart, horrible with her words but always meant well and a beautiful person. She was still innocent, sweet and always willing to help where she could and held a childlike air about her. But if she could stop her growing, keep her a kid forever she thought she would do so in a heartbeat. She jolted when soft hands landed on her shoulders, blonde hair falling into her eyeline as Jan cuddled up to her. "Jackie babe are you crying?" She whispered between kisses.

She hadn’t even noticed the time, 11pm, of course Jan had noticed her missing. She hadn’t noticed she had been crying. "She's really grown up Jannie... she was like this big" she sobbed, seating herself on the shorter woman's lap. It was rare for Jackie to get emotional and even rarer for her to openly be vulnerable. Jan held her face, cupping her cheeks, her hands were warm. She swore the girl was half heater sometimes. "She's still our little baby Jacks. She's only eleven she can't make toast without burning it and she still cries if we leave the lights off, she's still baby" she cooed. Jackie humming affirmingly. No matter what happened, Jan could always calm her down and ease her mind, she was the human embodiment of a teddy bear. Her energy was infectious. She sighed holding the blonde closer, looking down at the soft features. She kissed the freckles on her nose muttering I love you between each. They stayed up to watch the rain, no matter what happened it would always be them against the world. Of that Jackie was sure. They curled up talking for hours, Jan soothing her to the best of her ability. The blonde’s warm arms and bright words easing her fears away.

Thunder clouds rolled overhead, the distant rumbles grounding her as they watched the sheets of rain cascade from above. A yelp caught her attention, but she couldn't be bothered to move. But quick paced footsteps however had her up in seconds running to meet her daughter halfway. Crystal's bright curls stuck to her face as hot tears rolled down her cheeks. "Mommy I'm scared" she mumbled, barely awake, her bleary eyes half focused. "Oh birdy, it’s just a storm" the brunette cooed, holding her arm out tentatively. She released a breath she didn't realise she'd been holding when the girl clambered into her arms tightly wrapping herself round her mother. She carried her to the couch, sitting her down on Jan’s lap. Jackie’s heart melting as the gangly limbs latched onto her neck. “Mama, I’m sorry, I-I’m” she wailed, burying her head. Jackie shook her own, humming gently as she ran her fingers through the matted curls. “My darling, don’t you ever be sorry we’ll always be here no matter what. Understand?” Crystal nodded, staring up between her parents with bleary eyes. Jan winked knowingly at her partner, soft blue eyes glistening in the moonlight as she hummed, wickedly smirking at her wife. “Hey Cryssy? Think you’d feel better if we watched the Muppets doll?” Jackie winced at the mention of the cursed movie, a laugh bursting from her throat as Crystal balled her fists, nodding eagerly. She pouted, shooting Jan a playful scowl, she could never say no to Crystal when she smiled like that, and Jan knew it. They stayed up into the early hours of the morning, making their way through the Muppets, Miss Congeniality and Blade Runner before the trio fell asleep. Basking in the early morning sunlight. Jackie’s mind at ease, the clouds of the night-time fading away. Her wife tucked safely under her left arm and her daughter curled up against her side, she hummed softly, shutting her own eyes. Wishing someone could take a photo of the little moments like these. A picture tells a thousand words, that is why she stores them in her mind. Words may scare her, but pictures, pictures can chase the words away.

………………………..

Jan took Crystal shopping the next day for her graduation outfit with Jackie tagging along. The girls had agreed to go shopping weeks before after Rock ad practically begged Dahlia’s parents herself. Jackie found herself coming too after Monet had announced a rest day, the lead had contracted food poisoning, and she was not going to complain. The three of them trotted through the mall, Crystal trying to teach her mom a new Fortnite dance whenever they stopped. Until it was time to meet with Gigi, Rock, Heidi and their parents. Dahlia had gone to a designer much to Rocks chagrin. They’d offered the same to Crystal in all honesty, but she hated the idea, she would rather shop with her friends. Crystal ran ahead, pawing through the dresses watching Heidi pull a beautiful pink gown from the rack. “What about this for me Crys?” she asked, spinning in circles. “That’s the one Heidi, hot.” She chuckled, wrapping her arms tightly round the shorter girl’s waist to lift her from the ground. The pair giggled, Heidi squealing as she ran off to the changing rooms with her mom trailing behind her. Rock and Gigi watched on, one with a smile the other with a grimace. She knew it was irrational but sometimes Gigi got jealous watching Crystal talk to Heidi, she knew they had a special bond. The girls having leant on each other when they were sad, when they felt down or insecure. But Crystal was her best friend she should be talking to her like that! She bit her lip holding out the three dresses in her arms and running to Crystal herself.

The redhead, grinned up at her best friend, watching the way her hair fell around her face. “hey Geege!” she yelled, pulling her into a tight hug. The brunette sighed happily, pushing her back to shove dresses in her face “which one? I like the blue but they yellow’s cute too.” Crystal dragged her fingers over the fabric, pointing to the blue high neck with pink lace. “This one Gee! You look so pretty in blue, matches your eyes” she chuckled, her smile spreading across her cheeks, her dimples cementing into her face. Gigi beamed back, Crystal’s smile making her feel warm and fuzzy, when her best friend was happy, she was happy. She hugged her tightly booping her nose before she ran off to her changing room, begging her mother to buy her heels to match. Crystal watched as Rock had run off with her own giant rainbow dress covered in tulle. She turned to her parents with a smile, beckoning both over with her finger. “Mama I feel so bad, but I hate them all” she wined, pouting up at Jan. Jackie chuckled, ruffling her hair, a soft gleam in her eyes as she swatted her hands away. “Mommy no that’s embarrassing” she chuckled, playfully slapping her side. “What’s so ugly with them Crys that yellow one is really cute” she asked, pulling a sunflower dress from the wall, only to be met with a scowl. Jan watched on as dress after dress was rejected, the other girls and their parents already running off to the shoe section. 

Jan hummed pensively, an idea forming in her mind; “Crys? What about a suit doll? Maybe a suit and some heels.” Her face lit up as she bounced happily, dragging her parents off towards the pants. The jackets lined the wall, suits in every colour as boys ran through with their parents. She stalked through the isle, her eyes darting between the clothes on the wall and the ones on the mannequin. Jackie leaned back against the shelves with her arms round Jan’s shoulders “let her be babe, she’ll find something. She’s a big girl now.” The blonde cocked her head, humming softly leaning in to place a kiss on her cheek. “And you’re okay with that now?” she teased, earning a slap on the ass “more than okay I get more time with you after all. We could always try a second one” she giggled. “You’d look pretty cute with a baby bump” she cooed, pressing her hands down on her stomach earing a huff and chortle. Jan shook her head violently, laughing softly “never ever again gorge, Birdy is my one and only.” Jackie chuckled shooting her a look of agreement, kissing her softly under the flickering store lights, both flicking their eyes to the mop of curls when they heard her yanking clothes off the wall.

They stayed talking for a while, the other parents coming over to chat every now and again when the girl squealed. “Mama! Got it!” she squealed, running over to her parents dragging an outfit behind her. Jackie grinned when she saw it, a powder blue low-cut eighties style suit with frills around the neck hung from her daughters back. She was about to playfully veto it when Jan took the garment out of her hands. “What if we got rid of the frilly shirt baby? Leave a t-shirt or one of your cool tops underneath? Then we can put your little flower clip up here?” she suggested. Turning to wink at Jackie. She nodded eagerly, dragging the pair off to the changing rooms behind her. Jackie stopped along the way to grab some matching blue heels for her. Smiling as the girl came out and twirled, striking poses like she was on a runway. Crystal never failed to make her smile, no matter how many insecurities her little girl had she’d never let them stop her. She bounced back, the kid was a massive emotional rubber ball as far as she was concerned. Jackie handed her the shoes helping her into them as Jan walked beside her helping Crystal keep her balance. Jackie stood back for a moment feeling that familiar bubble rise in her throat. She’d gone soft, so soft there would be no going back, but looking at the two girls that made her life complete, she couldn’t imagine going back.

…………………………

Crystal was excited, she was going to be going to big school! She’d be back with Widow again and her new school had the coolest arts programme. She’d miss her old school though she thought as she sat on top of the jungle gym, her legs dangling from the sides. She waited for Heidi and Gigi to climb up, knowing Dahlia and Rock would most likely be in the nurse’s office for the rest of lunch. Dahlia having fallen on top of Rock winding the pair of them. She shut her eyes, grinning as a familiar scent of orange blossoms filled her senses “Heidi!” she giggled. Latching onto the shorter girl they talked about their plans for upcoming graduation. Heidi’s family where taking her to chuck e cheese while Crystal had begged her parents to let Gigi come over for a sleepover. They talked for what felt like hours, with Heidi’s head settled in her lap. They’d moved onto crushes when Gigi appeared, Heidi whining about a boy in her their class for not noticing her. “Men are dumb, you’re so pretty he’d be lucky to have you” Crystal complimented, beaming as Gigi sat beside her with a huff.

“What about you Geege? Any crushes?” Heidi asked, sitting up for Gigi to throw her own head down into Crystal’s lap. “Nope, the boys here are all smelly” she declared, shutting her ice blue eyes as Crystal’s long fingers raked through her hair. Crystal giggled in response, resting her head on Heidi’s shoulder as they talked. Gigi vented her frustrations, ranting about how she wanted a curly haired boy to sweep her off her feet, Heidi grinning as she described someone very similar to the redhead on her left. “Anyway, what about you Crys? Any girls?” she asked, nudging her. “Mm… kind of Heidi I don’t know there’s a few pretty girls here but like…they’re all straight.” She giggled awkwardly, running her fingers through her own hair. “Yeah at big school they’ll have more lesbians Cryssy I’m sure” Heidi giggled, snuggling into her side. Gigi glared at the sight, quickly sitting up to wrap Crystal in her own arms. “Geege that hurts little too tight” she whined, pulling away from the brunette. When Gigi didn’t let go Heidi quickly got the hint climbing down the jungle gym, catching up with Widow. “Geege?” she questioned, hugging the brunette tightly. “Crys its not fair you’re always with Heidi and now you won’t tell me who you’re crushing on!” She angrily stomped her foot, moving out of Crystal’s grip “Geege is that why you’ve been upset all week I’m sorry” she said holding onto the brunette’s arm.

Gigi huffed, pushing her away only to regret it when Crystal fell against the bars. She quickly righted herself, brushing her off when Gigi checked on her, but the shaking of her knees suggested otherwise. “Crys I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me” she cried as she stumbled over her words. Crystal shook her off again, trying hard to ground herself. Her usual fluffy keychain sat in her bag, waiting for her, without it she felt lost. She gripped onto Gigi letting the brunette rub her back, an action that always seemed to calm her. “Crys you gonna be okay? I’m sorry” she mumbled, looking at the older girl. She hummed awkwardly nodding, curls falling into her eyes as her bangs bobbed up and down, she couldn’t no matter how obvious she was being verbalising that Gigi hurt her. “Your anxious?” she questioned, pressing her to which Crystal shook her head “was it me?” she shook her head again. Gigi huffed, angrily trying not to snap her best friend in half for her stubbornness. “Geege…I’m fine just... my tummy hurts.” 

“Its not fair Crys! Its so not fair I’m your best friend but you love Heidi more” she yelled, pushing her back slightly. “Geege I love you the most! You’re my best friend” she wailed, Crystal felt her head spinning, she hated confrontation. Gigi sighed, sniffling “I know you do but I feel supper bad Crys. Like I feel so jealous and I don’t know why.” The redhead stood to her full height pulling Gigi into a tight hug, Crystal wasn’t great with words, but Gigi was terrible. Crystal however was fluent in body language, the hunched shoulders, tense jaw and shaky footing she recognised well. She held the brunette until the crying stopped, not uttering a word other than “Gigi you’re my best friend” quietly in the taller girl’s ear. When Gigi calmed down, she smiled weakly, feeling the chest give out when Crystal smiled back. The brunette pulled her into a hug mumbling apology after apology resting her head on the shorter girl’s shoulders. Crystal threw her own head back swallowing the fear, grunting appreciatively as Gigi held her. She was confused but she was happy, she had her best friend’s back just before graduation. Maybe, just maybe things would be easier in middle school. 

…………………………

The morning of her graduation Jackie cried. She cried hard, tears flowing down her cheeks in the bathroom mirror as Jan brushed Crystal’s hair in the opposite room. She wiped her cheeks applying her makeup before she head out to find Crystal nervously pacing the hallway. “Birdy?” Jackie questioned softly, smiling slightly as the redhead jumped, dashing. Expertly running in her heels, she latched onto her mother “Mom I’m nervous” she whispered, burying her face into Jackie’s welcoming arms. “You’ve got nothing to worry about Crystal, its just a handshake I promise. You’ve got this birdy.” “Thanks mom love you” she mumbled awkwardly, refusing to let go for another minute. Actions spoke louder than words ever could between them. All Jackie had to do was hold her daughter for the love she felt to be expressed. She’d never look her in the eye, never question but hold her close until the tears stopped, or her breath calmed. Between the two of them Jackie and Jan had become fluent in Crystal. 

Jan leaned against the doorway, brush in hand clearing her throat softly as the pair turned. Crystal running ahead to snuggle into the blonde’s arms. “Mama can you do my makeup? Like blues and glitter? Please mama pleaaaase” she whined pulling her best puppy dog eyes, her lip quivering as her fists balled. Jan cooed her daughter, leaning in to place embarrassingly wet kisses on her cheeks, giggling as the girl squirmed laughing beneath her. “Ew mama no! You’re gonna get lipstick on me ewww!” she squealed, running over to the dresser, dodging the blonde’s playful attacks. They sat in near silence, Lady Gaga tracks quietly filling the room as Jan worked. Swiping blues and glitters across the girls face. Careful not to overdo it and topping her off with a red tinted lip gloss. “That’s my girl” she hummed proudly, tuning her in the mirror to admire her work. Even Jackie, hesitant as she was had to admit Jan had done a beautiful job. 

“You look beautiful baby” Jan cooed, rearranging the curls of her mullet so they fell over her shoulders. Crystal looked radiant, vibrant, quirky and unabashedly Crystal. Neither of her parents could be prouder. She grinned twirling round in the mirrors flipping her hair and humming Poppy songs, while Jackie and Jan got ready themselves. As the three sat and took selfies in the mirror the redhead pressed herself into Jan’s side, gripping onto Jackie’s hand. “Mama, mommy you’re gonna take the photo with me right?” she questioned, hints of nervousness portraying her fears. Jackie shook her head incredulously. “Crystal Elizabeth I wouldn’t miss it for the world baby” Jackie cooed. Jan’s less elegant “duh gorge, you’re my little girl!” left her wheezing, running towards the door excitedly as she called behind “C’mon we’re gonna be late. I promised Geege I’d walk with her!” She ran towards the door Jackie yelling after her scared the girls would break her ankles. 

The Uber pulled up quickly getting them to her school, she held onto Jan’s hand as they stepped out of the car. Jan’s matching pastel blue dress cementing her status as parent. Jackie’s own pale blue blouse tying the three together. Since the early day’s parents questioned them, assuming Jackie as the older parent to be her biological mother. The judgemental parents pushing her to the side. She wanted to make sure no judgemental adults ruined their girl’s special day. They settled in besides Rock’s parents watching as Crystal sped off as fast as her gangly legs would carry her. Jackie sighed resting her head on Jan’s shoulder staring at rows and rows of teary parents, ignoring them all in favour of the blonde above her. The ceremony itself was long, the heart was near unbearable, but it didn’t change a thing for Jackie. She watched with pride as Crystal grabbed her scroll shaking Miss Hytes hand with a grin as she turned on her heel to wave at the crowd. Jan had to try not to laugh as she skipped off down the stage behind a mildly embarrassed Gigi. The girl’s looked beautiful, almost grown up. Most Grown-ups Jackie hoped at least, didn’t manage to cover their friends with spray cheese. Rock’s hair was a mess by the end of the session her dad trying his best to get it out while Jan grumbled as she wiped the offending yellow substance off Crystal’s cheek. “It looks fine mama. Let’s go please? I wanna go take photos please?”

Just when everything seemed like it would go well, Crystal decided to be Crystal. They had taken their photos Jackie insisting they buy all of them and Jan begging her to get a keychain photo for Alexis. The parents had congregated near the trellis and the girls were playing catch with Heidi’s heel after the shorter girl had kicked them off in anger when she’d tripped. “Careful Rock you’ve got a baseball throw” she warned, pointing accusingly. They laughed, Heidi’s trademark grin giving her away as she burst into her own signature giggle. They played happily while their parents talked, Dahlia even getting a long shot in. That was until Gigi tripped, managing to launch the shoe onto the terrace roof. “What the hell Geege?” Dahlia brayed, laughing as Heidi mumbled about being murdered by her parents. Crystal stared up at the shoe mapping her way up to the roof in her head as she rubbed Heidi’s back. “Nobody’s dying not tonight. I’ve got it” she beamed, sending Heidi a signature wink. “All we need is a table I can do science on” she proclaimed proudly, the others giving her a perplexed look as they cleared a neighbouring table. Gigi eyed her suspiciously as she clambered on top “this doesn’t look like science Crys” she warned, only to be met with a quick “no but I will be climbing, for science.” Before they could utter another word she’d kicked off her heels and clambered half way up the vines. Horrified parents stared up at her screaming for the girl to climb down while Jackie could only groan and Jan laughed snapping photos. “Got it Heidi!” she yelled waving the shoe above her head, clambering down to applause from her friends and strange looks from the other parents. Jan didn’t care proudly showing her new lock screen to the others, wrapping an arm around her daughter while Jackie had decided to wave it off. Even at a formal event Crystal was a hurricane of destruction, Jackie only dreaded what teenage Crystal could do but chuckled to herself. She snatched her up in her arms holding her close “never grow up birdy, just stay like this forever” she whispered, staring down at the warm green eyes and flashing teeth she adored so much “even when I’m a grown up mom I’m still gonna bug ya” she giggled. Jackie wasn’t exactly sure if she knew what impact her words had on her mother, but it was the comfort she had been seeking all day. Her mind once again calming and the stormy seas of angst in her brain replaced with tranquil waters, waiting for a certain redheaded menace to affectionately stir them once more. 

Crystal and Gigi sped off to the girl’s bedroom, Crystal stopping to turn and kiss her mother’s goodnight with a quick “Love you mom, love you mama” before descending into her glittery cave. Jan hung the frame proudly on the wall slinging her arm around her with a kiss “Its so cute gorge! Maybe we should get a new couples photo fill up this spot right here… or we could dress Tic-Tac like a unicorn again.” The brunette chuckled, catching wind of the girl’s conversation in the other room shaking her head as crushes were discussed. “She’s acting like a teenager already” Jackie chuckled, collapsing onto the couch beside the blonde, burying her face into the shorter woman’s shoulders. “At least they didn’t do anything too stupid” she chuckled, earning her a delighted squeal from her wife. “Don’t worry gorge” Jan teased, mussing up her wife’s hair “There’s always prom night!”


End file.
